Pokémon The Pokemon Whisperer

Started by Fearless Love March 22nd, 2011 1:39 AM
  • 9 replies

Fearless Love

self-proclaimed anime dork

Age 24
Seen March 21st, 2020
Posted February 9th, 2014
712 posts
13.4 Years
Alright, I finally got around to making something new. And I vow to actually write on this one, and not leave after the first chapter. My cousin would kill me if I did that.

Any way, I wish to give miley810, my cousin, credit for creating the character of Julie, one of the main characters here. After I started this story, miley decided to start writing Julie's back story, which she had put up.

Alright, enough of my blabbering. This story I'd say just to be safe would be rated PG-13, for later reasons, and I'm just being on the safe side, it may just be a PG thing, but officially I call it PG-13.

Now shall we begin?

The Pokemon Whisperer

Chapter 1: Fire & Flowers- The Mission To Save Cherrygrove

"Mia!" the blond haired girl leaned her head back into the doorway, blinking away her confusion.

A man appeared, holding a bag in his hand, his brows raised. "Forgetting something, honey?" he asked, holding up a brown backpack.

Mia smacked her palm against her forehead, immediately snatching the backpack. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!" she wrapped her arms around him momentarily before quickly waving in his direction and heading out the door.

"Good luck Mia Pia!" the man yelled from the doorway as she went farther down the drive.

Mia spun around, still running, and whined, "Dad." before sending a big wave his way. Once her house was close to being out of sight, she spun back around and gripped her backpack around her shoulders.

Ten years she'd been waiting for this day. Ten years she'd been ready to start on her journey. In all honesty, she wasn't exactly sure what her goal was. Did she want to be a battler? A coordinator? There were so many different choices that revolved around Pokemon. She knew, though, that before she knew, she'd need to start a journey. To find out who she wanted to be, she needed to search.

She stretched her arms out wide, throwing her head back. She could smell the scent of the fresh flowers planted around her town. The most common flowers around the town were lilies. The delicate white and yellow flowers decorated the many corners of Cherrygrove, and she was proud to be the one to plant them. Old Lady Lillian and her had been planting them since she was a little girl.

Out of the corner of her eye, Mia saw Gent, Cherrygrove's guide, tip his hat to her. She pulled herself to a halt, pacing over to him. She smiled happily to him, placing her hands on her hips.

"Today's the day old man." she said in a taunting manor.

Gent laughed at her tone of voice. He wasn't all that old, but compared to the ten year old in front of him, he assumed he was rather old.

"I suppose it is that time." he looked her up and down, "You've grown up quite a lot since you're daddy brought you down here."

Mia smiled giddily and squealed. "I am MAGORLY excited." she said, her brown eyes glimmering.

Gent tipped his hat and leaned over his shoulder bag. Mia leaned forward, trying her hardest to see past him and into his bag. He just smirked at her, finally grasping whatever it was he had been digging for. After a moment, he held out his hand to her. Placed in his hand was a blue and white Pokegear.

Mia squeaked with excitement. "Oh My Gosh! You have the new model!! This is fantastic!" Mia jumped up and down, now holding the small device in her hand. "And you saved me the blue one! You are the best Gent!" she wrapped her arms around him, happiness beaming off of her.

"Whoa there, Miss Mia. I got one more thing for ya." he said, peeling her off of him.

"And what might that be?" she asked, running in place.

Gent rummaged through his bag once again, pulling out something much quicker, but wrapped in a cloth.

Mia blinked repeatedly and ceased her motion. "What is it?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

Gent unraveled the cloth, revealing a light blue mixed with dark blue swirled ocarina. Mia took the musical instrument in her hands, holding the cloth beneath it.

"Whoa. You're really giving this to me?" she asked, observing it from every angle.

"Yep, little ma'am. You'd benefit from it much more than I will." he said, chuckling.

"But why me? Not that I'm not grateful for it. It's-it's amazing! But what's so special about me?" she asked, messing with the hem of her sky blue tank top.

Gent leaned down. "You are much more special than you know, little one."

Mia furrowed her brows, twisting her head to the side once again. Gent just smiled, ruffling her dirty blond hair, and standing straight.

"Well you best be on your way if you want to get to New Bark Town before the sun falls." he told her.

Mia perked up. "Sir, yes Sir!" she said, saluting. She attached her Pokegear to one of the loops on her denim shorts, and wrapping the ocarina back in its cloth and putting it in the small compartment of her backpack.

When she turned back to face Gent, she realized that he was already leaning against the tree, fast asleep. Mia gave a nervous laugh. That was just like Gent, in the most serious of moments, he'd just nod right off. Mia placed her hands behind her back and pulled out a huge grin, facing towards the path to New Bark Town. She pulled in a deep breath, and stepped forward, ready to begin.


Mia stretched her arms above her head. She knew she was relatively close to New Bark Town by this point, and thank Arceus, because her bones were screaming for a rest. She fell to her knees, heaving a sigh.

"Ahh! I'm so tired!" Mia whined.

"You sure look like it. Been traveling a long way?" Mia looked up to see the new voice directed at her. Standing above her was a girl with long light purple hair with pink streaks towards the bottom.

"Um, yeah." Mia blinked, accepting the hand the other girl lent to lift her up. "I was on my way to New Bark Town."

"Oh, so you're one of the new trainers? I wish you luck!" the girl said, smiling.

