Encounters

Started by Kipkip December 9th, 2004 7:35 PM
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Kipkip

Join the Revolution

Age 32
Seen June 24th, 2007
Posted October 18th, 2005
968 posts
19.4 Years
Encounters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
I really could not think of a better name. I wrote for school, but I think I'm going to write a whole story out of it. It's not a fanfic which I hope is ok. I havve no idea how long this story will be. I have all these ideas so, I just don't know. Anyway, here's the first chapter.

Chapter 1:
Epsilon

2385 June 5th, 5:30 PM
City: Sigma, Planet: Epsilon


I control the hill! shouted eight-year old John jumping up and down on the hill. I win, I win!
Hey! That's not fair. You need the control the hill for at least two minutes, protested Jessica.
I don't care, John said. It's my game so I don't need to go by the rules. Jessica was about to say something, but Robert stopped her.
Don't even try. He's a selfish brute, Robert told her.
John! Catherine, John's mother, called. I made brownies!
Come on. Let's go, John ran along with everyone else to his home, but Jessica ran up the hill.
Now I control the hill. How about that? No one paid any attention to her. Jessica angrily stomped her way to John's house.

2405 February 14th, 6:48 AM
Elite Class Spartan Fleet, orbiting the Epsilon System


Report! Admiral Mendez ordered from the command seat of the bridge.
Something hit us and destroyed of the fleet, Lieutenant Crystal James said.
There's a strange foreign blue oval, sir, Ensign Lee reported from the center in the front. It sent a blue beam.
Tell the rest of Spartan Fleet to go to threat condition Charlie and to prepare to fire when they fire again, the Admiral said.
Aye, sir, Ensign assured. Message sent.
Sir! The ship just fired another beam, the lieutenant said. ETA in 30 seconds.
Ensign, charge the main weapon and fire on command, the admiral ordered.
Aye aye, sir, Ensign said. Main weapon online.
ETA 20 second, the lieutenant said.
20% charged. Ensign reported.
ETA 15 seconds.
40% charged. The Admiral clutched his seat.
ETA is now 10 seconds and counting. 9...8...7...6...
60% charged.
5...4...3..
80% charged.
2...1...
100% charged.
Brace for impact and and fire! the Admiral shouted. The entire Spartan Fleet was disintegrated.

2405 March 5th, 10:36 AM
City: Paris II, Planet: Epsilon


The destruction of the Elite Class Spartan Fleet on February 14th led to the discovery of an alien race, the news reporter on the T.V. said. All Spartan personnel was killed in action which totals to 2,568 dead. A message was then shortly received from this alien race and was surprisingly in English. It says, All of you are against our Gods' will, you will all die at our hand. Then on February 26, 2405, the same alien ship destroyed the city of Sigma undetected. This race are more highly advance than us-, The T.V. was turned off.
I can't believe it's gone. said Sargent Major John sounding sad while he threw down his remote. He was standing in an empty room with the TV hanging from the wall. They destroyed it all, Jessica. Sargent First Class Jessica was standing next to him.
It's against the rules I guess. replied Jessica also sounding very sad. John tried to laugh, but was too saddened by the fact that Sigma and all of his friends and family was destroyed.
Sir, the aliens have landed as they said they were going to, Private McKinley said as he walked in.
Thank you, Private. You're dismissed. Get back to your position. John said, standing straighter. McKinley saluted and left. John then opened an communication channel and said, Fire Team Alpha and Bravo. You guys, under the lead of Jessica, will suppress fire on to them. Charlie, you'll be with me to flank the aliens on the right. Clear?
Roger that, Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie said simultaneously over the channel. John and Jessica left the room to meet Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie.
Let's move! Show those aliens the what humanity is made of! John said. Alpha and Bravo toke their positions in front of the enemy. Follow me, John told Charlie and went to the right covered behind trees. 20 minutes later they arrived to the positions to find Alpha and Bravo slaughtered. The aliens had an ape-like shape an wore armor like the Romans, but they were protected by energy shields.
Oh my God, one of the soldiers of Charlie said. They aliens turned towards Charlie.
Retreat! John yelled. Charlie tried to escape the aliens' grasp. The aliens fire beams that wrapped around the soldiers of Charlie and squeezed them to death. John was the only to make it out alive.

