Should the legal age for marriage be raised?

Started by Ho-Oh April 22nd, 2010 5:53 AM
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Ho-Oh

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Getting married at 16, 18, younger? Preposterous! I believe that the age should be raised to at least 25, for maturity reasons. What do you think about this subject?

Signomi

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I do think the minimum age limit should be somewhere mid twenties. As it has already been said, it is because younger people do tend to be rather hasty in their decision making and it does take a great deal of maturity and understanding of one another for two people to go into holy matrimony.

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Yusshin

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While I'm fine with 18 being a good age for people to get married since they're deemed an "adult" in society, I don't think the laws should enforce any rules on two people loving each other.

inb4religiousdebate
18 is a great age; most people won't marry at 18, though. They generally wait until 21+ for that, and might get engaged before that.

I'd like to have married at 16 my fiance (since we were just going to get married at 18 anyway, and it would have avoided a lot of issues with his over-religious parents), but you need parental permission at that age. I'll be 18 this year so it's all good :] Getting married in October, just after our 3rd-year anniversary in August. I'll have known him for almost four years by that time, and lived with him for two without issues, so for those deeming 18 too young in this case, I think you're crazy since you won't find a couple as loving and loyal as us :<


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Ho-Oh

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But marriage is still a big step, not everyone knows what they're getting themselves into with marriage. It's like speeding your childhood ahead, in a way. Next thing it'll be a house, kids, all by 20 or so? D:

Yusshin

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But marriage is still a big step, not everyone knows what they're getting themselves into with marriage. It's like speeding your childhood ahead, in a way. Next thing it'll be a house, kids, all by 20 or so? D:
Marriage =\= Kids; it's just a status to avoid issues / to obtain certain legal rights. It doesn't even prove love. It's just some papers you fill out to allow the government to see you as an actual couple. That's how it is today, anyway. I much prefer the religious view on it, though (where marriage is for love and is only done between a woman and a man who are loyal, respectful, and over-their-heels in love), and that's what I go by.

There's no set age for us for kids, either. It's merely "when we're financially capable". I'm assuming that'll be in around eight years :<

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Signomi

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18 is a great age; most people won't marry at 18, though. They generally wait until 21+ for that, and might get engaged before that.

I'd like to have married at 16 my fiance (since we were just going to get married at 18 anyway, and it would have avoided a lot of issues with his over-religious parents), but you need parental permission at that age. I'll be 18 this year so it's all good :] Getting married in October, just after our 3rd-year anniversary in August. I'll have known him for almost four years by that time, and lived with him for two without issues, so for those deeming 18 too young in this case, I think you're crazy since you won't find a couple as loving and loyal as us :<
Ahaha, if I had a penny for every time some lovey-dovey couple said that to me, I'd be one heck of a millionaire.

Incidentally, marriage is no topic one can juggle lightly. Remember, if you agree to marrying one another, you must take into mind that you will be waking up to the very same person every single day for the rest of your life. You've tied the knot, things can change. It's just as much as a risk for younger people as it is for those who make the decision much later because of the amount of experience they're unlikely to have at such at age, and how difficult it is more likely to be for them to keep up a steady lifestyle because they are at that age, and it isn't only just about conveniences such as living and dealing with accommodation, it's about making sure this is not some fly by night Broadway romance. Granted, love shouldn't have many boundaries, but it's better to think more deeply about what you're going to get into and assure with your partner whether or not it's the right thing to do.

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Zet

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Posted May 16th, 2020
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Ahaha, if I had a penny for every time some lovey-dovey couple said that to me, I'd be one heck of a millionaire.

Incidentally, marriage is no topic one can juggle lightly. Remember, if you agree to marrying one another, you must take into mind that you will be waking up to the very same person every single day for the rest of your life. You've tied the knot, things can change. It's just as much as a risk for younger people as it is for those who make the decision much later because of the amount of experience they're unlikely to have at such at age, and how difficult it is more likely to be for them to keep up a steady lifestyle because they are at that age. Granted, love shouldn't have many boundaries, but it's better to think more deeply about what you're going to get into and assure with your partner whether or not it's the right thing to do.
And then women created the divorce system to take everything away from their husband.... I mean ex-husband

Yusshin

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Ahaha, if I had a penny for every time some lovey-dovey couple said that to me, I'd be one heck of a millionaire.

