The Post Your Problems Thread Page 17

Started by Livewire December 2nd, 2010 9:39 PM
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  • 426 replies

miltankRancher

Mega Ampharos is the one.

Age 27
Male
Philippines
Seen June 11th, 2014
Posted September 7th, 2013
3,947 posts
13 Years
That's bad lacelaa. sorry to hear that. :(

exercising is a rather good idea. make yourself fitter and let your boyfriend see how he should regret breaking up with the cutest PC member.

but shunning away civilization is not good. you need to go out. you have friends that can REALLY help you throughout. Trust me, I speak from experience. and there are still great guys out there. look for the right one.

my problem is kind of simple. I can't find the molarity of NaOH. :\

I am a Roleplayer


...and I am PROUD of it.
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Yoshikko

the princess has awoken while the prince sleeps on

Female
Seen April 27th, 2020
Posted February 6th, 2020
3,065 posts
11.8 Years
Exercising is actually a good way to get over it, since exercise releases endorphines in your brain, don't over-do it though. Swimming can be pretty good to put your mind at ease as well and it's the best exercise there is. Eat lots of iron-rich food!

lacella

monsters & macarons.

Female
Seen January 21st, 2012
Posted January 4th, 2012
141 posts
11.5 Years
yes sirs and ma'ams!!!

xD i've actually been getting in touch with my highschool friends again which is really nice :3 and the boy and i have been working stuff out through communication, we had another tiff last night but i really think we will be okay, so thanks everyone here who listened to my bawwing xDDD

yoshi, that's perfect advice actually, even my doctor tells me to eat more iron!

good luck miltank... i have no idea how to xD

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miltankRancher

Mega Ampharos is the one.

Age 27
Male
Philippines
Seen June 11th, 2014
Posted September 7th, 2013
3,947 posts
13 Years
lacella. thanks! but I already managed how.

anyway, I have a problem of managing my time very well. It's divided very illogically. My time for extra things are more than what is important (like PC time > acads time) any suggestions?

off-topic. 1000th post \m/

I am a Roleplayer


...and I am PROUD of it.
Lanistae Jacet [Lies of a Trainer]

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
Congrats miltankRancher!

Also, I disagree with the exercise thing lol - I know the whole world and science disagrees with me, but all I find exercise does is make me hot and sweaty. I've yet to feel an endorphin from going for a run (or hell, even a walk lol)
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Yoshikko

the princess has awoken while the prince sleeps on

Female
Seen April 27th, 2020
Posted February 6th, 2020
3,065 posts
11.8 Years
@ Miltankrancher - Try to schedule it. Just make a planning for yourself, on paper, put it on your wall, anything that will provide a little structure for you to rely on. I have ADHD so I know how hard it can be to plan in your time well, and set priorities, and even though this might be a childish solution, it will really help you. You could even cross the day out if you managed to stick to your planning, and then at the end of the week you can see how well you did. It gives you a little more consistency so try it out.

Also Andy it's not really a matter of agreeing lol, it is a fact XD You might not feel it (right away, or at all), but it's still true lol.

Razer302

Three Days Grace - Break

Age 32
England
Seen November 22nd, 2022
Posted December 13th, 2018
3,368 posts
17.1 Years
Is it me or are girls completely confusing?
A friend of my best friend asked me on a date. So we go on the date and after she tells both me and my best friend she likes me. Then yesterday she decideds she just wants to be friends but then tells me I'm the only person that understands who she really is and notices the stuff and can read her like a book. shes confusing me completely and I hate that. Am I being played or is she just actually confused as I know he last relationship ended very badly.
Age 29
Seen November 5th, 2017
Posted November 5th, 2017
3,499 posts
14.8 Years
Is it me or are girls completely confusing?
A friend of my best friend asked me on a date. So we go on the date and after she tells both me and my best friend she likes me. Then yesterday she decideds she just wants to be friends but then tells me I'm the only person that understands who she really is and notices the stuff and can read her like a book. shes confusing me completely and I hate that. Am I being played or is she just actually confused as I know he last relationship ended very badly.
Unless she's doing a similar thing with other guys, it seems like she does like you at least a little. Why else would she ask you on a date? She either is apprehensive for any form of relationship, or still not sure if she does like you enough for that. Either way, the fact she asked you on a date then essentially gave you a friendzone line after it isn't exactly a positive indicator of what she can be like.

