Should the legal age for marriage be raised? Page 3

Started by Ho-Oh April 22nd, 2010 5:53 AM
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Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
11 and a 68 year old.....ohhh such ripe summer romance.....bleh
Well, that's just abused lol I think Reginal was speaking a bit more... less than 12-years apart after age 30... y...

>>;

and I'm nothin' special :P no one lost out.


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Seen January 24th, 2011
Posted May 18th, 2010
98 posts
13.1 Years
Yeah, I mean my boyfriend's parents have like, a 15 year age gap, and they're fine. They've been married for like 20 years or something, and their in their 50's and 60's.

I see no problem with marriage at any age really as long as the couple are smart about it, actually in love and DO want to be together forever. Plus, I don't see people as genders or ages really, so I don't see the problem with an 18 year old marrying or gay marriage or anything.

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
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New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
My answer might be biased, since I'm with the girl of my dreams, just so you know.


No, I think 18 is perfectly fine. 25 is a long while if your sure that your with that special someone, and I personally would hate to wait.
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Regarding Yusshin, one must also take into account her religion before calling "pedo" and "too young to marry." I'm assuming that from the mentioning of Allah in her signature that she's Muslim, or some denomination of the Islamic religion. I'm almost certain that their are several occasions where men would marry and divorce girls who were not yet at the age of sexual maturity in the Qur'an (And this is an extreme, making her relationship much more "normal" by comparison). Before you judge her relationship, understand that her religious values are slightly different than the generic Christian American values many of us were taught. Many wouldn't bat an eyelash at the age difference in traditional Muslim societies.

And my comment wasn't intended as offensive. I know people get touchy when religion is thrown into a conversation. I myself am Roman Catholic, but I make it a point to research other faiths in depth. I'm not a blind follower, and it's nice to get a different perspective every once in a while.
Male
Radiant Garden
Seen September 18th, 2010
Posted April 23rd, 2010
24 posts
13.3 Years
I think 18 isn't the right age. It's too young, it's the age of actually stepping out into the world. I'm 19, and I'm not even close to being ready to take that step, sure I want to get married, but when i feel like I'm ready, and the girl is ready. 18 seems too young for my book.

Age 31
Male
Brazil
Seen March 15th, 2014
Posted March 12th, 2013
346 posts
13.2 Years


Unless the parents are fine with it.

My parents were fine with it. A 16-year-old and a 23-year-old doesn't happen often, but in this case, anyone under 19 I deemed immature and disgusting. I don't believe in dating in highschool. I don't believe in sexual affairs with more than one person in a lifetime. It's very sacred; age is but a number, unless it becomes extreme, like 25 and 12. That's just wrong. 16 and 23 is fine, though, and although a lot of people would disagree, many would agree, too.

I'm 17 currently; he's 24. He'll be 25 in June, and I, 18 in October. There's certainly nothing wrong with that.

Zettu:

It's a serious relationship; we don't find strip clubs or bars "thrilling" or "fun". Our values are against it. A nice movie or a walk is much more fun :]

Forever:

I don't see why one should wait; we'll get married eventually, and that's a fact. Why wait until 22 when we can just do it when I turn 18? It's not "rushing"; it's merely getting something that's inevitable out of the way.

I think you're under-estimating the perfection of our togetherness :< but it's to be expected, since not many couples like us exist anymore. We're very "old-fashioned" with our values and morals, and that's what really helps to perfect us.
I'm sorry to say, but you're still a girl. So many things may change in your mind as you grow up.


I'm not against the RIGHT of getting married once you are older than 18, but I would highly suggest anyone not to.