"Thanks! I'm Mia by the way." Mia glanced towards the direction she had been heading, and saw a house in the distance. "Sorry, I've gotta go." Mia turned to head towards the town, but turned right back around. She could only see the girl's retreating form and yelled, "Nice to meet you!" she didn't give the girl much a chance to respond, as she spun back around, running towards her destination.


Mia stood in front of the building of Professor Elm, wrapping and unwrapping her hand around the strap of her backpack. Her blue running shoes were stuck to the ground, and her eyes surveyed the area, looking everywhere but at her destination. She swallowed, but the lump in her throat was persistent on staying in its place.

A small thought crossed into her mind. She could wait. She could go back home, and not go through with this. She didn't have to worry about screwing up, or putting her Pokemon in harms way. She didn't have to worry that she wasn't good enough, that she'd never make it.

As quickly as the thought appeared, she pushed it away. She couldn't go back home. She couldn't let those people in her town down. She had to go through with this. If she didn't try, she would never know if she screwed up. She wouldn't put her Pokemon in danger. She would make it.

Mia closed her eyes, releasing a long held in breath. When she opened her eyes, there was a boy standing in front of her. He had unkept golden brown hair, with bright blue eyes. From her point of view, the boy seemed to be a bit older than her, maybe a year or two.

As she began to open her mouth, the boy opened his. "If you're looking for the professor, he's in the lab."

Mia nodded her head rapidly, suddenly at a loss for words. The boy raised his brow for a moment, and then shrugged when Mia smiled his way. He turned towards the lab, motioning for her to follow, which after a quick view of her surroundings, did as obliged.

She had to admit, inside the lab was a total disaster. Papers were flying around, with people in white coats chasing them. This made her giggle, reminding her of her father.

Mia gave a bitter sweet smile. When her father moved them to Cherrygrove, it was his first time raising a child alone. He'd done everything he could think of; making pancakes, braiding her hair, and piggy back rides. He was a great father, but she had to admit, it was quite lonely just the two of them.

"Hey Kid!" Mia blinked her eyes, slightly opening her mouth as she looked up at the voice of the young boy.

"Sorry, I'm-I'm a bit nervous." Mia said, rubbing the back of her head.

The boy smirked. "I can see that." he sighed. "Professor Elm! You've got a beginner!" he called.

Mia cocked her head as an older man stepped into her line of view. He had short brown hair, spiked at the top. He was wearing a white lab coat and was shifting through a stack of unruly papers, several things falling out of his pocket. He looked up, seeing Mia.

"Oh. Oh my. You're right Nick. Um hello young miss. I apologize for the mess." the professor said, giving a shy smile.

Mia gave a smile of her own, holding tightly to her backpack.

"Gee old man, think you could at least find the starter Pokemon?" the boy asked, stuffing his hands into his pocket.

"Yes, you're right Nick." Professor Elm's eyes widened as the stack in his hands tumbled to the floor, leaving a mess around. "Oh darn."

The boy, Nick, just sighed, but furrowed his brows when Mia lent down to help pick of the messy papers.

"It's alright professor. My dad's a lot like this. Our house is always this huge mess, and sometimes I have to clean it while he sleeps. He doesn't like to think that I'd do that all on my own, so I tell him he must have been so tired from cleaning that he fell asleep." Mia giggled, standing straight and handing the papers to the professor.

"Thank you, thank you so much miss. . . " he stopped, obviously uncertain of her name.

"My name's Mia!" she piped up.

"Nice to meet you Mia. Now about those Pokemon." Professor Elm looked frantically around.

"Right here old man." Nick set three Pokeball's down on the table closest to the Professor and Mia.

"Right, right. What would I do without you Nick?" the professor laughed nervously. He turned to Mia, "So, um, Miss Mia, I guess I should show you the Pokemon."

"Oh that's alright Professor! I know exactly which one I want!" she said excitedly.

"Oh." he blinked, "Which one have you chosen?" he asked.

"Cyndaquil!" she shouted.

A pokeball was tossed in her direction, which she caught with ease. She looked up to see Nick, who looked extremely bored, and irritated. After a moment, Mia saw a Pokedex and five small Pokeball's being held out to her.

"You'll need these!" Professor Elm said.

Mia grabbed each item, one by one, and stuffed them into the back of her backpack. She squeezed Cyndaquil's ball.

"Cyndaquil, come on out." Mia called as a white light emitted from the ball.

A dark blue and tanned fire mouse was released. Coming from it's back were orange and yellow flames. It stood on it's back two legs, its nose pointed up towards her. It ran to her legs, nuzzling them, and making satisfied 'Quil' sounds.

Mia laughed. "I love him." she said, squatting down to pat the little fire Pokemon's head.

"He seems to have taking a liking to you." Professor Elm said.

Mia just smiled, gazing happily at her newly found partner. A sound from across the room soon caught her attention. She saw Nick's retreating form, and soon he disappeared from her view. Mia quickly tucked Cyndaquil's Pokeball onto one of her denim loops, and stood, holding Cyndaquil in her arms.

"Uh." she reached out her other hand, attempting to follow the boy, but a hand met her shoulder. She looked back to see Professor Elm.

"Nick's just a bit agitated. Leave him, it'll be alright." he reassured her.

Mia nodded her head hesitantly. "I guess I should be going." she said, looking from the professor to where she had seen Nick disappear.

"Nick's a tough boy. Leave him to me, I'll talk to him tomorrow." Professor Elm offered.

Mia nodded. "Thank you professor Elm. Goodbye." she said, turning and exiting the building.

Outside, the sun peeked through the canopy of the tree's above Mia. Cyndaquil sat in her arms, nuzzling her neck. Mia brought her other hand up to caress the fire Pokemon's head.

