Poetic Differences

Started by Project. September 23rd, 2010 1:15 PM
  • 894 views
  • 6 replies
Age 29
Female
Seen November 5th, 2010
Posted November 5th, 2010
180 posts
12.7 Years
Poetry is portrayed in many different ways, but the way you display it is the way it will be heard.

(i feel so cool, because I actually made that up)

Please enjoy. Feel free to comment/compliment/criticize my work. Some of these are from a while ago. In fact, all of these are from a while ago.

On a Hawaiian Winter Day
On a Hawaiian Winter Day,
Where the snow is black sand,
Where the sun shines brightly,
It's a pleasant sight to see.

The refreshing ocean breeze,
From the endless blue waters,
Rejuvenates the soul,
And your body is reborn.

When night falls,
The torches are lit,
We gather around the bonfire,
And dance the night away.

When the sun arises,
Morning has come,
I look out my window,
To see the beautiful horizon.

I go down to the beach,
And lay in the sand,
I doze off to the serenity,
Of the clear ocean blue.

Though it may be Winter,
It feels no different,
Because it's always the same,
Down here in Hawaii.


Stars
When the moon arises
and sunlight subsides,
Everything is dark in the sky
Except the luminating stars

The great Betelgeuse,
Red and large
Not far from its end
I'll embrace what I can

The shining Sirius,
White and bright
Close but far
In unimaginable ways

The amazing Arcturus
Orange and red
It stands out unique
Unlike the other stars

Even though they seem so small
Back here on planet Earth
Some are million times larger
Then our very own Sol.

Illusion
What should I call you?
What should you look like?
Even if you don't exist
Who will I have?

You were my best friend
You soothed me in my pain
You played with me in history
But now those days are over

Day by day you faded away
Soon you were not there
I had no one to help me
I was in total despair.

I woke up one morning
And I looked out the window
A park with avid life
But now that is all gone.

I wake up now to see
The families begging by the street
The park filled with burning trash cans
Now that you are gone,

My life is an illusion.
[ p a r a d e ]
of destiny

The sovereign parade of destiny
infiltrates the society of the
human thought. The parade

that travels throughout the
mind affects you in a negative,

undesirable control.


Age 29
Male
Seen October 13th, 2021
Posted February 2nd, 2017
1,093 posts
13.8 Years
On a Hawaiian Winter Day - My word! Simply beautiful!
It's flow and wonder is undeniable!

Stars - I adore how you make reference to some of the well known stars in astronomy.
I have a home telescope at home that I use sometimes.
"Oh, astronomy,
It is my hobby."
:cer_wink:

Illusion - It has a bizarre style to it. Very nicely written!
Age 29
Female
Seen November 5th, 2010
Posted November 5th, 2010
180 posts
12.7 Years
Thank you! I also do have one at home, I tend to use it often. In fact when I woke up really early this morning Orion was out so I took my pair of binocs to take a look :)

I'll write some more poems and post 'em here. Thanks for the comments!
[ p a r a d e ]
of destiny

The sovereign parade of destiny
infiltrates the society of the
human thought. The parade

that travels throughout the
mind affects you in a negative,

undesirable control.


Age 29
Female
Seen November 5th, 2010
Posted November 5th, 2010
180 posts
12.7 Years
Yes. I've had this telescope since April, and since I never get to use it much because of the light pollution in my area, I left it at my other house where you can see lots more DSOs. Orion is one of my favorites because it's bright and the Nebula was actually my 2nd deep sky object... Andromeda being the first. Skies are a mysterious but fascinating place :P
[ p a r a d e ]
of destiny

The sovereign parade of destiny
infiltrates the society of the
human thought. The parade

that travels throughout the
mind affects you in a negative,

undesirable control.


mervyn797

What? I'm right here. >D

Male
Seen November 28th, 2011
Posted December 3rd, 2010
1,696 posts
14.2 Years
I just read your poems. /late. :P
Your works are amazing. When I read the title "Illusion" I never expected what contained in the poem. I was expecting a narrative one. :P Just as TJgamer rightly put it, :It has a bizarre style to it."

Stars, this one is good as well. I'm not really much into astronomy. :P

Hawaiian Winter, another amazing poem. You have described it in a really vivid way. It is my favourite out of the three.

StarsWhen the moon arises
and sunlight subsides,
Put the title in a seperate line, and capitalize the the first word of the second line. :)
Age 29
Female
Seen November 5th, 2010
Posted November 5th, 2010
180 posts
12.7 Years
Oh lol, what a silly error.

Sorry about that. I haven't had much time with these poems but I'll try to get some time to get more time in.

That didnt make sense lol.
[ p a r a d e ]
of destiny

The sovereign parade of destiny
infiltrates the society of the
human thought. The parade

that travels throughout the
mind affects you in a negative,

undesirable control.