Pazuru

★ [ Fukidokuritsu ]

Male
Seen January 29th, 2013
Posted September 27th, 2012
137 posts
13.4 Years


No offence to you xD since you seem like a good addition to society, but why did they have a kid if they didn't love each other o0 Perhaps that's my "sexual affairs with only one person in a life-time since it's very, very important and sacred" value talking, but I don't get it o-o
Oh, they loved eachother, but I don't think they both loved eachother enough to actually get married other than for my sake. (let's say I was an accident? XD ). In fact my parents had an argument right before I was born, so my dad isn't even listed as my dad on my Birth Certificate.
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Posted May 21st, 2010
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13.1 Years
Getting married young is fine if your prepared to get married financially and mentally but lets face it, what 18 year old owns his/her own company, or is starting a career and can support there spouse and kids if need be. It just wouldn't make sense for some people to get married so young. Would an 18 year old really want to spend the rest of their living years with one person. This is probably why divorce is almost certain these days. It's like people now get married with the expectation of getting divorced it's ridiculous.
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Johto
Seen January 27th, 2016
Posted January 27th, 2016
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14.4 Years
She's 22. You're 16.

You've been with her for four years...?

brb, math

When you started dating, you were 12, and she was 18 WUT?


Sidenote, on pedophilia, incorrect. It is not pedophilia, it is ephebophilia.
What? I'm 20, I'll be 21 saturday. I was saying 16 is too young to be thinking about marrage

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Nick

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Posted July 28th, 2021
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18.6 Years
I don't like how one is considered an adult in the United States at the age of 18. In other parts of the world, one is considered an adult at a younger age than that. 18 years old seems too young to become an adult, and I disagree with some rights be given to someone when they turn 18 and the other rights given to them three years later. I think all legal rights, and the classification of being an adult should be granted to someone on their 21st birthday. But that's just my opinion on the matter.

Ho-Oh

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Age 31
Female
QLD, Australia
Seen June 5th, 2022
Posted April 23rd, 2022
35,988 posts
17.5 Years
...I have no clue whether I multiquoted in the right order buuut...

Also; people mentioned 21, which seems also reasonable imo.

If someone experienced that first-hand for over a year while living with their partner, you'd approve, correct? For example, if you're 16 living with "that person" until 18 and supporting yourselves for two years, how would you feel about that?
Living together for two years shouldn't express an entire future together.

Exactly. Even if you may know that person for years. Being with them 'together' is not the same as actually living together. You can be with someone for years, but the moment you live with them things so downhill. I'll agree that there should be some minimum amount living together before considering such an important step.
So that could somehow be brought into the marriage laws?

Not always, though. Sometimes, living together goes really smoothly. There are some issues here and there, but they're generally small and resolved quickly - if not, there's some problems with the relationship :\
Question, what do you classify as "small"?

No offence to you xD since you seem like a good addition to society, but why did they have a kid if they didn't love each other o0 Perhaps that's my "sexual affairs with only one person in a life-time since it's very, very important and sacred" value talking, but I don't get it o-o
People have kids for all sorts of reasons now, really. :(

I think love shouldn't have an age tbh.
This isn't directly love we're talking about, it's marriage. You can still love someone at any age.

No, I think 18 is perfectly fine. 25 is a long while if your sure that your with that special someone, and I personally would hate to wait.
Waiting makes it more enjoyable?

Getting married young is fine if your prepared to get married financially and mentally but lets face it, what 18 year old owns his/her own company, or is starting a career and can support there spouse and kids if need be. It just wouldn't make sense for some people to get married so young. Would an 18 year old really want to spend the rest of their living years with one person. This is probably why divorce is almost certain these days. It's like people now get married with the expectation of getting divorced it's ridiculous.
Wait, 18 year olds owning companies? But I agree with the other points, which is why... when it comes to marriage, I guess children can feel emotion for the opposite sex at five or six or something, then decide they want to be together then... and grow up and it all just ends up weird. Idk why I brought in children, but really, 18 is still a child/teenager imo.

And yeah, doesn't divorce cost a lot too? Better to wait a few years than waste all that money in the long run.

No, I think many marriages fail between older couples, too, so raising an age limit wouldn't benefit anyone... especially not to 25. That's a little over the top, don't you think?
It's not over the top, it's just allowing younger couples to get their priorities straight.

Cherrim

Age 34
she / her
Toronto
Seen 20 Hours Ago
Posted 20 Hours Ago
33,052 posts
20.4 Years
I agree with everyone who says rights should come at the same time. It makes no sense to me that I can get married at 18 but I can't drink until 19. (It's even worse in the States. :s) Now, I don't necessarily agree that people should be married that early. Society has changed enough that I don't think people are quite ready for something like marriage right out of high school (and most people are around 17/18 when they get out of secondary education). Something so legally binding like marriage should be something you get into once you're older, more mature, and ready to take on the responsibilities associated with it.

