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  #3851    
Old May 31st, 2013 (10:08 PM).
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Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
Worst part is she did this and hour before I needed to be at work. So now I haven't had a chance to recover since. And by recover I mean play Skyrim and kill everything in game, then find my dog to use as giant pillow, proceed cuddling while watching cheesy comedies all night. And then later in the week having a large bonfire with my bro.

I have a system.

I think I give up on romance though. Being a hopeless romantic sucks from this point of view.
:( You'll find someone great eventually. It is a process that takes a while depending on how you go through it. We'll be supporting you though

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Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
You'll die a little inside every time it happens. It's not too bad in the long run, though. I don't think I'm a romantic anymore and life is pretty awesome considering that what I had before was a dream and not a very good one. You'll learn that you're still able to chase dreams, it's just up to you to find the right ones to chase. I think it's very empowering to realize that you don't need to be limited by the expectations brought about by being a hopeless romantic, and as well realizing your ability to vie so fiercely for something. Somebody better always comes along, so I'm told, but it's probably true.
I agree with this. Times will be tough for a while, but you have to eventually move on. Someone else will come along :)
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  #3852    
Old June 1st, 2013 (2:36 AM).
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That is a really long label :o Cool you figured it out
Yeah, unfortunately I think It has the potential to work against it's credibility; I can imagine getting a quarter way through it and my dad bursting out laughing.

I'm probably going to simplify it when telling my parents and just say I'm Bi. (eventually)

I've told my closest cousin already though and he's been very accepting. :']

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Originally Posted by Inkblots View Post
I know exactly how you feel :) Congratulations on figuring it out!
I'm glad you figured yourself out too. :]

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Originally Posted by Twihiki_Amias View Post
ZOMG, CONGRATS CONGRATS!! :D The load must have been sooo bulky~ x.x
Not only had It caused me to question myself as to whether I was making up any attraction I had for guys o_0, but also caused me to have feelings that, when directed towards certain people, are deemed inappropriate by most. (e.g Relationships that start out platonic and are perceived by the other party to be fixed in place here can often turn into an unrequited kinda biz)


tyyyyy again you lovely people

I'll stop going on now though and join in the conversation.

@Insomniac: Deleting their number was a good move. Out of sight, out of mind.

It really pays to watch how much you think about things that are getting you down, and whether anything good comes out of it at all.

Focus on yourself and the things that you enjoy instead, and like Phantom said have to stuff to do.

@Aeon: That's aweeesoooome news! :DD

And well done, you were really brave. :]

Writing it down was a good move; I think this method of delivery really helps combat people underestimating the certainty that we feel and how much thought has gone into it all.

@Phantom: I'd like to believe that the reason they chose to text that instead of saying it face to face is because they were, to a certain extent, embarrassed. It's usually a problem they THEY have in these types of situations, which they are aware of, and just struggle to break it off without hurting the other person.

This is just what I'm getting from my experience though.
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  #3853    
Old June 1st, 2013 (3:50 AM).
Retro Bug Retro Bug is offline
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Interrupting the flow, per usual.

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Originally Posted by Counterfeit View Post
BI-ROMATIC/PANROMATIC DEMISEXUAL!
I'm going to say that I'm ignorant of these terms for the most part, care to explain them in your own terms? I mean, I looked it up and I sorta kinda get it.

Also, congrats Jose~
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  #3854    
Old June 1st, 2013 (4:36 AM).
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To add to the whole 'text break up thing', do people really view it as that bad?

I've had to break up with the majority of my exs, not because I hated them or anything but either the situation was hard or we had drifted a part a lot. Text was the best way for me to do it because I found the words almost impossible to say, the one time I did break up with someone face-to-face I was drunk and utterly fed up with them.

Basically, the ones I cared about I broke up with by text - imo it's short, quick, and means there isn't the potential to break down and reconsider.
  #3855    
Old June 1st, 2013 (4:38 AM).
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    Hey y'all, I just saw this thread & even as a straight I was curious to take a look
    I think it would be fun to join, not because I'm LGBT but because I might have stuff to add.
    Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater or anything just so you know, I think I have some experiences that I would like to share, they're not mine though they're of people I know in real life, also I might give some advice, maybe from a straight's point of view?

    I also don't want to say if I actually support gay marriage rights or not because:
    - If I say I do then the people in real life that I know, who are stalking me here, would hate me.
    - If I say I don't then all of you will hate me.


