Relationships Page 2

Started by Yusshin April 28th, 2010 11:39 AM
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Yusshin

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Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
Intimacy. Is really up to the couple. By your reasoning Yusshin everytime you have sex should not be just for enjoyment, which leads me to believe that everytime you do it you should be aiming for pregnancy. ( when I say you, I dont mean you personally, I mean generally)
Oh, no xD I don't mean that. The only time I feel it's right to do it for pleasure is if it's with a long-time girlfriend/boyfriend who you plan to marry at some point. When I say "for the pleasure", I mean one-night-stands, being with a girl/boy you don't even find appealing just for their body, etc. If you do it just for the pleasure, it becomes animalistic to me. Meanwhile, if you do it for pleasure with someone you plan to be with for a lifetime, it's almost divine.

<< I hope that clarifies my view.

1,600th post


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Age 27
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Seen November 20th, 2013
Posted October 28th, 2011
458 posts
14 Years
- Revealing clothing
Eh, I say wear what you want, but risk looking like a complete w****. It may be 'attractive' to some guys to have your breasts bulging out of your shirt, and every freaking curve showing, but I know plenty of guys that look at girls like that and say 'She's such a s****.' So, wear what you want, but to a lot of men, you loom ridiculous.

(Listen to 'Boobs Outcha Blouse' by Wanda Sykes. It's amazing. ;D)

- Your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
No. If it's like coming on to them, then absolutely not.

- Strip clubs & bars
No. It's a huge part of society now, and I am revolted by anything like this. I find no appeal, in any way, shape, or form, to watch men (or, if you're a guy, women) prance around with their junk hanging out. Stuff like this is meant for a bedroom, and a bedroom only.

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
I really don't want to go into this, but I shall anyway.
This is disgusting. Just, revolting. Watching two (or one, or more, frequently) people(s) engaging in the act of... you get it, is just revolting. I could never sit down at home and watch pornography. Ever. It's a waste of time, and most of the time, money. Thats all I have to say.

Checking out others is going to happen, yes. It's not going to stop, it's just how men work. I believe it's less common for women to do. But the thing is, even if you do check someone else out when you're already taken, it can lead to a more healthy relationship with your current partner. A guy may look at another girl, and then think how lucky he is to have you. Same with girls.

- Defending your partner when needed
Yes. Hands down.

- Intimacy in general
Affection? Yesh; Hugging, kissing (not making out, please save that for when you're alone, people), playing around (like, having fun. Not THAT kind of playing around), and such is fine with me. More intimate such as ....well, I don't want to give examples. But you guys'll get the picture. Sex, strictly for the bedroom. Nowhere else. I find it disgusting to be in public places... or... special places and have it.

But I find sex to be supposed to be saved until marriage. It's a sacred honour, to take someone's body like that. And it's the highest form of respect and love. It really shouldn't be flaunted around like an everyday thing!

Again, these are just my opinions. ;D

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Posted May 8th, 2010
74 posts
13.1 Years


Oh, no xD I don't mean that. The only time I feel it's right to do it for pleasure is if it's with a long-time girlfriend/boyfriend who you plan to marry at some point. When I say "for the pleasure", I mean one-night-stands, being with a girl/boy you don't even find appealing just for their body, etc. If you do it just for the pleasure, it becomes animalistic to me. Meanwhile, if you do it for pleasure with someone you plan to be with for a lifetime, it's almost divine.

<< I hope that clarifies my view.

1,600th post

Oh ok then, well that makes more sense to me now.
I guess it doesnt change how I see things, but nevertheless. Im not old fashioned or anything though, so to me sex is really nothing more than a physical attraction thing, whether it be a one-nighter or with someone you plan on being with for a long time.
- To survive, you would have to be as mad as a hatter...
Which thankfully, I am.


Emerald Team
Age 30
Male
Your Mother
Seen June 29th, 2010
Posted May 29th, 2010
2,796 posts
17.3 Years
What are your thoughts on relationships nowadays? How do you see them?
I honestly think people are too conservative and make "inappropriate" activities (by their standards) taboo.

