The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club] Page 21

Started by Shining Raichu May 22nd, 2011 5:52 AM
  • 247948 views
  • 4469 replies

Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
People say that parents and children love each other unconditionally. However if you came out as gay (or any other kind of minority sexuality) and your parents refused to accept you, thereby breaking their end of that deal, would you still be able to hold up yours?

What they had done for me prior to me telling them my sexuality cannot be undone. One disagreement, although major, wouldn't be enough for me to say that I could no longer love my parents.

Anyway, sorry for my absence. I went through a phase where LGBT stuff was kind of a sour topic, and just didn't wanna deal. I won't go into detail, don't worry lol. And then I got lazy and just lurked around a little bit, but didn't post. :x Hopefully now I'll pay more attention and, ya know, get involved. lol
BURY ME SIX FEET DEEP COVER ME IN CONCRETE
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U.Flame

Maker of Short Games

Age 27
Male
Unknown
Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted January 17th, 2023
1,322 posts
14.9 Years
Well my mom is VERY open-minded and I'm straight, but if I was in that situation, no, I wouldn't forgive them.
The more you learn about something, the more you realize just how much you don't know. I've shelved my more ambitious ideas in favor of smaller, more feasible projects and contributions. While I still have an ongoing project, and still intend to experiment with improving Gen 3's multiplayer, it's been much less stressful doing smaller things, like entries for Anthroyd's MAGM contests.

Of which you can check out here:
Naillevaihcam
Magical Altering Gym Menagerie

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
I just realised I never answered my own question!

I doubt I'd ever let my parents near me again. They've done a lot for me in my life, this is true, but knowing that they were doing these things on the condition that I like girls rather than boys would just colour my opinion of them forever. I would never again see them as anything more than disgusting bigots.

Well my mom is VERY open-minded and I'm straight
Damn, it sounds like your mom is awesome and wasted on straight children :P
Moderator of General Chat

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh

Age 31
Male
Flat Rock, MI, United States
Seen September 25th, 2016
Posted May 27th, 2012
1,254 posts
12.4 Years
Well, I'm straight, and I know for fact that if I turned out gay or bisexual my mom would still accept me. But, if she didn't, I would simply distance myself from her until she does. If she does at some time in the future say that she will accept me, then I will put my end of the "loving unconditionally" back up.

U.Flame

Maker of Short Games

Age 27
Male
Unknown
Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted January 17th, 2023
1,322 posts
14.9 Years
Damn, it sounds like your mom is awesome and wasted on straight children :P
Your DAMN right she's awesome! And it's not wasted either, we have a lesbian cousin she treats like a daughter. And our cousin treats her like a mother.
The more you learn about something, the more you realize just how much you don't know. I've shelved my more ambitious ideas in favor of smaller, more feasible projects and contributions. While I still have an ongoing project, and still intend to experiment with improving Gen 3's multiplayer, it's been much less stressful doing smaller things, like entries for Anthroyd's MAGM contests.

Of which you can check out here:
Naillevaihcam
Magical Altering Gym Menagerie

Nihilego

[color=#95b4d4]ユービーゼロイチ パラサイト[/color]

Male
scotland
Seen September 28th, 2018
Posted March 16th, 2018
8,874 posts
12.1 Years
Can I join, please?

I guess a little about myself is in order? Firstly, for the sake of the main topic of this club, I'm straight. I've never had even remotely any sort of issue with LGBT stuff and I've aways been happy to attend gay pride festivals and all that. I actually went to one in Brighton in England a couple of years back and it was honestly an experience I'll never forget. I wish I had some photos to post or something like that. Unfortunately though, I won't be attending them anymore since (at least in that area) people are now being charged money to be allowed to show pride in their sexuality. No way am I going pay for what I thought was the right to support this. This is utter rubbish imo and could make an interesting discussion point.

Anyway what made me want to join this club now was that I've realised how sick I am of seeing blatant discrimination, assumptions, and rushed conclusions about LGBT matters both online and offline, especially in relation to homosexual parents.