She smiled and held her head up, letting the sunlight glide over her. Her journey was beginning. She began walking out of New Bark Town, and upon reaching the edge, looking back.

I hope the boy's alright. She thought, sighing, and heading out.


Mia smiled brightly, now reaching the entrance of her town. As she suspected, Gent was standing at the entrance, leaning against a tree, sleep hanging over him. Mia giggled, rubbing against Cyndaquil's head.

"This is my home." she whispered.

Before she could take a step back into the town, a little kid ran up to her.

"Mia, Mia! Is that your Pokemon? Cool!" the little boy was jumping up and down, eyes gleaming with excitement.

Cyndaquil moved it's head to the side. "Quil?" it asked.

Mia rubbed his head. "It's okay Cyndaquil." she bent down so Cyndaquil was at eye level with the little boy. The boy rubbed his hands over the Pokemon, obviously making him happy.

"Oh, hold on a second." she handed Cyndaquil to the little boy, and began rummaging through her backpack. "Aha!" she said pulling out a white cloth. Unwrapping it, she revealed her ocarina.

She brought it to her lips, placing her fingers against the small holes. A sweet melody emitted from the small instrument. The boy stared at her in wonder, and Cyndaquil clapped his small hands together.

Mia pulled the instrument away, steadying her breathing. "Wow. That must have taken you forever to learn." the boy said.

"Actually, that's the first time I've played it." she said nervously, rubbing her head.

"Really? Can I try?" the boy asked.

Mia bit her lip, indecisively. "Sure." she said slowly, handing it to him. "Be careful."

The boy pulled it to his own lips and began blowing. A loud, screeching noise came from it, and Mia covered her ears. She squinted her eyes when she heard another noise, and widened them when she saw the source. She grabbed the ocarina and wrapped it back up, stuffing it in her pack hurriedly.

She scrambled to her feet, chasing after the retreating form of her Cyndaquil. The small Pokemon was whining, running about in a panic. Mia stumbled, nearly tripping over her own to feet.

"Cyndaquil." Mia called, and then stopped immediately. They were now at the big field of lilies. It had been made in a special tribute to Mia and her mother. Cyndaquil was huddled up, shaking. She reached down to pick him up saying, "It's alright." but pulled her hand back when the fire on his back burned her hand. "Ow."

Cyndaquil bolted up, running into the field. Flames were erupting from her, shooting across the field. Mia held her hand to her mouth in horror, as the Lilly field beyond her was shooting up in flames.

"No Cyndaquil!" she went to run forward, but the heat of the flames pushed her back. Tears stung her eyes, and she held her hand to her chest. "Cyndaquil. My lilies." she turned her head away, unable to watch the scene before her.

"Riley, Water Pulse!" Mia saw a burst of water blow past her. Water sprayed the western side of the field, clearing the water. "Keep it up Riley!"

Mia widened her eyes, seeing the girl now standing beside her. Her mouth opened and she pointed to her. "Ah, you're-" the girl turned to her, smiling, her purple and pink hair shaping her face perfectly.

"I didn't get to introduce myself last time. I'm Julie!" she held her hand out.

"Um, nice to meet you Julie." Mia said, accepting the hand. Then she blinked in some confusion. "You're eyes are pink." she pointed out.

"Yeah, I get that reaction a lot." Julie turned her head back to the field. "Sorry 'bout you're field." she said indicating to the ton of shriveled lilies.

Mia bit the inside of her cheek. Her beautiful field had been burnt to a crisp, nothing remained. She let her eyes wander away, finally resting on the ground at her feet. Soon, a small creature appeared in front of her. The creature had a white freckled face, with blue ears. A sea-shell shape was on its blue torso. It also donned an otter tail and feet.

Mia looked down at it, and noticed something in its hand. She bent down and cupped her hands around the little sea otter's, standing and opening her hand to see a baby Lilly flower, seemingly the only one that still remained.

"Thank you." she murmured, still too shocked to form proper words.

"That's a great job Riley. Come on and take a rest." the small Pokemon was absorbed in a red light, and vanished.

Mia turned to Julie, still cupping the flower in her hand. "Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up." Mia said sadly.

Julie put a hand on her shoulder. "No problemo. Helping a friend in need is my motto." this caused Mia to smile.

Mia turned when she heard the small cry of her partner. Her was standing behind her, his head hung low, and his hands crossed together. Her eyes softened, and she swooped him up in her arms. This obviously surprised the Cyndaquil, but he hugged her back none the less.

"It's okay Cyndaquil. It was an accident. It'll be just fine." Mia said, and she knew she meant it. The flowers could be replaced, but her partner couldn't.

A hand on her shoulder, caused Mia to turn. "Where are you heading to now?" Julie asked.

"I guess we'll be heading to Violet City, to battle Falkner." Mia said, putting a finger to her chin in thought.

"That's great!" Julie said giddily, "That means we can go together!"

Mia smiled and laughed. Perhaps her journey would be successful after all. She'd already made a new friend, two new friends in fact.

Mia hugged Cyndaquil closer and nodded. "I'd like that Julie." she responded.

"Great." Julie said, "Let's go."

Mia nodded again, and the two began walking towards the northern exit. As the reached the boarder, Mia spun around, waving frantically to the crowd that had gathered. Cyndaquil squealed with excitement.

This is just the beginning! I'll find out who I am, and make my Mother Proud!

