The Post Your Problems Thread Page 2

Started by Livewire December 2nd, 2010 9:39 PM
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  • 426 replies
Age 28
Male
Seen January 23rd, 2011
Posted January 23rd, 2011
94 posts
13 Years
Hi.
So, there's this girl I've liked back since October. I told her I liked her, and she thought I was sweet but didn't really feel the same seeing as she didn't really know me very well.
As time wore on, she told me she liked me, but also some other guy. I liked her, still, and another girl. I decided that I liked her more than the other girl.
She decided she liked the other guy more than me. I did ask her to choose though, because I didn't want false hope. We kinda argued, but then made up.
She broke up with her boyfriend, due to numerous reasons.
I told her I liked her again, but she didn't particualarly respond, mainly because she'd just split up with her BF.
And now she's told me she's going to college on Monday, and dropping out of sixth form. Because I'm an emotional wreck I feel so down about it, and actually want to cry... I think I need to tell her how I feel about her.. again.. because I think she may feel the same. I know it sounds stupid seeing how many times I've told her that I like her, but I've got to try once more I guess...

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years

Hi JackGamer.

Well, you must understand that it is a tough time for her and she might need her space. I guess it depends on what she is like. She might not like being told constantly but then again, she might like her space.

Is she moving away or is she still living in the same place, but just going to a different college?

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years

Well, all is not lost. At least she isn't moving away.

One thing that might be good is to take her out, not like a date, but more to show that you are there. Get her mind off things. Go for a nice walk or somewhere she likes. Might help clear her thoughts, and if you think it is the right time, then maybe discuss how you feel. Just don't force it on her.

Shiny

monster tamer streamer

Age 28
He/him
melbourne
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
4,037 posts
17 Years
Okay. So it's been a really weird night for me. I was on facebook talking to a guy that graduated from my high school in 2010. So we're talking and he said that I was sexy. So after a conversation, iunno what to do. Like I always thought he was hot and all, but I never thought this would ever happen.

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
Okay. So it's been a really weird night for me. I was on facebook talking to a guy that graduated from my high school in 2010. So we're talking and he said that I was sexy. So after a conversation, iunno what to do. Like I always thought he was hot and all, but I never thought this would ever happen.

Never thought what would happen?
From the sounds of it, it just sounds like you were talking, not a big deal, is it?

Shiny

monster tamer streamer

Age 28
He/him
melbourne
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
4,037 posts
17 Years
I never thought he'd like, be into me or anything like that.

And the conversation was about him being bi and curious and him being into me and such.

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
I never thought he'd like, be into me or anything like that.

And the conversation was about him being bi and curious and him being into me and such.

Oh, ok. Well, is there any reason for him opening up to you like that? Have you spoke a lot? He might be trying to get your attention?

Shiny

monster tamer streamer

Age 28
He/him
melbourne
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
4,037 posts
17 Years
We've been at the same school for four years and we've talked every now and then, we had mutual friends. And by the sounds of it, he sounds like he wants me to help him figure out his sexuality : X

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
We've been at the same school for four years and we've talked every now and then, we had mutual friends. And by the sounds of it, he sounds like he wants me to help him figure out his sexuality : X

Well, if you are friends then that would explain him confiding in you. Then he might well want you to help him and sort his head out.

Do you want to though?

Shiny

monster tamer streamer

Age 28
He/him
melbourne
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
4,037 posts
17 Years
I kind of want to. For some unkwown reason I'm hesitant...

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
I kind of want to. For some unkwown reason I'm hesitant...

Well, that is a normal reaction I guess. Since he has just suddenly blurted this out. I would advise you just to keep an eye on what he says. Try not to get too involved and just see where he goes with it. Give him your personal advice if he asks for it, but just see.

That is what I would do.

Kura

twitter.com/puccarts

Age 33
Female
London, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted August 24th, 2021
10,993 posts
18.7 Years
We've been at the same school for four years and we've talked every now and then, we had mutual friends. And by the sounds of it, he sounds like he wants me to help him figure out his sexuality : X
o_o This instantly screamed out booty-call to me. Haha perhaps it was just the phrasing. I agree with what Captain Fabio says. There's no harm in just chatting away. If he's genuinely interested, he's not going to suddenly change his mind because you didn't jump for him right away. Just be honest with yourself, and do what YOU want, don't do things just for not wanting to miss an opportunity, because you might regret them. Because you want this to be a RELATIONSHIP, right? Not just him using you for fun or to figure himself out, because that might end up hurting you. But if you want that, too, just make sure you've decided what you expect out of him. You don't have to say it right away or anything but just keep it in mind for now.
Just take it slow and easy and try to make your feelings clear and heard. Don't jump into things. Captain Fabio gives some good advice.
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Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
Just take it slow and easy and try to make your feelings clear and heard. Don't jump into things. Captain Fabio gives some good advice.