That's not to say that there will be some people "ahead of their time" who are more than ready to take marriage seriously at a young age, but honestly, they're few and far between. (And I feel that since so few are "ready" at that age, those who are should have to wait for the majority to catch up in maturity.) When I think of the people I graduated high school with, I'm not even sure I can think of any who, in my eyes, would be ready for marriage--and that's pretty much the legal age we're looking at here. I just think nowadays, people take a bit longer to enter the "real world" and need more time to adjust to how adult life works before they strike out on their own with a partner. The divorce rate is ridiculous now compared to before. I actually know a fair few people who have seriously considered marriage and when I bring up the fact that it might be "too soon" to judge whether it'd be successful or not, it's surprising how many say "well, if it doesn't work out, there's always divorce!" I'm not a romantic person in the least but I really don't think divorce should be a way to cop out if you make a bunch of bad decisions earlier in life. I'd rather people take their time and be absolutely sure of their decisions before making them but I know that'll never happen. 9_9

Er, I think I'm losing my point. Basically, while I do think 18 is too young to be married, it's the age of adulthood and so long as other adult rights are conferred at that point, marriage should be granted too. I wouldn't mind bumping all that stuff up to 19, but that doesn't seem much better in my eyes so I don't think it would make enough of a difference to bother with. 21 sounds like a better age for it but I couldn't stick to supporting it as the "adult" age because waiting until 21 to drink and whatnot sounds really annoying. :s So might as well just leave it as-is.


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Ho-Oh

used Sacred Fire!

Age 31
Female
QLD, Australia
Seen June 5th, 2022
Posted April 23rd, 2022
35,988 posts
17.5 Years
Er, I think I'm losing my point. Basically, while I do think 18 is too young to be married, it's the age of adulthood and so long as other adult rights are conferred at that point, marriage should be granted too. I wouldn't mind bumping all that stuff up to 19, but that doesn't seem much better in my eyes so I don't think it would make enough of a difference to bother with. 21 sounds like a better age for it but I couldn't stick to supporting it as the "adult" age because waiting until 21 to drink and whatnot sounds really annoying. :s So might as well just leave it as-is.
19... one year wouldn't really make a difference. XD;

I don't care. I wouldn't get married anyway. I have not ever met a girl who does not look and act like a swine.
What the hell? Your view of females is terrible. You should really change that.

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
Living together for two years shouldn't express an entire future together.
It does give an all-right idea beforehand, though, so you can see how it goes. The only way to mess the results of that would be to never become angry or just completely avoid each other during that two-year period. I think in two years, though, you would confront a decent amount of situations that would be important to experience before marriage. It really depends on what happens to the couple, since it can be different from one person to the next. The goal of two years isn't to determine that the future will always be rainbow and sunshines, but it is to determine compatibility in the same living environment. I've known happy couples who get married and, three months living together, one of them becomes abusive. No one saw it coming. I'm talking about the two-year requirement determining those kinds of factors - not happiness.

Question, what do you classify as "small"?
Small disputes, like if one were to wear something that the other didn't like, and the victim gets angry about it and an argument starts. Another example would be if you spend too much time on something else and you don't acknowledge the other enough. Easy things that can be resolved and shouldn't break out in name-calling or anything like that.

"Big" would be going to a place or out with someone when you know that the other person doesn't like it, yet you disrespect them and do it anyway. That would be not acknowleging that sacrifices come with being together, and merely getting caught up in your selfish desires.

Not a lot of people jump into marriage at 18 anyway, unless a baby's on the line. I see most people getting married around 22.

Regarding Yusshin, one must also take into account her religion before calling "pedo" and "too young to marry." I'm assuming that from the mentioning of Allah in her signature that she's Muslim, or some denomination of the Islamic religion. I'm almost certain that their are several occasions where men would marry and divorce girls who were not yet at the age of sexual maturity in the Qur'an (And this is an extreme, making her relationship much more "normal" by comparison). Before you judge her relationship, understand that her religious values are slightly different than the generic Christian American values many of us were taught. Many wouldn't bat an eyelash at the age difference in traditional Muslim societies.
I can't remember who said this, but most people marry over 16 in Islam, too. It's generally in the Middle-East (i.e. Saudi Arabia) that children are married under that age, and it's still rare.