What do yall think? I could really use some critisism. I just would really like some reviewiers, cuz it kinda stinks when you get so many views, but no comments. So comment please!
derpy derpy nothing to see here



Kukuroo Mountain
Seen June 29th, 2017
Posted March 14th, 2014
1,241 posts
11.4 Years
Her was standing behind her
I don't know WHAT you ment to put there but that doesn't sound right.
I love the story,more so cosidering you put me/Julie in there. >_< but try to watch writing stuff like Her was standing behind her.I'm not the best critic so I'm sure you going to get more critisism from other people.

Card Captor Sakura ★ April

Miley ★ BFF // Cousin // Siblings
Sig Credit: Fire Heart (thanks sis!)

My vampire brother: ShinyDiamond
My vampire sister: PinkSapphire
My Pair: Nonexistant...Besides anime characters of course

Fearless Love

self-proclaimed anime dork

Age 24
Seen March 21st, 2020
Posted February 9th, 2014
712 posts
13.4 Years
Alright, chapter two is offically ready! I hope you all will like it, and please comment. I checked it myself, but that does not mean it is free of mistakes, I'm sure I've missed something, but nobodys perfect, right? Enough of my rambling, and on we go!

Pokemon Whisperer

Chapter Two: Cyndaquil Strikes!!
Mia plopped onto the ground, throwing her head back. "I'm so tired." she cried, closing her eyes.

Julie crossed her arms, watching the girl impatiently. "You sound just like my sister." she retorted.

Mia just rolled off her response, allowing her back to rest against the ground. The midnight moon was high in the sky full of stars, with the night Pokemon gliding through the air. She saw a Noctowl out of the corner of her barely open eyes, but was too exhausted to catch it. She took it the air through her nose, letting the aroma of the night engulf her. There was a peaceful silence, one she was quite grateful for.

Though, it seemed quite the opposite for Julie. "C'mon Mia! The towns only two more hours away." Julie said, trying to pry her companion off the ground.

Mia swat her away, glaring daggers at her. "Yeah, but we've been walking for two hours already." Mia had lived in Cherrygrove for the past five years, and she rarely ever left the town, only going to New Bark every once in a while to watch the new trainers receive their starters.

Julie sighed. It seamed Mia's new trainer enthusiasm was dying down rather fast. Julie sat down on a nearby rock, resting her chin in the palm of her hand.

"I guess we can rest for a few minutes, but the town is so close." Julie said, more to herself than to Mia.

Mia rolled onto her side, staring a Julie through heavy eyes. "Look, let's just rest for a bit. Let the Pokemon get some fresh air." Mia unhooked Cyndaquil's Pokeball and released the flaming Pokemon.

Cyndaquil yawned, obviously indicating he had previously been sleeping. Mia reached out to pet the small Pokemon on the head. It leaned closer to it's master, nudging against her hand.

Julie perked up, grabbing three Pokeballs from her pack and tossing them in the air. Out of one pokeball came a small blue and tan monkey, hoping up and down, excited to be free of its pokeball.

The second to come out was the Pokemon that had put out the fire at Mia's house. The third was a dark and light pink Pokemon with bright blue eyes, with a curl at the end of each of its ears.

Mia darted up, now sitting crossed legged, with her hands gripping her shoes tightly. She watched the three Pokemon in wonder. After a moment, she pulled out her pokedex, scanning the Pokemon. When the pokedex drew a blank, she furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Julie, my Pokedex doesn't have these guys in its system." Mia said, looking at Julie expectantly.

Julie giggled. "That's cause these guys are special. They're only available in the Unova region."

Mia pushed her hands against the ground, causing her to sit on her knees. "You've been to the Unova region? I've always wanted to go there!" Mia exclaimed, smiling giddily.

Julie smiled, obviously liking the attention. "Not only have I been there, I live there."

"You live there? You've got to be kidding." Mia glanced back down at the four Pokemon that now surrounded her, looking curious.

Mia pet each Pokemon individually before looking back up and asking, "What are they? The breeds I mean?"

Julie crouched down and pointed to the pink one. "This is Audino.", then she turned to the blue monkey, "This is Panpour.", then she turned to the one from before, "and this is Oshowatt."

"Oh." Mia put a finger to her lips, watching them intensely before giggling. "They're cute."

"Yeah. I know. They're-" Julie was cut off by a sound emitting from Cyndaquil.

"Cyndaquil." Mia turned to where her friend was and found him to no longer be there. She looked around frantically. "Cyndaquil!" she called, worry lacing her voice, and standing to her feet.

"Quil, Quil!" came her Pokemon's response. Before Mia had a chance to head in the direction the voice came from, Cyndaquil stepped out of the bushes, with something small pressed against his back.

Mia bent down, petting Cyndaquil, and then observing what was with him. There was a small, round, dark blue Pokemon, with bright green leaves planted on top of it's head. Mia quickly had her pokedex scan it.

"Oddish, the weed Pokemon. This Pokemon is typically found roaming the forest, scattering pollen as it walks around. Awakened by the moonlight, it roams actively at night. In the day it stays quietly underground." the pokedex informed her.

Mia tucked her pokedex into her right jacket pocket, using one hand to pet Cyndaquil, and using the other to gentle brush her fingers against the Oddish.

"It's okay little guy. We won't hurt you. Will we Julie?" when Mia turned her head back, Julie looked hysterical.

"Oh my Arceus! It's an Oddish. You don't see very many of those back in Unova, or at least I didn't! I have to touch it." Julie leaned over to pet the Oddish, but the Pokemon shied behind Cyndaquil, whimpering lightly.

