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  #1226    
Old October 23rd, 2011 (8:01 PM).
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
    I'm Catholic (by choice). My options are limited. I don't see him as a bad person, just misguided. I might speak to him about it, though. Members of the county Republican Party and the local Tea Party know my views on same-sex marriage, and they still respect me even though we disagree.
    No point to speak about it. He probably draws that from the bible and interprets it literally, and that's his view about it. Sure he knows your view, but you'd be incredibly egotistical to actually think he was directing his entire mass solely at you. If you can get past the fact that he sees it in a different light in order to continue going to mass, then leave it alone. Why pay more mind to differences like that then need be? If he brings it up every time only then would I speak to him and tell him it makes you uncomfortable and you find it unneccessary in an age such as this.
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      #1227    
    Old October 23rd, 2011 (8:02 PM).
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    I have a bit of a juicy question.

    Would you ever have sex with your significant other's sibling in order to produce a child with genetic material from both sides of the family?
      #1228    
    Old October 23rd, 2011 (8:10 PM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
      I have a bit of a juicy question.

      Would you ever have sex with your significant other's sibling in order to produce a child with genetic material from both sides of the family?
      I guess this question applies to me even though I'm not LGBT..
      If my boyfriend couldn't have kids and is brother could; I still wouldn't do it, even if he and his brother consented. I find sex to be an intimate thing that's to be shared with only the one you love.. and so I couldn't bring myself to do that.

      There are other ways for it; such as invetro fertilization/ surrogate mothers. It's pricey but at least it wouldn't be an invasion of intimacy/ privacy.

      But alas, if I couldn't have a kid with my boyfriend, I'd adopt. DNA doesn't mean much to me.. a mother can be a mother without the kid having to come from my belly. Simple~ :3
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        #1229    
      Old October 23rd, 2011 (8:27 PM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Kura View Post
      I guess this question applies to me even though I'm not LGBT..
      If my boyfriend couldn't have kids and is brother could; I still wouldn't do it, even if he and his brother consented. I find sex to be an intimate thing that's to be shared with only the one you love.. and so I couldn't bring myself to do that.

      There are other ways for it; such as invetro fertilization/ surrogate mothers. It's pricey but at least it wouldn't be an invasion of intimacy/ privacy.

      But alas, if I couldn't have a kid with my boyfriend, I'd adopt. DNA doesn't mean much to me.. a mother can be a mother without the kid having to come from my belly. Simple~ :3
      A surrogate isn't genetically similar to your boyfriend, though. That's the point. It's so the child could have similar genetics.
        #1230    
      Old October 23rd, 2011 (8:30 PM).
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      Quote:
      Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
      I'm Catholic (by choice). My options are limited. I don't see him as a bad person, just misguided. I might speak to him about it, though. Members of the county Republican Party and the local Tea Party know my views on same-sex marriage, and they still respect me even though we disagree.
      Not all churches are like that, though. There was maybe one political homily in my Catholic church per year, and even then they didn't talk about same-sex marriage, just about abortion. The views in general won't change when you go from church to church (although they are much more lax than most people tend to think), but how loudly they proclaim them will. Unless you have a very good reason to stay, I wouldn't hesitate to switch churches. When I was in church, I loved every pastor that was there, as well as the community, and I firmly believe that if you don't have that with your church then it's time to move on.
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        #1231    
      Old October 23rd, 2011 (8:39 PM).
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        Quote:
        Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
        A surrogate isn't genetically similar to your boyfriend, though. That's the point. It's so the child could have similar genetics.
        No, but obviously the child would have my set of genetics, (and possibly the DNA of his brother that way or of another donor) without having to put peepees in unwanted places. ;3
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          #1232    
        Old October 23rd, 2011 (8:41 PM).
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
          I have a bit of a juicy question.

          Would you ever have sex with your significant other's sibling in order to produce a child with genetic material from both sides of the family?
          I thought about it, but I would rather have the zygote fertilized in vitro! haha
          I really wouldn't have sex with her, but I would like to have a piece of that DNA, lol.
          It would be great have a child that is 50/50 blood quantum between me and my partner.

          On the other hand, I know it would be hard on the sibling, as far as carrying and giving birth to the child, and then, having to give up the child as her own. (although she would still have a close relationship with the child) I also think that there are so many children that need to be adopted. I would love to give a child that has very little a great life.

          anyone else been in a relationship with a partner that doesn't deserve you?

