Should the legal age for marriage be raised? Page 2

Started by Ho-Oh April 22nd, 2010 5:53 AM
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Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
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I understand what you mean, but still. That'll equal society judging you, if you really care, waiting a few years, so that people can appreciate how in love you two are is good.
I don't really bother to see how others view us, though. If they like us together, that's great; if not, oh well. My parents, for example, are fine with the matter, but they don't like my fiance at all. They wouldn't do anything to him, though, since they respect my decision. All of our friends are awe-struck as well by the fact that we're very, very different from the "standard" couple of today. It's apparent that we have something special that only exists in one in a million people. I don't care if people judge me or him. Their judging is just a way for them to feel at ease with the situation; I could really care less about what they have to say about it, unless I'm in danger in some way and I don't see it. In this case, there's absolutely no harm. We have goals and we have each other. That's all that really matters in the end - not what others have to say about it.

Izanagi:

Actually, it's not, unless the parents object. Maybe in American Law, but not Canadian - and I live in Canada.

15 and 22 is 100% illegal; 16 and 23 is not, unless the parents object. At 18, there is no limit, although more than 12 years difference is what I call "icky".

I do believe you need to stop referring to age, though. A 16-year-old girl is maturer than a 19-year-old boy, if the girl is at least somewhat intelligent and not brainwashed by clothing fads. Age is only a number; it does not rate maturity level.

Speaking of maturity level, marriage should be based on that and not age. There are some 18-year-old quackjobs out there, and some really, really mature 17-year-olds. Although it would be difficult to go by maturity (and thus why age is used instead), that would definitely be a better way of determining when someone is mentally "ready" for marriage.


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Age 27
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I just realized you're from Canadia. Legally, my mistake, but I still disagree with your opinion. Including the 16 year old girls being more mature than 19 year old boys. I'm more mature than alot of people I know, especially teenage girls.

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Ho-Oh

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Good points, but still, if the age were raised, then those, such as yourself, who wish to be married now... can be better reassured that the decision is right?

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
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Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
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It applies to men as well, not just girls - although it is a fact that girls mature faster than boys do, and not just physically (that's why you always see little 10-year-olds with "crushes" and boys don't reach that until around 14 or 15).

It really depends on the individual.

Forever:

I don't understand :s Can you rephrase that?


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Shiny

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Nica, that's the chance you take with love, my parents have only dated each other, no one else and they've been married for 27 happy years.

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
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Seen May 13th, 2013
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Nica, that's the chance you take with love, my parents have only dated each other, no one else and they've been married for 27 happy years.
That's really awesome. You don't see that often, really. I'm in the same boat as them, though (the "love" boat? lol!)

[Edit]

I took the time to edit this because that joke up there ^ was really corny.

You know what? I completely spaced on something!

I had this question in my law homework last week! You know what I answered?

People should know each other for at least three years and be living together everyday for at least two years in order to be valid for marriage. This allows couples to experience tough situations and view how their partner would respond, and it would also determine whether or not they remain stable and non-abusive, loyal, respectful, etc. in such a living condition.

I don't really mind age; like said, maturity is moreso the factor here and it ranges dramatically from person to person. I'm moreso concerned with those who jump into a marriage thinking they love each other to death, and then six months later, they divorce. I'd prefer to prevent those divorces due to "surprises" and unseen situations by putting people in such testing, tough situations before any papers are signed. Guaranteed that less divorces would occur if that were to exist :|


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Ryoutarou

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Yusshin, I don't quite think I agree with everything you've said, though I do agree with a good deal of it, I really do like how you're able to stick to your guns on what you believe when it comes to something so out there.

I've never been a fan of mandating ages to when a person can do something or is legally considered an adult. In the U.S., if you're 18, you're old enough to sign up for armed services and face death, yet you aren't quite old enough to drink an alcoholic beverage. Now, does that actually make sense? Maturity comes with experience, not age, and different people will take in experiences in vastly different ways. So if there really must be an age to where person is considered an adult, they should be legally within their rights to do whatever they want with their lives, marriage included.

16/17 is...a little young, I would say, but again, people view certain experiences in different manners, so it's very likely to have a 16 year old who is more stable than someone twice the age. If you feel that you're truly ready to get married, then go for it, nothing should stand in the way of your happiness, certainly not what society thinks of you. Of course...this also means that if you believe you're ready for marriage, you're ready to live on your own as a couple, pay your own bills, and generally take care of yourselves. Wording this part is a little tricky, but I...generally think one doesn't need to live a materially comfortable life in that aspect. If you have somewhere to live, that's really all that should matter in my opinion. I've always found it odd when people say a person's financial status is...not so much of a reason as to why they would marry, but an indicator that the person is mature and responsible. It most certainly is not and should have no play in your decision to get married, one of the most common wedding vows out there is that you promise to love your partner within richness and poorness. You strive to provide each other a good life because you want your partner to be comfortable, but it isn't the reason you marry one another, you do that because you want to be there next to that person, spending every moment you can with them, because you love them.

