The Rainbow Connection [LGBTS Club] Page 50

Started by Shining Raichu May 22nd, 2011 5:52 AM
  • 247948 views
  • 4469 replies

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
What do you guys think of this It Doesn't Get Better video?
Hmm, I can't argue with a lot of what he's saying, but his main argument was how you have to fit into a big queer group for it to get better. Really, that's no different than trying to fit in to normal heterosexual society, so I don't see why you should bother, or really care if you can't fit in.

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
I think the fact that he made that video, when you consider that potentially suicidal teens may be exposed to it, is absolutely terrible and is an example of exercising freedom of speech for the sake of it.
I have to disagree with this a little. The guy is really cynical and that kind of attitude isn't helpful if you are a potentially suicidal teen watching the video, but he's saying things that need to be said and addressed, even if it's just him saying something so that everyone else can disagree with it or prove him wrong. If you get past his attitude he's for making things better for queer people and his overall message is just "Are we really going about things the right way?"

I really should try watching some of the related videos to see how they approach the idea, but I don't want to get all cynical, too. D;

Ineffable~

DAT SNARKITUDE

Age 29
Female
Any ol' place really
Seen September 2nd, 2012
Posted December 27th, 2011
2,738 posts
14.8 Years
Video response to the It Doesn't Get Better video (uncynical, safe for Scarf viewing):



I didn't watch the whole thing but I rather like this response from what I've seen. You just need to go out there and enjoy the world. You can't expect it to automagically get better. Sometimes happiness takes an effort.

#077: Ponyta - The Fire Horse Pokémon
Fire ~ Field eggs
3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

Its hooves are 10 times harder
than diamonds. It can trample
anything completely flat in moments.

Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
Locations: Pokémon Mansion

Cry

Other names:

jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
de: Ponita
fr: Ponyta
cn: 小火馬 (Xiǎohuǒmǎ)


Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
Video response to the It Doesn't Get Better video (uncynical, safe for Scarf viewing):



I didn't watch the whole thing but I rather like this response from what I've seen. You just need to go out there and enjoy the world. You can't expect it to automagically get better. Sometimes happiness takes an effort.
This was exactly what I wanted to see: a realistic, positive and hopeful attitude.

Also, automagically is my new favorite word.

So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?

Ineffable~

DAT SNARKITUDE

Age 29
Female
Any ol' place really
Seen September 2nd, 2012
Posted December 27th, 2011
2,738 posts
14.8 Years
This was exactly what I wanted to see: a realistic, positive and hopeful attitude.

Also, automagically is my new favorite word.
Glad you like it. Both on the video, and the word. :3

So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
This was before I came out to anyone (even myself) but once when my sister and I were talking, we realised we both didn't want kids at all. My sister however said "crap, well you at least have to since you're the only one that can carry on the name."
Somehow, though, I feel she might change her mind someday. I'm not sure. I don't even know her opinion on it at the moment since that was a long time ago. She doesn't like her boyfriend's last name, so . . . who knows, maybe if she marries him (IF, just a hypothetical lol) she could actually pass on the name using hyphens. xD


Umm, slightly more about me. >.> My parents always wanted a boy, and they never said exactly why but I'm assuming part of it is because of the whole passing on the name thing.
. . . I don't really want to keep my old last name because it's a little too conspicuous, but even so, I'm not having kids. Anyway I don't see what would be the huge problem with this for most people considering you could adopt if you wanted to (correct me if I'm wrong, I think most states allow that now). I just think wanting to keep your legacy going is a little pointless in the first place, but that's just me.

To simplify it, I have indeed felt pressure from my parents, and it sucks because I don't want to upset them, but there are a lot of reasons I can't do it.

#077: Ponyta - The Fire Horse Pokémon
Fire ~ Field eggs
3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

Its hooves are 10 times harder
than diamonds. It can trample
anything completely flat in moments.

Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
Locations: Pokémon Mansion

Cry

Other names:

jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
de: Ponita
fr: Ponyta
cn: 小火馬 (Xiǎohuǒmǎ)


Age 30
Male
Ohio
Seen November 13th, 2011
Posted November 8th, 2011
17 posts
11.6 Years
HEY GUYS, I'M POLITE_ALL_CAPS_GUY AND I'D LIKE TO JOIN, YO!

Anyways, I am a bit hyper right now. I am the Landorus AKA the jerk who disappeared and left the club un-updated. THANKS ANDREW FOR STEALING THE CLUB! seriously

So..hi! :3 I don't really have much to say about the current topic besides the guy saying it doesn't get better is..very pessimistic.

Ineffable~

DAT SNARKITUDE

Age 29
Female
Any ol' place really
Seen September 2nd, 2012
Posted December 27th, 2011
2,738 posts
14.8 Years
HEY GUYS, I'M POLITE_ALL_CAPS_GUY AND I'D LIKE TO JOIN, YO!

Anyways, I am a bit hyper right now. I am the Landorus AKA the jerk who disappeared and left the club un-updated. THANKS ANDREW FOR STEALING THE CLUB! seriously

So..hi! :3 I don't really have much to say about the current topic besides the guy saying it doesn't get better is..very pessimistic.
D: If you are the Landorus then why are you on a different account?

