Pokemon Dreams: Kanto Beginnings

Started by PikaPal November 21st, 2004 6:35 PM
  • 1008 views
  • 12 replies
Female
La La Land
Seen September 1st, 2016
Posted May 22nd, 2012
2,002 posts
18.6 Years
ok, this is the first fan fiction I've ever written. I'm going to post it a chapter at a time, and I'll post character pictures at the start of every chapter.
Characters:
christina

Chapter One:

It was just after midnight. The winds were soft and calm and the stars shone as brightly as ever. The moon was bright, shining its light over the streets of Fuschia City, lighting up houses and windows. Staring through one such window was Christina Ryden. Christina was now officially 13 years old, a day she had been waiting for for a long time. Her dream is to travel the world and see all the pokemon and learn all she can about them, a dream shes had since 8, ever since she saw her first battle. She wants desperately to know how it feels to be side by side with your partner, battling the toughest opponents. She also has a secret dream, one no one else really know about; she wants to train and ride her very own Rapidash, galloping around, mane and tail flowing out in the wind. Christina wanted to start her journey exactly three years ago, when she turned 10, the "official" age of beginning trainers. But her parents thought she was too young to do so, and instead made her stay home and go to a pokemon school in Fuschia, where all they did was talk about strategies and types, stuff Christina alraedy knew.
But now that she was 13, shes old enough in her parents eyes to leave. But tonight as she stared out of her bedroom window, out into the streets of Fuschia, she had doubts. what if they say I'm not ready? she thought, what if I dont have what it takes? After all these years, whats one days difference than the rest? I've gotten so used to my boring life, why should today be any different? She folded her arms and rested her head on them, looking up into the stars. "I wonder if I'll ever see any new pokemon, or even train one," she said to her self, sighing. Her eyes felt heavy and she decided she should get to sleep. She lay down on her bed, pulling her covers over her, thinking about how one day, she'd know all about all kinds of pokemon, and how she'd be riding her awesome Rapidash.

(this is just half of chapter one, I'll post the rest when I have a chance)
"Life is a choice. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be" ~ Chuck Palahunik
Age 41
san fransisco
Seen April 26th, 2008
Posted March 16th, 2006
455 posts
18.6 Years
i must say that its seem like the best thing about writing a pokemon fic...you get to wrtie in your favreit pokemon and somewhat live the life you would want to with them. and i see this fic is much the same...and i love it ^_^

cant wait to see the other half
I Need a Pair ;-;
Thank You For The Sweet Animation Toto *Huggles*

Act

Let's Go Rangers!

Madison Square Garden
Seen March 16th, 2009
Posted December 15th, 2007
528 posts
18.5 Years
I don't know about here, but this is the most typical OT on ff.net. It usually breeds Sues. You're going to have to put extra effort into creating a unique character and plot.

original work
^click
fanfic
^click
livejournal

^click
deviantart
^click

with a mouth full of teeth, you ate all your friends
and you broke every heart thinking every heart mends

emeraldslay

Obsessed with Mew/writing

Age 30
Seen August 3rd, 2008
Posted August 2nd, 2008
400 posts
19.1 Years
I will, it gets WAY better, I was just too lazy to type the rest.
I'm sorry, but promises that the fic will get better are pointless. You cannot start with a not-so good beginning, and promise the climax will be great.

AAA! I'm turning into frosty! 0_o

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,329 posts
18.7 Years
Mewman; it's a good thing! ^-^()

I don't know about here, but this is the most typical OT on ff.net. It usually breeds Sues.
Indeed. :/

Don't type up half the fic and decide to post it...take your time, no one is forcing you to rush. Patience is an important element into writing. XP Also, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease paragraph. ;-; Like, when a new topic occurs, paragraphing is essential rather than stuffing everything inside one huge one. Laziness...? Wow, lol. Don't be, type up the whole thing, make sure it's decent and presentable, then post it up.

It's a cool concept of the Rapidash, but try like, providing the information more...descriptively I suppose. If you basically state it in the same monotone style, it gives me the impression of a summary, plus the fact there is only one paragraph for the fanfic?

My adcvice: type much more than that. >) Otherwise, good luck! ^__^~

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.
Desu no Aleph (Ah-LEP)
Seen February 10th, 2009
Posted July 20th, 2008
3,002 posts
18.7 Years
Looks pretty good so far.
yeah , I agree with Stripes. Oh , just to be the first half, make paragraphs! XD, anyway, like it is not the whole chapter, that's all I can say
LOOK AT ME!!!!! Good! now... leave me alone! XD

http://207.46.8.124/cgi-bin/getmsg/peke9%2ejpg?&msg=0D03E21B-1AE6-4797-90C9-C2E192C1F1EA&start=0&len=110892&mimepart=8&curmbox=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000001&b=aef3c92fab14f3194454a747cf05fce1&disk=10.1.106.215_d2924&login=maxz72&domain=hotmail%2ecom&_lang=EN&country=MX&SafeRedirect=%26hm___ts%3d1174535620%26hm___ha%3dad07d426dd387a236c308f7379efdad6
Go for it, kid!
Female
La La Land
Seen September 1st, 2016
Posted May 22nd, 2012
2,002 posts
18.6 Years
thanks guys:)
heres the rest of it, sorry it took me so long

Christina awoke to a loud chirping noise outside her window. She slowly opened her eyes, listening to the sound. She guessed from the high-pitched voice that it was a Taillow. Looking outside, she saw that she was correct. "Go away," she mumbled sleepily, "I wanna sleep." When the noise wouldnt stop, she got up. "Thee, happy now?" she grumbled at the bird. The taillow just stared at her and cocked its head. Christina looked past the bird and out into the streets of Fuschia City. It was light outside, but not too light. Looking at her clock, she saw that it was only 6:30am. Still half asleep, she stared outside. After a few minutes of mindless staring, she realized what day it was; her 13th birthday. "Oh my gosh!" she yelled, scaring the Taillow who flew away. "Ive got to get ready!" She was to head over to the Pokemon school of Fuschia, where she would meet her first pokemon. Her teacher, Mrs Harold, had matched her with the perfect pokemon, and today was the day she would meet it.
After throwing on her jeans, purple tank top, tennis shoes and baseball cap, Christina ran down the staris and out the door. She did NOT want to be late!
Christina sprinted down the road and down to the school. As she got closer, she slowed down. She thought about last night. "Todays going to be like every other day," she said to herself, "why would just ONE day be any different than the rest?" She waited 5 years to get her very first pokemon, why should today be the day? She was outside the school now, and she gazed up at it. It was a tall brick building, with three stories. She walked up the steps to the front doors, and as she clasped the handle, she took a deep breath. Then, she went inside.
"Life is a choice. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be" ~ Chuck Palahunik
Age 29
Stop asking things like that!!!
Seen January 4th, 2005
Posted December 31st, 2004
2,612 posts
18.7 Years
Reviewing time!

Length - short. Not the shortest chapter that I've seen, but too short. If you might publish it, the editor would say make it MUCH longer. And I'm not sure if you are using microsoft word.

Description - I can't see any. What does background looks like and what emotion or feeling do your character have?

Spelling - nothing wrong.

Paragraph - it's squished. Seperate it.

I'm not trying too be rude or anything. That's just the way I review it.

~~~E.U~~~
[sig-disable]..[/sig-disable]