Mia smacked Julie's hand, which was recalled quickly, the older girl holding it to her chest protectively.

"Can't you see it's scared?" Mia turned back to the Pokemon. "It's okay Oddish. She didn't mean to scare you. We're your friends." the Oddish slowly slid out from behind Cyndaquil, and when Mia smiled encouragingly, nudged her hand with its leaves.

Mia took this as an opportunity to pick up the small Pokemon. In her arms, she realized that the Oddish had been quite badly injured. A few scars lined it's body, and the tip of some of its leaves were torn. She touched them tenderly, feeling the small Pokemon twitch slightly at the touch. Mia's eyes widened in horror.

"Who did this to you?" Mia whispered, her voice nearly drained.

The Oddish whimpered, and Mia stroked it softly. She turned to Julie, fear evident in her eyes.

"Where there's one Oddish, there's bound to be more. We need to see if any other Oddish were injured." Mia said, moving to her feet.

Julie nodded, recalling all of her Pokemon except for Oshowatt. Mia lifted Cyndaquil onto her shoulder, knowing he may be a necessity momentarily.

"Oddish, are there more of you?" Mia asked.

The small round Pokemon nodded its head and jerked one of its injured leaves in the direction of the forest. The two trainers followed in the direction the Oddish was leading them in. Soon, after traveling a little ways through the woods, they reached a small clearing, with a few Oddish huddled together.

Mia rushed to them, her emotions mixed with anger and worry. As she approached, the Oddish in her hands jumped down, comforting its friends. Mia watched the small Pokemon seem to explain something to the others, but exactly what, she couldn't pinpoint.

The Oddish returned to Mia, rubbing against her leg. She got down on her knees, investigating each of the small Pokemon, noting they were each bruised rather badly. Mia turned her head away for a moment, taking in her immediate surroundings. It didn't seem as though the area had taken any damage, meaning whatever, or whoever, was harming these Pokemon did it intentionally.

Mia clenched her fists. How could any living creature harm something so small and defenseless?

"Mia?" Julie's voice was soft and shaking.

Mia furrowed her brows, and looked up just in time to cover the small patch of Pokemon from something sharp heading their way. Mia hissed when something sharp penetrated her shoulder. She turned her head, biting down hard on her lip, and squeezed her eyes shut partially, feeling the pain in her shoulder intensify.

Through her eyes, she could see the body of the Pokemon that attacked. The Pokemon was a fairly large snake, its body consumed by black, with gold diamond shapes and a purple zigzag decorating it, with half of its tale red.

"Mia!" Julie knelt down, putting a hand on Mia's shoulder. The younger girl winced, but managed to force her body to face the enemy at hand.

"Cyndaquil. Tackle attack." she ordered, her voice weak but understandable.

Cyndaquil nodded its small head and charged at the oversized snake. He slammed against it's body, bouncing right back, landing on all four legs. The other Pokemon seamed unfazed by this, and barred its teeth, causing the Oddish to shrink back, but Cyndaquil stood his ground.

"Alright Cyndaquil. Use Tackle again, this time jump and attack him higher!" Mia called, her voice beginning to return.

Cyndaquil nodded, understanding his orders. He did as told, charging towards the snake Pokemon. When he was only inches away, he jumped, landing an attack on the Pokemon's head. This only seemed to anger it more. As Cyndaquil was descending to the ground, the snake's tail whipped around, slamming Cyndaquil into his trainer.

"Cyndaquil!" she cried, seeing the injured Pokemon in her arms.

Julie's face grew red, and she stood to her feet. "Riley, Water Pulse that thing!" she called.

The little Oshowatt, Riley, blast out water, striking the snake. The Pokemon hissed, but coiled back when it was attacked by claws scratching furiously at it. The snake barred its fangs again, but was shoved down by a tackle attack sent by Riley. The snake now hissed, but retreated deeper into the forest.

Julie sighed in relief. "Good job, Riley. Return." she called, a red light swallowing Riley. Julie turned back to Mia, who sat still on the ground, the Oddish circling her, and Cyndaquil wrapped tightly in her arms.

"We need to get him to the Pokemon Center, now." Julie ordered, but Mia made no notion to stand.

Julie growled, grabbing one of Mia's arms and pulling her to her feet.

Mia felt the throbbing pain in her arm as Julie pulled her up, but she didn't care. Her Cyndaquil was laying in her arms, clearly in pain. She tore her eyes away, glancing at Julie's red face.

"Snap out of it. Come on." she practically yelled.

Mia licked her lips, trying to bring up enough moisture to speak. "These Oddish." her voice was barely a whisper. "They need to go too."

Julie nodded. "They'll follow." she said, and began pulling Mia along, knowing the girl's feet weren't really working on their own.

Mia sat on one of long couches near the entrance of the Pokemon Center. She had a cup of hot coco in her hand, and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. When they arrived, Julie had insisted that Nurse Joy check Mia out as well, thinking the attack may have hurt her immensely. Mia insisted she was fine, saying the attack was not very strong, and that it was of no concern.

Mia sipped her cup, feeling the hot liquid glide past her lips. The had arrived in Violet City in the dead of the night, carrying an injured Cyndaquil, followed by a small school of Oddish. She hadn't even been the least bit excited to be in Violet City, where she'd have her first gym battle. She didn't care at the moment, she just cared about her Cyndaquil, and the Oddish.

Mia sat the cup down on the table in front of her, sighing and putting her head in her hands. She could hear the scuffling of feet coming towards her, but made no sign of responding.

