Pokemon: Journey of Green

Started by emeraldslay November 14th, 2004 4:33 AM
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emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing

Age 30
Seen August 3rd, 2008
Posted August 2nd, 2008
400 posts
19.1 Years
Authors note:
Hello! Welcome to my second attempt at writing a fic. You may be sad (or even happy) to know, that I am thinking about stopping the Legend of Erick. I had to many errors, and was losing audiences. Then I had an idea. Why not write a story that combines: The game, the Manga, the anime AND my own ideas? I had never seen this attempted before, so I decided to give it a go. So far, there are seven parts, each with quite a few chapters. They follow the life of: Green, red, Blue, Yellow, Gold, silver and Crystal. It's like Pokemon special, and the game, and the anime. Each have elements of all of them, for example.

Jounrey of Green: Green spots mew when he begins (manga)
Journey of Red: Red spots Ho-oh (anime)
Journey of Blue: Blue doesn't see anything at all (game)

Each have diffrent elements of all of it. May I also add that they do not follow Pokemon special, Green is NOT oak's grandson, Red is. May I also add, that chapter one will seem a lot like the manga, but elements of the game and Anime will soon creep in. I know many people may take this good or bad, and it is a risk, but what the heck, here I go!

emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing

Age 30
Seen August 3rd, 2008
Posted August 2nd, 2008
400 posts
19.1 Years
Chapter one: The sunset
The sun drifted down from the red sky, slowly lowering down behind the horizon, just beyond the lush green trees that made up the forest beyond the town. As the sun lowered down, the heat slowly drifted out of the region. The wildlife suddenly came to a stop, as if all the creatures had vanished. Then slowly, the nightlife of the region came into life. An outsider would call them strange mysterious creatures. But, anybody else would call them Pokemon. Creatures that are beyond the wildest dreams of anybody who hasn’t witnessed the creatures themselves, somebody who hasn’t witnessed them fly, somebody who hasn’t witnessed them run, somebody who hasn’t witnessed them live. Somebody who locks out these creature’s power, their amazing uses of power, their amazing talent. Somebody who has never witnessed these creatures battle, and skilfully listen to humans, who actually registers the command with such talent. But, perhaps their most amazing feat of all is there talent to get stronger with the love and attention of their trainers. These creatures were amazingly powerful, but in the hands of the right trainers, they can surpass one’s greatest dreams, perhaps making their trainer a legend. When first discovered, these creatures were left alone. But soon, when their natural ability and instinct to fight became known, they were soon captured, and were used to fight. Soon, hundreds of trainers were turned out every year to receive a starter Pokemon, and about half the number that started would get to the Pokemon league, at Indigo Plateau. To get to such a place, one had to get eight badges in the region of Kanto. It was a long quest, but the system worked. The winner of the league will be awarded with a trophy, and will classify as a Pokemon master, and will go to the Pokemon hall of fame. It was the ultimate dream of any trainer. To harness the power of Pokemon, and then beat the Indigo Plateau challenge with the trust of you’re Pokemon, is a great feat indeed. The challenge came round once every seven years, so it was a great opportunity. Kanto was a large region, and it would take over a year to travel round the entire region. Many towns and cities were in that region, most of them with their own ‘gym’ where you could receive a badge. A Pokemon gym contains gym leaders and gym trainers. When you have beaten the gym trainers and the leader, then you will get the badge that that certain gym leader owns. But, it certainly isn’t easy. Most gym leaders have at least three years of training, and they will do whatever they can to hold on to their collection of badges. When one receives eight of these badges, they may enter the Indigo Plateau competition, and battle against trainers of at least equal skill, but no before you beat the Elite Four - a selection of four trainers from the last Indigo Plateau competition that got into the semi-finals. They have seven years to train (since there is seven years between each competition) and they will do as best they can to get the trainer numbers down. Of course, it is a great disappointment for trainers to get that far, and then be disqualified for losing to the Elite Four. As long as there are at least thirty trainers that have surpassed the Elite Four, then the competition will go on. Since a minimum of five hundred contestants enter, it is extremely rare for there to be less then thirty trainers entering. The minimum amount so far has been when the Indigo Plateau first opened, and only ninety-eight trainers entered, but since then the amounts have soared, and more people have been joining each year. At the beginning of each year, people head to their local Pokemon lab and can choose between selections of Pokemon. Normally, they are simple easy-to-catch Pokemon, that professors can easily get, but if trainer properly will evolve into strong fighters.
In the bleak, small town of Pallet, the professor started blankly out of the window. The sun was setting, casting a red light across the field and the small houses. The sun slowly drained out of the field that separated the outskirts of the town from the main area. Yawning, a small creature lay down, seeking the comfort and safety of the long thick grass. The creature was completely white, with a purple streak running from the front of his head to the tip of his long spiral tail. Two white sharp teeth protruding from his mouth, a lethal weapon when attacked by other Pokemon. His small body had four small legs with claws that could be outstretched, which could use a fatal scratch attack. His tail curled up into his body, and he lay down to go to sleep. His small ears that lay on the top of his head proper up to check for danger for the last time, before his small body curled up, and he fell into a sleep. The professor started at the creature. That is what he liked about Pokemon, the way that they are all special in there own way. The professor heard the distant giggles of children playing about nearer the town, and he sighed. With Pallet being such a small community, not many children were let out to start their own journeys. There wasn’t much hope for light being shed on Pallet town as being the hometown of the greatest Pokemon trainer of all time. Of course, there was that one skilled trainer he had seen. But that trainer never came to him. That trainer had pulled himself up from nothing, and not even leaving the outskirts of the town, had become a skilled trainer. The professor sighed once more, shaking his head, before he closed the blinds and walked away.