          Yeah! He didn't have a job. He didn't go to school. He was a drug addict. He didn't have any respect for me. I supported him financially and emotionally. The only thing he had was glib charm and sexiness, lmao. Although, I'd have to say that his "performance" abilities were not up to my standards; stop popping pills, and start popping...okay, I won't go there, lmao.

          In future, I promised myself I would be extremely selective. You need to have intelligence, degree(degree-seeking), respectfulness, compassion, morality(in the ballpark of what I think is moral), and the handsomeness to top it all off.
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            #1233    
          Old October 23rd, 2011 (9:00 PM). Edited October 23rd, 2011 by FreakyLocz14.
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          What do you guys think of this It Doesn't Get Better video?
            #1234    
          Old October 23rd, 2011 (9:09 PM).
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          Quote:
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          What do you guys think of this It Doesn't Get Better video.
          I'm only halfway through and I think this guy is an intensely negative person. :<
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            #1235    
          Old October 23rd, 2011 (9:56 PM).
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            I'm only halfway through and I think this guy is an intensely negative person. :<
            I second this; an opinion depends greatly on your outlook, how you perceive failure and mishappens, environment, and want for change. This guy's outlook is just down, down, down.
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              #1236    
            Old October 24th, 2011 (6:41 AM).
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            Wouldn't have sex with that person, but in-vitro, surrogacy or adoption would be acceptable to me. But I highly doubt that I'd seek to have children if me and my partner couldn't have them...not without being together with that person for a LONG time and being sure the relationship is not only stable but rewarding even after the initial "love at first sight" wears off. But I'm just a careful person in that way, I wouldn't even bear a child with a member of the opposite sex unless I was sure I could take proper responsibility for it.


            In reply to the "It doesn't get better" video, how old is this guy? I don't think he looks very old, maybe late twenties at most, so he's in absolutely no position to speak so negatively...especially if he didn't or couldn't find someone supportive to hang on to. It sucks but there are cases where it doesn't get better by much or very fast.

            That doesn't invalidate the ideal of "It gets better" though. Not in my opinion.
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              #1237    
            Old October 24th, 2011 (7:38 AM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
              What do you guys think of this It Doesn't Get Better video?
              That was really quite depressing to watch. I dont know what has happened to him to make him so bitter, but I truly hope I dont end up sounding like him. I mean sure he proved some fair points but I dont think I could be all too happy constantly thinking that way and sharing his outlook.
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                #1238    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (8:02 AM).
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              Not all churches are like that, though. There was maybe one political homily in my Catholic church per year, and even then they didn't talk about same-sex marriage, just about abortion. The views in general won't change when you go from church to church (although they are much more lax than most people tend to think), but how loudly they proclaim them will. Unless you have a very good reason to stay, I wouldn't hesitate to switch churches. When I was in church, I loved every pastor that was there, as well as the community, and I firmly believe that if you don't have that with your church then it's time to move on.
              I agree with this mostly, but I think you're wrong about views not being different from one church to the next. I've been to two churches (the only churches I ever remember being to in my life) where people were shockingly accepting. In the first one, I had a little trouble because everyone there knew me before they knew I was a girl, but in the second one it was really fantastic. I hadn't known anyone that went there, and I only told them my girlname and didn't explain anyone even one single thing, and they were immediate in accepting me and using the right name/pronouns. If they were intolerant and were simply less vocal about it, I would have felt the underlying layer of awkwardness, however I felt none of that with even one single member.

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Pachy View Post
              In reply to the "It doesn't get better" video, how old is this guy? I don't think he looks very old, maybe late twenties at most, so he's in absolutely no position to speak so negatively...especially if he didn't or couldn't find someone supportive to hang on to. It sucks but there are cases where it doesn't get better by much or very fast.
              I watched it and it was actually less negative than I expected considering how people were talking about it in this thread. I mean, he actually got to a really important point, which I didn't think he would.
              I definitely think he's too negative though, not for his age but really for anybody, because in my own very short, very limited experience even for me it has gotten much better, but now that I think of it my perspective has changed just as much, if not more than my actual situation.
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                #1239    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (8:08 AM).
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              I agree with this mostly, but I think you're wrong about views not being different from one church to the next. I've been to two churches (the only churches I ever remember being to in my life) where people were shockingly accepting. In the first one, I had a little trouble because everyone there knew me before they knew I was a girl, but in the second one it was really fantastic. I hadn't known anyone that went there, and I only told them my girlname and didn't explain anyone even one single thing, and they were immediate in accepting me and using the right name/pronouns. If they were intolerant and were simply less vocal about it, I would have felt the underlying layer of awkwardness, however I felt none of that with even one single member.
              By views I mean the doctrines of the church. I don't know if the two churches you went to were of the same denomination, but from one Catholic church to the next they teach to love everyone no matter who they are or their sexuality, it's a blanket belief that covers every Catholic church. Yeah, some people are more tolerant than others and that affects the attitude of the church in general, but the doctrines don't change.
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                #1240    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (8:40 AM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
              What do you guys think of this It Doesn't Get Better video?
              This was actually kind of fascinating to watch. I didn't know there was any backlash to the It Gets Better campaign except from people who were generally anti-gay already.

