The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club] Page 144

Started by Shining Raichu May 22nd, 2011 5:52 AM
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FenrirDarkWolf

Water Musician Fenrir

Male
Seen November 10th, 2013
Posted July 13th, 2013
140 posts
10.3 Years
GUYS!
I did it!
I came out to my brother! And told him about my boyfriend! And the fact he was 19.
He told me to be careful, and then went to tell me about his little gay experiences...
And now he's engaged to the woman he's been dating for years...
It's weird.

Somniac

Probably sleeping.

Age 31
Female
united kingdom
Seen September 1st, 2021
Posted June 23rd, 2017
736 posts
10.4 Years
GUYS!
I did it!
I came out to my brother! And told him about my boyfriend! And the fact he was 19.
He told me to be careful, and then went to tell me about his little gay experiences...
And now he's engaged to the woman he's been dating for years...
It's weird.
Congratulations! I'm sure most of us here know how hard that can be, especially to a peer rather than an adult. Glad he seemed understanding, he clearly cares for you as a brother which is great.

I always wished I had an older brother, I think it would have been pretty cool.

Rai

Quarter Life Crisis! @[email protected]

Age 31
Female
Sinnoh
Seen January 4th, 2017
Posted January 4th, 2017
4,521 posts
18.1 Years
How do you perceive the body odour of the gender you're attracted/not attracted to?
Yes. Women smell great to me, whereas guys don't seem to give off any kind of scent unless they are sweaty. But yeah, all women smell good to me- my girlfriend especially.

GUYS!
I did it!
I came out to my brother! And told him about my boyfriend! And the fact he was 19.
And that's great!


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Kanzler

naughty biscotti

Male
Toronto
Seen April 22nd, 2022
Posted March 11th, 2022
5,957 posts
14.8 Years
GUYS!
I did it!
I came out to my brother! And told him about my boyfriend! And the fact he was 19.
He told me to be careful, and then went to tell me about his little gay experiences...
Congrats! I would tell you the same thing, you can't trust older men. My girlfriend's ex being one year older scared the crap out of me and is still unsettling. But I guess my ego was at stake :P

What's it like dating someone older? or younger? I can't imagine myself doing either.

FenrirDarkWolf

Water Musician Fenrir

Male
Seen November 10th, 2013
Posted July 13th, 2013
140 posts
10.3 Years
Congratulations! I'm sure most of us here know how hard that can be, especially to a peer rather than an adult. Glad he seemed understanding, he clearly cares for you as a brother which is great.

I always wished I had an older brother, I think it would have been pretty cool.
Yeah, he's kinda stupid sometimes, but I love the poor lug.
Both he and his girlfriend understand, and they both have a metric ton of bi/gay friends.

Congrats! I would tell you the same thing, you can't trust older men. My girlfriend's ex being one year older scared the crap out of me and is still unsettling. But I guess my ego was at stake :P

What's it like dating someone older? or younger? I can't imagine myself doing either.
Well, it's pretty much the same as dating someone whose the same age. Especially with him because I believe I'm his first...
But I love him so much, but, the distance kills me...

FenrirDarkWolf

Water Musician Fenrir

Male
Seen November 10th, 2013
Posted July 13th, 2013
140 posts
10.3 Years
Yay! *claps* I'm glad for you :D

That's cool you were able to work up courage to tell him. Now you guys must be a little closer.
Ehh, as close as we'll ever get.
I still want to whack his head for being stupid sometimes though.

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
I think you underestimate your closeness, tbh. The fact that he felt comfortable enough with you to tell you specifics about any 'gay' experience he's had, or any sexual experience at all, says a lot. My sister knows I'm gay and I wouldn't feel comfortable even approaching a sexual topic with her, nor would she with me. I envy that a bit.

I always wanted a brother too, though.