I was raised a Christian and became Muslim earlier this year, so the fact I'm a Muslim now has no effect whatsoever on the relationship I'm currently in. I was Christian when I got together with that person, and I converted three years after knowing him. His parents don't approve of the age difference, and they're hardcore Muslims, so mentioning Islam having some sort of "influence" on the situation is really off-topic. As a Christian, I believed that the age difference was fine. Both his and my parents didn't approve, and that's from both a Christian (me) and a Muslim (him) background. They found it too much of a gap, and I always fought with my parents and him with his that it's fine because maturity-wise, we're at the same level. They, of course, are pretty set on the calculation that age = everything, when it's really not.

And I'd like to throw in that it was normal for 40-year-old Christian males to marry 13-year-olds in the 1800s. It's not just in Muslim places that that occured. People like to omit that fact and use it to bash on Islam, and I don't like that very much. On a side-note, in the time of the Qu'ran and the Bible, it was normal to marry girls once they became mature (menstruation). A girl was never married before she hit that age of maturity. Generally, in this time, girls menstruated around the age of 14. It's just nowadays that it's dropped to around 10, because of all the fatty foods and whatnaught that tricks the female body into thinking they have the right amount of fat and height ratio to produce offspring.

A 23-year-old with a 12-year-old is a pedophile. A 17-year-old and a 24-year-old doesn't classify by Canadian Law. Nothing to do with Islam. At all.


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Ho-Oh

used Sacred Fire!

Age 31
Female
QLD, Australia
Seen June 5th, 2022
Posted April 23rd, 2022
35,988 posts
17.5 Years
Not a lot of people jump into marriage at 18 anyway, unless a baby's on the line. I see most people getting married around 22.
...Wait what I thought you were getting married at 18?

And I dunno, I think other people get married at 18 just because they can, rather than because of a baby. :(
Male
Seen August 18th, 2010
Posted May 11th, 2010
54 posts
13.1 Years


Uhm, pedophilia is the sexual attraction to children. He would be a pedophile if I were 11, even 12. I'm almost 18. A 32-year-old attracted to a 17-year-old would be disgusting, but in this case, it's perfectly fine. After all, when he's 40, I'll be 33. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?

xJordan360:

Normally, yes, we go everywhere together, since we find it more fun to always be beside each other. It's not a "trust" issue. We don't have friends of the opposite sex after all. Sometimes he'll go out with a male friend of his, but generally I go with him. It's a mutual thing.
That's hebephilia and it's still generally not accepted. Also, with the age difference it is very borderline pedophilia. Let me put it this way, I'm assuming he's seven years older than you as you said when he is 40 you will be 33. When he was 15 you were 8. Eight. Fifteen to eight. Do you remember when you were 15? Can you imagine having a commitment based relationship with someone who is eight? Seven year age difference is very high, and outside of the wealthy is generally frowned upon, more-so if the two are both under the age of 21 when the two start the relationship. In the United States it is very common for any male over the age of 18 who is seeing anyone 16 and younger publicly to be placed on Child Molestation watches. He most likely is.

This isn't really my business, but I felt it'd be nice to share some of the things I've learned in my line of work.

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
That's very insulting, SalemGreen. I'd like to point out that 15 and 8 is entirely different than 24 and 17, and you're on the boarderline of ignorance (or stupidity, I'm not sure) to even compare the two. Obviously a 15-year-old isn't going to do anything with an 8-year-old, but a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old is an entirely different page, just as a 40-year-old and a 33-year-old are different, too.

How can you even compare 15-8 with 25-18? That's absolutely ridiculous and extreme. 25-18 is entirely different than 15-8 in terms of maturity and many other things. Seriously.

I'm surprised anyone would even mention that. It seems really, really obvious that those ages are entirely different :\ Not to mention, I'd have found that cute if I was a baby and my fiance held me when he was seven. It never happened, no, because he lived 600km away, but I'd have found that adorable.