    Also this:

    This is kinda true in KSA, there are more secretly gay men than meets the eye, mainly because women don't exist in a growing boy's mind, since the only woman he will ever see is his mother, all other women across the country completely cover their body & face, so this makes sense.
    They never made a gay pride however, because obviously KSA is an Islamic country, & Islam forbids homosexuality, & the penalty in KSA is death, it's not the same however in other Islamic countries.
    I don't live there, but I know people who do & they told me this, but it's funny 'cause I was also told that the king already knows about the gays but he is pretending not to...

    So anyway, I would like to join, but I hope you allow me to refrain from adding a user-bar or anything similar in my sig.
    Cheers
      #3856    
    Old June 1st, 2013 (5:35 AM). Edited June 1st, 2013 by Josephine.
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Retro Bug View Post
    Interrupting the flow, per usual.



    I'm going to say that I'm ignorant of these terms for the most part, care to explain them in your own terms? I mean, I looked it up and I sorta kinda get it.

    Also, congrats Jose~
    ty!

    And ok:

    I feel romantic interest for both/any gender, but sexual interest only develops from a real connection. (Again though, gender is not a concern)

    That is to say the more interesting I find a human and the more I connect to a human, the more sexually attracted to them I am.

    I appreciate aesthetics greatly and this is in fact one of the main ways in which I feel a connection can begin to form (at least in the scenario of meeting someone new) but It's things like clothes and hair etc that are key here as they're a direct extension of personality.

    Appreciation of physical aesthetics develops, but to quote "Kitty Spoon Train" of asexuality.org it is "because their appearance [is] the physical form of the person underneath, rather than some kind of predetermined aesthetic form which I can appreciate in a depersonalised way" and so requires that connection.


    I think I've 'filed' myself correctly, but it is damn confusing. I've also been assured that when it gets this complicated wherever you feel you fit best is probably right.

    That said, if anyone disagrees or knows of a more fitting name for this let me know.
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      #3857    
    Old June 1st, 2013 (7:51 AM).
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Counterfeit View Post
    ty!

    And ok:

    I feel romantic interest for both/any gender, but sexual interest only develops from a real connection. (Again though, gender is not a concern)

    That is to say the more interesting I find a human and the more I connect to a human, the more sexually attracted to them I am.

    I appreciate aesthetics greatly and this is in fact one of the main ways in which I feel a connection can begin to form (at least in the scenario of meeting someone new) but It's things like clothes and hair etc that are key here as they're a direct extension of personality.

    Appreciation of physical aesthetics develops, but to quote "Kitty Spoon Train" of asexuality.org it is "because their appearance [is] the physical form of the person underneath, rather than some kind of predetermined aesthetic form which I can appreciate in a depersonalised way" and so requires that connection.


    I think I've 'filed' myself correctly, but it is damn confusing. I've also been assured that when it gets this complicated wherever you feel you fit best is probably right.

    That said, if anyone disagrees or knows of a more fitting name for this let me know.
    Haha I think you've got it all figured out. I don't think you'd need to fix the label, you've got it so precise now.

    Hey I've got a question

    Does anyone else who is gay have random crushes on the opposite sex? Even though you're gay?

    (Because I would in no way date/touch/etc a man, but damn RDJ is hot)
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      #3858    
    Old June 1st, 2013 (8:53 AM).
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    I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime?
      #3859    
    Old June 1st, 2013 (9:01 AM).
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
    I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime? :S
    Same here. I've liked about a total of 3-4 in my total life.

    But that doesn't stop me from knowing what my preferences are.

    I don't have to test out a relationship to know if the person's the kind of person I like.
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      #3860    
    Old June 1st, 2013 (9:22 AM).
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    Do you think people do that? Test out relationships? So once they break up with you they'll never want to get back together again? That makes the world feel soo much colder.
      #3861    
    Old June 1st, 2013 (9:28 AM).
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    Quote:
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    Do you think people do that? Test out relationships? So once they break up with you they'll never want to get back together again? That makes the world feel soo much colder. :(
    Sadly, people do.

    Bi curious people are the highest offenders (I have nothing against bi curious but it's the truth) they'll go out with someone to experiment and then break up with them if they figure out they're not bi or they just don't care.

    Of course there are good bi curious and mischievous bi curious (the ones who are only "bi" because they think it's cool)
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      #3862    
    Old June 6th, 2013 (7:01 AM).
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      So...
      My boyfriend and I broke up for too reason.
      One: I did find someone else my age, and, we're together now.
      Two: I feel like me and him just lost that.. Spark, y'know?

      But he didn't mind. He said he would wait for me. And for that, I'm forever grateful.

