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  #1    
Old December 12th, 2010 (1:17 PM).
Usul's Avatar
Usul Usul is offline
Cease my heart beat's weave.
     
    Join Date: Nov 2010
    Gender: Male
    Posts: 84

    Random writing, hella' don't know what I just wrote.
    This is my Reclusion writing-day.

    Call me when you are down,
    Call me when you need me,
    I'll be pleased to be there,
    In your arms as we embrace,

    You are breaking and tearing apart,
    Connect my heart through the pain,
    To the wounds of your destruction,
    Ripping myself apart to see your inside;
    Inside of your heart I see the wounds,
    The wounds of your reclusion.

    Sweetheart keep holding on,
    Don't leave me here alone,
    In my shadowless emptiness,
    Piece by piece I try to built,
    Minute after minute I try to survive,
    Hand in hand I try keep you alive,
    Mouth on mouth I try to breathe life in you.

    Im dying sweetheart I need you don't go,
    Stop! don't just fade away look in my eyes,
    Tear builts of pure nature,
    For godsake Im tired;
    Tired of always suffering,
    Tired of just living;
    Living to just to die,

    I always got you in arms,
    Even when my bones are breaking,
    And trembling to the limit and over,
    I'm always careless of what will happen;
    Happening to me with the most disgrace manner,
    But the disgrace I do not care about,
    It's something truthful something of my mind,
    The thing inside of: A will of keep going,
    Keep doing what's the best for you,
    Most pointless thing is giving up..

    That's why I DO NOT, Give up on you,
    You gave me hope, faith and strength,
    Im down on my knees for you;
    This life that is so thankless,
    But I still live cause I live for you,
    You guide me through the hard times,
    Like you are a part of me,
    A side which will never die,
    A part that stays forever here with me,

    Our hearts as two, beats to infinite,
    You were created to by with me,
    And I was created to by with you,
    It's not time for losing and dying,
    But for loving and caring.

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      #2    
    Old December 12th, 2010 (8:37 PM).
    TJgamer's Avatar
    TJgamer TJgamer is offline
    A Pokémon Poet
       
      Join Date: Jul 2009
      Age: 24
      Gender: Male
      Nature: Modest
      Posts: 1,093

      Just a few capitalizations, and a some punctuation fixes, you will have a solid poem here.
      Good work!

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        #3    
      Old December 23rd, 2010 (8:06 AM).
      Fire Heart's Avatar
      Fire Heart Fire Heart is offline
      Reject Revolving Door
      • Gold Tier
       
      Join Date: May 2010
      Location: England
      Age: 21
      Gender: Female
      Nature: Sassy
      Posts: 406

      This is an amazing poem, well done!

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