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Seen August 18th, 2010
Posted May 11th, 2010
54 posts
13.1 Years
That's very insulting, SalemGreen. I'd like to point out that 15 and 8 is entirely different than 24 and 17, and you're on the boarderline of ignorance (or stupidity, I'm not sure) to even compare the two. Obviously a 15-year-old isn't going to do anything with an 8-year-old, but a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old is an entirely different page, just as a 40-year-old and a 33-year-old are different, too.

How can you even compare 15-8 with 25-18? That's absolutely ridiculous and extreme. 25-18 is entirely different than 15-8 in terms of maturity and many other things. Seriously.

I'm surprised anyone would even mention that. It seems really, really obvious that those ages are entirely different :\ Not to mention, I'd have found that cute if I was a baby and my fiance held me when he was seven. It never happened, no, because he lived 600km away, but I'd have found that adorable.
Careful with the attacks there, miss. No need to be so rude or violent. Everything I stated was simply fact in the eyes of law for the sake of education and your guys argument. I'm not taking any sides here. Although, numerically the difference between the age I mentioned and the age you mentioned are literally identical. As far as maturity, I think your last post speaks loads on if you're mature enough to get married.

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
Careful with the attacks there, miss. No need to be so rude or violent. Everything I stated was simply fact in the eyes of law for the sake of education and your guys argument. I'm not taking any sides here. Although, numerically the difference between the age I mentioned and the age you mentioned are literally identical. As far as maturity, I think your last post speaks loads on if you're mature enough to get married.
There's nothing wrong with getting defensive when someone tries to claim that another person's a child molestor without any basis. I'd be a bit concerned if a woman didn't defend her man if he was being attacked with hateful names.

As said, in Canadian Law, there's nothing wrong with it once you hit 16. At 18, you're free to do as you pleased. If someone is interested in 8-year-olds when they're 15, I'd be concerned, but in this case, my fiance wasn't interested in girls at all until his early 20s and that was with an older woman of whom he didn't stay with longer than a week because she was a bit crazy.

By the way, what does that make me? At fifteen, I refused to even consider secondary school-aged boys, and I still do. The majority are immature and only interested in a specific thing. At fourteen, twenty was a minimum for me. Where do I stand in this? Surely that's just as twisted as a man at 25 wanting to be with someone who's 18. That's a seven years difference in age; at fourteen, I was aiming for six years older. Where am I?

My current fiance is my first relationship, and it's a great one. I'm glad I didn't get some idiot as a first-guy. With compatible personalities and interests, I don't see what's the big issue overall. A lot of people are scornful of 24 and 17, but once it's 25 and 18, it becomes "normal" - wtf? Twisted.

Oh, and, as Reginal said, some people have 15 years difference. What do you have to say about a 22-year-old being attracted to a 7-year-old? Surely the fact that they're 45 and 30 now simply doesn't matter anymore. What matters is the intent that you're claiming they had at 22 and 7! 0-0 We should march over to their house and arrest them for being happily married for 10 years, regardless her having been 18 and her husband 33 at the age of marriage!

Right?

Exactly. Your logic is faulty. When I was eight, I didn't even know my fiance, and him at fifteen didn't even know me. Because he's going on twenty-five and interested in a girl going on eighteen doesn't mean at 15, he would have had sex with an 8-year-old. That is the most corrupt "logic" I've ever seen.


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Ho-Oh

used Sacred Fire!

Age 31
Female
QLD, Australia
Seen June 5th, 2022
Posted April 23rd, 2022
35,988 posts
17.5 Years
A lot of people are scornful of 24 and 17, but once it's 25 and 18, it becomes "normal" - wtf? Twisted.

We should march over to their house and arrest them for being happily married for 10 years, regardless her having been 18 and her husband 33 at the age of marriage!
I still don't see 18 as normal. XD; I dunno, 3 years max difference seems fine overall both ways, just marriage at 18 to 25 just seems kinda big. D: Though I guess that's probably because of different age brackets, not starting with the same number.

...and so does 18 + 133. :(