The giggles of the children echoed as they chased a distressed creature. The children seemed small, no more then six or seven years old, they all had shorts and different coloured tops on. The one that had his cap turned, leaped at the small red creature. The creature was a Nidoran. It had small legs, with sharp claws that were showing. It had large red ears that were green on the inside that happened to be very sensitive. It had a small deep red body, and a horn on the top of its head; just above it’s light red eyes. On it’s back were sharp spikes protruding from it’s back. It had red spots here and there, and very bumpy skin. The creature stared at the sjirachiing children, that had it cornered against a tree. Nidoran were normally quite territorial, and would immediately attack if provoked. But this Nidoran was quite young, and was trying to get these strange creatures to leave it alone. After a minute or so, the boy with the cap leaped at Nidoran, his arms outstretched, trying to grab the young Pokemon. But the Nidoran saw it immediately, and bent its legs and jumped high into the air, soaring over the young boy, and jumped behind him, where the boy and the girl jumped at him. He ran through the opening between the children, running at speeds of fifty miles per hour, but before Nidoran could get to that speed, the boy with the cap jumped in front of him, blocking Nidoran’s path. Nidoran skidded to a stop, and turned to run the other way. Making another jump at Nidoran, the boy with the cap fell just before Nidoran could run into his arms. Nidoran jumped over the fallen child, and made a desperate run for freedom. But, a taller boy suddenly steps out in front of the shocked Nidoran. The three kids get up, and blocked Nidoran’s escape route. He smiles at the children’s futile attempt to capture the Nidoran. The children look up at him in amazement. The boy reaches out for a spherical object in his pocket. He took it out, and the cold metallic feel of the ball greeted his hand in a familiar way. It was red on the top, and a silvery colour at the bottom. It had a small button on the bottom and the middle. The children all looked at the object he was holding in amazement.
“Are you Green?” The child with the cap on said to the teenager.
“Yes, I am” Green said laughing at the children’s amazed looks. He kneeled down so he was at their level, and held out the Pokeball. The Nidoran made one last attempt to escape, but Green stopped it with his other hand. The Nidoran finally gave up trying to escape and seemed to give out a sigh, and lay down on the grass, deciding that he wouldn’t escape these annoying gang on humans after all.
“Now listen carefully”, Green said, twirling the Pokeball around in his hand as the children looked at him in amazement.
“This is called a Pokeball. You can buy them from any shop in the town. If you throw it at the Pokemon, it will hold the Pokemon inside. Then, the Pokemon is legally yours to keep. Got that?”
All of the children nodded, and the blonde haired girl stepped forward as Green got up, putting the Pokeball in his pocket.
“If we capture it, will it be as strong as yours?”
“No, I’m afraid to get it as strong as mine you have to train it up, like I have done” Green replied.
“Did you go to Professor Oak like other trainers? I have heard he has a lot of knowledge about Pokemon” The boy who hadn’t spoken yet said.
“No. I trained alone. I didn’t need the help of some old guy to be strong. All I needed was my first Pokemon, that I still remember capturing”Green found himself looking back to the day he first found Poliwhirl, and how he first became interested in Pokemon. It was five years ago, when he was ten years old. He was fishing with his father, by the lake next to Pallet town. It was a warm day, but he was young and restless. He couldn’t sit still on his folding chair as his rod dangled in the stream. No fish would take his bait, and he felt as if he was completely wasting his time. His father had caught a large fish, and was going to sell it. He left Green on his own to fish. Green settled down and watched the stream. He let out a yawn, as it was boring. Then suddenly, he heard a rustling in the grass behind him. Green immediately turned round, and didn’t see anything. But suddenly, a strange Pokemon stepped out of it’s hiding place. Green was amazed at what he saw. Standing there was a Poliwhirl! It was quite an odd Pokemon, but amazing nonetheless. It was a blue colour, a light blue, like the sea in a hot country. It had a white patch on its stomach, and on it was a black spiral shape. It is said, that Poliwhirl can make the spiral spin around, and can hypnotise people and Pokemon. It had two eyes on the top of its head that looked at Green innocently. It had two rather long arms that had two white hands at the front, giving the impression that the Pokemon was wearing gloves. Nevertheless, the hands could pack a mean Mega Punch. Poliwhirl also had two large feet, a little clumsy on land but excellent for swimming. It was a rather plump little Pokemon, but Green knew that they could run incredibly fast. So, Green wandered, why wasn’t it running extremely fast? The Poliwhirl simply stared at Green, and Green stared back at Poliwhirl. But, Green was knocked out of his trance, and he realised he had a great opportunity for him to get a Pokemon! He formulated a plan inside his head, and then started to reel in his rod, but not to quickly as not to alarm the Poliwhirl. Poliwhirl stared at Green as he reeled in his rod. When Green had finally reeled in his rod and took the bait off of the end. He held it out, and the Poliwhirl looked at it. Cautiously, but quickly, the Poliwhirl walked forward and took the bait off of Green and ate it. Green then quickly made a grab for Poliwhirl and Green was surprised when Poliwhirl didn’t run away, like he had expected. He picked up Poliwhirl and was surprised that it didn’t resist his grip. Green then foolishly put Poliwhirl on the ground, and Poliwhirl simply walked up to Green. The Poliwhirl had become strangely attached to Green. Green said something to it that he had heard somebody say in a Pokemon battle, when a Pokemon battle had started outside of his house a few months ago.
“Poliwhirl…Erm, water gun!”
The Poliwhirl opened his mouth, and quickly a stream of water came out and went straight into Green’s face. Green was hit with a load of water that soaked his hair and face, and hurt his eyes. He struggled to make it stop, but the water just kept on coming. The water fell from his face and down his back, sending an ice-cold chill down his back.
“Poliwhirl stop!” He said, and the stream of water was immediately broken off, leaving Poliwhirl standing there. Green laughed at Poliwhirl, even though he was ice cold and soaking wet. He didn’t laugh because he had just been hit with a powerful stream of ice cold water, no. He laughed because of the fact that he owned a Pokemon! A Poliwhirl! That listened to HIM! You could not imagine his great feeling of inner joy at that time. Soon, his dad came back, and Green explained that he owned a Poliwhirl. In the few years that he had Poliwhirl he trained him and trained him, until he went around fighting trainers, and he beat most of them. He became a local legend, but for some reason he never left Pallet. But, the reason for this is because he never went to Professor Oak. He never learned about the Indigo Plateau. Like people in places without electricity don’t know it exists. Green just stayed in the town waiting for trainers to come. But, parents that didn’t want their children to be trainers thought of him as a bad influence. But Green didn’t care. Suddenly, the child’s voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Can we see it?” The girl said, obviously referring to Poliwhirl.