              A lot of the views this guy has are kind of not specific to queer people. Like he talked about how some people are stuck in rural areas with the same bullies they grew up with, or that only the skinny people can be thought of as pretty. That's the kind of thing that anyone could have to deal with, not just among queer people. I mean, I don't want to validate his whole point, but as far as I looked at it, the It Gets Better message was "High school sucks because you have to go there and once you're done with it you'll have the freedom to make your own choices." I personally never thought the message was a guarantee that life would be all sunshine and roses, just that you'll mature and have more experiences with time and you'll be a stronger person for it. Which I think is a totally cool message to be giving people who maybe feel like high school is all they'll ever know.

              But yeah, I'm glad there are views like this guy's. It helps keep people honest if they can address the things dissenters like him bring up. If there is one thing about the gay community which I think needs addressing it's that it's not homogeneous and does have legitimate issues it needs to deal with.
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                #1241    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (9:20 AM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
              This was actually kind of fascinating to watch. I didn't know there was any backlash to the It Gets Better campaign except from people who were generally anti-gay already.

              A lot of the views this guy has are kind of not specific to queer people. Like he talked about how some people are stuck in rural areas with the same bullies they grew up with, or that only the skinny people can be thought of as pretty. That's the kind of thing that anyone could have to deal with, not just among queer people. I mean, I don't want to validate his whole point, but as far as I looked at it, the It Gets Better message was "High school sucks because you have to go there and once you're done with it you'll have the freedom to make your own choices." I personally never thought the message was a guarantee that life would be all sunshine and roses, just that you'll mature and have more experiences with time and you'll be a stronger person for it. Which I think is a totally cool message to be giving people who maybe feel like high school is all they'll ever know.

              But yeah, I'm glad there are views like this guy's. It helps keep people honest if they can address the things dissenters like him bring up. If there is one thing about the gay community which I think needs addressing it's that it's not homogeneous and does have legitimate issues it needs to deal with.
              Yeah, I think people raise their expectations too high because they think that everything that is positive automatically lacks serious flaws, and that suffering and happiness are mutually exclusive.
              Imperfection is beauty in my opinion. Some stuff sucks, and that's how you tell what's good and fun and happy.

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Toujours View Post


              By views I mean the doctrines of the church. I don't know if the two churches you went to were of the same denomination, but from one Catholic church to the next they teach to love everyone no matter who they are or their sexuality, it's a blanket belief that covers every Catholic church. Yeah, some people are more tolerant than others and that affects the attitude of the church in general, but the doctrines don't change.
              They were both Lutheran.
              Um I think I misinterpreted you at first. xD Sorry. I thought you meant intolerance was a rooted doctrine of the church that can't be completely removed and I disagreed since I know tolerant churches, but I think we agreed in the first place. :3
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                #1242    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (3:07 PM).
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              Quote:
              Originally Posted by FreakyLocz14 View Post
              What do you guys think of this It Doesn't Get Better video?
              Definitely went into this thinking he was going to be one of those self-agonizing gays who've experienced a little bit more than their fair share of discrimination, and have become debbie-downers about being gay in the adult world. However, he brought up a good few points.

              Even so, I think his arguments are more geared towards the exceptions and not the majority. I think he had very well thought-out arguments, and yeah, the "it gets better" campaign has somewhat sugar-coated the world for hopeful gay teens. It's not like that. Welcome to the world, children. Whether you're a minority, a woman, queer, handicapped, or different in any way, you're going to face discrimination. It doesn't stop. What does change is that you'll have better tools in which to remedy your issues with discrimination in the future. Not only will you obtain freedom to escape your possible hostile surroundings for that of a more comfortable locale, but you gain the strength to endure what people throw at you. Don't get me wrong, it's still going to hurt, but grab a gallon of ice cream and begin the healing process.

