Blood & Tears

Started by Sumomo & Kotoko November 1st, 2004 10:32 AM
  • 885 views
  • 8 replies

Sumomo & Kotoko

Seen February 14th, 2012
Posted February 14th, 2012
1,947 posts
18.8 Years
Blood & Tears

A teenage girl, a knife at her wrist
Why? she asks
The emotion pours, like the blood on her arms
Why me? she pleads
Tired of crying tears she lets the blood run instead
For her it is so much easier, easier than life
Whats the use of living?


She breathes agony like oxygen, silently screaming
for someone to listen, to hold her, and tell her she's worth it
She crys out for something to live for, someone to love her


But there is nothing, there is no one,
To hold her and clean her wounded heart,
Caked with blood and the salt of her tears


She doesn't know of the One,
weeping for her, for her soul, for her very existence


Nobody has told her that there is anything,
anything but the abuse, the lies,
the pain and terror, of anything but the blood & tears


Her blood sprinkles onto the ground like rain
Darkness takes her hand,
Slowly the pain is over,
Her life is gone
gone forever
because nobody told her there was anything
but the blood & tears

~Ozy~

PC's Unofficial Poetry Critic

Age 34
White Sword Tower
Seen June 12th, 2012
Posted December 1st, 2006
5,246 posts
19 Years
Hmmmm...7.5/10. I don't usually like poems that have no logical rhyme or rhythm, as this one doesn't. That takes away from my enjoyment to some extent. On the other hand, it's emotional and psychologically descriptive. I like that. I'd enjoy seeing mor elaboration on "the One" and perhaps a line or two on WHY she's this way. Otherwise, good work, it sounds like you might have a bit of personal experience in this area.
Eternally devoted and wed to my darling pet, Nagoyaka Aikouka.


"Your Grace, all that you say is true. On the Trident, Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought honorably, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died.
Age 62
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen April 26th, 2018
Posted June 9th, 2014
11,439 posts
19.7 Years
It's good, and I do like the feel of it... it feels more like a song lyric than a poem though.


"One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
Albert Einstein

"What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
Benjamin Franklin

"Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
Bertrand Russell

avatar and signature by FoxHound

ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.