Today Was A Fairytale

Started by Sweet Jasmine February 26th, 2010 3:09 AM
  • 570 views
  • 5 replies
Age 31
Female
Chi Town
Seen July 12th, 2010
Posted March 2nd, 2010
1,040 posts
14.8 Years
All I can say that Today Was A Fairytale.

Today Was A Fairytale

I woke up at the morning at 6am
The sun rises up and hear the birds sing.
The sound of it is relaxing.
Then I heard the waterfalls screaming.
It's like a fresh song that unites us all.

Today was a Fairytale
There are many things that we did
We all had fun, we all experience new things
And most of all we discovered something new about ourselves.
Now, All I can say is that Today Was a Fairytale.

In the afternoon, at 1pm,
My friend invited me to go to the mall
I asked permission from my parents
And they agreed and I changed my clothes
Spray the perfume in my body
It's really exciting because It's my first time to go with them.

Today Was a Fairytale
There are many things that we did
We all had fun, we all experience new things
And most of all we knew that each other were true friends.
Now, All I can say is that Today Was a Fairytale

It's already 6pm, and it's time for me to go.
It's sad to leave them cause I wanted to be with them forever.
But sadly, It's our last day because today was our last examination.
Summer is coming and we're gonna seperate.

All I can say that Today Was A Fairytale
We knew that we'd still meet each other in the near future.
So all of us made a promise that we will never, ever forget each other.
Today Was A Fairytale.

~

Hope you enjoyed. : 3, It's kinda boring though; XD

all i ever wanted was happiness

seeker

Ireland
Seen November 1st, 2019
Posted May 20th, 2018
10,593 posts
14.1 Years
I hate to agree with you, it is a little bit boring. It's a decent tale, but one thing bothers me. What kind of poetry did you use? It doesn't look like anything I know about.

It's a pretty good work, but I find it a little questionable.
Care to elabourate on why it's questionable?
It's a Free Verse poem. You don't have to go by a paticular structure to have a good poem you know. I don't see why it would bother you, unless you're OCD about structure. In any case, I may come back and do a quick run down of the poem, but on first read it's a little all over the place rhythmically wise, syllables dont stick to a beat and the rhyming isn't consistant, rather just thrown in here and there. "Today Was a Fairytale" uneeded capitalisation, the same sentence wasn't capatilised in the 2nd but in the third. I'll try get back to going more in depth in a bit.
Age 29
Male
Seen October 13th, 2021
Posted February 2nd, 2017
1,093 posts
13.8 Years
Free verse poetry is fine. The only thing that I don't seem to like too much about it is that it is a little too easy.
What I mean is, you don't really need to put much thought into what you write.
It's okay though, especially for writers who don't have much experience.