Poems By Me

Started by valor555 April 15th, 2010 4:37 PM
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  • 1 replies

valor555

The Only Light in the Deep Sea

Male
unda tha sea
Seen August 15th, 2011
Posted July 16th, 2011
384 posts
13.7 Years
So this year in my math class i started to get reeeeeeeeaaaaaaly bored. so to pass the time i started writing poems and drawing little comics. When i showed them to friends they said the poems were good, but i didn't know if they meant it or just saying it because we are friends. So i'll let strangers give me their honest opinions on two of my favorites that i wrote. (the first uses the F word so ill censor it to make people comfortable with it)


What A Shame

When time leaves us, times cruel joke
A man's ambition gone up in smoke.
So many things left undone, unsaid.
He put them off but now he's dead.
Learn a lesson from this man's bad luck.
Don't go through life asking "Who gives a ****?"
Live your life do what you can,
So you don't wind up like this poor dead man.


Illuminate

The weight of the gloom falling down with a crash
The angry people go around feeling bold, acting rash.
Sadness, anger, hatred around us they swirl
Trying to drown out all the light from this world.
Though it begins to dim, it starts to grow small
There is always a light with love for us all.
There will always be one in this world with the light in their heart
So the love from this world will never depart.
Every boy, Every girl all across the land
Lets light together as one, hand in hand.


Well there you have them. please be 100% honest and any criticism you have, I encourage you to post it. (thnx to Zirkle38 for making me realize i copied my own poem wrong XD)
Go Here
I am almost 18 play pokemon, wear a Mighty Morphin Power Rangers shirt, and love Mac and Cheese if you think i'm childish you can burn for all I care!
"And shepherds we shall be,
for Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti."


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