Collection of Short Stories[PG-13]

Started by xJordan360 February 10th, 2010 12:58 AM
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  • 2 replies
Age 30
Male
541
Seen January 2nd, 2014
Posted February 20th, 2012
349 posts
13.3 Years
Here, I will post a collection of my works in short stories.
Feel free to critique (Actually, I would encourage you to do so).
Be sure to check out my Poetry, link in my siggy, as well.
:]

Reflections of the Heart
Spoiler:
The lights were dim. A cliche horror film played on my television, but I had no clue what it was about. The mere inches between us felt like miles, yet at the same time I felt no distance at all. The plain box sat unnoticed on the coffee table, waiting to be opened.

The movie closes on an overdone happy ending. As the credits roll, I silently hand her the brown box. She held it in her hands, testing its weight. Pulling the box open, she carefully peered inside. As the contents of the box registered in her mind, a grin broke out on her face.

She pulled out a soft, red plushie; a penguin. Holding it tight against her she mumbled a quiet thank you. She had told me not to get her anything, but I knew she loved it.

The second film began, and the distance between us again felt so far, yet nonexistent. Without much thought,my fingers stretched towards hers, our hands intertwining. Such a simple act of affection has never made me feel more complete.

It lasted forever, yet ended far too soon.

2-8-10, Creative Writing Class


The Timeless
Spoiler:
When one is no longer moving through time, they cease to exist to the rest of time-bound society. They never die, yet they are never truly alive, either. It's a wired thing to be cast from the stream of time. Being unrestrained from the fast moving currents, they are free to wander the riverside, viewing any part of the waters that please them.

They can essentially dip their fingers in the river, but never truly immerse themselves in the world below, and, eventually, withdraw from the cold water, as their hands grow numb, and difficult to move. To those who exist in time, the Timeless are mere shadows of what they once were. Often appearing as a figure in the corner of ones eye, or as a ghostly silhouette. Being present before one of the Timeless is a chilling experience, often attributed as a paranormal event. Time literally slows around the witness, and the air takes on a cold chill as the essence of time slowly evaporates until the Timeless can no longer hold itself in time, and returns to its separate, parallel world.

Perhaps the strangest thing about the Timeless lies in their creation. No one truly knows where the first Timeless originated. Not anymore, at least. Ironically, that secret has been lost in the folds of time. What a lucky(or perhaps cursed) few do know, however, is the terms of creation for the Timeless. Such knowledge can, and almost definitely will lead to being essentially ripped out of time.

The Timeless can in no way instantly become aware of the possession of such knowledge, however, the timeless are always viewing our world, and any mention or reference of or to the timeless cannot go unnoticed forever. The timeless, to our minds, "travel" through time as they please, unrestricted by the laws that bind us, and have an unlimited access to any part of anything's existence in time.

It is without a doubt, one would think, that eventually all records and knowledge of the Timeless will be lost. That is to say, it would be, if not for the side-effects of being ripped out of time. When one is ripped from time, they are incompletely erased from the memories of all who knew them. Incompletely in the sense that the memories are more suppressed than erased, and, on a rare occasion, can be triggered through an event or through the senses.

Once a Timeless has been remembered, the bearer of these memories slowly becomes more aware of the Timeless, and, typically, the Timeless become more aware of them...

A concept for a story (most likely a full length "novel" style story) I have been tossing around.

Miz en Scène

Everybody's connected

Male
The Wired
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted August 30th, 2016
1,645 posts
14.7 Years
First thoughts were; Oh God, newbie there's no need for spoiler tags. Seriously...
But, when I opened it, you blew me away. :D

I'm not one for sappy romance type fics, but I have to say that you handled this really well. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a critic/reviewer. Lol

Anyway, let's begin.
The mere fact that it's a sort off drabble makes it easy for me to analyze every single bit and particle.
The lights were dim.(Effective setting of mood and visualization.) A cliche horror film played on my television, but I had no clue what it was about(Filler makes it all worthwhile in the long-run. You relate more to the reader with this kind of thing.). The mere inches between us felt like miles, yet at the same time I felt no distance at all(I like the inversion of words here. It;s really poetic in a sense.). The plain box sat unnoticed on the coffee table, waiting to be opened(Yet again, spectacular and straight to the point.).
The movie closes on an overdone happy ending.(This also sets the tone that the narrator is fixed on something other than the background.) As the credits roll, I silently hand her the brown box. She held it in her hands, testing its weight. Pulling the box open, she carefully peered inside. As the contents of the box registered in her mind, a grin broke out on her face.
She pulled out a soft, red plushie; a penguin. Holding it tight against her she mumbled a quiet thank you. She had told me not to get her anything, but I knew she loved it.(Favourite part btw.)
*Squees* :D
The second film began, and the distance between us again felt so far, yet nonexistent. Without much thought,my fingers stretched towards hers, our hands intertwining. Such a simple act of affection has never made me feel more complete.(Seriously though, you have a real flair for the theatrics. Have you ever considered soliloquy writing for character monologues?)
It lasted forever, yet ended far too soon.
Indeed it did.

Well, I see plenty of potential for you in the field of fiction writing. You're very poetic and talented. Keep writing. Maybe start an actual fic. Keep at it!
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Age 30
Male
541
Seen January 2nd, 2014
Posted February 20th, 2012
349 posts
13.3 Years
First thoughts were; Oh God, newbie there's no need for spoiler tags. Seriously...
But, when I opened it, you blew me away. :D

I'm not one for sappy romance type fics, but I have to say that you handled this really well. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a critic/reviewer. Lol

Anyway, let's begin.
The mere fact that it's a sort off drabble makes it easy for me to analyze every single bit and particle.
*Squees* :D
Indeed it did.

Well, I see plenty of potential for you in the field of fiction writing. You're very poetic and talented. Keep writing. Maybe start an actual fic. Keep at it!
<(^_^<)
(>^_^)>
d(^_^)b
Ahh, thank you for the feedback.
:]
I'm actually very proud of that piece of work.
Truth be told, it's non-fiction, which is perhaps how I managed to "capture the moment" so well.

Also, I have posted another piece entitled "The Timeless".
It is a concept for a full-length book I wish to write, eventually.
Feedback not only on the writing, but on the concept itself would be greatly appreciated.

A second note on the new piece, I wrote it in passive voice in my journal, and edited it as I typed it. Let me know if I missed any bit.