Incidentally, marriage is no topic one can juggle lightly. Remember, if you agree to marrying one another, you must take into mind that you will be waking up to the very same person every single night for the rest of your life. You've tied the knot, things can change. It's just as much as a risk for younger people as it is for those who make the decision much later because of the amount of experience they're unlikely to have at such at age, and how difficult it is more likely to be for them to keep up a steady lifestyle because they are at that age. Granted, love shouldn't have many boundaries, but it's better to think more deeply about what you're going to get into and assure with your partner whether or not it's the right thing to do.
I'd be rich, too, since people don't take marriage seriously anymore. It's merely something you "throw yourself into" after knowing each other for less than a year.

In this case, we met in January 2007, got together in August 2007, and this year will be our 3rd anniversary. We're a "rare" find, if you want, since we both don't believe in strip clubs, bars, drinking, drugs, disloyalty, looking at others of the opposite sex "in that way", going out with friends without the other partner tagging along... Loyalty, respect, and honesty are the top things that found our relationship. Sure, we get into misunderstandings sometimes, but we never sleep or go out or do stupid things when it happens. We calm down and fix it. Simple as that. No drama, no phoning up friends to bish about it "for fun". Nothing like that. After living with each other for over a year, it was great, regardless financial difficulties since I didn't have a SIN Card and my fiance was the only one capable of working. Two peas in a pod are we :] We don't even separate money; what we make is "ours" and is located in a joint bank account.

In our case, I do believe it's fine that we marry when I'm 18 and he's 25, since we've never run into any problems, and we always have each other's back. Never once have we threatened to "leave one another" if something bad occurs, and never once have we ever said "I wish I was with someone else" or something silly like that. I don't mind waking up to him everyday for the rest of my life; he's my sweetpea who cuddles with me and sings me to sleep.

For people who don't share such a type of relationship, though, I do believe they should wait :s Marriage is, like we've all confirmed so far, not something you toy with. It's a very holy, intimate thing, and I firmly believe once you marry a single time, it's not good to marry after a divorce. It'll just end up being a silly cycle.

Izanagi:

In the time of the Qu'ran, merely living together was a signification of being married. We look at it as already being married, but being incapable of acquiring the legal papers for it. In religion, though, we're technically married. It's only fanatics that demand for papers and whatnaught, unless the couple living together aren't as loyal and true as a couple is supposed to be (i.e. one's bound to cheat on the other). Then that's a problem; however, in this case, it's permissible.


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Infernape

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I think the age is fine as it is. I've been with my Significant other for 4 years. I didn't propose to her until last month, I know it is a huge step. She's 22 and people say we're too young. We have our own house and are fairly stable with money (who is nowadays?) And I couldn't ever imagine my life without her. I'll give that 16 is a little young to be thinking about marriage, there are definitaly more important things to think about than that. You have to really sit and think about things. Can you honestly deal with living with that person forever? Can you protect them? Can you provide for them? Are you two able to actually exist together and make a family without fighting everyday?

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Make it the same as drinking. 21 to get drank and get hitched. Sounds good to me.

Also, I'll just pretend I have the time to type up something as long and truthful as Signomi before I leave for school.

going out with friends without the other partner tagging along

-I have to say, it sounded fine until you said that. You give the impression you never go out with friends without him tagging along, and vice versa. Am I correct?

Yusshin

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Wait, you've been living together for 2 years, and he's 25 right now? Pedophillia much?
Uhm, pedophilia is the sexual attraction to children. He would be a pedophile if I were 11, even 12. I'm almost 18. A 32-year-old attracted to a 17-year-old would be disgusting, but in this case, it's perfectly fine. After all, when he's 40, I'll be 33. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?

xJordan360:

Normally, yes, we go everywhere together, since we find it more fun to always be beside each other. It's not a "trust" issue. We don't have friends of the opposite sex after all. Sometimes he'll go out with a male friend of his, but generally I go with him. It's a mutual thing.


