Disciplining Children Page 6

Started by Izanagi April 26th, 2010 3:46 PM
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Mika

もえじゃないも

Female
Seen February 11th, 2013
Posted June 11th, 2011
1,034 posts
17.5 Years
I'm merely suggesting because something cannot be ceased completely doesn't mean drastic measures like some ridiculous legislation regarding spankings should be passed. It wouldn't even stop the abuse.
That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.

It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.
If you agree with your parents and there's no abuse, I've got no problem with that statement. You live under their roof, you live by their rules. I don't however, think it should be a relationship built on fear or intimidation. You can in most cases, fix things without resorting to violence.

Sorry for editing my posts so frequently, it's rather hard to keep up with you all on a bad internet connection :P

Chibi-chan

The Freshmaker!

Over the Rainbow
Seen December 13th, 2014
Posted December 3rd, 2014
10,026 posts
18.1 Years
That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.



If you agree with your parents and there's no abuse, I've got no problem with that statement. You live under their roof, you live by their rules. I don't however, think it should be a relationship built on fear or intimidation. You can in most cases, fix things without resorting to violence.

Sorry for editing my posts so frequently, it's rather hard to keep up with you all on a bad internet connection :P
You are talking really extreme here. :|


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Female
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Seen July 12th, 2013
Posted July 12th, 2013
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13.1 Years
I'm actually 18 now and my parents still don't allow me to have my door closed. I don't argue with it, because as of this age, I'm a guest in their home that they allow to stay. They don't have any responsibility for me, but I have barely ever fought with my parents so they have no reason to kick me out and I have no reason to leave.

It's much easier to follow what your parents ask of you. Saves loads of trouble.
I agree. I'm 21 years old; a lot more mature. I did have a talking back phase and it didn't work out too good. lol

Generally I was a good kid. I had earned a lot of gadgets by just going with what they said. I can't even recall getting hit.

I'm so old I remember when my mom got me a gameboy color back in 1999 with the yellow version for my birthday. BEST GIFT EVER.

That's true as no law permanently stops any bad behavior but on the flip side, it would make the abuse if it was found out punishable instead of something just swept under the carpet.
Abusing a child is a felony offense in all U.S states. It's not swept under anything.

Klippy

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Age 31
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Seen December 4th, 2022
Posted February 19th, 2022
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17.4 Years
I agree. I'm 21 years old; a lot more mature. I did have a talking back phase and it didn't work out too good. lol

Generally I was a good kid. I had earned a lot of gadgets by just going with what they said. I can't even recall getting hit.

I'm so old I remember when my mom got me a gameboy color back in 1999 with the yellow version for my birthday. BEST GIFT EVER.
I actually talked back to my mom a few weeks ago. I'm a pretty sarcastic person and she is really sensitive when I make jokes, despite me making the same exact jokes for the last 5 years. So she got all offended and she said something about how rude and cruel I am and I said, "Oh geez, shut up..." and my step-dad got all mad and so did I, haha.

But we got over it quickly, since that's the first time we've ever fought really. :)

Mika

もえじゃないも

Female
Seen February 11th, 2013
Posted June 11th, 2011
1,034 posts
17.5 Years
Abusing a child is a felony offense in all U.S states. It's not swept under anything.
If it's considered abuse. I've seen more than one parent get away with what I would view as physical abuse [i.e. welts on the child etc] because they had chosen to 'spank' their children. :x I know this probably sounds farfetched to you but I have done my research on it and while it's not anywhere near the majority, it's not a small minority in terms of people taking advantage of that definition to get away with things they shouldn't.

There are other factors that contribute to that sort of thing, there always are, but isn't this something that could be fixed? Is there really no way to find a common definition for the sake of protecting kids? :c At least maybe a little more than we are?

Yusshin

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Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
You can't cause welts on a child if you use your hand - only an object, and using objects = abuse right off the bat.


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Mika

もえじゃないも

Female
Seen February 11th, 2013
Posted June 11th, 2011
1,034 posts
17.5 Years
You can't cause welts on a child if you use your hand - only an object, and using objects = abuse right off the bat.
If you hit hard enough with a hand yes you can cause welts. :P I play fought with my friends [Wet Slapping FTW] all the time growing up and we'd purposely hit eachother hard enough to leave welts.

Again, on the objects, a lot of parenting seminars now-adays recommend using an item like a wooden spoon or a plastic spatula because it's less abusive than the hand. :o

I guess I'm curious, do you guys think there should be a more standard definition on what spanking is/is not? Who should write it if you think there should be that definition?

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
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Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
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13.8 Years
If you hit hard enough with a hand yes you can cause welts. :P I play fought with my friends [Wet Slapping FTW] all the time growing up and we'd purposely hit eachother hard enough to leave welts.
If that's true, then you're hitting too hard. Obviously. A good parent would know that.