Green thought about this. What harm could it do? But in his head, he knew what could happen. Poliwhirl could become attached to one of these children like Poliwhirl had become attached to Green. Green was afraid of this.
“No” Green said, and turned to walk away, ignoring the pleas and cries of the children, and turning to walk away. He gave a wave of goodbye to the children, and noticed the sun had nearly set completely. It was getting dark. Green guessed he should probably be getting home. He thought about all the types of Pokemon there were. One day, he would own them all. Every single one of them - could that ‘professor Oak’ help him to achieve that goal? Green knew that the professor had a good reputation for being the authority on all things to do with Pokemon. The professor may help him…
“Hey kid!” Green suddenly bumped into a tall man, and stumbled backwards. He regained his balance quickly, and looked at who had bumped into him. It was a tall man, clad in a black suit with white gloves and boots. He scowled at Green for bumping into him. Green noticed more people like this one running around the area, some holding beeping machines, all in a hurry. Green wandered what was going on here.
“Watch where you’re going, or next time you’ll be sorry!” The man said.
“You’re the one who bumped into me!” Green retorted angrily.
“Do you want to take this outside?” The man replied.
“We are outside!” Green said.
“You better watch you’re mouth kid!” The man whispered to Green in a threatening voice.
“Shall we settle this with a Pokemon battle?” Green said, angrily.
“I don’t have time for you. We’re on to something important, and we don’t want you messing things up! Now leave, if you know what’s good for you!” The man said, before hurrying off with the others.
Green was about to shout something smart at him, but stopped he, realising it wasn’t worth starting a fight over. Green started to leave, shaking his head when he overheard part of a conversation.
“…It was just sighed flying through route two!” One of the men said.
“Finally, we have found Mew. That Pokemon has slipped through my fingers like sand so many times before…now it is mine! Which route did you say it was flying through?” The man said triumphantly.
“Route two” he replied.
The two men hurried off to alert the other men that were running around the area. Mew? Green thought, wasn’t that the rumoured one-of-a-kind Pokemon? That exotic Pokemon from another region that Green had heard about? Green knew this was the jackpot. If he had Mew, he would be famous. He scanned his mind, trying to remember the shortcut to route two that his father had told him about. Then he remembered it! Green started to run to the middle of Pallet town, he cut could through the middle of Pallet town! He ran as fast as he could, realising it was getting darker, but he only thought about Mew. He finally arrived at Pallet town, and saw the few plain houses scattered around the town. As he ran, the ground turned from grass to concrete. He finally saw the shortcut, between two houses. He squeezed through the gap, and then emerged into route two. Green looked around. Without the light of Pallet town, it was nearly pitch black. But he saw a light a few meters off. He walked towards it, being careful not to trip, and started to walk through thick mud, then he turned, and saw it. Levitating off the ground was a pink/white Pokemon. It had a long tail, ending in an oval shape. It had short arms and legs, and sapphire-blue eyes that somehow looked pained and sad. Green didn’t know much about Mew, so he didn’t know about any of its power. Then he noticed another boy, around his age, standing opposite of Mew. The boy was a little shorter then him, and had a red jacket on and blue jeans. The kid was holding a Pokeball, and Mew was watching him carefully. The boy threw his Pokeball, with a cry of
“Go, Charmander!”
The Pokeball landed, and opened up in a flash of red light. On the ground, a Pokemon materialised, and got ready to battle. The creature was about the size of Poliwhirl, and was a striking red colour with a white belly. It stood upright, and had a red tail with a burning flame at the end. It had big, black eyes and two arms and hands, which had silvery claws on the end. Green knew about these, the ‘Charmander’ was one of the new discoveries of Professor Oak. Green didn’t think about the other two, and just watched, eager to see Mew and Charmander in battle. The trainer didn’t say anything, as the Charmander began the battle on it’s own. Charmander opened his mouth, and a roaring blast of fire came out, cutting through the air and heading for the seemingly un-prepared Mew. But, the floating creature curled up, and when he uncurled, it seemed to send a ripple through the air and a shield that was tinged red appeared in front of Mew. When the stream of fire came in contact with the shield, it dissolved. A look of annoyance came upon the boy’s face. Mew looked at Charmander, and a shower of energy shot from Mew, and went at Charmander. Charmander was hit with red energy, and instantly fell to the ground. The trainer shrugged, and re-called the Charmander. Green gasped in horror. The trainer was giving up? He couldn’t! Green leaped up.
“Why are you giving up?” He shouted at the trainer. The trainer turned around and looked at Green, studying him for a moment.
“First of all, why do you care anyway? Secondly, I know when to give up. That Pokemon is stronger then mine, and I didn’t want mine to get hurt just because of my own selfishness, but I suppose a bad trainer like you obviously would. It was plainly obvious that Mew outmatched my strength”
The trainer turned round and began to walk off.
“Wait! How did you get a Charmander?” Green said to the trainer, eager to know.
“Professor Oak is my grandfather, he gave me Charmander AND taught me about Pokemon” the trainer said, before walking off. Green noticed Mew started to fly away, so he stopped, and got his Pokeball. How did that trainer do it? Green always used to just tap the button on the front, but he seemed to throw it. Green threw his Pokeball, and as it hit the ground, Poliwhirl came out, ready to battle.
Mew noticed Poliwhirl, and curled up again, when he uncurled, a blast of energy was sent everywhere, temporarily blinding Green, and making Poliwhirl faint on the spot. Green let out a cry of shock; ignoring the damage it had done to the surrounding area, and ran up to Poliwhirl. Poliwhirl was badly hurt. With a kick of its legs, Mew flew into the air and glided away. Green didn’t linger on his loss, he simply ran up to Poliwhirl. Green feared that Poliwhirl was very badly hurt, or maybe even dead. Green recalled Poliwhirl, and desperately thought about what he could possibly do. He held Poliwhirl’s Pokeball, and stared at it. His selfishness is what had caused this. Thinking desperately, Green turned round and ran back to Pallet, where he could find help.