2405 March 26, 8:55 AM
City: Reach, Planet: Epsilon


Paris II is gone. Commander Johnson said. John stood in a room of an oval shape with Johnson and Jessica. He stood looking out the window glazing at the alien ship. Why didn't you die like the rest? You too, Jessica?
Sir. The enemy stopped firing when it killed everyone else, said Jessica.
Same here, sir, John said, still standing by the window looking at the alien ship.
Any explanations? Johnson asked.
No, sir, Jessica said. They continued to talk, but John didn't pay any attention to them. He studied the ship and then left for the aircraft station.
Where do you think you're going? asked Johnson over the communication channel.
To destroy that ship, John said.
Do you have any idea what you're do- John turned off the communication channel. He knew what he was doing. He toke one of those detonation bombs of a counter. John climbed into a jet and toke off. He figured that if he could get under the ship, he could use the gravity lift it had to get in there and destroy the ship.
The jet was soon under the ship and near the gravity lift. John climbed out of the cockpit and jumped out with the bomb in hand. John was taken by the gravity lift and into the ship. He found aliens surrounding him when he entered.
I know I can't make this out alive, John whispered to himself. He set the bomb for 5 seconds. The bomb blew up 5 seconds later and toke the ship and deserted city of Paris II with it.

1st period after the Holy One
The Sanctum


The room was surrounded in darkness. All you could see was a single alien under a light. The alien was bowed down to two shadowy figures.
The destruction of Clad is entirely my fault, the alien said.
Of course it is! Humans will get it our way with the Divine Voyage as they did before 90 billion years ago. We will stop them this time, but your stupidness has only slowed us down! one of the shadowy figures said.
Because of this, your punishment will be great, said the other figure.
Yes, your hierarchs. I understand, said the alien.
Honurs, take him away, the figure said and the Honurs toke the alien away.

Sorry for no idents. Stupid editor won't automactically do them. I'll do them later.
EDIT: Stupid OpenOffice. There was a major error in the section of March 5th. I fixed it.

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity

Age 34
Pickering, On
Seen August 8th, 2018
Posted May 17th, 2014
2,485 posts
19.7 Years
Interesting... its sort of like a "captain's log" type of thing going on there, which is fine because at this forum it could be any type of writing, not just a fan-fic.

Its seems like a sci-fi kind of story, but it would be better off if it was just put into a story, insted of seperated events.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

After 7 years, Xbox Live is Still Amazing

·!¦[·Latest pieces of Writing·]¦!·
Seen July 7th, 2008
Posted April 5th, 2006
2,943 posts
19.7 Years
I actually find this quite interesting for a sci-fi story. :)

I like how in the first entry, you made specific detail on the children's emotions. And I also like how you try to get to the point, instead of trying to put in every single dull detail. Good job. :)

Correct grammar - 8.6%
Use of words - 9.3%
Use of detail - 8.3%
On-Topic - 9.0%
Attention Lure - 9.2%

Overall Rating - 9.0%


:) Very good indeed.