              His viewpoints on the gay community are pretty spot on. While I think even his own arguments proves that there is, albeit minimally, a community to speak of... we're far from tight-knit. We police each other and judge, and when we do actually come together, it's for something camp... only really giving the heterosexual majority more reason to further ostracize us. The truth is, we're individuals, and while having a common interest in being "different" in regards to our sexuality or gender/sexual identities may bring us "together," saying we are one is grossly overgeneralizing. However, as he put it, to be considered one of the "cool gay kids" you have to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and do certain things. This does give our community a stereotype in which to follow. Good or bad, we have a face for homosexuality. I'll admit, I fall right into nearly all of those... and continue to conform, or, um, not conform in some cases... which in itself is conforming anyway. -shrugs- I think sometimes we all do things to gain social acceptance, even to a certain degree. If you didn't, stop speaking English. You're conforming to get along in our society. See what I did there?

              I think sometimes we just get swept up in our rally to make our lives as queer individuals more accepted that we forget the logic behind it. We immediately turn on those that have a differing opinion to current issues like gay marriage or, in this case, disagree with a campaign aimed at helping gay teens feel better about themselves. Perhaps we should look at what they're really saying before jumping to conclusions. Chances are good they're not disagreeing with the cause, they're disagreeing with the implementation.

              /end opinion
                #1243    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (4:02 PM). Edited October 24th, 2011 by Shining Raichu.
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              Ugh OK I was so busy with birthday stuff yesterday that I never made it to LGBT Club, despite being online most of the day lol. So, ALLOW ME TO CATCH UP.

              Would you ever have sex with your significant other's sibling in order to produce a child with genetic material from both sides of the family?

              Uh... no. I... don't think I could. I've never heard of this being a thing. On Will & Grace once, they wanted to have a baby together and rather than waiting a whole month for IVF treatment they decided to have sex... which in the end they couldn't go through with because they were best friends. Honestly, I don't think I would ever be able to have sex with a woman, even if it were cold and mechanical for the purpose of reproduction. Also, I hate kids and don't want them lol.


              Now, onto that video. Is it wrong that I actively can't stand that guy? He bugged the living hell out of me for the entire eleven minutes. In that entire time, there was only one argument that I could agree with - and that was the "It Gets Better" campaign's implication that the solution lies in the future and you should therefore just wait it out and do nothing. That actually struck me as something I hadn't thought of before. Other than that, I think he was just an angry little man who's given into cynicism and is using that to give unnecessary opposition to a campaign that is designed to stop people from killing themselves. I think the fact that he made that video, when you consider that potentially suicidal teens may be exposed to it, is absolutely terrible and is an example of exercising freedom of speech for the sake of it.
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                #1244    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (7:51 PM).
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              Can't watch any videos right now. ;.;

              Would you ever have sex with your significant other's sibling in order to produce a child with genetic material from both sides of the family?

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Shining Raichu
              Honestly, I don't think I would ever be able to have sex with a woman, even if it were cold and mechanical for the purpose of reproduction. Also, I hate kids and don't want them lol.
              Pretty much that, except flip it a bit. I don't think I could ever have sex with a guy. XD; It sounds completely unappealing. Sex in general doesn't interest me much with my whole semi-asexual thing going on, but especially not with a guy. On the really really rare chance that I would fall for a guy, there's an even rarer chance that I'd have sex with him. That would have to be a lot of love, and even then it might not happen. Sooooo, even if it were for the sake of having a child, I doubt I could do it. I'd rather donate eggs and have someone carry a child for me, because I have no want for that in any way. >__>
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                #1245    
              Old October 24th, 2011 (9:04 PM).
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              What do you guys think of this It Doesn't Get Better video?
              Hmm, I can't argue with a lot of what he's saying, but his main argument was how you have to fit into a big queer group for it to get better. Really, that's no different than trying to fit in to normal heterosexual society, so I don't see why you should bother, or really care if you can't fit in.
                #1246    
              Old October 25th, 2011 (9:29 AM).
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              I think the fact that he made that video, when you consider that potentially suicidal teens may be exposed to it, is absolutely terrible and is an example of exercising freedom of speech for the sake of it.
              I have to disagree with this a little. The guy is really cynical and that kind of attitude isn't helpful if you are a potentially suicidal teen watching the video, but he's saying things that need to be said and addressed, even if it's just him saying something so that everyone else can disagree with it or prove him wrong. If you get past his attitude he's for making things better for queer people and his overall message is just "Are we really going about things the right way?"