Also re: smells... the guy I was dating wore Britney Spears perfume and I really liked him, and my roommate that I'm slowly falling in love with wears men's cologne. So there's nothing to that for me.
Moderator of General Chat
Seen September 18th, 2020
Posted February 18th, 2018
7,741 posts
16.6 Years
Also re: smells... the guy I was dating wore Britney Spears perfume and I really liked him, and my roommate that I'm slowly falling in love with wears men's cologne. So there's nothing to that for me.
I believe the question pertains only to natural body odour(s), not manufactured fragrances to which we are not genetically predisposed to react.

FenrirDarkWolf

Water Musician Fenrir

Male
Seen November 10th, 2013
Posted July 13th, 2013
140 posts
10.3 Years
Somehow, I feel like the rest of my family knows somehow, because, while I was working in the kitchen making dinner with my mom and sister, they told me that they're "proud of me for saying that" and my mom said "I'm proud of you for just being you" or something to the sort, and my dad wanted to talk to me earlier...

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
Somehow, I feel like the rest of my family knows somehow, because, while I was working in the kitchen making dinner with my mom and sister, they told me that they're "proud of me for saying that" and my mom said "I'm proud of you for just being you" or something to the sort, and my dad wanted to talk to me earlier...
If you just told a close family member, and then the rest of your family suddenly knows, I'd say it's pretty obvious what happened.

FenrirDarkWolf

Water Musician Fenrir

Male
Seen November 10th, 2013
Posted July 13th, 2013
140 posts
10.3 Years
If you just told a close family member, and then the rest of your family suddenly knows, I'd say it's pretty obvious what happened.
....Damn it.
Imma gonna go kick his booty.

Gyardosamped

entering snake habitat

Age 29
Male
Florida
Seen November 14th, 2014
Posted August 21st, 2014
1,462 posts
18 Years
Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though. :P

FenrirDarkWolf

Water Musician Fenrir

Male
Seen November 10th, 2013
Posted July 13th, 2013
140 posts
10.3 Years
Well, at least he made things easier for you, unless you wanted to tell your close relatives personally. Lol

I mean, now you know that they're fairly accepting of it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. He should have never said anything in the first place, though. :P
Eh. I know I'll have to go face-to-face on them with the topic later.
Just hearing it from the brother a good source does not make.

FenrirDarkWolf

Water Musician Fenrir

Male
Seen November 10th, 2013
Posted July 13th, 2013
140 posts
10.3 Years
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.

I'm glad it's going well
Yeah...
I think the hard part would be telling them my boyfriend is 19...

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
It's sort of bad etiquette to just.. tell the whole family something personal like that, but he probably knew they'd accept it.
And yet it's really common. At least from what I've heard from people. If you tell one family member and they think another family member will be okay then they often tell them without asking you first. You know, because "OMG, Bobby told me he was gay. Me! I have to tell someone!"

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
Yeah, they do. Especially when you're going through puberty and/or if you've been raised in such a way that you didn't learn or talk much about sexuality so that you won't necessarily have the frame of reference that you might ideally have.

Lots of people think they might be gay because they really are gay, or bi, or even trans, but then decide they'd rather live as straight or at least tell people they're straight, and maybe that's how they really feel. (I'm of the camp that thinks sexuality can be fluid for some people, but that's another topic.) And plenty of people go through feeling like they might be gay because they might have strong feelings for one particular person or another, not necessarily sexual or romantic, but strong enough that they wonder if there's something else at work.

Nakuzami

Age 24
Female
The Forgotten Crossroads
Seen October 17th, 2022
Posted December 31st, 2020
6,896 posts
12.7 Years
What's it like dating someone older? or younger? I can't imagine myself doing either.
Lolololololol
yeah, well, it's nothing big, in my opinion. It's maturity that matters; not age. Well, personally. LEGALLY age still matters. xD Too big a difference can seem odd . . . and obviously dating someone too young is just really freaking creepy. By that I mean <13, and that's if there's less than a four year difference between you. A) because it just seems odd for a twenty-year-old to date a thirteen-year-old, and B) it's kinda illegal in most places. However, if we take minors out of the equation (but I am one, so it's somewhat hard to do in my personal cases xD) then . . . well, the difference doesn't matter at all. Just maturity.
And even then that can be worked around in some cases. xD

As for the whole smell topic . . . UM, I actually understand this question completely. And it can certainly get some odd answers . . . like most people here say, they don't like the smell of sweaty people. When it comes to guys, or, more specifically, my guy . . . I kind of enjoy the smell of sweat. It's odd, but hey, whatever.
When it comes to girls? Normally they smell good, but that's typically artificial. And I'm kind of not shoving my face into the armpits of every female I see.

@FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?
"Sure, there're probably infinite dimensions, but I'm with you in this one, so why would I try to find them?"
~Neil Hilborn


Kanzler

naughty biscotti

Male
Toronto
Seen April 22nd, 2022
Posted March 11th, 2022
5,957 posts
14.8 Years
@FenrirDarkWolf - Regardless, I think it's good to get such things out in the open. Sometimes we need an outside mind to help us be objective. And sometimes it takes someone outside of the equation to find it's solution. So, while it can be a bit . . . um, rude, I guess, for someone to tell others that, it can be helpful. And, honestly, if it's one family member telling others, and they're genuinely trying to be helpful, I think that's . . . somewhat more okay than in other cases, if you know what I mean?
I tend to be really Machiavellian about this. If they tell someone and it turns for the better, I'd say they made really good judgement and they should be praised. But if they tell someone and it turns for the worse, I would want to smack them. I don't really care about what they do, just as long as they can bring into the world the result they intended.
Age 32
Female
Canada
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted March 18th, 2023
296 posts
10.7 Years
*pokes head in* Hello! May I join in?

I am aromantic asexual. Hopefully I don't step on any toes by joining, I know there's still a lot of controversy about whether asexuals who aren't bi-, homo-, or pan- romantic should be able to call themselves "queer". I myself am still struggling with whether I feel right joining in under the queer umbrella, as it's only been a couple of years since I discovered asexuality and realized that this is what I am.

Actually, I think that might relate somewhat to a question I saw above about whether or not being gay can be a "phase." I - and many asexuals - for the longest time assumed that because I didn't feel any kind of attraction to guys, ever, not even once, that I MUST be gay. I never came out as gay, partly because I was afraid of getting the "you're too young to know what you want" speech, and partly because, even though I knew I definitely wasn't straight, and it always felt wrong when I said I was straight, I had also never felt any kind of attraction to girls, and this confused me quite a bit.

Kanzler

naughty biscotti

Male
Toronto
Seen April 22nd, 2022
Posted March 11th, 2022
5,957 posts
14.8 Years
Don't ever feel pressured to decide whether you fit under a label or not. That's the opinion other people hold of you and you'll always find people with differing opinions. Personally, I consider asexuality to be a sexual minority and that suffices for you to be called queer. If others decide to exclude you then that's their ignorance and their loss.

All the while though, there is some fluidity in sexual and gender identity and people change over time. So whatever happens, it might be a phase? I mean this only that it's a possibility, and the important thing is not to focus on questions of identity too much. There's no point questioning yourself if you aren't going to find an answer and you, as an individual, don't really need an answer - only society and other people need answers.
Age 32
Female
Canada
Seen 15 Hours Ago
Posted March 18th, 2023
296 posts
10.7 Years
Thank you ^_^

I never felt pressured to label myself, just kind of awkward, because I didn't have the words to describe the way I felt, and didn't have the confidence when I was a teenager to tell people that I just wasn't attracted to ANYONE, because well, that was just weird (now, I don't really give a damn if people think I'm weird). I'm no longer struggling with my identity in terms of orientation, I basically knew within minutes of reading about it that hey, this is me. When I came out, it was the first time I was able to give myself a "label" (for lack of a better word) that didn't feel weird to say. Right now, like I said, it's just whether I consider myself queer or not that I'm still trying to figure out. I'm not overly concerned about it though - if an LGBTQ group wants to include me, I'm cool with that. If they don't, I'm fine being an ally. And if, eventually, there's some kind of collective agreement that aces will have their own group, I'm good with that too. As long as no one's trying to tell me my orientation doesn't exist, I'm happy, haha :)