Amy-chan

Has vacated the premises

Age 30
Paradise...
Seen August 20th, 2007
Posted September 29th, 2006
2,339 posts
19.5 Years
It's..okay. But the word usage is limited and in some cases incorrect. Examples:
'slowly lowering down' and 'as the sun lowered down'
the adverb 'slowly' was used several times at the beginning('slowly' lowering down; heat 'slowly' drifted out; 'slowly', the nightlife of the region)
'But soon, when their natural ability and instinct to fight became known, they were soon captured' This phrase used soon twice...
"You better watch you're mouth kid!" Wrong use of apostraphe, instead use your.

Aside from small mistakes like these it was alright for an OT. Personally, OTs in general bore me, but that's just my opinion..
~Miracles Happen~

www.care2.com
www.ecologyfund.com
www.theanimalrescuesite.com (Click the tabs.)

Left, now that I can contact people a different way. Please click at the sites above. They're charity sites, not gags designed to make you join another forum or whatever. They actually do something.

EmeraldSky

Make the Colors in the Sky!

At the arcade, playing DDR with Ash
Seen 8 Hours Ago
Posted 3 Days Ago
6,203 posts
18.5 Years
Okay, let's see here:

Description: Very nice! You also go out of your way to describe the Pokemon in detail, a plus for any non-fan that finds this story!
Characters: I'm not that well versed in the manga; I will confess, but from what I've seen, you do well at staying true to the characters' personalities.
Plot: An interesting mix of manga, anime, and the game--it may be confusing to some readers at first, but it also makes for some interesting plot twists as well.

Anything else?: Space out your paragraphs, it makes it hard to read when it's all scrunched together.
The Saga of the Kagayou Theater

The First Sparkling Stage (Waku)
The Stage of Crystal (Paldea)/The Stage of Light (Kalos)/The Royal Stage (Galar)/The Stage of Victory (Talie)
The Global Stage (Unova)/The Stage of Paradise (Alola)
The Shimmering Stage (Waku)

emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing

Age 30
Seen August 3rd, 2008
Posted August 2nd, 2008
400 posts
19.1 Years
Chapter two: A shocking night
Green dashed through the undergrowth, groping around the darkness, untill finally he emerged into Pallet town. Green closed his eyes. He needed to clam down. Now-where was the old man’s lab? Green thought and thought, until remembering it was across a nearby field. He ran past houses and into the open field. Suddenly, he was bitten on his neck by something. Then, before he knew it, Pokemon were attacking him from everywhere. He heard the flapping of wings, the squeaks of mouths, and the ferocious growling of them all. Green kneeled down, knowing that he was foolish to try to get past open Pokemon fields without his Poliwhirl to protect him. Then suddenly he heard quick footsteps running towards him, and soon saw an aging man with greyish hair running towards him, a lab coat flapping around his legs. He soon approached, and was breathing heavily.
“Go Bulbasaur!” The man said, obviously worn out, and threw a Pokeball.
Out came a Pokemon that Green had never seen before. It was blue, with a giant green bulb on his back. It had short legs, and odd strange markings on it. The creature looked quite determined to fight, yet quite relaxed and laid back at the same time. Green noted how odd that was.
“Use you’re vine whip attack!” The professor said, and two thick green vines extended from Bulbasaur’s underbelly. They hit at the Pokemon making a snapping sound being heard on the impact. Green wandered if the Pokemon had broke the other Pokemon’s bones. Green watched in awe as the Bulbasaur’s vines were withdrawn into his underbelly, and it stood triumphantly. Green hoped that one day he would have a Pokemon as strong as that. The professor extended a hand to Green, and Green grabbed it and was pulled up.
“Thank you” Green said, staring at the Professor in awe.
“You could of gotten yourself injured! What are you doing out here?” The professor said, in a scolding tone of voice.
“I came because my Poliwhirl is injured” Green said.
A look of concern quickly came upon the professor’s face, but it soon returned to his normal scowling face.
“Give me it’s Pokeball, then come with me”, the professor said.
Green gave the professor his Pokeball, and then followed him, as he turned round to walk off. He saw the silhouettes of the Pokemon. One looked like a super-sized version of Rattata, with brown fur and long teeth. But he couldn’t make out much more. A few others were on either side of him. But, the Bulbasaur’s glare kept them at bay. Green stared at the Bulbasaur. He wished that he had one! He followed the professor for another couple of minutes, and then they came to a giant lab. He couldn’t make out much in the now pitch-black darkness, but the roof looked like a giant Pokeball. The professor opened the door, and Green had to cover his eyes from the bright light. Green walked inside, and saw a pretty basic lab. Pokeballs laid on the shelves all round the room. The professor put the Pokeball in the machine, and the machine glowed. It rung, then the professor took the Pokeball out, and handed it back to Green.
“Now listen, child. Why didn’t you ever get a starter, like the other children? I’ve seen that you have great talent, with this Pokemon”
Green wandered what to say. He obviously wouldn’t blurt out that he thought he knew more then the professor ever would; yet he needed a good excuse.
“I, err, didn’t know” Green said.
“Right. Well, you may pick a started…from the ones left over” He added.
Green’s eyes lit up. He had never had another Pokemon.
“Right, first there is a Nidoran!” The professor said, and touched the button on the Pokeball, and out came a Nidoran. Green looked at it, before casually dismissing it. He wanted something more!
“There is also a Rattata!” The professor said. He touched the button on the Pokeball next to it, and out came a Rattata. Green yawned. The Rattata saw this, and turned around, ignoring Green.
“Don’t like them?” Oak asked, noticing Green’s boredom with the two Pokemon.
The Nidoran saw the Rattata, and their eyes locked onto each other. The Nidoran crouched down low, preparing to leap at the Rattata, whose claws came out. The Nidoran leaped into the air, only to be caught by the professor, who quickly recalled both of them before they got into a fight.
“Not really professor. I mean if I wanted to I could catch either of these without too much stress. I want my starter to be something more” Green had something in mind, but he decided not to suggest it at the risk of sounding rude.
“Well, there is one more…” The professor said, with a hint of reluctance in his voice.
“What is it?” Green asked curiously.
“But, it does have a slight problem with it…” the professor said.
“Then why is it a starter?” Green asked.
“It has a very SHOCKING personality…” The professor said.
“Then why would I want it?” Green said.
“I don’t normally lend this out as a starter,” the professor continued.
“I know, I don’t want it anyway” Green said, still listening to the old man rambling on.
“But if you insist!” The professor said, and then pressed the button on the final Pokeball.
