The Crazy ways.... Rated UF (Ultra funny!)

Started by The Vince Knight October 29th, 2004 4:07 AM
  • 567 views
  • 4 replies
Age 29
Hunting RPGers like Alana.
Seen July 13th, 2008
Posted March 31st, 2008
1,375 posts
19.7 Years
This will be in spriptive form and done really rude. So if you are very young,Watch out.....

In front of a camera...
Misty: HI I'M THE YET FAMOUS WATER POKEMON TRAINER! My sisters have a brain the size of a nut and they have such useless water pokemon like Seel and Goldeen. There attacks are only Splash. HAHAHHAHAHAH!
Lily: Not true!
Lily gets out a baseball bat and whacks Misty goes up all the way to Vermillion city. Bang!
Lily: Oh hi I am the best. Misty has pokemon that totally suck and her skill is totally stupid.
Daisy: DON'T TEASE YOUR SISTER!
Daisy gets out a Big hammer turns it sideways and Lily dodges it by turning to the side and it hits.....
Jessie: Oh Meowth You **** said that the Twerpss would come here!
Jessie chokes Meowth.
Meowth: Ummm... They aren't here yet....
James Shivers and gets scared.
James: III TTThink YYYou SSShould LLLock BBBEhind YYYou GGGuys....
Jessie and Meowth: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Jessie,James and Meowth get whacked into the sea... And then.....
Jessie,James and Mewoth: WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!

Anyway That is just an example of my story.... I'll post better stuff.
Spoiler:
You've unlocked the way to own The Vince Knight!




...oh dear!

Spoiler:
My brother abuses me. Don't tell him ANYTHING.

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,329 posts
18.7 Years
*weeps silently at her name*

Script fics- No one really can do a proper one except Yamato-San, eh? For example, the details you gave were...not in the correct format if you can say that. I, myself, have NO problem with script fics with parody, drama or just anything you want if you know how to do one. Yours is obviously is aiming for parody and humor, yet it's a bit raw considering the plotline as well.

In spite of the length, how did the scene suddenly change from Lily/Misty/Daisy to James/Jessie/Meowth? And come to think of it, no specifics were given as of how they were flown out to sea, although that *is* a typical day of Pokemon. When you're writing sentences, you didn't put in brackets making the dialogues look like they've been replaced.

I'm not the best on script fic, but hope you do better on the next one and keep it up. ^_~

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.
Seen December 27th, 2018
Posted May 10th, 2009
766 posts
18.9 Years
I...don't get it. Not trying to be mean, but this is like the Pokemon TV version...only worse. The plot is raw, I agree.

Here's a tip though, never put any sign that it's funny/sad/good/bad in the thread title. It gives the reader a prediction that it will be funny/sad/good/bad and the reader will prepare for it (laughing/crying/praising/booing). Removing that sign provides elements of surprise for the readers.

Like this:

1) Man you've got to try this sandwich. It's so good!
*eats*...it's ok.

2) Try this sandwich.
Wow this is good!!!
Is there a Treeland? If so, there.
Seen March 13th, 2013
Posted April 22nd, 2011
454 posts
18.7 Years
Random insanity I'm guessing? Not many people can pull it off sometimes . . . You've gotta give it some type of plot then just writing whatever pops up to mind . . .

Okay, so I do that too but I don't write insanity scripts heh. ^^;

Not here anyways.

In a nutshell, give it description, give it plot, try to keep the characters in character and so on and so forth. Makes teh insanity better. ^_^;

LaTeR dAyZ!

Kylie-chan

[span="background:#000; padding: 2px 10px;"][color=#C47399]NERF [b][i][color=#789DED]THIS[/color][/i]![/b] [color=#F7E1EE]♥[/color][/color][/span]

Age 29
Non-binary
New South Wales, Australia
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2016
14,976 posts
18.7 Years
Nice try.

a) UF. Instantly, I turned against the story. It's really a bit of a boast. And it was not funny anyway.

b) The humour was cruel violence, cliched. Come on. Hitting your sister over the head with a baseball bat/hammer, etc.? Been there, done that. OU.

c) I'm the yet famous water trainer? Doesn't make sense. "I'm the to-be famous water trainer!" "I'm the yet-to-be famous water trainer!" They make sense.

d) Also you made a few typos, like lock and twerpss.

e) It's script fic. Script fic has to be written properly. Yours has no description. It's one of the thumbs-down examples.

I could go on forever. Put it this way - there's a lot to be desired but nice try for random insanity.

Sorry.

~DP~
PON PON WAY WAY WAY

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