I personally feel that women and men shouldn't expose too much of their body. Why? Because lurking eyes will see exposed skin, and perhaps think obscene things. These comments shouldn't be taken as flattering, but insulting; most people are flattered by it, though, and the partner more often than not thinks they have the "hottest piece of ass" because of it. Mini-skirts, tube-tops, and short-shorts have become appropriate. So has low V-necks. I personally would never wear something like that out of respect - a person's body belongs to themselves, and their partner, and not to the entire world so they can look at it sexually.
See, I think the opposite. You should wear what you think makes you feel pretty. We're born naked, and we're the only creatures who feel ashamed of our bodies. It's natural. If a girl wants to wear skimpy outfits, then good for her. Like you said, a person's body belongs to themselves, and if they feel like showing it off, then good for them.

Another thing is strip clubs, bars, "gentleman" clubs, and other similar places. Why would someone in a good relationship want to watch a man or a woman flaunt their stuff for money? Why would someone want to see a 1/2 nude body that wasn't theirs or their partner's? Bars are places to pick up men and women for one-night stands. Even in a group, I don't feel that bars are an appropriate place to "hang out". Surely a restaurant bar would be just as fitting. A similar thing would be pornography. Again, why would you want to look at another person's naked body that wasn't yours or your partner's? Surely your partner's body is enough to satisfy you?
Sometimes your partner can't satisfy you, and you want to look at some other people. Those people want to show it, you want to see it, there's nothing wrong with that. Sex and love aren't exclusive. Family proves that. If it's okay to love someone without having sexual feelings for them, then the opposite should be true as well. Why would someone want to see the naked body of someone other than their partner? Because it's a natural feeling that all people have and there's no use in trying to suppress it.

Checking out other men / women while in a relationship is another thing, too. When you're in a relationship, you should only find your partner attractive truly. Sure, you can say that "so and so is cute" when it's brought to your attention by another person, but it should be done apathetically, and you shouldn't search for people to compliment and/or drool over. I don't get that at all. Most couples permit this, when it's just showing disloyalty.
Same point as I said before. Natural feelings.

Kinkiness is another thing. If you have one woman or one man, why would you want another person to look at you while you're having an intimate moment? It's a sacred thing, and not something done out of pleasure for you or another's prowling eyes. Threesomes, chairs, toys, etc. - why? Why has this stuff become appropriate, when it's truly disgusting at every angle?
It isn't a sacred thing for everyone, though. It's a natural, animal instinct. Some people like others to watch, that's their choice. If they want to invite more people in, then good for them. It's no one else's business to judge them.

My father is one of those prowling men who like early-twenties women, pornography, etc. He disgusts me to no end. Really.
That's sad that such a petty thing causes such disgust for your father. It's truly sad.

I feel like relationships work better when open and you aren't forced to limit yourselves. If it feels good and doesn't hurt anyone, then there's no harm in it. People should spice things up a little. Some people can eat vanilla ice cream forever, but most people want to try something new every now and then. I think relationships would be better if everyone wasn't so uptight. Luckily that seems to be going away.
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Hiougi City
Seen April 12th, 2020
Posted September 11th, 2014
2,543 posts
14 Years
That's sad that such a petty thing causes such disgust for your father. It's truly sad.
It's not a petty thing. How would you like you parent to act like that? And not even hide it from you?

That's all I'm saying on this thread, though I agree, PDA should be minimum and the stuff should be one-on-one and for couples, mostly marrieds.
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Age 29
Male
Israel
Seen June 26th, 2010
Posted June 26th, 2010
605 posts
13.3 Years
No Flaming.

What are your thoughts on relationships nowadays? How do you see them?

From how I see it, drama has become the main thing in a relationship. If there's not enough drama, it's just not "exciting" enough for the majority of people. People seem to be trying to incorperate what they see in reality shows into their real-life relationships, when reality shows are unrealistic in regards to happiness in a couple.