Out of a dazzling white light, an unusual Pokemon came one of which Green had never seen before. Then again, it didn’t surprise Green considering that he had never ventured past route two. Standing on the table where the Pokeballs lay, was a yellow mouse. It stood upright, and was a bright yellow colour. It had yellow ears, with brown patches at the top. It had a thunderbolt shaped tail; protruding out of it’s back, a back that had three brown lines running across it. It had two short arms that had two three fingered hands on the end. It had two short legs, and three toed feet. It had two red patches on it’s cheek, and Green could of swore he saw a yellow spark coming from the edge of it, but put it down to his imagination. Green felt strangely compelled to touch it. Green’s quivering hand went out to touch its yellow fur…
“I wouldn’t do that if I were…” The professor said, but was cut off. Green touched the yellow fur, feeling it’s soft warmth. But, the creature’s small beady black eyes looked down and saw Green, then it sent an electric shock running throughout it’s body, into Green! Green felt the strongest pain he had ever felt. A yellow glow surrounded him, and the professor gasped in horror and shock as he could see into Green’s skeleton. When the devastating attack was over, Green fell onto the floor, his hair singed black, and realised he couldn’t move a muscle.
“Oh my god!” The professor said, and quickly ran away.
Green heard the sound of a tap, and next thing he knew the professor was throwing a bucket of cold water over him. Green felt the grip on his bones released, and he could move again. The professor helped him to his feet. Green twitched a little from the attack.
“That was a thunder shock attack. A devastating move, that Pikachu is famous for” The professor said, and Green noted the name ‘Pikachu’
“Are you ok?” The professor asked.
“I…I think so” Green said, a bit of static running through him. The professor turned to Pikachu.
“Get back in you’re Pokeball!” The professor said, and pressed the button on the Pokeball. But, too Green’s shock, the Pokemon jumped over the white beam.
“Get here you insolent little Pokemon!” Professor Oak scowled and made a leap for Pikachu. The Pikachu was grabbed, but started to squirm around
“Pikachu!” It protested. The professor saw what was coming, and immediately released Pikachu, before he got a thunder shock attack. The Pikachu dropped down to all fours, and jumped onto the floor, before running at very high speeds. Green saw that Pikachu was running towards the open door. Green leaped for Pikachu, and managed to grab hold of its tail. The Pikachu turned around, and prepared to unleash an electric shock. Green threw Pikachu into the air, and the professor went to grab it. The Pikachu had an angry look on its face. The professor caught it, and quickly recalled it back into its Pokeball. There was a short moment when Green and Oak where panting heavily, before Green broke the silence.
“If I ever see you again, remind me not too get a Pikachu…ever” Green said.
“Don’t worry, I will” Oak replied. There was another short silence.
“So, what are you going to do about you’re starter? Nidoran or Rattata?” Oak asked Green.
“Well, I had something else in mind…” Green said.
“What?” Oak asked curiously.
“Well…I would like the Bulbasaur” Green said.
“Outrageous! Of course you can’t have a Bulbasaur! That’s my new discovery! It’s a new species! For all we know it could be the only one!” Oak said.
“Yes, but maybe I could find more…”
“No! You cannot have Bulbasaur as a starter!”
“What if I gave it back?”
“Give it back? Why in God’s name would you give it back anyway?”
“I don’t know. But it’d be great if you could just let me have it…please?”
“No!”
“Please!”
“No!”
“No?”
“Please!” Oak said, and then realised what he had been tricked into saying.
“Well, if you insist” Green said.
“Oh…fine! But only because you saved Pikachu!” Oak said, before handing Green a Pokeball. Green looked at the Pokeball in awe. It was his first starter Pokemon! Green rolled the ball around in his hands. Oak still was a little distressed at the fact that he had given away his Bulbasaur.
“So, I trust you’ll be heading towards Indigo Plateau?” Oak said to Green.
“What?” Green asked.
“Indigo Plateau” Oak repeated.
“What is ‘Indigo Plateau’?” Green asked.
“What? You don’t know what Indigo Plateau is?” Oak said in amazement.
“Well…no” Green said.
“Well, it is the place where trainers gather every seven years, and the winner gets a trophy, and will be dubbed a ‘Pokemon Master’!” Oak said, still in shock at the fact that Green didn’t know what the Pokemon league was.
“OK, where is Indigo Plateau?” Green asked.
“Oh, it’s not that simple. First you must receive eight badges from the various gyms around Kanto” Oak said.
“Right. So, I suppose I will be leaving then?” Green said.
“Yes. Goodbye, and good luck!” Oak said.
Green turned around. He was still letting this ‘Pokemon League’ thing sink in. It wasn’t everyday he heard huge news like this. The question still lingered in his mind though: Should he go to the Pokemon league, or should he just stay at home? Green suddenly heard the door open. He looked up, and saw the same trainer that he had saw in the forest.
“Red!” Oak said to the trainer. Red’s long black waistcoat was wet with the rain, and his usual spiked-blonde hair was now flat.
“Hi Granddad. I’ve come to get my Charmander healed” Red said, handing Oak his Pokeball.