"He's going to get stronger." Julie's voice entered her ears, and Mia lifted her head slightly.

"But I wasn't strong enough to protect him." she whispered.

"It's the other way around Mia! Cyndaquil is suppose to protect you!" Julie called, her voice rising.

Mia glared up at her. "Are you saying you wouldn't protect Riley with your life?" Mia asked.

Julie shook her head. "I don't need to." was all she said.

Mia just turned her head away, looking out the window. She heard Julie sigh, but didn't move.

"Let's train." this caught Mia's attention, and she turned her head. "You're Cyndaquil versus my Oshowatt."

Mia bit down on her lip. She looked to her right, where Cyndaquil's pokeball sat. She picked it up, gazing at it, contemplating Julie's suggestion. Mia gripped the Pokeball tighter and stood to her feet.

"Okay. Let's do it." she said.

"Alright! Since you've only got one Pokemon, it'll just be Cyndaquil and Riley. Got it?" Julie called, a tree looming over her.

Mia nodded. "Sounds good to me." Mia tossed the pokeball in the air. "Let's go Cyndaquil!"

The fire mouse Pokemon squealed as it was released, scratching it's nose with its front paws.

"Riley, take the stand!" the sea otter stood opposite of Cyndaquil, holding its hands on its hips, and its head held high. "You can make the first move."

"Okay. Cyndaquil, tackle attack!" Mia ordered.

"Riley, dodge it."

Riley jumped as Cyndaquil came close, causing Cyndaquil to skid past her.

"Now Riley, use Furry Cutter!" Riley charged at Cyndaquil, striking him with her claws.

"Hang on Cyndaquil. Alright, use Smoke Screen!" Mia ordered.

"Quil!" Cyndaquil replied, blowing puffs of black smoke from his mouth.

"Riley!" Julie called, hearing her coughing through the smoke.

"Cyndaquil, Tackle attack!" she ordered.

Mia and Julie watched the cloud of smoke, unable to see the two Pokemon through it. They heard a shrill cry from inside, but couldn't decipher which of them it was. Just then, a gust of wind came by, and the smoke was cleared. Both trainers watched as their Pokemon came into view.

Julie smiled, crossing her arms. "Riley return." the small otter was recalled into her Pokeball.

Mia sighed, seeing Cyndaquil laying on the ground. "Nice try Cyndaquil." the fire mouse returned to its Pokeball.

Julie walked over to Mia, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You did good. It was your first actual battle." Julie walked off, heading back into the Pokemon Center.

Mia held Cyndaquil's pokeball, sighing, and shoving it in one of her pockets.
Mia sat once again, staring outside the Pokemon Center window. By now, it was getting close to sunrise, and she hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Cyndaquil was outside, training alone. She'd tried to keep him in, but he was persistent on training.

She watched him tackling one of the trees, and obviously tired. She leaned her head against her palm, wishing she could help her Pokemon, but she was a new trainer, what could she do?

She pulled her other hand up to wipe the sleep out of her eyes. Then she stretched her arms above her head and yawned. It was getting quite late, and she figured Cyndaquil would have to come in at some point. She stood to her feet, and just as she was about to leave the center, she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Slowly slithering closer to her Cyndaquil, was the snake Pokemon from before.

Quickly grabbing her jacket, she rushed out of the Center. Using one hand, she pulled her hair out from behind her jacket, and using her other, she pulled out her Pokedex, finally decided to figure out just who she was up against.

"Seviper, the Fang Snake Pokemon. Seviper is known for its angry disposition, immobilizing its opponents by wrapping its body around them. Seviper is native to the Hoenn Region." the pokedex said.

"The Hoenn Region. What's a Pokemon from Hoenn doing here?" she asked herself. Her eyes snapped up when she heard a hiss coming from the Seviper. "Cyndaquil, watch your right side." she yelled.

Cyndaquil jumped, dodging the Seviper's tail. He landed on a low branch of the tree, glaring down at the snake. "Quil. Quil. Quil."

Mia bit her lip hard. "Cyndaquil, come down. We can't win this fight." she hated having to do this, but she wouldn't risk Cyndaquil, not again.

"Quil. Quil. Quil, Quil, Quil!" Cyndaquil cried.

Mia sighed, knowing Cyndaquil didn't want to give up. He wanted to battle. And he wanted to win. Mia nodded, knowing she'd give in before Cyndaquil anyway.

"Alright Cyndaquil! Jump on Seviper's back." Mia called, and Cyndaquil did as told.

The Seviper hissed and tried to wiggle Cyndaquil off. Though it didn't seem Cyndaquil was giving up his hold on the serpent. Seviper's tail began to glow purple.

"Cyndaquil!" Mia screamed, seeing the tail come down to strike.

Instead of the cry from her Cyndaquil she'd suspected, she heard the Seviper hiss in pain. She turned her head back to the battling Pokemon. The Seviper's tail had struck its own back, and Cyndaquil landed on the ground beside Mia.

Mia nodded her head, and ordered, "Cyndaquil, tackle, now!"

Cyndaquil ran straight for the Seviper, but made a repeat of his earlier attack, bouncing right back off and skidding across the field. Mia gritted her teeth. At the rate they were going, there was no way they could win.

All of a sudden, from behind her, there shot out a bundle of leaves, each attacking the Seviper head on. Mia turned her head, seeing the familiar Oddish now standing beside her and Cyndaquil.

"Oddish! Did you come out here to help us?" Mia asked.

The Oddish nodded and sent another wave of leaves towards the snake Pokemon. Seviper hissed again, recalling slightly.

