The game.

Started by pichugirl December 14th, 2004 2:52 PM
  • 1211 views
  • 11 replies
Age 31
MD
Seen October 3rd, 2007
Posted June 20th, 2006
553 posts
18.7 Years
PART 1

One night a boy named Ash Ketchum accompenied by his three friends Brock,Pikachu and Misty walked along an empty alley. "Ash we're lost again!." said Misty. "No we're not!" yelled Ash. Pikachu pulled on his pant leg and said"Pika pikapikachu chu ( I think she's right )." Suddenly a flash of lightning struck all parts of the galaxy! The yugioh world,Teen Titan's world,Inuyasha's world,and ofcourse pokemon's world. It struck Ash and his friends and sent them to.......... End of part 1.

DarknessMonkey

Avatars are for squares..

Age 30
...
Seen April 27th, 2009
Posted December 7th, 2008
1,418 posts
18.8 Years
Huh?
I Think It Needs Some Work...
You Need To Explain The Characters A Little Better...
But Good Start!

Been on this community for years and just finally realized it. I'M BACK!

Going to start making my Pokémon game for RMXP, need help with tilesets, spriting, and scripting. PM me for details!

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,329 posts
18.7 Years
Read the basic rules for Fanfiction writing stickied at the top. Can you edit/improvise on the next chapter? Or else it wouldn't be considered the proper format of a fic and will be closed. ^^;

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,329 posts
18.7 Years
Not just criticism, constructive criticism. It helps you get better at fic writing, and to say you don't want them is to be refusing one of the valuable thing a writer can receive.

Basically; it helps you. ;/ I know you're trying, and try your best. But we only want to help. ^^;

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.
Age 31
MD
Seen October 3rd, 2007
Posted June 20th, 2006
553 posts
18.7 Years
PART II........

When we last left Ash,Brock,Pikachu,and Misty had gotten lost down an alley and then suddenly got struck by a flash of lightning that sent them to........The Villian Passage!
"ow! Whoa man! Where are we?Hunh? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHh!!" Ash saw everybody lying on the ground looking like they were dead. Suddenly Misty woke up. "Can you shut up!"screamed Misty. *slap* "Hey it's not my fault we're here. said Ash. UUUh exactly where is here?" Brock and Pikachu woke up from all the screaming. "uuhhh guys any idea how we got here?"Brock said. Then a slash of a sword came swooping in! They all doged it in time. "There is more where that came from." said a dark voice.
End of part 2....... Tell me what you think and please no critisizing this time! :D

3 REGIS

Oo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oO

Age 29
NorCal
Seen September 11th, 2014
Posted December 25th, 2007
310 posts
18.7 Years
Yeah...But if that means all those worlds, then alot of chapters, which means, alot of writing. :classic:You missed a " on the 2nd part.
[TNT]---------------*

This signiture will explode soon. You better get to another page before it blows. Well?! Come on! Go! Stop reading this and go!!!

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,329 posts
18.7 Years
pichugirl; by saying you wish not to accept constructive criticism, you don't want your writing to get better.

Was this typed at the reply box? Get MS word or even wordpad, and carefully type it there, revise then, until you're sure you are ready to post it up. But don't rush through your writing! Look over mistakes, try paragraphing, not to mention the out of range dialogues for the characters. Otherwise, good luck with Part three. And please, don't rush. You have plenty of time! ^_~

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.

Aquacorde

⟡ not everything is sink or swim ⟡

Age 29
she/her/he/him
Ankh-Morpork
Seen 9 Hours Ago
Posted March 15th, 2023
12,275 posts
18.9 Years
This is a very interesting idea.... but you need to exend the chapters. And then break it down into paragraphs. Attempting to write dialogue when you don't know what you're doing is not something I'd advise. Studying grammar a bit would help. No offence, the plot is great, but... take advice from us.
Telling ya this as a friend!
-TSO
marie & casey & rosey
groc x aquacorde x juno 4ever | rp is just collaborative writing
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