“You really should use the Pokemon centres, you know” Oak said, putting the Pokeball into the machine.
“I’m leaving tomorrow. I’ll start it then. Hey, guess what? I found a rare Pokemon, but couldn’t catch it. I think it’s name was Mew” Red said. Oak fell over in Anime style.
“You saw MEW!” Oak said, amazed.
“Yes” Red replied.
“Oh my god! Call the RPS! Call reporters!” Oak said.
“Hey, it’s gone now. It flew away after this idiot scared it off” Red said, motioning to Green.
“You’re the one who scared it off! I just intercepted so I could have a shot!” Green said.
“I had everything under control, you know” Red said in a calm voice, while Green was getting angry.
“You did not!” Green said.
“I think it’s obvious who is the better trainer”, Red said, motioning to himself.
“Boys, boys! You both have skill! Please stop arguing!” Oak said.
“Shall we settle this with a Pokemon battle?” Green said.
“Fine” Red said.
“Maybe you should take it outside” Oak suggested, but neither of the trainers listened.
“Go Charmander!” Red said, throwing his Pokeball on the floor. In a bright light, the same red lizard Pokemon appeared, it’s tail flame now even brighter.
Green reached for Poliwhirl’s Pokeball, and the familiar feel of Poliwhirl’s Pokeball greeted his hand. But instead, he decided to use Bulbasaur. He grabbed Bulbasaur’s Pokeball, and threw it onto the floor. Bulbasaur came out. Bulbasaur turned to see his new trainer. He looked at Oak first, and Oak nodded to Bulbasaur.
“Charmander, use tail whip!” Red said.
The Charmander lowered down into attack stance, before running at Bulbasaur. Shock ran through Green, what could he do! A smile came on Red’s face. Bulbasaur crouched down, hoping his master would say something. Charmander’s legs were going to fast they were a blur. Then, a split second before Charmander hit Bulbasaur; he turned round and whacked his tail against Bulbasaur. Pain went through Bulbasaur, as the fire burned his delicate body, and he was sent soaring into the air. Bulbasaur landed on the ground, his eyes closed. Bulbasaur opened his eyes, and got back up, shaking off the affect of the attack. Green was unsure about what to do. Now, what was that attack called that Bulbasaur used before? Green suddenly remembered.
“Bulbasaur, use vine whip!” Green said.
Two thick green vines extended from Bulbasaur’s underbelly, then they both shot out at Charmander, threatening to hit Charmander. As they approached, Charmander instinctively got into attack stance. Red watched as the vines got closer and closer to Charmander.
“Charmander use an ember attack!” Red said to Charmander.
What? Green thought, what is an ember attack? Just before the vines slapped Charmander silly, the Pokemon jumped into the air, and shot a fireball from his mouth. The fireball came in contact with the vines. The vines immediately caught fire, and Bulbasaur screeched in pain. Bulbasaur retracted his vines into his underbelly as quickly as he could. The fire went out from Bulbasaur’s momentum, but they still hurt Bulbasaur. Green shook his head in disappointment with himself. Red sjirachied. Green didn’t know what he could do next. He didn’t know what else Bulbasaur could do.
“Bulbasaur, try a tackle attack” Green suggested weakly.
Bulbasaur ran at Charmander quite quickly, but Charmander was faster. Bulbasaur gained speed as he dashed towards Charmander, who got back into an attack stance, ready to defend the attack. By instinct, Charmander dived out the way just before Bulbasaur hit him. But, Bulbasaur couldn’t stop, and he skidded into a table. The table fell over, smashing a machine. Oak let out a gasp of horror. The Bulbasaur turned round, injured by his bump into the machine. Green was about to surrender, but Red persisted in trying to not just beat Green, but also crush him. Red took advantage of Green’s pause, and barked out another attack at Charmander.
“Charmander, use tackle attack!” Red said, trying to show up Green and Bulbasaur.
Charmander lowered down, and then ran at Bulbasaur extremely quickly. After three seconds, Charmander was nearing Bulbasaur incredibly quickly. Bulbasaur braced for the impact, but Green knew he had to defend somehow.
“Bulbasaur, jump over Charmander!” Green suggested. Bulbasaur did jump, but he jumped to quickly, so as he fell to the ground Charmander tackled into him, and Bulbasaur got the full impact of the attack. Bulbasaur went flying through the air, struggling to get back onto solid ground. Bulbasaur bashed into another machine that fell off its table backwards, destroying it as well. Oak was so angry that he didn’t know what to say.
I can’t take it anymore! Too many loud noises! God, it’s hurting my head! That’s it come on, push to the left, push to the right…
Oak noticed one of his Pokeballs wobbling on the table. Then suddenly, the Pokeball opened, and Pikachu came out of its Pokeball. Pikachu got ready…
“No Pikachu! Get back into you’re” Oak started, but didn’t finish.
“Pikachuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!” Pikachu said as it let out a thunder shock. It spread round the entire room, filling it with a bright yellow light. Everybody screamed in pain as electricity rushed through their bodies. When the devastating attack was over, everybody fell to the floor, unconscious.