Of course I certainly don't think every person who looks at their relationship lightly and says "Yup, I'm ready!" is ready, they do need to examine every aspect of the relationship carefully before they do anything else. If after all of that, they truly do believe marriage is for them, then I say go for it.

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
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13.8 Years
I completely agree with you Ryoutarou; I'm sure you'd approve if you saw a video of everything we've already been through as a couple and still are as fine and dandy as ever o-o (i.e. eviction, being suddenly jobless, parents that really don't approve (mine because he's arab; his because I'm not 18 yet - my dad likes to refer to him as "that terrorist guy" ><), hunger, separation for a year, etc.)

<3 He's still mah sweetpea.

Totally 100% agree with the maturity thing, and the army vs. alcohol ordeal is dumb :s although in Canada, you can drink at 18/19 pending the province.


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Didn't read the other posts because there's a lot and I just wanted to get straight to the main points.
No, I don't think it should be raised. There's nothing wrong with two people loving each other and wanting to share that love with their closest family and friends. In the UK the legal age for sex is 16, and the legal age for marriage (With parental consent) is 16. My cousin got married at 17/18, and his wife was pregnant at the time and they have no problems and love each other a lot.

To be honest, if my boyfriend proposed to me, I would say yes right now because we're in the sort of relationship where you know you're going to be together for life, or at least a very long time.
Age plays no part in love, maturity is what it's about. You can be 30 and still as immature as a teenager, or 14 and as mature as an adult. It's all about different personalities and the way different peoples mind works. I don't think anything like this should be changed, it just doesn't seem fair that people should wait till their in their 20's to get married. I mean, my parents were together at 16/17, had their first child at 18/19 and got married around 20. They're still together nearly 20 years later. I see no reason why it should be increased, as many people do not get married so young.

Pazuru

★ [ Fukidokuritsu ]

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Seen January 29th, 2013
Posted September 27th, 2012
137 posts
13.4 Years
I'm too lazy to read the other points, but I just wanted to say that perhaps raising it to 21 might be a good thing. 18 might be good to some others, but think about it. It's almost saying 'I'M AN ADULT OKAY TIME TO GET MARRIED', when you should probably learn how to be an adult (taxes, being able to keep up with money) before getting married, eventually having kids, and such. I don't want to marry at 18, and then be in big trouble money wise because I wasn't money-stable or anything.
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the double-edged sword, the mirror and stone
London, UK
Seen January 24th, 2011
Posted May 18th, 2010
98 posts
13.1 Years
I'm too lazy to read the other points, but I just wanted to say that perhaps raising it to 21 might be a good thing. 18 might be good to some others, but think about it. It's almost saying 'I'M AN ADULT OKAY TIME TO GET MARRIED', when you should probably learn how to be an adult (taxes, being able to keep up with money) before getting married, eventually having kids, and such. I don't want to marry at 18, and then be in big trouble money wise because I wasn't money-stable or anything.
My boyfriend is 17, 18 next month, and has already been dealing with Tax, money issues and rent to his parents, so he's pretty good with money.

It depends on the people entirely.

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
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Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
I'm too lazy to read the other points, but I just wanted to say that perhaps raising it to 21 might be a good thing. 18 might be good to some others, but think about it. It's almost saying 'I'M AN ADULT OKAY TIME TO GET MARRIED', when you should probably learn how to be an adult (taxes, being able to keep up with money) before getting married, eventually having kids, and such. I don't want to marry at 18, and then be in big trouble money wise because I wasn't money-stable or anything.
If someone experienced that first-hand for over a year while living with their partner, you'd approve, correct? For example, if you're 16 living with "that person" until 18 and supporting yourselves for two years, how would you feel about that?

Just wanting to see if we're on the same page :P


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Esper

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I'd say generally when you (hypothetical you - not singling anyone out) are legally an adult you should be free to do anything adults can do legally. If you get married too soon and it doesn't work out then that's what divorce is for. Hopefully you haven't brought children into the mix, but if you think you're ready for marriage then you have to be willing to take on any responsibilities that might come your way.

Personally I'd like to see people waiting to get married, but I'm not going to tell them they shouldn't solely because of their age.

Pazuru

★ [ Fukidokuritsu ]

Male
Seen January 29th, 2013
Posted September 27th, 2012
137 posts
13.4 Years


If someone experienced that first-hand for over a year while living with their partner, you'd approve, correct? For example, if you're 16 living with "that person" until 18 and supporting yourselves for two years, how would you feel about that?