The question is, do you like her? If it's confusing like this so early on, it's probably not going to be easy. Do you like her enough to put extra effort in? If yes, then you make a move and see how she reacts. If no, get out of theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.

Yoshikko

the princess has awoken while the prince sleeps on

Female
Seen April 27th, 2020
Posted February 6th, 2020
3,065 posts
11.8 Years
Okay so, I don't know if this really counts as a problem or anything but I want to know if other people might have it or if they know what I'm talking about, when I say that I have an extreme sense of justice and that whenever I do something bad, I feel a great need to punish myself for that because otherwise it wouldn't be evened out/fair/righteous. And I'm talking about physical "punishment", like overexercising or wearing myself out or making bruises, stuff like that. And it is like salvation. I feel like I deserve pain when I do something bad and it feels good because it gives me a feeling of justice.

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
Okay so, I don't know if this really counts as a problem or anything but I want to know if other people might have it or if they know what I'm talking about, when I say that I have an extreme sense of justice and that whenever I do something bad, I feel a great need to punish myself for that because otherwise it wouldn't be evened out/fair/righteous. And I'm talking about physical "punishment", like overexercising or wearing myself out or making bruises, stuff like that. And it is like salvation. I feel like I deserve pain when I do something bad and it feels good because it gives me a feeling of justice.
If you're hurting yourself then, yes, this counts as a problem.

I understand feeling a need to punish yourself when you do something bad (I think most people do to some degree), but I gotta say it's worrying to hear that you're mixing your sense of justice with physical punishment. I mean, some people like pain, if you know what I mean, and that's fine, but I think that's a case of people choosing it, not feeling they have to have it. Your feeling that you need to be physically punished worries me.

I have no idea what you think is "bad" and deserves punishment, and I don't want to preach to you what's right and wrong, but I would wish that you'd hold off on the physical punishment, at the very least the part about making bruises. I'd like to tell you that you should just try not to do bad things in the first place so you wouldn't need to punish yourself, but I get that there's a kind of satisfaction in doing that which can become pretty gratifying over time. I've had some experience in that area myself. Still, I can't help but think it would be best overall if you didn't see yourself as someone who needs to be punished, you know? Speaking from my own experiences I feel like I was being overly hard on myself and seeing more faults than were really there. I'm kind of assuming that when you say you do bad things that maybe some of them aren't really as bad as they seem to you so I'm kinda pushing you to see yourself in a better light.

I hope I didn't totally misinterpret things here.

Yoshikko

the princess has awoken while the prince sleeps on

Female
Seen April 27th, 2020
Posted February 6th, 2020
3,065 posts
11.8 Years
If you're hurting yourself then, yes, this counts as a problem.

I understand feeling a need to punish yourself when you do something bad (I think most people do to some degree), but I gotta say it's worrying to hear that you're mixing your sense of justice with physical punishment. I mean, some people like pain, if you know what I mean, and that's fine, but I think that's a case of people choosing it, not feeling they have to have it. Your feeling that you need to be physically punished worries me.

I have no idea what you think is "bad" and deserves punishment, and I don't want to preach to you what's right and wrong, but I would wish that you'd hold off on the physical punishment, at the very least the part about making bruises. I'd like to tell you that you should just try not to do bad things in the first place so you wouldn't need to punish yourself, but I get that there's a kind of satisfaction in doing that which can become pretty gratifying over time. I've had some experience in that area myself. Still, I can't help but think it would be best overall if you didn't see yourself as someone who needs to be punished, you know? Speaking from my own experiences I feel like I was being overly hard on myself and seeing more faults than were really there. I'm kind of assuming that when you say you do bad things that maybe some of them aren't really as bad as they seem to you so I'm kinda pushing you to see yourself in a better light.

I hope I didn't totally misinterpret things here.
It's like, not even really hurting myself (not at all, maybe I made it sound like I was being sad and inflicting self harm or anything but that's not it lol) or wanting to feel pain, it's just like, that I get this feeling I'm playing life unfair if I don't get back what I deserve for my actions. And not in the sense of that I feel like I need to be punished but more that I just can't stand unfairness, so much to the extent that I'd be willing to do this sorta stuff, just to even it out and then I can feel at ease again. You could compare it with a situation where a person lied, and they start to feel so bad about themselves because they did that they eventally can't stand it anymore and come clear, and it's like a relief. Well that's kind of how it is. Like you said, it's just that I'm very harsh on myself and thinking 'okay this was wrong, you can set it right again', if I do something "wrong" lol.