So uh yeah, hi. ^^
s͎̭̚ ̪ͭͩy͔͚̰̻̗̩̺ͣ́ͨ̌͡ ̩̳̙̖̖̺͡m̷̱̘͎̝̘̣͒͌͒̚ ͇͖̔̐̔b̝̪͚̞̦ͬ ̢͔̱̟̞̝͙̮͌̅̈̓̿̿i͐̈̃͊ͯ̎҉̟̠͓ ͕̥̣̪̠̃͑͞ỏ̵͕̠̱̬̬̞͛̋ ̨͈̻̱̟̱͓̪n͒̒͂͊̀ ̻̰̰̜̅̃͒̂͞tͭ̍̈́ ͙͇̘͕͍̜̖ͫ̌̊̿ͫ̂̀:̵̾͒̔͂ ̟͉̜̽͒͌͜p͎͇͎̦̺̙͒͆͋́ͅ ̨̠̠̘͚͖̺ͫ͛̎̉a̲͍̫͖͗̄ ͓͖͍̯̤̼͙̿̆̂̂̄r̬̟̮͖̥̼̆̓͑̃̾ͬ̉͟ͅ ̬̼̗͊͛a̛̯̮ ̮̬͍̙̮̤́ͪŝ͊ͬ̒̎̃ ̧̝̮͎͙͆̓ì͈̹̻̱̾͝ ̘͉͕̭̊ͤ̉̓tͩͯ̉̐ͨͬ̚͏̻̺̖̮ ̞̘͂̋̋ͯ͑ͦ͗e̞͔̎̇ͫ͊͗

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
Can I join, please?

I guess a little about myself is in order? Firstly, for the sake of the main topic of this club, I'm straight. I've never had even remotely any sort of issue with LGBT stuff and I've aways been happy to attend gay pride festivals and all that. I actually went to one in Brighton in England a couple of years back and it was honestly an experience I'll never forget. I wish I had some photos to post or something like that. Unfortunately though, I won't be attending them anymore since (at least in that area) people are now being charged money to be allowed to show pride in their sexuality. No way am I going pay for what I thought was the right to support this. This is utter rubbish imo and could make an interesting discussion point.

Anyway what made me want to join this club now was that I've realised how sick I am of seeing blatant discrimination, assumptions, and rushed conclusions about LGBT matters both online and offline, especially in relation to homosexual parents.

So uh yeah, hi. ^^
No, you cannot join. Go away.

Yes, of course! Welcome, Razor Leaf! If there is one thing this community could always use, it's more allies. :D

The most laughable argument I've seen online against homosexual parents is that the kids may be bullied at school for having two parents of the same gender... as though this is a reason to keep them in orphanages. The people making this argument should go to an orphanage and then see if they can still sleep at night.
Moderator of General Chat

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
People say that parents and children love each other unconditionally. However if you came out as gay (or any other kind of minority sexuality) and your parents refused to accept you, thereby breaking their end of that deal, would you still be able to hold up yours?

This is actually my own experience, more or less. I'm not close to my parents now. I feel like parents are the ones who are supposed to show unconditional love and when they don't, well, they don't deserve my consideration.

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
Speaking of parents... my mom is just really... getting under my skin.

She said she wants to understand what I'm feeling, and is trying not to be judgmental/mean... but in the process of not being mean, she's told me that I'm disgusting, deformed, and that it's her fault for not raising me right, which is basically the same as saying that I'm a failure to her. I know she's not meaning to offend me, but still...

The worst part is that one minute she can be telling me all of this stuff, and acting all depressed, and then the next she acts like everything is peachy, if she's around other people. It just really gets on my nerves... and I hate how she acts like she accepts me, but in reality she doesn't. I wish she'd either just accept it, or kick me out... just pick one.


At this point, I feel like a failed experiment or something... and I don't even understand why I have to deal with this in the first place. My favorite color is orange, which most people don't like, and no one complains about that. I literally don't see what the difference is.

U.Flame

Maker of Short Games

Age 27
Male
Unknown
Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted January 17th, 2023
1,322 posts
14.9 Years
Tell her that. Tell her she makes you feel like a failure. She needs to know what effect her words have.
The more you learn about something, the more you realize just how much you don't know. I've shelved my more ambitious ideas in favor of smaller, more feasible projects and contributions. While I still have an ongoing project, and still intend to experiment with improving Gen 3's multiplayer, it's been much less stressful doing smaller things, like entries for Anthroyd's MAGM contests.