              I really should try watching some of the related videos to see how they approach the idea, but I don't want to get all cynical, too. D;
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                #1247    
              Old October 25th, 2011 (11:10 AM).
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              Posts: 2,742
              Video response to the It Doesn't Get Better video (uncynical, safe for Scarf viewing):



              I didn't watch the whole thing but I rather like this response from what I've seen. You just need to go out there and enjoy the world. You can't expect it to automagically get better. Sometimes happiness takes an effort.
              __________________

              #077: Ponyta - The Fire Horse Pokémon
              Fire ~ Field eggs
              3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

              Its hooves are 10 times harder
              than diamonds. It can trample
              anything completely flat in moments.

              Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
              Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
              Locations: Pokémon Mansion

              Cry

              Other names:

              jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
              de: Ponita
              fr: Ponyta
              cn: 小火馬 (Xiǎohuǒmǎ)


                #1248    
              Old October 25th, 2011 (11:53 AM).
              Esper's Avatar
              Esper Esper is offline
              • Silver Tier
               
              Join Date: Jun 2009
              Location: California
              Posts: 10,621
              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Ineffable~ View Post
              Video response to the It Doesn't Get Better video (uncynical, safe for Scarf viewing):



              I didn't watch the whole thing but I rather like this response from what I've seen. You just need to go out there and enjoy the world. You can't expect it to automagically get better. Sometimes happiness takes an effort.
              This was exactly what I wanted to see: a realistic, positive and hopeful attitude.

              Also, automagically is my new favorite word.

              So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
              __________________
                #1249    
              Old October 25th, 2011 (12:09 PM).
              Ineffable~'s Avatar
              Ineffable~ Ineffable~ is offline
              DAT SNARKITUDE
              • Crystal Tier
               
              Join Date: Aug 2008
              Location: Any ol' place really
              Age: 23
              Gender: Female
              Nature: Naive
              Posts: 2,742
              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
              This was exactly what I wanted to see: a realistic, positive and hopeful attitude.

              Also, automagically is my new favorite word.
              Glad you like it. Both on the video, and the word. :3

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Scarf View Post
              So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
              This was before I came out to anyone (even myself) but once when my sister and I were talking, we realised we both didn't want kids at all. My sister however said "crap, well you at least have to since you're the only one that can carry on the name."
              Somehow, though, I feel she might change her mind someday. I'm not sure. I don't even know her opinion on it at the moment since that was a long time ago. She doesn't like her boyfriend's last name, so . . . who knows, maybe if she marries him (IF, just a hypothetical lol) she could actually pass on the name using hyphens. xD


              Umm, slightly more about me. >.> My parents always wanted a boy, and they never said exactly why but I'm assuming part of it is because of the whole passing on the name thing.
              . . . I don't really want to keep my old last name because it's a little too conspicuous, but even so, I'm not having kids. Anyway I don't see what would be the huge problem with this for most people considering you could adopt if you wanted to (correct me if I'm wrong, I think most states allow that now). I just think wanting to keep your legacy going is a little pointless in the first place, but that's just me.

              To simplify it, I have indeed felt pressure from my parents, and it sucks because I don't want to upset them, but there are a lot of reasons I can't do it.
              __________________

              #077: Ponyta - The Fire Horse Pokémon
              Fire ~ Field eggs
              3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

              Its hooves are 10 times harder
              than diamonds. It can trample
              anything completely flat in moments.

              Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
              Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
              Locations: Pokémon Mansion

              Cry

              Other names:

              jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
              de: Ponita
              fr: Ponyta
              cn: 小火馬 (Xiǎohuǒmǎ)


                #1250    
              Old October 25th, 2011 (10:43 PM).
              Reddit's Avatar
              Reddit Reddit is offline
              Indubitably.
                 
                Join Date: Oct 2011
                Location: Ohio
                Age: 24
                Gender: Male
                Nature: Quirky
                Posts: 17
                HEY GUYS, I'M POLITE_ALL_CAPS_GUY AND I'D LIKE TO JOIN, YO!

                Anyways, I am a bit hyper right now. I am the Landorus AKA the jerk who disappeared and left the club un-updated. THANKS ANDREW FOR STEALING THE CLUB! seriously

                So..hi! :3 I don't really have much to say about the current topic besides the guy saying it doesn't get better is..very pessimistic.
                 

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