      I still feel a small bit bad for what Leon(my new guy) did for me... In that, he broke up with his boyfriend at the time, and the bastard had to Leon a "dick, stupid ass, and worthless" and I just wanted to find this guy and beat his ass so badly for putting Leon though hell like that.
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        #3863    
      Old June 6th, 2013 (8:34 AM).
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      LOL I know what that feels like (losing spark) and it's kind of hilarious to me. To think how quickly feelings can change in so short a span of time. I'm kind of apathetic about it now.
        #3864    
      Old June 6th, 2013 (11:13 AM).
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      I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

      This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
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        #3865    
      Old June 6th, 2013 (1:39 PM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
      I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

      This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
      I agree.. I think that a calm-down period of time is sort of required.. Otherwise you end up using the new boyfriend/girlfriend as a band-aid for the last one.
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        #3866    
      Old June 6th, 2013 (1:41 PM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
      I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

      This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
      Totally agree. Breaking up with someone to get with someone else means that you should have broken up with them sooner.

      My friend has had a similar situation where her (now) boyfriend broke up with his ex very shortly before they were officially together. It has led to her being paranoid, and for good reason too - he's cheated twice in the two years and she's still with him for some reason :s.

      I believe, no matter how 'friendly' a break up is, if your ex is in a relationship soon afterwards, you're going to feel heartbroken. You should have to decency to hide it for a while, I feel.
        #3867    
      Old June 6th, 2013 (4:41 PM). Edited June 6th, 2013 by Kiriyuuki Kasuna.
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
      I'm surprised that the lot of you have enough experience to narrow your label down so precisely. I think I've had crushes on like... 3 people in my lifetime?
      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Insomniac View Post
      Same here. I've liked about a total of 3-4 in my total life.

      But that doesn't stop me from knowing what my preferences are.

      I don't have to test out a relationship to know if the person's the kind of person I like.

      I myself have had roughly the same amount of crushes/love interests in my time. But, I know that I'll always will be Bisexual, no matter what.

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
      I know this is going to make me sound like a Debbie Downer, but if someone breaks up with their partner to start dating someone else, isn't that kind of a warning that they're not the most reliable person?

      This is why I think every relationship end should be followed by a cooling off period where you have a chance to reflect on things before you start a new relationship. I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
      I agree as well, and it is a warning that they aren't going to be the most reliable person to be with, because they can leave (and cheat) at anytime, sadly. Truthfully it is really awful to start dating someone else right after you break up with you current partner, it's shameful and hurtful in my opinion. But I suppose that these things are bound to happen and occur, y'know cause it's life, it's unpredictable.

      A cooling off period should be mandated in break-ups, it's ideal to have time for self reflection and to get your mind out of the gutter of the recent break-up.

      Quote:
      I mean, even if a relationship has been over before it's officially over, you should still wait because, well, it can look bad.
      Always wait no matter what, ALWAYS WAIT!!


      ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


      Oh, since we've been kinda lacking in the political discussion in the LGTB community, I'd thought I'd share this article I found in my Facebook Newsfeed:

      http://english.alarabiya.net/en/perspective/2013/04/18/Transgender-candidates-stake-claim-in-Pakistan-vote-.html#

      I only skimmed though as I was speechless and at loss for words, so would anyone like to give their sentiments and opinions on this?
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        #3868    
      Old June 6th, 2013 (5:20 PM).
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      The election's already over, and I don't think people would take her seriously. I wouldn't take her seriously though, she doesn't have much of a platform but a gimmick. And the article was spot on about patronage ruining democracy in Pakistan (which is a problem closer to home as well hmm? hmm?)

      I don't want to sound too much of a downer, but I don't really enjoy how LGBT politics is treated here, at least not in the form it is. It's hardly controversial, either we pat ourselves on the back or shake our heads - but in unison. I like articles like this one though, they're more discussion-worthy and that's something I'd like to see more of.
        #3869    
      Old June 6th, 2013 (8:14 PM).
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        ...:I
        Hmm... I see what you guys mean, but...
        It's weird you know? Like... It's weird, but I love him.

        I think... The relationship was really over before it was official. Things just... Never truly picked up after a while and we started growing apart... Me and him, I tried to talk to him, but sometimes I couldn't get an answer for a few days, and instead of worrying about it like I used to, I just shrugged it off. And then Leon came in, and... Well...

        I know I may sound unfaithful, but...
        I'm really, truly devoted to my partner, and it was hard to break up with him, don't get me wrong. And I do whatever to make them happy, and I can only hope he will try do the same for me.
        Maybe... It's because I do fall in love with the person, not the looks. And he just... Wormed his way in.