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Mika

もえじゃないも

Female
Seen February 11th, 2013
Posted June 11th, 2011
1,034 posts
17.5 Years
If that's true, then you're hitting too hard. Obviously. A good parent would know that.
Again, that's your opinion. And to some extent, isn't it true you can't always know if you're hitting too hard or too soft. Hit too soft, it doesn't make an impact right? hit too hard, you're going over the top.

But, again, isn't it true that what you believe is 'too hard' is 'just right' for another parent who is a 'good parent'? :o

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
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13.8 Years
But, again, isn't it true that what you believe is 'too hard' is 'just right' for another parent who is a 'good parent'? :o
Nope, leaving welts is just sadistic, and there's something wrong with a parent who believes otherwise. Welts can have your children taken away, and there's a reason behind that.


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ReyRey-Pyon

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Age 29
Seen February 6th, 2015
Posted January 5th, 2012
1,006 posts
14.1 Years
I was whooped as a kid.
Never got hit hard enough to bruise or bleed, but it still hurt. It wasn't supposed to tickle.
I never feared my parents, as in I wasn;'t afraid to be around them. I knew they didn't want to hurt me. They love me.


I was told to stand in the corner. I was told to write a punishment a hundred times. They'd take away TV from me. etc etc etc

only If i was being really bratty and bad would They get all "don't make me spank you >:C"

Worked wayy better thank taking away toys, pffft when you're a kid, You'll play with ANYTHING xDD
Of coarse now I;m older, that doesn't work anymore. Taking things away. oh yeah no fun. not like when i was five and i could have fun with a cardboard box D:
And I still get told to stand in the hall. if i don't do my chore after being told x many times

Not fun, having to stand around all quiet . I can't do that "standing still" thing. :C

whatever zskjhdkxzc

Some kids need the parents to spank the devil out of them. but I really don't think its nessesary to use unless like, they really really get bad oAo
Age 34
Male
Toowoomba, Australia.
Seen May 29th, 2010
Posted May 8th, 2010
74 posts
13.1 Years
It was actually a struggle for me to read all the last 3.5 pages of this.
I seriously do not believe much of it at all.
Kids need (and Ill say it again) PROPER discipline.
They're allowed to get away with way too much stuff these days, because they know they can call the cops if there parents so much as touch them the tiniest bit to hard.
What they need is to be seriously flogged.
Who cares if they get a little bit scared of their parents, they'll almost never do something wrong again.
The most powerful tool for anyone in a position of authority, whether it be a parent, cops, or leaders of any sort, is fear.
Damn kids these days need to harden up a bit. In my opinion.

Flame away.
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Emerald Team
Age 31
Female
Northern Minnesota
Seen March 14th, 2011
Posted September 30th, 2010
120 posts
13.7 Years
They're allowed to get away with way too much stuff these days, because they know they can call the cops if there parents so much as touch them the tiniest bit to hard.
What they need is to be seriously flogged.
Who cares if they get a little bit scared of their parents, they'll almost never do something wrong again.
The most powerful tool for anyone in a position of authority, whether it be a parent, cops, or leaders of any sort, is fear.
Damn kids these days need to harden up a bit. In my opinion.

Flame away.
Agreed. Every kid needs a good spanking when needed. So as long as the parents aren't going over the top. My mother broke a wooden spoon on my behind once; had everything taken out of my room for a week except my dresser and mattress (these happened when I was young, obviously); had to write "I will not (insert bad thing I did here)..." a couple hundred times (on a couple occassions); etc. and both my brothers and I have turned out to be good kids and we are a very close family.

I rarely hear of young children getting spanked, getting the soap/hot pepper in their tongues, or whatever other punishment we (speaking for other forum members) had; and I have a friend that works at an after-school program and she works with 5th graders and younger and they are so RUDE and they LACK RESPECT for adults and don't even get me started on their LANGUAGE. I'm a senior in high school, a 6-12th grade school, and the things coming out of the mouths of the 6th graders coming from the elementary school is HORRENDOUS. They're spouting off things, words my class never learned til 7th or 8th grade. Since our old principal left--right after our class moved on to the high school--and rules and punishment there have become way too lenient. We had consequences for poor choices we made and they never happen anymore, and I am very disappointed.

I can only imagine what I'll have to put up with when I start teaching... I am not a super-strict person by any means (I aide for a few teachers here--very good ones--and the kids love me) but I am not overly-soft either. I know when and how to put my foot down, and actually, I put up with a lot of crap from kids--I may be a teeny-bit too soft, but that's my personality--I let people walk all over me too much.