"That's great Oddish. What else can you do?" Mia asked.

Oddish hoped forward, releasing purple spray from its leaves.

"Awesome! Acid Attack. Sweet!" Mia smiled excitingly. "Cyndaquil, go Tackle Attack, now!"

After the acid hit the Seviper, it began screaming. When Cyndaquil hit it, the Pokemon began swinging its tail around rapidly. During one of those times, the tail whacked Cyndaquil.

Cyndaquil shook his head, trying to shake off the attack. Mia ordered the Oddish to use another Razor Leaf, which only made the Pokemon madder.

"There has to be something we can do." just as she said that, the Seviper once again sent its tail running towards Cyndaquil. Before she even had a chance to scream, the Oddish had jumped in front of him, taking the hit instead.

Mia ran to the Oddish, picking it up, and observing whatever wounds had just been inflicted. Cyndaquil's flame, on the other hand, began roaring higher.

"Cyn-da-Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil!" blots of fire began shooting out of Cyndaquil's mouth. When the attack hit, it hit the Seviper's eyes, along with various other parts of its body. The Seviper cried out, but coiled back. It seemed as if Cyndaquil was going to attack again, but suddenly, a red light consumed the Seviper, and it was gone.

Mia stood, holding the Oddish in her arms, Cyndaquil now at her feet.

"Quil. Quil." he called happily.

Mia smiled, picking Cyndaquil's pokeball out of her pocket. "Good job Cyndaquil. You learned Ember." now that Cyndaquil was back in his pokeball, she shoved it back in her pocket.

The Oddish shifted in her arms, looking up brightly at her. Mia rubbed the Oddish's leaves, but furrowed her brows when the Oddish continued to stare at her.

"What is it little guy?" she asked.

The Oddish nudged her pocket until another pokeball fell out. Oddish jumped down from her arms and waddled over to the pokeball.

"What are you-" she didn't get to finish her sentence, as the Oddish pressed its leaves against the middle button of the pokeball, thus bringing it inside. The pokeball shook a time or two, but then it stopped moving.

Mia picked it up, looking it over. She'd just got an Oddish. Or, more like the Oddish had caught itself. She giggled and headed back towards the center. It had been a long day, and she needed some rest. Though as she reached the door to go back inside, she snuck a glance back.

That Seviper had belonged to someone. Meaning they attacked those Oddish on purpose. Meaning they attacked her on purpose too.
derpy derpy nothing to see here



Kukuroo Mountain
Seen June 29th, 2017
Posted March 14th, 2014
1,241 posts
11.4 Years
Okay I laughed (quietly cause my mom was asleep) when I saw Julie say that mia reminded her of her sister.I gotta question if you don't mind.Where is Julie through all of this?Sleeping?I was happy to see Cindaquil learned flamethrower....and I can't WAIT to find out who in HECK owned that surviper...its kinda creppy,cause that person had to of been there to recall their pokemon,and I guess they had been to hoen been's they had a surviper....I love this chapter,but I do think Julie's attiutude is different then I originally amagianed her when I created her,but I still think its great as it is :) I hope it doesn't take as long for chapter three!Which reminds me...time to write my chapter three.And I'm sure anybody who read my story relizes when Julie said that Mia reminded Julie of Julie's sister she ment Miley and not Serina.I love how interested Mia was in Unova pokemon too!Like I said I can't WAIT WAIT WAIT for chapter three!

Card Captor Sakura ★ April

Miley ★ BFF // Cousin // Siblings
Sig Credit: Fire Heart (thanks sis!)

My vampire brother: ShinyDiamond
My vampire sister: PinkSapphire
My Pair: Nonexistant...Besides anime characters of course


☼ ♥You make me smile♥ ☼

Age 25
Lost in a book.♥
Seen November 4th, 2012
Posted March 29th, 2011
148 posts
12.2 Years
Alright, I do believe this is really good so far. I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes at all. :) I wanted to ask where Julie is during this battle... Oh, and I am incredibly curious as to who that stupid Seviper belonged to...
Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.
C. S. Lewis

♥ Dedicated to Justin, a guy I want to know much better ♥
☼You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed
Sing like a bird, Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like fool, Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile☼

Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.
C. S. Lewis

Fearless Love

self-proclaimed anime dork

Age 24
Seen March 21st, 2020
Posted February 9th, 2014
712 posts
13.4 Years
Alright, I do believe this is really good so far. I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes at all. :) I wanted to ask where Julie is during this battle... Oh, and I am incredibly curious as to who that stupid Seviper belonged to...

You're the second person to ask about Julie. :D It was pretty late at night, so Julie was already asleep, I guess I forgot to mention that!! Well thanks so much for reviewing. I'll have chapter three up ASAP! School started back up, so I'm a little crushed for time! Again, thanks!
derpy derpy nothing to see here
Age 34
Seen 7 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Days Ago
10,122 posts
15.3 Years
Hi there! Hope you don't mind me reviewing your fic. The main reason I did was because I saw that your character starts from Cherrygrove City, which is one of my most favorite Pokémon cities ever.

To start off the review, I'm going to begin with the basics. The biggest one is grammar, which could use a little clean-up. A piece of advice I'll give is to find a beta reader. A beta will go over your work before you post it, helping to catch/fix mistakes and even helping you with other aspects of writing. One rather tricky area that you need help in is how to punctuate dialogue. As I said, this gets rather difficult to understand sometimes, and everything gets covered in this link here. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I'm happy to help.