        *sigh* I am either making no sense, or just digging myself deeper, aren't I?
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          #3870    
        Old June 7th, 2013 (3:36 AM).
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          Nah, I think I get what you mean. Sounds amazingly cheesy, but sometimes that's what's best for both of you! As long as you know that your new bf is not just a "replacement" then I think it's alright, especially since you knew the last relationship was going downhill. While I do agree that a "cooling off" period is a good idea, just do whatever works for you as long as you know what you're doing! (and even if it doesn't quite work out, then at least you'll have that experience I guess)

          I took me about six months or so to finally start thinking about the new friend coming into my life. Now I think I'm happy to stay loyal to my gf, even though I'm still kinda trying to work out feelings. It'll be alright.

          Speaking of gf, I got to hear her voice today for the first time in a while, since we were doing a Pokemon trade. I sent her a Beartic so she could use it in the last gym, but afterward she found a wild Cubchoo IN SUMMER. Tomorrow she'll give my Beartic back. Anyway, it was nice to hear from her, even though she didn't speak much to me, I was mostly listening to her talk to her brother in Spanish XD
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            #3871    
          Old June 7th, 2013 (6:36 AM).
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            I'd like to join. :3 I saw this thread yesterday and fell in love with it. I am a strong believer in equal rights, as well as joined the It gets better project a few years ago. People can be kinda harsh when it comes to this sort of thing. Sorry for the short message, but I'm not good at introductions xD
              #3872    
            Old June 7th, 2013 (7:53 AM).
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              It doesn't matter for me anymore anyway...
              He broke up with me because I hurt his friend because I got jealous because they're so much closer...
              He won't even talk to me anymore...

              ****... ****! I feel so ****ing bad now and I keep trying to apologize to them... I don't want to lose him... Even as a friend... God, I feel so bad... They won't talk to me... I didn't mean to hurt them...
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                #3873    
              Old June 7th, 2013 (7:17 PM).
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              So it's been a week for me.

              You know what the first thing I noticed now that I'm alone?

              How much goddamn time I have on my hands.

              Seriously, I cleaned ALL THE THINGS yesterday. Everything. I found myself pacing. Video games didn't entertain me. I've been smoking more. Netflix asked me if I was alright because I watched nearly an season of Supernatural in almost one day, made it to episode 19.

              I am outright bored, and it doesn't help me with avoiding thinking of her.
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                #3874    
              Old June 8th, 2013 (9:34 AM).
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              Just a small update. The Supreme Court here in the US is (probably) going to deliver its decision on DOMA (the so-called Defense of Marriage Act which makes the federal government unable to recognize same-sex marriage, even if certain states do) and/or Prop 8 (the same-sex marriage ban in California). Depending on how things go there could be lots of changes or not many changes for the whole country.

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by BlahISuck View Post
              I don't want to sound too much of a downer, but I don't really enjoy how LGBT politics is treated here, at least not in the form it is. It's hardly controversial, either we pat ourselves on the back or shake our heads - but in unison. I like articles like this one though, they're more discussion-worthy and that's something I'd like to see more of.
              Would you elaborate on that a little? Personally I see this club as a safe space first and a discussion space second. If we're just self-congratulating each other I don't see a problem with that because some of us don't have much/any support in our daily lives.

              I'm all for heavy debates, but I don't know if most members who post or view this thread would want that.

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by PhantomX0990 View Post
              So it's been a week for me.

              You know what the first thing I noticed now that I'm alone?

              How much goddamn time I have on my hands.

              Seriously, I cleaned ALL THE THINGS yesterday. Everything. I found myself pacing. Video games didn't entertain me. I've been smoking more. Netflix asked me if I was alright because I watched nearly an season of Supernatural in almost one day, made it to episode 19.

              I am outright bored, and it doesn't help me with avoiding thinking of her.
              Netflix does that?

              Perhaps you could spend more time with friends and let that keep your mind occupied.
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                #3875    
              Old June 8th, 2013 (10:57 AM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
              Would you elaborate on that a little? Personally I see this club as a safe space first and a discussion space second. If we're just self-congratulating each other I don't see a problem with that because some of us don't have much/any support in our daily lives.

              I'm all for heavy debates, but I don't know if most members who post or view this thread would want that.
              The stories we post are usually really one-sided. Like there's no moral exploration and discussion going on, we know exactly what the response is going to be after reading the title. I'm talking about stories like "same sex marriage has been legalized in x" or "same sex marriage has been banned in y" of "z politician made outrageous comments". While every news story is new in itself, the ideas are nothing new, I guess to me it's just ... boring, repetitive and not very stimulating. News updates are cool, its just that I often see the buds of a discussion that disintegrates into yayy or nayy and watching a discussion that didn't have much potential to begin with unravel is a bit depressing to me.

              You're right that this is a safe-space first though and that's what it should remain. I think my rant is better directed at D&D - I've just been pining for some serious discussion and intellectual stimulation lately.
               
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