I feel like a hypocrite now... .-.

Sorry, went a little off-topic! ^_^;

Kids these days have it far too easy and parents have softened up too much, in my opinion.
And I'm not going to lie--I am a little afraid of having kids now, because no matter how good a mother I may be, they're still going to pick up this crap from other kids and their parents...
But then again, I think I can overcome that and apply my mother's parenting ways.

It'll all work out somehow.

Sorry, end of rant!
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Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
I've seen five-year-olds singing songs about rape and violence, filled with swear words and other crude material.

The parents laugh because it's "cute", but that kind of thing shouldn't be acceptable. Those are some bad parents in all honesty :| The kid's going to go to school thinking it's fine, and never be punished for spurring slander every which way and that.

It's kinda depressing.


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Female
the U.S. of A.
Seen April 29th, 2014
Posted March 29th, 2014
324 posts
13.3 Years
i saw some people mentioning kids living in fear of being spanked, so i thought i'd share some of my own experiences

i'll be referring back to my previous post, so here:

when my dad gets mad, he goes nuts. he doesnt spank any of his children unless he's extremely mad. and so from stories, i know that my dad spanked me pretty badly just once, which worked (i think it was on the butt, i'm not sure). i dont even remember it happening but it must have been pretty scary. he never spanked me or any of my siblings more than once or twice
nowadays, i understand that my dad can be very mean and powerful, so i'll avoid doing certain things in fear of punishment
as a teen, i'm sure my dad won't be hitting me anymore, but i still fear being yelled at by him from seeing him yell at others

the kind of fear that i have for my dad is just like "i shouldn't do ----, dad wouldn't approve" so it's not very major
i'm still quite close with my dad, and i love him


i understand that some kids have been treated harsher which may cause more fear, but i'm just sharing my experiences

also, idk if it's been mentioned before, but if a child gets spanked at a young age like me, they may not remember getting spanked but will still keep the discipline
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Seen April 9th, 2011
Posted April 9th, 2011
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14.8 Years
Shoot, I swore I posted in this thread. /darndatabaseerrors

But anyway, to disipline my kids I waould warn them and be stern at first, then if they continue being naughty or whatever I'd spank 'em. Or give them the evil eye, if we're in public.
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Age 30
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Seen May 20th, 2010
Posted May 5th, 2010
24 posts
14.8 Years
You know what really annoys me is parents who never spank or even yell at their kids, let them throw tantrums in public, give them candy everyday and then when their assh*le kids are running wild at school and mouthing off to everyone they blame their bad behaviour on "ADD".

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Guillermo

i own a rabbit heh

Age 28
Australia
Seen April 11th, 2015
Posted May 18th, 2014
6,794 posts
14.9 Years
You know what really annoys me is parents who never spank or even yell at their kids, let them throw tantrums in public, give them candy everyday and then when their assh*le kids are running wild at school and mouthing off to everyone they blame their bad behaviour on "ADD".
As I'm still only 15, I still classify myself as a child. However, I feel much worse about myself when my father or grandparents say that they're disappointed in me rather than yell. My father has never yelled at me, or even hit me. I was always a good kid and I still am. If a kid decides that he/she is going to throw a tantrum, they will throw a tantrum, regardless of what the parent does.

Babies are babies. They don't know right from wrong and they rely on their parents to set a good example. However, letting a child learn on their own is also a good example.
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Rich Boy Rob

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Age 29
Male
Seen March 15th, 2016
Posted August 15th, 2015
1,051 posts
14.9 Years
No. It's illegal to hit children in the UK anyway. The only thing it encourages is fear of being hurt, they aren't learning why it is wrong. Being given a talking to is a far far far better option in my opinion.

As I'm still only 15, I still classify myself as a child. However, I feel much worse about myself when my father or grandparents say that they're disappointed in me rather than yell. My father has never yelled at me, or even hit me. I was always a good kid and I still am. If a kid decides that he/she is going to throw a tantrum, they will throw a tantrum, regardless of what the parent does.

Babies are babies. They don't know right from wrong and they rely on their parents to set a good example. However, letting a child learn on their own is also a good example.
This is exactly how I feel. Children live to please their parents, and will feel bad if they have been told they have disappointing.
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Rich Boy Rob

"Fezzes are cool." The Doctor

Age 29
Male
Seen March 15th, 2016
Posted August 15th, 2015
1,051 posts
14.9 Years
i think it's fine to discipline a child using physical force so long it's appropriate for the offense and not overdone...i was spanked growing up and gotta say it worked better than just about everything else xD;
How can you tell it worked better? To make a genuinely valid comparison, you'd have to be brought up from scratch twice, which is of course impossible.
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