Of which you can check out here:
Naillevaihcam
Magical Altering Gym Menagerie

NurseBarbra

くら くら?

Age 28
Male
Seen February 4th, 2017
Posted June 3rd, 2014
322 posts
12.8 Years
Speaking of parents... my mom is just really... getting under my skin.

She said she wants to understand what I'm feeling, and is trying not to be judgmental/mean... but in the process of not being mean, she's told me that I'm disgusting, deformed, and that it's her fault for not raising me right, which is basically the same as saying that I'm a failure to her. I know she's not meaning to offend me, but still...

The worst part is that one minute she can be telling me all of this stuff, and acting all depressed, and then the next she acts like everything is peachy, if she's around other people. It just really gets on my nerves... and I hate how she acts like she accepts me, but in reality she doesn't. I wish she'd either just accept it, or kick me out... just pick one.


At this point, I feel like a failed experiment or something... and I don't even understand why I have to deal with this in the first place. My favorite color is orange, which most people don't like, and no one complains about that. I literally don't see what the difference is.
Tell her that. Tell her she makes you feel like a failure. She needs to know what effect her words have.
One, No, to both these, It's just gonna make things worse.
Two, Ask her to have a chat with you.Sit down, and just say something like "I know you don't accept it, but I'm still the same person I've always been, I'm just being my full self". She mostly sounds like she's going through the 5 stages of grief (or in this case coming out), Where when It happened to me, from personal experience, My dad yelled, then went really quiet, then tried to set me up with several girls, then he ignored me, and then he just got on with it.
TL;DR : She's going through shock, You're still the same person you've always been, It's not like you've suddenly grown 5 extra arms, You're just being your true self. (ok now I'm rambling.)

U.Flame

Maker of Short Games

Age 27
Male
Unknown
Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted January 17th, 2023
1,322 posts
14.9 Years
I think, if she really cared, she wouldn't even go through stages of grief.
The more you learn about something, the more you realize just how much you don't know. I've shelved my more ambitious ideas in favor of smaller, more feasible projects and contributions. While I still have an ongoing project, and still intend to experiment with improving Gen 3's multiplayer, it's been much less stressful doing smaller things, like entries for Anthroyd's MAGM contests.

Of which you can check out here:
Naillevaihcam
Magical Altering Gym Menagerie
Age 31
Male
Scotland
Seen August 1st, 2015
Posted June 2nd, 2012
191 posts
12.6 Years
People say that parents and children love each other unconditionally. However if you came out as gay (or any other kind of minority sexuality) and your parents refused to accept you, thereby breaking their end of that deal, would you still be able to hold up yours?

This is actually my own experience, more or less. I'm not close to my parents now. I feel like parents are the ones who are supposed to show unconditional love and when they don't, well, they don't deserve my consideration.
When I was 15/16 I plucked up the courage to attempt to tell my mum; I asked her, hypothetically speaking, what she would do if I were gay. She told me that she wouldn't be able to love me anymore.

I don't think anyone has ever said or done anything as hurtful as that to me in my entire life.

I thought that parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally. I'm not perfect by any manner, but I'm not a bad son: I go to church, I don't really drink, I don't do drugs, I don't fight, I worked hard at school, I'm now studying hard at university, etc. But all because I find guys attractive, all that suddenly counts for nothing.

The ironic thing is, I still love her; I can't stop loving her, she's my mum (despite how hurtful she might be). She's going to die soon so I'm currently trying to work up the courage to tell her again so I can be open and honest and be at peace with her before she goes.
Pokemon X - Friend code: 1435-4688-7520
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Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
One, No, to both these, It's just gonna make things worse.
Two, Ask her to have a chat with you.Sit down, and just say something like "I know you don't accept it, but I'm still the same person I've always been, I'm just being my full self". She mostly sounds like she's going through the 5 stages of grief (or in this case coming out), Where when It happened to me, from personal experience, My dad yelled, then went really quiet, then tried to set me up with several girls, then he ignored me, and then he just got on with it.
TL;DR : She's going through shock, You're still the same person you've always been, It's not like you've suddenly grown 5 extra arms, You're just being your true self. (ok now I'm rambling.)
I'm not sure if this is right, really... she never yelled or anything. She's acted very kind and gentle, it's just that that's not how she really feels... and I don't know whether this is my 'true self' or not... I mean, I can't deny that I like guys... but I also can't deny that I used to like girls... I was saying that I never liked girls to begin with, and that I used to be asexual, but that's just not true... I was just trying to justify it for myself.