Drama is annoying, sure, this and that, but sometimes one of the sides just takes it too far. I don't like it IMO.

Now, the following isn't because of my religion, or my previous one (Christianity). The following is what I believe is wrong with relationships in society today, and why I feel it's wrong. These are morals and values that I've discovered and I live by, and I'd like to see how other people feel about some of these things.

I personally feel that women and men shouldn't expose too much of their body. Why? Because lurking eyes will see exposed skin, and perhaps think obscene things. These comments shouldn't be taken as flattering, but insulting; most people are flattered by it, though, and the partner more often than not thinks they have the "hottest piece of ass" because of it. Mini-skirts, tube-tops, and short-shorts have become appropriate. So has low V-necks. I personally would never wear something like that out of respect - a person's body belongs to themselves, and their partner, and not to the entire world so they can look at it sexually.

Somebody said to you how to dress? No? Good. No reason to complain. I've said to you this and I'll say it another time. Don't give a ****.

Another thing is strip clubs, bars, "gentleman" clubs, and other similar places. Why would someone in a good relationship want to watch a man or a woman flaunt their stuff for money? Why would someone want to see a 1/2 nude body that wasn't theirs or their partner's? Bars are places to pick up men and women for one-night stands. Even in a group, I don't feel that bars are an appropriate place to "hang out". Surely a restaurant bar would be just as fitting. A similar thing would be pornography. Again, why would you want to look at another person's naked body that wasn't yours or your partner's? Surely your partner's body is enough to satisfy you?

Who the hell watches porn when he/she has a boy/girl friend >.>
In Israel at least, be some time together and you'll "do" "porn" yourself.

Checking out other men / women while in a relationship is another thing, too. When you're in a relationship, you should only find your partner attractive truly. Sure, you can say that "so and so is cute" when it's brought to your attention by another person, but it should be done apathetically, and you shouldn't search for people to compliment and/or drool over. I don't get that at all. Most couples permit this, when it's just showing disloyalty.

"Hey, Eliran, who's sexier, me or Megan Fox?"
"(Oh crap..) You, of course honey"
"LIAR!"
-Dummy situation.
That's a trap. Of course saying her is better is the ideal thing, but all girls know that if you give Megan to a guy.. oh well.

Defending your partner is another issue. Most men and women don't even defend their partner when they're ridiculed - they laugh along with it, or say nothing, or murmur "don't do that". They don't stand up for their partner at all. They might even still be friends / hang out with the person who humiliates and talks badly about their partner. I don't know how people can see this as reasonable to do.

Both are idiots getting into a relationship in the first place.

Kinkiness is another thing. If you have one woman or one man, why would you want another person to look at you while you're having an intimate moment? It's a sacred thing, and not something done out of pleasure for you or another's prowling eyes. Threesomes, chairs, toys, etc. - why? Why has this stuff become appropriate, when it's truly disgusting at every angle?

I dunno what to say about this, didn't get it much.

My father is one of those prowling men who like early-twenties women, pornography, etc. He disgusts me to no end. Really.

Nobody will say it for you but MOST men (I'll include teenagers, boys, o'course) WILL, eventually take a peek at some good looking girls on the internet. And most boy teenagers won't say it but they watch porn regulary, even myself. And I do masturbate, I'd rather spit **** up at the toilet other than having it come to me sometime inappropriate. (And I dunno why but I think because the lack of sexual pleasure rape scenes occour)

How do you guys feel about the following (I've expressed my views; now, share yours, if desired):

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
Lolwutclothes. Attracted to other women (men) is pretty naturally. Dunno about women.
- Strip clubs & bars
I'm a quiet guy. AKA I don't like crazy dance parties and stuff. Here and there with my friends is OK but eh.. I like staying home and listening to music I like. Most of the time.
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
The hell wondering eyes means?
Porn: Men has to get a way to release sexual stress. Otherwise, let's see how happily you will act when your boyfriend gets a horny boost from his brain for not masturbating for some period of time.
- Defending your partner when needed
Sure.
- Intimacy in general
Since I do know what that word is but I do not know what it really means I can't answer.