For example if I skip a class yeah, (light example here lol), then when I get home I feel bad about it and I make myself do something that I dislike (like dishes or cleaning my room etc) to even it out, because I got to enjoy a free hour while I actually didn't deserve that, so by doing something like cleaning my room, it's evened out again. I hope I'm even making sense here lol. also thanks for answering

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
It's like, not even really hurting myself (not at all, maybe I made it sound like I was being sad and inflicting self harm or anything but that's not it lol) or wanting to feel pain, it's just like, that I get this feeling I'm playing life unfair if I don't get back what I deserve for my actions. And not in the sense of that I feel like I need to be punished but more that I just can't stand unfairness, so much to the extent that I'd be willing to do this sorta stuff, just to even it out and then I can feel at ease again. You could compare it with a situation where a person lied, and they start to feel so bad about themselves because they did that they eventally can't stand it anymore and come clear, and it's like a relief. Well that's kind of how it is. Like you said, it's just that I'm very harsh on myself and thinking 'okay this was wrong, you can set it right again', if I do something "wrong" lol.

For example if I skip a class yeah, (light example here lol), then when I get home I feel bad about it and I make myself do something that I dislike (like dishes or cleaning my room etc) to even it out, because I got to enjoy a free hour while I actually didn't deserve that, so by doing something like cleaning my room, it's evened out again. I hope I'm even making sense here lol. also thanks for answering
Oh, I think I understand better now. Sorry 'bout what I said before. I was just, you know, worried that you were causing yourself harm and just not quite coming out and saying it.

So do you not want to always be so harsh on yourself for everything wrong you do? 'Cause there are two ways of going about changing that. Either stop doing things you know are bad or stop feeling so bad after you do them. (I think the first option is best, jsyk.)
Age 30
Male
Seen June 28th, 2019
Posted December 13th, 2015
3,801 posts
13.4 Years
Let's see here, my mom's car was basically totaled not once but twice this week, I was involved in the first car crash on monday morning this week due to the road being covered in black ice and the car spinning out of control all over the ice covered road, almost lost my right arm if it wasn't for the double layered jacket I was wearing at the time. Had to get a new tire for the first accident.

Second time was last night as mom was driving the car back home through the freeway around nighttime, slipped on the black ice again and ended up hitting a tree and effectively ruining at least a few components of the front of the car now. So I've been taking nearly a week off from school due to having no working car now and trust me, it's nowhere near as lavish as it sounds. Winter is overrated.

Not sure if this would count as a problem but it's been a really ****ing ****** month in general.

Yoshikko

the princess has awoken while the prince sleeps on

Female
Seen April 27th, 2020
Posted February 6th, 2020
3,065 posts
11.8 Years
Oh, I think I understand better now. Sorry 'bout what I said before. I was just, you know, worried that you were causing yourself harm and just not quite coming out and saying it.

So do you not want to always be so harsh on yourself for everything wrong you do? 'Cause there are two ways of going about changing that. Either stop doing things you know are bad or stop feeling so bad after you do them. (I think the first option is best, jsyk.)
Nah it's fine lol <3

And you're probably right, even though that like .. even the tiniest things make me feel like I've done a bad thing, even if they aren't even considerable, so I'll probably have to get rid of that feeling that even if something is only slightly not-good, it's not something that I'd have to feel guilty about. And yeah the first one is a better option XD Thank you <3

lacella

monsters &amp; macarons.

Female
Seen January 21st, 2012
Posted January 4th, 2012
141 posts
11.5 Years
Unless she's doing a similar thing with other guys, it seems like she does like you at least a little. Why else would she ask you on a date? She either is apprehensive for any form of relationship, or still not sure if she does like you enough for that. Either way, the fact she asked you on a date then essentially gave you a friendzone line after it isn't exactly a positive indicator of what she can be like.

