Meh.. I'll see how this goes. No one has really understood my poems in class so... we'll see...
This is one I wrote for the mood, betrayal shot through my mind and this came out! Dubiety -- doubtfulness; doubt
Spoiler:
Dubiety
Not many tell the truth
others would like to hear.
Of course, it hurts more,
nothing else compares,
events from telling others
Can lead to
a loss in friendship; so
no one can be trusted
Because of a natural tendency to
endure.
Together it can be broken,
respecting others, and expecting the
ubiety of our lives, for others to be truthful
so that we might live in a better
time where everyone might
evade the feeling of
dubiety.
Alright, let's see you poem connoisseurs spot that gimmick. Please criticize, the first half of criticism I got was --well-- worthless. Rate 1-10 maybe? I dunno, if people like I might write more...
7.5/10
The concept is good. And it's mood is very enjoyable.
The only flaw is its structure. Some lines are unnecessarily cut off and continue on the next. Understand what I'm saying?
I can see you really put effort in this, and your classmates obviously have no soul and encouragement.