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Zet

Age 33
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Wait, you've been living together for 2 years, and he's 25 right now? Pedophillia much?
When she turned 16 it became cradle snatching.

But if I was to be in a long relationship like yours Yusshin, it would be the care free kind, we can hang out with who we want to hang out and still make time for each other. So you and your fiance really need to ease up on some stuff and not believing in strip clubs, drinking, etc won't make them go away any time soon XP
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I think the age is fine as it is. I've been with my Significant other for 4 years. I didn't propose to her until last month, I know it is a huge step. She's 22 and people say we're too young. We have our own house and are fairly stable with money (who is nowadays?) And I couldn't ever imagine my life without her. I'll give that 16 is a little young to be thinking about marriage, there are definitaly more important things to think about than that. You have to really sit and think about things. Can you honestly deal with living with that person forever? Can you protect them? Can you provide for them? Are you two able to actually exist together and make a family without fighting everyday?
She's 22. You're 16.

You've been with her for four years...?

brb, math

When you started dating, you were 12, and she was 18 WUT?


Sidenote, on pedophilia, incorrect. It is not pedophilia, it is ephebophilia.

Ho-Oh

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..Either way, I still think Yusshin should wait a few years before marriage. The age difference just doesn't seem right in this case. Shouldn't need to rush.

Yusshin

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Legally, it's pedofillia for a 16 year old to have relations with a 23 year old.
Unless the parents are fine with it.

My parents were fine with it. A 16-year-old and a 23-year-old doesn't happen often, but in this case, anyone under 19 I deemed immature and disgusting. I don't believe in dating in highschool. I don't believe in sexual affairs with more than one person in a lifetime. It's very sacred; age is but a number, unless it becomes extreme, like 25 and 12. That's just wrong. 16 and 23 is fine, though, and although a lot of people would disagree, many would agree, too.

I'm 17 currently; he's 24. He'll be 25 in June, and I, 18 in October. There's certainly nothing wrong with that.

Zettu:

It's a serious relationship; we don't find strip clubs or bars "thrilling" or "fun". Our values are against it. A nice movie or a walk is much more fun :]

Forever:

I don't see why one should wait; we'll get married eventually, and that's a fact. Why wait until 22 when we can just do it when I turn 18? It's not "rushing"; it's merely getting something that's inevitable out of the way.

I think you're under-estimating the perfection of our togetherness :< but it's to be expected, since not many couples like us exist anymore. We're very "old-fashioned" with our values and morals, and that's what really helps to perfect us.


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..Either way, I still think Yusshin should wait a few years before marriage. The age difference just doesn't seem right in this case. Shouldn't need to rush.
You're signature discredits the validity of your post ;]
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That's an interesting concept--I never really put much thought into it until I read this.
It's hard for me to say whether it would be good or not to raise the age...
I am inclined to say "yes" for obvious maturity reasons, although I do know people who were married very very young (at 18) and have had stayed married and have had good marriages, but that's exceedingly rare (the rest don't end as well--foolishness, I say) as far as I know, so I see no harm in raising the limit.

I think it would be a good thing, in fact--maybe it would lower the divorce rate in the U.S. And it would do no harm--if a couple truly are in love, then what's the harm in waiting? They can move in together and all the rest...
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Ho-Oh

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Forever:

I don't see why one should wait; we'll get married eventually, and that's a fact. Why wait until 22 when we can just do it when I turn 18? It's not "rushing"; it's merely getting something that's inevitable out of the way.

I think you're under-estimating the perfection of our togetherness :< but it's to be expected, since not many couples like us exist anymore.
I understand what you mean, but still. That'll equal society judging you, if you really care, waiting a few years, so that people can appreciate how in love you two are is good.

You're signature discredits the validity of your post ;]
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