Now that that's out of the way, time to dive into the story. I'll point out things in order that I find them in the chapter (since I'm writing this review as I'm reading). This also includes parts of your story that I liked.

In all honesty, she wasn't exactly sure what her goal was. Did she want to be a battler? A coordinator? There were so many different choices that revolved around Pokemon. She knew, though, that before she knew, she'd need to start a journey. To find out who she wanted to be, she needed to search.
I loved seeing this. So many trainer fics don't have this, where the characters aren't sure what they're going to do. So it's interesting to read the fic and see what they discover about themselves, since they don't have a clear goal in mind like being a battler.

"You've grown up quite a lot since you're daddy brought you down here."
That “you're” should actually be “your”. “You're” is the contraction for “you are”, so if you're unsure which one to use, read the sentence using “you are” where you need to place the word. See how the sentence doesn't make sense when it reads “you are daddy brought you down here”?

"I am MAGORLY excited."
It's spelled “majorly”. Spell-check might completely ignore words that are written in all capital letters.

or putting her Pokemon in harms way.
When you're writing a possessive (that is, who owns something) use an apostrophe-s. So “harms” would become “harm's”. Otherwise, it's just the plural of the word.

I'll also take this time that it's nice to see Mia hesitate to become a trainer, and she decides to get her Pokémon to not let Cherrygrove's citizens down.

He'd done everything he could think of; making pancakes, braiding her hair, and piggy back rides.
That semi-colon there should actually be a colon. “He'd done everything he could think of: making pancakes, braiding her hair, and piggyback rides.”

It's also kind of cute to see what Mia thinks of as “everything” her father could do for her.

It stood on it's back two legs,
Now here “it's” is actually the contraction of “it is”. For this, you'll use “its”, which is the possessive form.

"Actually, that's the first time I've played it." she said nervously, rubbing her head.
It had been made in a special tribute to Mia and her mother.
You'll want to be careful with things like this. Don't make Mia seem too special in the story's world, what with her getting a special instrument and playing it perfectly the first time, or by having her honored for a reason not stated. (Why did Cherrygrove dedicate space for a field of flowers just to honor two people? Did Mia's mother do something great?)

You're not in danger yet because it's too early to tell how Mia's story is going to go. But these are some small signs that a character is being treated differently from other people in the world.

A hand on her shoulder, caused Mia to turn.
No need for that comma there after “shoulder”.


I only have time to review the first chapter. At a later date, I'll review the second one, if you'd like me to.

Your fanfic is off to a good start. I can tell that you put a lot of effort into it. Mia's quest looks to be interesting, and I'd like to find out more about the ocarina. If you improve your grammar to make it easier to read, then that'll help a lot.

Hope this helps!

Avatar credit: Fairy

Fearless Love

self-proclaimed anime dork

Age 24
Seen March 21st, 2020
Posted February 9th, 2014
712 posts
13.4 Years
Thank you for reviewing Astinus! I'm glad someone still reads my stories.

I can't believe I messed up the 'your'! I guess I really need to work on my grammer. I use spell-check, but my computer doesn't check for anything else but spelling errors, so I should probably pay more attention to the things that my computer can't fix.

Chapter two might have similar errors, so I apologize ahead of time if it does, and I'm working much harder on chapter three. So that one might take me a bit longer to get up and running.

Thank you very much for reviewing, I haven't gotten a good review, with someone pointing out my mistakes in a long time. So Thank You!
derpy derpy nothing to see here
Age 24
Not here, at least.
Seen April 30th, 2016
Posted January 8th, 2016
1,142 posts
10.7 Years
Hey Fearless, I see you've got a nice fanfic. Very entertaining and interesting. xD Even though I've only finished reading the first chapter you put up, I can't wait to have time to read the next few! XD There's nothing much I can say, since I have yet to read your masterpieces. Anyways, I'm just gonna to a review based on the first chapter which I've reread 4 times(Didn't you know that awesomeness has to be absorbed 4 times? xD). Ok, let's go!


"Today's the day old man." she said in a taunting manor.

Hey Jesse, it's 'manner' there, not 'manor'. xD

"Manor, the land tenure unit under manorialism, a system of land tenure and organization of the rural economy and society in parts of medieval Europe" Don't tell me you meant that! XD

"You are the best, Gent!"
You know what they say: Add a little comma, an upside down banana, type a little letter, and make the whole thing better....Wait that's not a comma, that black little tag.....Look a little closer- It's a Poliwag! :P

"Nick's a tough boy. Leave him to me; I'll talk to him tomorrow."
Hey, if you add a ';' there, it'll be perfect man! XD

Outside, the sun peeked through the canopy of the tree's above Mia.
Okay, now remove that Poliwag up there. xD

Cyndaquil moved it's head to the side.
Now now, we all love Poliwags but let's not put too much of them, kay? ;)

A hand on her shoulder, caused Mia to turn.
Gosh, there's ANOTHER Poliwag suffocating in there. Someone get it out RIGHT NOW! God, you love Poliwag, don't ya? XD

That's all for now! I can't wait to see your next chapter! :D

Fearless Love

self-proclaimed anime dork

Age 24
Seen March 21st, 2020
Posted February 9th, 2014
712 posts
13.4 Years
Okay everyone, I have some...bad news. My laptop crashed a while ago, and I learned that the entire computer has to be wiped clean. Which means, my entire third chapter is gone. Though, I still have everything that happened mapped out in my head, it just might take me a bit longer to put it back together. Just a little update for everyone. I'll get it up as soon as I can salvage the chapter!
derpy derpy nothing to see here