The question is, do you like her? If it's confusing like this so early on, it's probably not going to be easy. Do you like her enough to put extra effort in? If yes, then you make a move and see how she reacts. If no, get out of theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.
yeah i agree with this completely. i've figured out that in relationships it's a huge chunk of really figuring out what you want. so if you wanna be with her, go for it, simplify things and tell her how you feel, if you don't, it doesn't matter whether or not she's playing a game - don't pursue!

|| tumblr || writing || cute || trouble ||
thank you luke for italicizing my name! xx
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seeker

Ireland
Seen November 1st, 2019
Posted May 20th, 2018
10,593 posts
14.1 Years
I've been depressed for a month and a half now. And this feeling really sucks. It's all because of love~ Don't cheat on the ones who love you, it hurts so bad.
Well if you've really been depressed, it's most likely a circumstantial thing. Which will pass in time. You currently have a void in which you haven't been able to remedy. Not saying that you need to find someone else, but you need to find something that will help you move on. However if your intentions are to find yourself back with the person, well there's a question you must ask yourself; if you truly love someone would you have reason, motive or decision to cheat on them? I simply believe that if you had any sense of what you were doing you would never let yourself do that if you love someone. So perhaps you need to think through the situation a little. It's too subjective for me to question your love for someone, and I'm not going to do that.

Remember, you're young. And remember that what you experienced is not going to be the best thing you'll ever have, and whether you're with him in the future again, or someone else, if you choose to work on how you look at things then you will move towards being happy again. The only thing I can say is that you should stop wallowing in it, I know it may be really hard, but you need to take action or else this bad feeling will consume you and you will only get worse and worse.

The Author

The Hero of Knothole Glade

Age 25
Male
Knothole Glade
Seen August 15th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
381 posts
11.6 Years
To think this started over a Language Arts assignment....

My stepmother was going over all of my schoolwork to make sure that I had correctly completed it all, as usual (I go to an online school). There were some assignments that she didn't have any physical work for. These were to language arts assignments that I had submitted to my teacher electronically. Apparently she wanted physical proof that the short story I wrote was edited. So, I didn't mean to, but it appeared to her that I was giving her attitude, so she came over to slap me. Naturally, I blocked it, which just made her more angry.

NOTE: My stepmother is pregnant, therefore has frequent mood swings.

Now, the first block is usually by instinct, but after that I do it consciously because at that point I know it will hurt. At one point she was pulling my hair (the little hair I do have. She tends to cut it off when she's angry. I prefer my hair long.) so I grabbed her wrists to try to pull her away.

She reported that as "cutting off circulation" which was "assault".

Later, she was screaming at me to get out of the house, and when I just stood there, she pushed me over, causing me to topple onto my two-year-old brother.

Apparently that was me "attacking" him.

So eventually she grabbed me and pushed me out the door, and when I tried to come back outside, she pushed the door back shut. Later she opened the door.

"Do you have anything to say?" she asked, fuming.
"No, not really." I responded quietly.

She then slammed the door. Later she opened the door again. She basically said I can either come back inside and say I'm sorry for assaulting her or she's calling the police. I said I never assaulted her. She just said "Fine." and slammed the door yet again. A few moments later she opened the door one last time to remind me that the police were on their way.

I waited a while for the police to come, the whole time praying for God to give me the words to say. Eventually, after standing out in the cold in a short-sleeved shirt for what was at least half an hour, the policeman finally came.

"Guessing you're the reason I'm here?" He asked.
I knew this wasn't going to be fun.

The policeman was very one-sided and didn't really care to hear my story. And when he asked me about it, I knew anything I said my parents (my father had been woken up by the dispute) would deny, so I said very little, and watched my stepmother blatantly lie to the policeman. Apparently I kneed her in the stomach, which I don't exactly remember, but when she told the policeman that he just looked at me and asked "Are you stupid?". It was hard not to say anything right there.

The policeman let me off with a warning.


Here is some of the problems:
  • My stepmother wants to be a foster parent, and I don't want her to lose her dream.
  • My parents could easily deny anything said against them, true or false.
  • I really don't want to end up in a foster home.
  • ...or juvenile hall for that matter.
  • I don't want this to affect my half-brother or my father.
  • We don't have the money for counseling.
  • I can't talk to my parents about anything because they find a way to use everything against me.
  • I really want this to end.
  • I'm only 13.
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Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
A very unpleasant problem
What you're describing sounds like abuse. It's not right, in any case.