I used to be straight. Like, the kind of guy who wears pink shirts, and jokes about being gay all the time, because I was so straight, no one would think otherwise no matter what I did.

Why did I change?

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
When I was 15/16 I plucked up the courage to attempt to tell my mum; I asked her, hypothetically speaking, what she would do if I were gay. She told me that she wouldn't be able to love me anymore.

I don't think anyone has ever said or done anything as hurtful as that to me in my entire life.

I thought that parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally. I'm not perfect by any manner, but I'm not a bad son: I go to church, I don't really drink, I don't do drugs, I don't fight, I worked hard at school, I'm now studying hard at university, etc. But all because I find guys attractive, all that suddenly counts for nothing.

The ironic thing is, I still love her; I can't stop loving her, she's my mum (despite how hurtful she might be). She's going to die soon so I'm currently trying to work up the courage to tell her again so I can be open and honest and be at peace with her before she goes.
This has to be the most horrible story I've read tonight. I honestly don't think, even in the extremely sad circumstances you're facing, I'd be able to overcome the hurtful things she has said. You are far stronger than I am.

I'm really sorry to hear that she's soon to pass away, I can't even imagine. I know it sounds hollow and presumptuous coming from a stranger who is likely not even in the same country, but I'm here for you if you need me. :)

Speaking of parents... my mom is just really... getting under my skin.

She said she wants to understand what I'm feeling, and is trying not to be judgmental/mean... but in the process of not being mean, she's told me that I'm disgusting, deformed, and that it's her fault for not raising me right, which is basically the same as saying that I'm a failure to her. I know she's not meaning to offend me, but still...

The worst part is that one minute she can be telling me all of this stuff, and acting all depressed, and then the next she acts like everything is peachy, if she's around other people. It just really gets on my nerves... and I hate how she acts like she accepts me, but in reality she doesn't. I wish she'd either just accept it, or kick me out... just pick one.


At this point, I feel like a failed experiment or something... and I don't even understand why I have to deal with this in the first place. My favorite color is orange, which most people don't like, and no one complains about that. I literally don't see what the difference is.
You, sir, are terminally nice. It seems to me that anyone could attack you for your sexuality and you'd find some way to give them the benefit of the doubt. This makes you a great person, but also an easy target. You need to fight for yourself - mother or not, it's not OK to speak to you that way. Good intentions or not, it's not OK to speak to you that way. If for no other reason, you need to speak up and tell her that.

She gave you life, but that doesn't give her the right to trample all over it, regardless of her intentions.
Moderator of General Chat

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
You, sir, are terminally nice.
Haha, I can't help but laugh at that... I suppose it's true though.

Generally speaking, she's being very nice about it... but she's not doing a very good job of hiding her true feelings. She doesn't like it, and she thinks it's disgusting... I doubt me fighting with her will change that. I'll tell her how I feel though, because I don't think she even realizes she's said anything offensive.

Also, sorry about that last post... it was the middle of the night, and I kind of broke down a little bit. =/ It's not exactly untrue though, so I won't delete it.

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
QK: whether you were straight before and gay now or asexual before or always gay, I don't know, and I don't know why you changed, but it's not a bad thing in any case. It's difficult, of course, when you have family who don't understand, but you can only show them that you haven't suddenly turned into a monster. You've changed things between you and your mom by coming out and the best thing you could do for her is give her a chance to adjust to it. She could come around. It happens often enough.

I think, if she really cared, she wouldn't even go through stages of grief.
People go through these feelings any time something significant in their lives changes and it's normal for someone to go through those feelings.

QuilavaKing's mom is having to reconcile two opposing views so she's probably trying to do some mental bargaining, trying to find some way she can still love her son and not have to be accepting of gay people. Eventually she'll have to come to terms with it.

