I would suggest that you look over your story a little bit; there are some stylistic errors that need cleaning up. Here are a few examples:
In the past I never had a reason to come here until now.
You might want to take out "In the past", or simply remove the last phrase and replace "here" with another word for another way to describe this repression center.
I wanted to forget him. I wanted him out of my mind and soul. I had tried my hardest to forget about him.
The repetition here is a bit off and slightly awkward. You might want to use the same verb tense on the third sentence, as well as replace the second "forget" with another phrase.
That's only the first two paragraphs, though. If you need more help adding style, just ask for more advice.
You might want to add more adjectives to spice up the imagery and add some color to your story. I'm not exactly sure what tone the author has for the beginning (Scared? Frustrated? Dull?).
It's okay to use brackets, but using them in dialogue seems a bit strange. Maybe it's just me, but using hyphens or dashes to imply a side comment would be better.
Adding distinct characterization to the narrator would be optimal. At the end of the story, I still had a hazy image of Asher at the end of the chapter.
Maybe it's just me again, but the ending was a bit awkward. Providing a smoother transition (like using anger-infested diction) before the swearing would make the ending a bit more plausible.
Adding voice to your chapter is what probably needs the most improvement, but it's hard to give advice for improving voice. Just practice writing, and don't give up.
I liked the plot, especially the quasi-teaser at the beginning. This fanfiction has a lot of potential. Keep it up, and have fun writing!