Try to be broad on that last part. Obviously details would get this thread closed :|
Answers in Bold.
Umm, nice topic anyway. (I wish I could have used my lovely steam-forums way of passing a char limit. Like 25Bolds)

Yusshin

♪ Yggdrasil ♪

Age 30
Quebec, Canada
Seen May 13th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
2,414 posts
13.8 Years
That's sad that such a petty thing causes such disgust for your father. It's truly sad.
My father's 40. He likes 18-22-year-olds, whistles at them from the car, and has poster girls, pornographic magazines, and porno sites bookmarked on his browser. He tells me often enough to bring home college friends, too, for "sleep overs."

I would hope you would be disgusted with your father if the same thing happened to you lol o_o


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Age 34
Male
Toowoomba, Australia.
Seen May 29th, 2010
Posted May 8th, 2010
74 posts
13.1 Years
Actually, Im in agreeance, that is a petty thing to cause such disgust. I
f my father was a single man and he did that I would applaud him.
We would actually have much more in common.
Id be thrilled honestly.
Maybe Im twisted, I dont really mind, its whatever to me.
Id be alright with it nonetheless, far far far from disgusted.
- To survive, you would have to be as mad as a hatter...
Which thankfully, I am.


Emerald Team
Age 34
Male
teh internetz
Seen September 4th, 2012
Posted August 29th, 2010
185 posts
14.2 Years
This thread is too long and I am too tired to suffer through it all, but...

No Flaming.


No fun. =/

What are your thoughts on relationships nowadays? How do you see them?


I think by and large, most people pursue relationships simply to have someone. They need that companionship to give them a sense of worth... or perhaps to simply satisfy a primal, instinctive urge to have a mate, for reproductive means.

But this is okay! The more partners you have, the more social practice you have. Imagine someone growing up without having a single friend, only to be forced into a friendship at age... thirty. Would they know how to communicate with this friend? Would they know what sort of activities they should do together? How would they be able to handle it? Truth is, they probably couldn't. Not at first anyway.

Relationships are trial and error, so for all the hateful things I said about the jocks in high school who would date the closest thing with breasts only to leave them a few weeks later, they probably have alot more intimate-relationship sense than I do now. Although in my defense none of them were ever very good listeners, which also helps.

From how I see it, drama has become the main thing in a relationship. If there's not enough drama, it's just not "exciting" enough for the majority of people. People seem to be trying to incorperate what they see in reality shows into their real-life relationships, when reality shows are unrealistic in regards to happiness in a couple.


I can't speak for adult relationships, but in the case of teenagers and young adults, yes, there is an unhealthy amount of TEH DRAMAZ. I don't want to offend any teens or whatever - I'm not stereotyping here, only speaking from experience - but the reason for this is simply due to a lack of life experience. As I said before, relationships are trial and error. Teens instinctively, no matter how hard you try and fight it and be "mature", focus only on the "now." Due to a lack of life experience, they tend to have a hard time looking ahead and suffer from a narrow world view. Because of this, they'd rather rush a relationship and force dramatic events in order to speed things up. It has to be a constant up and down, high and low because they have never experienced a lull in social growth. Once you reach adulthood, things calm down... for most of us, anyway.

How do you guys feel about the following (I've expressed my views; now, share yours, if desired):

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
- Strip clubs & bars
- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
- Defending your partner when needed
- Intimacy in general

Try to be broad on that last part. Obviously details would get this thread closed :|

Revealing clothing, eh. It's a tough subject. I think to a certain extent it's fine, people need to keep in mind that sex should be sacred. Leaving things to the imagination is a powerful thing, and if your cleavage and midriff is always showing the sex appeal kind of gets... dull. But then again, I'm the kind of person who vastly prefers FFIX's Dagger over FFXIII's Fang.