I am glad you think so. I have just had a lot of life experience for a 21 year old, so I like to pass that onto people if they need it and I can think very logically when it comes to problems, as I always use to help my friends if they had problems.

I SHOULD BE THE PROBLEM GURU! XD

professor plum

Age 31
he/him/his
louisiana
Seen 16 Hours Ago
Posted 6 Days Ago
11,979 posts
17.9 Years
We've been at the same school for four years and we've talked every now and then, we had mutual friends. And by the sounds of it, he sounds like he wants me to help him figure out his sexuality : X
I've talked with a lot of guys about their sexuality, believe it or not, and it doesn't always have to end in sexual relations. Albeit, he said he thought you were sexy, so...yeah. Is he very straight-acting, or what?
I mean, just talk to him and help him with his identity. If something more comes from it, what the heck? Life's too short.

Just...make sure he's clean. XD
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Age 27
Male
Seen March 6th, 2013
Posted May 22nd, 2012
635 posts
14.9 Years
Just over 2 months ago I posted (in the old thread) how I had a crush on a guy i knew in the year below me, how he found out about this and how he seemed to be avoiding me. My question being whether I should talk to him about it.

Since then, I found out that he felt the same way, and that he was avoiding me because he didn't know how to say it. About 6 weeks ago, we started dating. His parents know, and they at the very least pretend to like me. My parent didn't know I was Bisexual until the christmas period and have gradually come 'round to it, but they still don't know about Jake. I want to tell them, but I'd think they'd be really quite miffed if I was going out with someone before I even came out to them.

Should I tell them how long we've been going out or wait a week or two and introduce him as a relatively new boyfriend?


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Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
Just over 2 months ago I posted (in the old thread) how I had a crush on a guy i knew in the year below me, how he found out about this and how he seemed to be avoiding me. My question being whether I should talk to him about it.

Since then, I found out that he felt the same way, and that he was avoiding me because he didn't know how to say it. About 6 weeks ago, we started dating. His parents know, and they at the very least pretend to like me. My parent didn't know I was Bisexual until the christmas period and have gradually come 'round to it, but they still don't know about Jake. I want to tell them, but I'd think they'd be really quite miffed if I was going out with someone before I even came out to them.

Should I tell them how long we've been going out or wait a week or two and introduce him as a relatively new boyfriend?

Ouch, ok, this is a very sensitive subject, so I will do my very best to help.

Their child's sexuality is a very touchy subject when it comes to a lot of parents. There can be many reasons why. It can be because they feel like they have brought up their child in the wrong way, that they have impacted on them incorrectly, the father can feel like he has failed his son and that the mother has failed their daughter, but a lot of the time, it has nothing to do to them. Feelings for the same sex can be very normal, as I am sure everyone has questioned their own sexuality at some point, even if it is for a second, it is a normal part of puberty. The decision of that person is down to them, but the hard part can be getting people to accept it, since it has been shunned and hated for many years.

My advice, and that is all it is, is to think how long has it taken your parents to come around to the fact that you are bisexual? How did they take it? How did they find out? Did they want to discuss it at all or were they dismissive, like they might have thought it was just a phase?
I know this situation is about you, but you should take into consideration your parents feelings, as I am sure you will. They have raised you to have the best life, I am sure, and they only want what is best for you. So a bit of courtesy on your behalf wouldn't go a miss when breaking the news to them.
I would first talk to them about your feelings. Tell them what you are going through, I am sure they will be supportive and want to talk to you about it.

Relationships is something that a lot of teenagers and younger adults keep from their parents, straight or gay, hell, I still do it. Not because of shame or embarrassment, but for me, it is much easier for me to just deal with it if it goes pear shaped. But, in your situation, I would hang fire with the news about your new boyfriend until you are certain they know your full feelings on the situation and they understand how you feel. Then you can decide from there.

If it was me, there are only two outcomes.
1. They accept how I feel and then I would break the news to them about the boyfriend and maybe disclose the time I had been with him.
2. They don't accept it straight away and I wouldn't make it worse by saying about the boyfriend.

I know a lot of people might say, 'just tell them, it is your life' but you should really take your parents feelings into consideration. Believe it or not, some parents fear their children being gay, not because they are discriminating, but they don't want you to have a tough life.

That is just my 2 cents. If you want to ask me anything else, feel free. :3

Maj. Cor

With love, grace and strength.

