Raven

Started by Starr Leonhart October 18th, 2010 11:10 AM
  • 629 views
  • 5 replies

Starr Leonhart

Summertime <3

Age 25
Female
Not at your house.
Seen August 8th, 2017
Posted June 24th, 2013
54 posts
14.5 Years
I wrote this poem for the Halloween season.

Raven

Raven hated this season,
But she had not a reason.

The decor and lights,
Sent her into fright.

The screams and shouts,
From small children, no doubt,

Made her cringe and gasp,
A silent scream, she did rasp.

"Halloween doesn't agree with me",
she said, eyes closed, solemnly.

Raven hated this season,
But she had not a reason.

But with a little candy corn,
She looked at the season with a little less scorn.

Read and review!
I love Castle.

Starr Leonhart

Summertime <3

Age 25
Female
Not at your house.
Seen August 8th, 2017
Posted June 24th, 2013
54 posts
14.5 Years
It may not be perfect, but it fits well with the Halloween mood.
I found it very humorous too.
yeah. it isn't my best. it was kinda spur of the moment too.
thanks anyway!
I love Castle.
Age 28
Male
'.' Why would I say?
Seen January 4th, 2013
Posted December 25th, 2010
71 posts
12.6 Years
I liked it, it seemed like an upbeat kind of poem that could easily cheer me up, despite the subject. One thing I found (and perhaps I'm just reading it wrong)

"Halloween doesn't agree with me",
she said, eyes closed, and solemnly.

That 'and' in there, right before solemnly? It seems to mess up the rhythm. Taking it out makes it flow better. But that's just my opinion, I understand how most people dislike editing a poem once it's finished.

Starr Leonhart

Summertime <3

Age 25
Female
Not at your house.
Seen August 8th, 2017
Posted June 24th, 2013
54 posts
14.5 Years
I liked it, it seemed like an upbeat kind of poem that could easily cheer me up, despite the subject. One thing I found (and perhaps I'm just reading it wrong)


That 'and' in there, right before solemnly? It seems to mess up the rhythm. Taking it out makes it flow better. But that's just my opinion, I understand how most people dislike editing a poem once it's finished.
that sounds much better! thanks so much!
i'll change it.
I love Castle.