Does it seem like your mother ever feels bad about what she's doing or that she seems to understand what she's doing isn't right? If so you could try to talk with her and tell her what she's doing is hurting you. You might be able to find a solution if she realized what she's doing. But don't do that if it doesn't seem safe. If she seems like she'll always get angry it's best to find help elsewhere.

Unfortunately I can't say you should speak to a teacher since you're not going to an in-person school. Is there any adult you can talk to about this? Maybe a neighbor or a priest (if you're religious/go to church/whatever). It sounds like you had trouble telling the police officer what happened because your mother was right there so if you can find a chance to talk with an adult you can trust (like an aunt or uncle or grandparent even) without your parents around that seems like it would be good. Even if you can't get hold of an adult try to talk with anyone you can trust who will listen to you. I know you might not have many choices, but if you can you want to talk to someone who really has their act together and seems sensible and fair. They'll likely believe you, or at the very least they won't assume you're lying and give you a fair chance.

It may not be a problem that can be fixed immediately so you might have to come up with a way of coping with your situation. It seems as though you have some level of freedom when it comes to internet access so you might want to use it as a place to vent where you parents won't see it. But really you shouldn't have to put up with this.

The Author

The Hero of Knothole Glade

Age 25
Male
Knothole Glade
Seen August 15th, 2013
Posted May 13th, 2013
381 posts
11.6 Years
What you're describing sounds like abuse. It's not right, in any case.

Does it seem like your mother ever feels bad about what she's doing or that she seems to understand what she's doing isn't right? If so you could try to talk with her and tell her what she's doing is hurting you. You might be able to find a solution if she realized what she's doing. But don't do that if it doesn't seem safe. If she seems like she'll always get angry it's best to find help elsewhere.

Unfortunately I can't say you should speak to a teacher since you're not going to an in-person school. Is there any adult you can talk to about this? Maybe a neighbor or a priest (if you're religious/go to church/whatever). It sounds like you had trouble telling the police officer what happened because your mother was right there so if you can find a chance to talk with an adult you can trust (like an aunt or uncle or grandparent even) without your parents around that seems like it would be good. Even if you can't get hold of an adult try to talk with anyone you can trust who will listen to you. I know you might not have many choices, but if you can you want to talk to someone who really has their act together and seems sensible and fair. They'll likely believe you, or at the very least they won't assume you're lying and give you a fair chance.

It may not be a problem that can be fixed immediately so you might have to come up with a way of coping with your situation. It seems as though you have some level of freedom when it comes to internet access so you might want to use it as a place to vent where you parents won't see it. But really you shouldn't have to put up with this.
Talking to my parents would just make things worse.
I have an aunt coming to visit pretty soon, and she's been concerned about this problem. I once got a laptop from her for Christmas (used), so when I was on it I found some email she sent to my church's (at the time) youth pastor. I talked to her about it later and she said to delete it immediately.

The only reason I have freedom on the internet is, well, I technically don't. I'm doing all of this on a school computer (as I said, I go to an internet school). I'm only allowed to use it for school purposes, but....

Thank you very much for your advice! :cer_smile:
The Disciple
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The Transcendentalist

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Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018

Talking to my parents would just make things worse.
I have an aunt coming to visit pretty soon, and she's been concerned about this problem. I once got a laptop from her for Christmas (used), so when I was on it I found some email she sent to my church's (at the time) youth pastor. I talked to her about it later and she said to delete it immediately.

The only reason I have freedom on the internet is, well, I technically don't. I'm doing all of this on a school computer (as I said, I go to an internet school). I'm only allowed to use it for school purposes, but....

Thank you very much for your advice! :cer_smile:
I'm glad you'll get a chance to talk to your aunt and that it seems like she already understands what's going on. I don't know exactly what she could do to help, but hopefully there will be something. If it doesn't seem like she has much power to change things then maybe you could ask her to come over more, you know, so that your mother will have to act more responsibly more often. Maybe you can ask if she could get anyone else involved, someone you parents would listen to. I know you don't want to make things hard on your family, but if things get worse you need to think about your safety first. That is more important than anything else.

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh

Age 31
Male
Flat Rock, MI, United States
Seen September 25th, 2016
Posted May 27th, 2012
1,254 posts
12.4 Years
My great grandpa, whom I call Papaw, unexpectedly died last night. He had just gotten home from the hospital for pancreatitis. It seemed like he was doing better, so this death was highly unexpected and a big shocker for the entire family.