Just wanting to see if we're on the same page :P
If you've already been financially stable for a few years, and have already been in doing taxes, and all other things that adults must do for several years, then I don't see a problem with it. The problem I have is people entering '18' the adult world and getting married before getting financially stable and knowing the adult responsibilities you now have.
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Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
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Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
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13.8 Years


If you've already been financially stable for a few years, and have already been in doing taxes, and all other things that adults must do for several years, then I don't see a problem with it. The problem I have is people entering '18' the adult world and getting married before getting financially stable and knowing the adult responsibilities you now have.
Yeah, exactly why I answered in my law homework that the minimum amount of time together in the same household before allowing to become married should be two years xD so you experience this stuff and know how your partner is going to react to certain situations.

Someone you know might react shockingly to pressure and other bad situations :s They might also be terrible with cash. Who knows? Ya need to be together a long time in the same place first to know.


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Pazuru

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Posted September 27th, 2012
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Yeah, exactly why I answered in my law homework that the minimum amount of time together in the same household before allowing to become married should be two years xD so you experience this stuff and know how your partner is going to react to certain situations.

Someone you know might react shockingly to pressure and other bad situations :s They might also be terrible with cash. Who knows? Ya need to be together a long time in the same place first to know.
Exactly. Even if you may know that person for years. Being with them 'together' is not the same as actually living together. You can be with someone for years, but the moment you live with them things so downhill. I'll agree that there should be some minimum amount living together before considering such an important step.

/is not a romantic person, so would want to make sure if her partner can handle not being romantic every single second before even thinking on something such a serious as marriage.
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Yusshin

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Not always, though. Sometimes, living together goes really smoothly. There are some issues here and there, but they're generally small and resolved quickly - if not, there's some problems with the relationship :\


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Pazuru

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Posted September 27th, 2012
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Not always, though. Sometimes, living together goes really smoothly. There are some issues here and there, but they're generally small and resolved quickly - if not, there's some problems with the relationship :\
And that is when it's safe to take the next step. But if you start living together and nothing happens but constant whining, arguments, and other such things, then it's time to quit. Living together is... kind of like a test as to see if you really should get together 'forever'.
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Timbjerr

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Posted January 28th, 2016
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19.7 Years
I'm a 22-year-old loner and am seeking neither love or sex at this time in my life, so take my post with a grain of salt if you will due to lack of any experience whatsoever in the field. XD

I have a couple of friends who fell in love in high school and proceeded to marry at the young age of 18-21. I rarely keep in touch with them, but whenever I do hear from them, it's obvious that they're still deeply in love and happy together.

I have a cousin who is the same age as me who just got married last weekend to her long-time boyfriend and the love they showed for eachother in their eyes was about as genuine as you can get, even though they've been through a lot...having a kid, him losing his job, her having to drop out of school...etc...

The point is, when marriage is done out of love, regardless of age, it is sure to be everlasting. A more tragic example would be my parents. They married rather young (my mom was 23 and my dad was 26), but they loved eachother. Fast-forward twenty-four years, and they've divorced for their own personal reasons and my mother moved to California and my father is in jail, but whenever I communicate with either of them, they will tell me that they've "found themselves" and realized how much they still love the other...fully intending to resume married life after this situation is behind them. Even though they divorced two years ago, they will still refer to the other as their spouse. XD

Yusshin

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That's nice Timbjerr :D It's nice to see happy couples everywhere. I don't see'em often enough; my small city of birth is filled with teenaged mothers and junkies :\ and tons of drama. Tons. My mother's side of the family is famous in-town for being troublemakers and druggies.


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Pazuru

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Posted September 27th, 2012
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My parents seem to have a good relation until a few years ago, but after hearing their backstory they never really loved eachother - they only married for the sake of [coughmecough]. It's probably where I'm getting half of what I think now, because I don't want to make the same mistake.
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Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
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13.8 Years
My parents seem to have a good relation until a few years ago, but after hearing their backstory they never really loved eachother - they only married for the sake of [coughmecough]. It's probably where I'm getting half of what I think now, because I don't want to make the same mistake.
No offence to you xD since you seem like a good addition to society, but why did they have a kid if they didn't love each other o0 Perhaps that's my "sexual affairs with only one person in a life-time since it's very, very important and sacred" value talking, but I don't get it o-o


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I know I want Yusshin. And this is only my second day here!
I think love shouldn't have an age tbh.
11 and a 68 year old.....ohhh such ripe summer romance.....bleh
24 characters in post, 25 character bypass warning. BinaryPeaches = master troll.