what do YOU do to telemarketers? (be creative!)

Started by XCHAMPX March 13th, 2010 8:24 PM
  • 1195 views
  • 36 replies
Age 26
Male
I live here ----------------------------------------------------------
Seen May 1st, 2010
Posted May 1st, 2010
246 posts
13.4 Years
I never get called by them, I don't have a landline. But, I would act all interested in what they say, even though I'm not.
Hrm, I am not the best of people, but I really do try to be. If you notice me being rude or whatever, would you please tell me?

Other Stuffs:

Pair: </3 No one. But, I don't want one [/lie] SO, BLEH! xD
Family: </3 I am an orphan Dx.

twocows

The not-so-black cat of ill omen

Age 32
Male
Michigan
Seen February 19th, 2023
Posted April 30th, 2021
4,307 posts
14.2 Years
Pretty much this.
[AGELIMIT]
Spoiler:
Sound warning. Don't play at work. Serious about the age limit, too. http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/
[/AGELIMIT]
VNs are superior to anime, don't @ me

Her

Age 29
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
I've discovered that answering all their questions with magic 8 ball answers drives them insane, for example:

"HI! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY FUJITSU AIR CONDIIONING FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $130 DOLLARS?"
"Better not tell you now."

"UHHH..UM..CAN I INTEREST YOU IN ONE OF OUR OTHER PRODUCTS?"
"As I see it, yes."

And so forth. I can keep a conversation for ten minutes, going round and round in circles until the telemarketer hangs up.

curiousnathan

Male
Australia
Seen October 18th, 2020
Posted October 5th, 2020
7,753 posts
13.7 Years
I've discovered that answering all their questions with magic 8 ball answers drives them insane, for example:

"HI! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY FUJITSU AIR CONDIIONING FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $130 DOLLARS?"
"Better not tell you now."

"UHHH..UM..CAN I INTEREST YOU IN ONE OF OUR OTHER PRODUCTS?"
"As I see it, yes."

And so forth. I can keep a conversation for ten minutes, going round and round in circles until the telemarketer hangs up.
Hey, that's what I do! =D

Niprop

The Fighting Porygon Team

Male
Somewhere Between the Internet and Reality
Seen January 25th, 2012
Posted January 23rd, 2012
846 posts
14.7 Years
"Hello. Would you be interested in..."

*Niprop pulls out a Foghorn and blows it into the telephone*

"Hangs up*

´ 3`) official gulpin emote. ^.^Help gulpin take over the Internet and use him for your signature!
"Yay! Yay! ♪ Perfect Apple! ♪ Perfect Apple! ♪"
- Wigglytuff
"Geodudes are really tough."- Random kid from Pokémon Commercial
"Dragonite for the win!"- Lance
"Are you kidding me? Not my Chikorita!"- Random kid from other Pokémon Commercial

FreakyLocz14

Conservative Patriot

Male
Seen August 29th, 2018
Posted August 28th, 2018
3,497 posts
14 Years
I just answer and put the phone down, letting them talk until they realize I'm not listening and hang up.
I would actually do that if my minutes weren't limited.

I usually act like I'm interested and hang up when they think they've got a sale.

Elite Overlord LeSabre™

On that 'Non stop road'

Age 97
Shimoda City
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted January 25th, 2022
9,705 posts
15.5 Years
The whole "Start singing 80's songs really off-key" trick is surprisingly effective.

Barring that, I have a small chalkboard by my phone, which I can scratch with my fingernails....

Elite Overlord LeSabre™
PC Vital Stats
* Pair
* PC Family
* Bishies
* VG Claims
* Friend Codes
Links
* Blog
* Web Site
* Fan Fictions:
* Leaf Green LP

emoBill™

† мазохист †

Age 30
Male
Россия // Russia
Seen May 18th, 2010
Posted March 29th, 2010
763 posts
17.5 Years
I don't get calls from them, but if I did, I'd act interested.
I'd ask all kinds of questions like, "Really? It's that cheap?"
And then at the end I'd be like, "No, sorry, not interested."
i want your drama, the touch of your hand
i want your leather studded kiss in the sand

Age 27
Raxacoricofallapatorius
Seen October 30th, 2010
Posted September 24th, 2010
126 posts
13.5 Years
Most of the time, they hang up before I reach the phone, which is odd.

But when I do get to talk to them, I try to sell them something, which is quite fun.
I usually try to sell them either telephone insurance or a Soviet Union travel guide, neither of which have any practical uses. xD
if you've done nothing wrong, you've got nothing to fear

if you've something to hide, you shouldn't even be here

Yuukihime

I'm allergic to people.

Age 29
Female
Reading.
Seen November 15th, 2015
Posted April 22nd, 2012
1,178 posts
15.8 Years
My friedn came up with a bunch of scenarios but I thought the msot memorable one was.

"HELLO, WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN X PRODUCT?"
"Sorry, the only person who would be interested in that product is currently beign eaten by a bear *hang up*"
"The world is not changing if you don't shoulder the burden of responsibility" - Ai Weiwei
Role-player|Reader|Language Studies Major|
Apparently I have a Pair who's name is Cirrus

NikoBelic999

Friendly Hometown Mugger....XD

Male
STRANGER DANGER! STALKER! We dont have to know that, now do we?
Seen August 1st, 2010
Posted July 31st, 2010
136 posts
13.3 Years
"Hello Sir, Would You Be Interested in the TVX 5000?"
"Tell Me What It Does."
"It Lets You Watch TV and Lets You Do Housework!"
"Keep On Talkin'."
"It Costs 3 Payments of $49.99, Plus Ship--"
"Go take your S*** and shove it!"
*hangs up"

XD

Kon~

Follow your dream to the end ~

Age 29
Female
Wherever the stars take me
Seen April 12th, 2011
Posted April 12th, 2011
1,358 posts
13.3 Years
I have a little music player by the phone, and when they ask "Is Mr X there?" I say, "Hold on a minute" and start playing the music until they decide to hang up. Occasionally, I put in a little "Please hold the line. Your call will be taken soon." before resuming the music.

If I'm tired, though, I just say "NO!" and hang up.

"You want to look up at the sky and always see the stars." ~ Things You Remember
~~
~~
He/Him
Seen April 23rd, 2021
Posted January 15th, 2011
760 posts
13.9 Years
Example of a convo I have had. XD

Telemarketer: "Hello, would you be interested in-"
Me."Hi, You've reached Pizza Business. May I take your order?"
Telemarketer: "-A new T2- Vacuum cleaner?"
Me: "So you want the Janitor's Pizza. Right. Want soda with that?"

Inactive profile
Feel free to remove me from your friends list
Age 31
Male
Brazil
Seen March 15th, 2014
Posted March 12th, 2013
346 posts
13.2 Years
I never get called by them, I don't have a landline. But, I would act all interested in what they say, even though I'm not.
Neither.


I think I'd try to politely say I need to hang up. Some people mock or get upset, but that's what they do to live.

.Fenris

Just a bystander, don't shoot!

Male
Castelia City
Seen June 28th, 2012
Posted September 11th, 2011
291 posts
14.2 Years
I fake going into a cursing fit and just blow an airhorn into the speaker when I 'curse'.

Example:

"Hello, would you like to purchase--"
"Hey, ya know what? *airhorn* you piece of *airhorn*, now get the *airhorn* off my line, you *airhorn*-ing little *airhorn*!

And then the telemarketer teaches me all the nice words he knows. 8D


C'mon people, talk to me. I don't bite... not hard, anyway...