Strip clubs and whatnot, bleh. To say nothing of the morality of the issue, I think it is a business and to make it illegal would be wrong. I am also in favor of legalizing prostitution, simply due to how much employment would increase because of it. It would also cut down on the cost of fining and jailing prostitutes; police action costs money, you know. As for the morality of it all, I think as long as it is done in a safe and controlled environment and everyone is a willing participant, I can't really knock it. We're talking about instincts, here; sexual urges. If they can let out those feelings without getting people hurt then that's fine with me.

Pornography may tend to get a bit disgusting on occasion, but again I feel that it serves a purpose. Like strip clubs, it deals with urges and instincts. I think as long as you're in a relationship you shouldn't need it and frankly I would be uncomfortable and perhaps even offended if my significant other were to watch porn. But for those who are single, pornography in moderation is fine. After all, masturbating regularly is healthy.

Wandering eyes are only natural, but if it happens often enough there may be a deeper problem. I think in this case it's every person's right to confront their partner on the issue, but only if it happens enough, otherwise you might become paranoid.

Defending your partner should go without saying, but unfortunately for alot of people that isn't the case. If I love someone, I'll defend them on any issue regardless of what it might be. That's just how the emotion works. If you can't do that much, it's not real love. But admitting that is difficult to do.

Intimacy can be a beautiful thing, yeah. But I also think it's sacred, for the most part. Innocent stuff like kissing and hand holding, sure, I'm not Amish; that stuff is fine. But you start juking and you can go home. There is a certain romantic feeling to have in spontaneous over-the-topic intimacy, though; in those rare cases, I guess it is sort of hard to be prudish.

It isn't a sacred thing for everyone, though. It's a natural, animal instinct.
Something can be sacred as well as instictive; the two aren't mutually exclusive. Whenever you're really hungry, but you wait for awhile and build it up and when you finally eat it's twice as special? Yeah, same concept.
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17.3 Years


My father's 40. He likes 18-22-year-olds, whistles at them from the car, and has poster girls, pornographic magazines, and porno sites bookmarked on his browser. He tells me often enough to bring home college friends, too, for "sleep overs."

I would hope you would be disgusted with your father if the same thing happened to you lol o_o
Why would you hope that? My dad has porno magazines, and has porno sites bookmarked in his browser. It doesn't affect me at all, and I sure as hell am not disgusted by him. Who am I to judge?

Something can be sacred as well as instictive; the two aren't mutually exclusive. Whenever you're really hungry, but you wait for awhile and build it up and when you finally eat it's twice as special? Yeah, same concept.
That's what I was saying. It may be sacred for some, but for others it isn't.
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Seen May 24th, 2011
Posted February 19th, 2011
114 posts
15.4 Years
having 0 relationship experience my post should be taken with a kilogram of salt :P

- Revealing clothing / your partner baiting themselves to other men/women
i'm a really simple dude, reckon people should be able to wear whatever they want regardless of being in a relationship or not...if partners do it with the intention of baiting themselves to other men/women then they shouldn't be in the relationship...problem here is with the relationship not the clothing...

- Strip clubs & bars
i'm a very uncomplicated dude...don't understand why people can't retain their freedom and be in relationships at the same time? i reckon people should be allowed to go wherever they want regardless of being in a relationship or not...if people want to get away from a relationship and look in places like these, then again the problem is with the relationship, but if they just going for pure entertainment, why not? =D

- Pornography / checking out other men/women while in a relationship / wandering eyes
i'm a very easy going kinda fellow, pornorgraphy watching in a relationship just another form of entertainment and nothing more - if it is, then something isn't going right in the relationship. its natural to be attracted to members of the opposite sex...nothing wrong with wandering eyes...in a good relationship both partners would be totally reassured and trusting of their partner, right? :P if not, something is definitely lacking in that relationship...

- Defending your partner when needed
i like to think of myself as a logical guy, reckon people should defend what they believe is right, and if their partner says or does something that they don't think is right then they shouldn't have to defend their partners...some ppl don't have the bollocks to defend what they oughtto, but tbh i don't see how this particular point should have anything to do with relationships...

- Intimacy in general
i'm an easy going lad, i don't really have a problem seeing people out having fun together :P