U.Flame

Maker of Short Games

Age 27
Male
Unknown
Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted January 17th, 2023
1,322 posts
14.9 Years
Like I said earlier, she does need to know what effect your words have. How to bring it up to her properly won't be easy though.
The more you learn about something, the more you realize just how much you don't know. I've shelved my more ambitious ideas in favor of smaller, more feasible projects and contributions. While I still have an ongoing project, and still intend to experiment with improving Gen 3's multiplayer, it's been much less stressful doing smaller things, like entries for Anthroyd's MAGM contests.

Of which you can check out here:
Naillevaihcam
Magical Altering Gym Menagerie

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
Also, sorry about that last post... it was the middle of the night, and I kind of broke down a little bit. =/ It's not exactly untrue though, so I won't delete it.
Don't be sorry, this is exactly what we're here for :)
Moderator of General Chat

-ty-

Don't Ask, Just Tell

Male
USA
Seen May 2nd, 2015
Posted December 22nd, 2012
792 posts
13.6 Years
People say that parents and children love each other unconditionally. However if you came out as gay (or any other kind of minority sexuality) and your parents refused to accept you, thereby breaking their end of that deal, would you still be able to hold up yours?

This is kind of perplexing me. I understand that some parents would believe that their child would be going to hell, and in their best interest they would not want them to be gay. But with that being said, if you truly believed that your child was going to hell would you want to make their life on Earth hell as well? Also, the gay to straight reform camps emulate that sense of trying to give your child salvation. But these do not work, but I think the parents do have good intentions. Ultimately, it is not the end of the world if a parent cannot except their child's sexuality (as long as they accept their child as their own), however, nothing in the bible compels them to reject their children all together if they are gay, and that would be crossing the line, to the point in which I could not really respect them because they would be against me without any societal, religious, or secular moral backing.

Don't be a rotten apple!
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deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh

Age 31
Male
Flat Rock, MI, United States
Seen September 25th, 2016
Posted May 27th, 2012
1,254 posts
12.4 Years
-ty-: Your mention of reform camps brings me to another question I'd like to ask the entire alliance.

Though we don't agree with what gay reform camps try to do, do you think they have good intentions, and what they do is out of love and not hate? Or do you think they treat these like a prison for gays to become "rehabilitated" in the eyes of their religion?

U.Flame

Maker of Short Games

Age 27
Male
Unknown
Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted January 17th, 2023
1,322 posts
14.9 Years
This is why I'm agnostic. I believe religion causes a lot of moral problems. No offense to anyone religious. But even religious parents have to accept their children for who they are. I just wish instead of sending their children to camps, they would learn about homosexuality and know that there is nothing wrong with it.
The more you learn about something, the more you realize just how much you don't know. I've shelved my more ambitious ideas in favor of smaller, more feasible projects and contributions. While I still have an ongoing project, and still intend to experiment with improving Gen 3's multiplayer, it's been much less stressful doing smaller things, like entries for Anthroyd's MAGM contests.

Of which you can check out here:
Naillevaihcam
Magical Altering Gym Menagerie

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
Though we don't agree with what gay reform camps try to do, do you think they have good intentions, and what they do is out of love and not hate? Or do you think they treat these like a prison for gays to become "rehabilitated" in the eyes of their religion?
Ultimately it doesn't matter what their intentions are, the point is they are wrong and need to stop immediately. However I truly do believe that their intentions are not good - rehabilitation of gays just screams "agenda". They're trying to fix what they don't want to bother understanding - usually in the name of Jesus Christ - and it's nothing short of disgusting.
Moderator of General Chat

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh

Age 31
Male
Flat Rock, MI, United States
Seen September 25th, 2016
Posted May 27th, 2012
1,254 posts
12.4 Years
My answer to my own question is that, though it initially seems that they might have good intentions, it ultimately boils down to them treating gays like inferiors or like they're evil. I believe the latter of my question is true, that they see them as a prison to send those who go against their views and try to "rehabilitate" them, and then when they can't change it, they view it as the person's fault for being an "abomination". And, therefore, they treat them worse than I would treat my worst enemy. I truly believe that it is possible for someone to be religious and not be homophobic, but that sight is a very rare one.