And that is chapter two! And just to put you at peace of mind, no, Green will NOT receive Pikachu.

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,329 posts
18.7 Years
And just to put you at peace of mind, no, Green will NOT receive Pikachu.
Oh thank god. Pikachu is way OUed. Yes yes YES. *champagne!* XP

For the formatting part- You really must space our your paragraphs or I'm given the impression everything is basically scrunched up together. Also, some grammar errors...as this sentence, "Now-where was the old man's lab?" You didn't have to have the '-' but a comma instead. Also, some dialogues such as 'Thank you' such and such, make sure to insert a comma before the quotation mark, so it'll come out like this: "Thank you,"

As for Professor Oak, he was a bit OOC...I don't know if he would really act like that. ;/ One thing I enjoyed was that you made Pikachu an OOC character as well, and Green for once didn't like it and won't get it. *celebrates* A bulbasaur...hah a typical starter so I dun mind.

Red? Seeing Mew? I thought that was a bit too much, considering well...there were vague gaps. XD Your sentences were abrupt, so try combining them and adding more descriptions. ^^; For the first part, try not to rush with Green getting attacked...it makes the story a bit bluntly stated.

It's a nice ficcy, and good luck with the next chapter! My favorite character so far is Pikachu. ^___^

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.

emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing

Age 30
Seen August 3rd, 2008
Posted August 2nd, 2008
400 posts
19.1 Years
Thanks for the review! I appreciate the constructive critisicim! I'll try and improve my grammer, but it's never been my strong point. I have 2 questions about you're review though.

1. What does 'OOC' mean? Im really not used to internet slang.

2. What do you mean vauge gaps?

Thanks again for the review!

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,329 posts
18.7 Years
OOC means Out of Character. Basically means I thought Professor Oak wasn't acting like himself. >)

Vague gaps meaning there wasn't any explanation on...where MEW of all Pokemon suddenly decided to pop in the story.

o.O XP

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.