Female
U.S
Seen February 16th, 2011
Posted January 29th, 2011
54 posts
12.3 Years
I'm, for the most part, a mature person. I take my responsibilities seriously and live up to them. If you ask me to help you, you will be helped. If you ask me for advice, you will get the best advice I can give. You know, stuff like that. Although I'm mature and confident in my abilities to handle myself well when I grow up, I'm scared of one thing: The future. What if I don't succeed? What if I fail miserably? What if I lose everything? I'm scared of losing everything I have, because I know I'll never be able to get it back. I'm a senior in high school, and I still don't know what to do about my career. There's sooooo many things I can do, but which one will make me the most happy?

I know it'll all be okay in the end, but I'm still scared...what should I do? How should I be approaching this?
Ask me.
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Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
I'm, for the most part, a mature person. I take my responsibilities seriously and live up to them. If you ask me to help you, you will be helped. If you ask me for advice, you will get the best advice I can give. You know, stuff like that. Although I'm mature and confident in my abilities to handle myself well when I grow up, I'm scared of one thing: The future. What if I don't succeed? What if I fail miserably? What if I lose everything? I'm scared of losing everything I have, because I know I'll never be able to get it back. I'm a senior in high school, and I still don't know what to do about my career. There's sooooo many things I can do, but which one will make me the most happy?

I know it'll all be okay in the end, but I'm still scared...what should I do? How should I be approaching this?

There are many things you can do to combat you for the future, but one of the best things to have under your belt is a good education. Of course, a lot of people have done very well without one, but with how the world is going, if you want a nice job, a good education degree is something that is a must to have behind you.

If you work hard in your teenage years at school/college/University, and put your all into everything, then the path to your future will fall into place.

Just keep going and don't get scared by it. You seem like a rational and smart person, so just keep doing what you are doing.

Maj. Cor

With love, grace and strength.

Female
U.S
Seen February 16th, 2011
Posted January 29th, 2011
54 posts
12.3 Years

Well, if you are friends then that would explain him confiding in you. Then he might well want you to help him and sort his head out.

Do you want to though?

I did the same thing...to 'help' a friend determine his sexuality. I mean, if you two are that good of friends and you feel comfortable with it, I say help him out. You could save him a world of confusion.

There are many things you can do to combat you for the future, but one of the best things to have under your belt is a good education. Of course, a lot of people have done very well without one, but with how the world is going, if you want a nice job, a good education degree is something that is a must to have behind you.

If you work hard in your teenage years at school/college/University, and put your all into everything, then the path to your future will fall into place.

Just keep going and don't get scared by it. You seem like a rational and smart person, so just keep doing what you are doing.

Thanks for the courage. :) I think that my best bet for a career is helping people...possibly through literature...
Ask me.
Soul Silver: 0475 4325 9331
Age 27
Male
On the Internet
Seen October 27th, 2013
Posted March 3rd, 2012
454 posts
13.8 Years
well its just like jackgamer's problem, but different. Theres this girl, who would never speak when i was around and would do all these clumsy things (drop her books, trip over, etc) , also when i was around. When I looked at her and smiled, she would kinda go red and so Im guessing, its obvious right? I think she fancies me (or maybe not, im not too sure). And then, all my friends keept laughing at me and all of the girl's friends would nudge her and laugh as well, when im around. So exactly what should I do? Its really embarressing now....

ps. can u send it too me by message, cuz its kind of annoying, like checking back at this forum when theres notification on it.
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Livewire

Male
Sunnyshore City
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted August 2nd, 2019
14,091 posts
13.8 Years
well its just like jackgamer's problem, but different. Theres this girl, who would never speak when i was around and would do all these clumsy things (drop her books, trip over, etc) , also when i was around. When I looked at her and smiled, she would kinda go red and so Im guessing, its obvious right? I think she fancies me (or maybe not, im not too sure). And then, all my friends keept laughing at me and all of the girl's friends would nudge her and laugh as well, when im around. So exactly what should I do? Its really embarressing now....

ps. can u send it too me by message, cuz its kind of annoying, like checking back at this forum when theres notification on it.
I think she likes you dude. Best thing to do, is to make the move and talk to her/let her know how you feel. I was in a situation similar, I finally talked to the girl I was after, and we've been dating for almost 3 years now. But muster up your courage and go for it. :D
Age 27
Male
On the Internet
Seen October 27th, 2013
Posted March 3rd, 2012
454 posts
13.8 Years

I think she likes you dude. Best thing to do, is to make the move and talk to her/let her know how you feel. I was in a situation similar, I finally talked to the girl I was after, and we've been dating for almost 3 years now. But muster up your courage and go for it. :D
alright. ill try my best. But she always hangs out around her friends and its like impossible to talk to her alone :( but ill still try and do it
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