Just over 2 months ago I posted (in the old thread) how I had a crush on a guy i knew in the year below me, how he found out about this and how he seemed to be avoiding me. My question being whether I should talk to him about it.
Since then, I found out that he felt the same way, and that he was avoiding me because he didn't know how to say it. About 6 weeks ago, we started dating. His parents know, and they at the very least pretend to like me. My parent didn't know I was Bisexual until the christmas period and have gradually come 'round to it, but they still don't know about Jake. I want to tell them, but I'd think they'd be really quite miffed if I was going out with someone before I even came out to them.
Should I tell them how long we've been going out or wait a week or two and introduce him as a relatively new boyfriend?
Ouch, ok, this is a very sensitive subject, so I will do my very best to help.
Their child's sexuality is a very touchy subject when it comes to a lot of parents. There can be many reasons why. It can be because they feel like they have brought up their child in the wrong way, that they have impacted on them incorrectly, the father can feel like he has failed his son and that the mother has failed their daughter, but a lot of the time, it has nothing to do to them. Feelings for the same sex can be very normal, as I am sure everyone has questioned their own sexuality at some point, even if it is for a second, it is a normal part of puberty. The decision of that person is down to them, but the hard part can be getting people to accept it, since it has been shunned and hated for many years.
My advice, and that is all it is, is to think how long has it taken your parents to come around to the fact that you are bisexual? How did they take it? How did they find out? Did they want to discuss it at all or were they dismissive, like they might have thought it was just a phase?
I know this situation is about you, but you should take into consideration your parents feelings, as I am sure you will. They have raised you to have the best life, I am sure, and they only want what is best for you. So a bit of courtesy on your behalf wouldn't go a miss when breaking the news to them.
I would first talk to them about your feelings. Tell them what you are going through, I am sure they will be supportive and want to talk to you about it.
Relationships is something that a lot of teenagers and younger adults keep from their parents, straight or gay, hell, I still do it. Not because of shame or embarrassment, but for me, it is much easier for me to just deal with it if it goes pear shaped. But, in your situation, I would hang fire with the news about your new boyfriend until you are certain they know your full feelings on the situation and they understand how you feel. Then you can decide from there.
If it was me, there are only two outcomes.
1. They accept how I feel and then I would break the news to them about the boyfriend and maybe disclose the time I had been with him.
2. They don't accept it straight away and I wouldn't make it worse by saying about the boyfriend.
I know a lot of people might say, 'just tell them, it is your life' but you should really take your parents feelings into consideration. Believe it or not, some parents fear their children being gay, not because they are discriminating, but they don't want you to have a tough life.
That is just my 2 cents. If you want to ask me anything else, feel free. :3