*dies*

Kipkip

Join the Revolution

Age 32
Seen June 24th, 2007
Posted October 18th, 2005
968 posts
19.4 Years
Here's chapter two. I tried to improve it. I hope you like it.
Chapter 2:
Heretics

2405 April 2nd, 3:35 PM
City: Reach Compound, Planet: Epsilon

Sargent First-Class Jessica Anderson. You are awarded with this medal for the bravery and sacrifice your husband, Sargent Major John Anderson, made on March 26th, 2405, Johnson said as he gave medal to Jessica. It was pouring rain outside as the funeral of John Anderson was commencing. A three-year old girl was standing next to Jessica, clinging on to her leg.
For the next three hours, the funeral continued. The rain only got harder. Most of the area was empty as all of John's and Jessica's family and friends died at the events of Sigma. The only ones there were their comrades in the army which was few. Again, most of them died at the events of Sigma and Paris II. After the funeral, Jessica and that three-year old girl was in a car driving back to their base.
Mom, the three-year old girl said in the rear passenger seat. What happened to daddy? Jessica turned nervous. How was she suppose to tell her that her dad died? Well, mom?
Umm ... Miranda sweety, your daddy died.
Died, mom?"
Yes. He died to protect you and everyone else on this planet.
Miranda sat there staring at her mother. Not with a shock look, just a very confused one.

2nd period after the Holy One
The Sanctum

The two shadowy figures emerged from the Room of the Hierarchs. Light spread through out the room and on to the figures. These figures had a long neck purple neck with an with a small face that looks aged. Their body was purple as well and they wore a long blue robe that covered the rest of the body. They don't look anything similar to humans.
Where is the Hierarch of Truth, said the Hierarch of Wisdom. His voice was old and very angry. We need him now.
Calm down Wisdom, the Hierarch of Religion said in a very calming voice, but still very aged. He will sure enough come in time after he is done with his business.
Darn him if he does not come.
Now calm down. We are all moved by the recent events, but there is no reason to talk that way. An Honur approached the hierarchs. Honurs looked exactly like the aliens, Jinhie, except that you could not see their shield and wore armor of orange. The Honur bowed to his feet.
Your majesties. I come with good news. Hierarch of Truth will be arriving any moment, the Honur said.
Thank you, Junour. You may now leave, Religion said.
Yes your majesties. Junour got up and left. Moments passed and Truth arrived.
Welcome Truth, Religion greeted.
It is about time you got here. We have serious matters on our hands. Wisdom said.
Yes. I have heard, Truth announced. Let us talk about this matter in secret. Truth followed Wisdom and Religion into the Room of the Hierarchs. Apparently, Clad was destroyed and heresy has fallen on to some of the Jinhies.
You are correct, Truth. Wisdom said. Clad was destroyed by the Humans.
Humans..., Truth repeated. It does not seem long since our last encounter even though it has been 90 million years.
Yes. Even now they try to get in our way, Religion said. Religion closed his eyes for a few moments and said, There are heretics in this room. Honurs come in here. Within seconds, a dozen Honurs arrived with Junour in the lead.
You called, your majesties? Junour asked.
Yes. There are heretics in this room. Clean them up will you? Truth said.
Fire! a voice screamed from a corner. Heretics stood at a dark corner firing their weapons. The match was too easy for the Honurs as they toke them out fast. No casualties to the Honurs.
Thank you for that, Junour. Please bring Gwin here. You know, the one in charge of Clad, Hierarch of Truth said.
But his punishment is not finished, Junour said confused.
Cancel that. I have better things in mind.
Yes, sir. I will bring the fool. Junour left along with his Honurs.
Truth, explain this now, Wisdom said.
I have plans for our little heresy problem. He will still die, Truth said.
Ahh. Now I understand. Eliminate two problems at once. Great plan, I must say, Religion said.
Thank you. This new artifact from the Gods we found will also help with the elimination of this heresy, Truth said.

***

Gwin was bowed in the now greatly lit Room of the Hierarchs. What do you want with me? asked Gwin. Why did you stop me from my punishment?
We have greater plans for you, said Truth. We want you to take away a problem of ours.
Our problem is that some Jinhies have broken our covenant and betrayed us and the Gods, Religion said.
Your job is to kill all the Heretics with a few Honurs. If you succeed, which is unlikely, you will set order back with us and the Gods and you shall be forgiven, said Wisdom.
Are you up to the task, Gwin? asked Truth.
Gwin thought it over for a moment. Then replied, I will complete this task.