CONFUSED.

#077: Ponyta - The Fire Horse Pokémon
Fire ~ Field eggs
3'03" ~ 66.1lbs ~ 50/50

Its hooves are 10 times harder
than diamonds. It can trample
anything completely flat in moments.

Abilities: Run Away or Flash Fire or Flame Body
Moves: Growl, Flame Wheel, Stomp, Agility
Locations: Pokémon Mansion

Cry

Other names:

jp: ポニータ (Ponyta)
de: Ponita
fr: Ponyta
cn: 小火馬 (Xiǎohuǒmǎ)


FreakyLocz14

Conservative Patriot

Male
Seen August 29th, 2018
Posted August 28th, 2018
3,497 posts
14 Years
I have another question:

Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?

I thought about this dude to what happened to a friend of mine. Her boyfriend cheated on her with guy. When confronted, he admitted that his desires for men are new and stem from dissatisfaction with the performance of women.

Taemin

MOVE

he / they
USA
Seen January 6th, 2023
Posted December 9th, 2022
11,196 posts
17.8 Years
I have another question:

Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
Well, I have definitely heard of people suddenly choosing to turn gay because of bad experiences with the other sex. I.E. a girl friend of mine wants to start dating girls because she's fed up with guys, but up until that point she'd been flawlessly straight. Though, I don't understand how someone can switch so suddenly later on in their life.. xD; seems like they maybe had to be bisexual the entire time, but might've not realized.


I can't leave this spot that's empty without you
It's an area that no one else can fill
The night's never gonna be the same.

SHINee - Area

paired to Palamon

Age 30
Male
Ohio
Seen November 13th, 2011
Posted November 8th, 2011
17 posts
11.6 Years

D: If you are the Landorus then why are you on a different account?

CONFUSED.
Because I hated that name. ^-^; I changed the signature on that account to say the name of this account.


Well, I have definitely heard of people suddenly choosing to turn gay because of bad experiences with the other sex. I.E. a girl friend of mine wants to start dating girls because she's fed up with guys, but up until that point she'd been flawlessly straight. Though, I don't understand how someone can switch so suddenly later on in their life.. xD; seems like they maybe had to be bisexual the entire time, but might've not realized.
I agree with the bisexual statement.

SO TODAY THIS GUY AT WORK MADE ME VERY ANGRY.

This guy - first of all he thinks I am gay but isn't sure - anyways, he was ranting about how the gay community at my college is too big and that it's nasty, then he was saying how it was "sick" that they repealed DADT

I was thinking.."ARE YOU TRYING TO INSULT ME? DO YOU WANT TO GET FIRED YOU BIGOTED JERK-OFF?" But I just smiled and walked away because I am being considered for a management job.

Melody

Banned

Female
Cuddling those close to me
Seen March 4th, 2018
Posted March 2nd, 2018
6,459 posts
18.6 Years
Drew, you said she was "Flawlessly Straight", are you sure that's what you mean? It's perfectly possible she was either hiding her other impulses or were as you mentioned, unaware of them.

Yeah...Usually you don't just flip. Generally I do happen to believe as Drew said, you might have been bi or gay in the first place but never accepted or realized that usually. Secondly, So what if you do choose it? It's not wrong. It kind of upsets me to see that LGBTs who don't like who they are take out their anger on those who happen to be flexible enough to change, assuming the person who does change is actually in the middle of the Kinsey scale and not on one extreme end or the other.

Bisexuals are surprisingly more common than you think, but it's true that some lean one way or another more heavily than others do. Not to mention that Bisexuals do tend to be able to "Blend in" better than some others do...and it is quite possible to be Bisexual and not know it, because it's so easy to fall in the mindset of "Oh, I'm just curious or over-imaginative, not actually craving the same sex." So yeah, if someone is bi then it's possible to place the "straw that broke the camel's back" and cause them to lean and/or trend the other direction. It kind of disappoints me to see that some people call themselves bi or just straight and then change their orientation based on whatever gender their mate happens to be because they want to seem less "promiscuous" when that's not the case at all.

But I do believe that your place on the Kinsey scale is NOT fixed at birth. Your place on the Kinsey scale is not set in stone, it's likely to slide around up to 2 points in either direction as you learn, mature and grow...based upon how you experience life. If you grow up in a homo-unfriendly environment you might shy away from increasing your score and if you grew up in a homo-friendly environment, you might not care at all and let your score increase. So naturally I dislike it when ANYONE, LGBT or not says that it is set in stone at birth. What we become as we grow into adults is just as much influenced by our upbringing, and surroundings as it is by our genetics, family history and much more.

Given a few years, anyone can change who they are as a person pretty well if that is what they choose to do. So I don't disbelieve that someone younger can do so faster than that, nor do I believe sexual orientation is the exception to the rule.

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
Hello.

I thought about this dude to what happened to a friend of mine. Her boyfriend cheated on her with guy. When confronted, he admitted that his desires for men are new and stem from dissatisfaction with the performance of women.
I've never had a relationship with anyone, and wasn't attracted to guys in the slightest until a year ago or so.

There's really no reason, I just changed.

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
-cries- y u people always so active I'm at work or sleeping ;;

I have to disagree with this a little. The guy is really cynical and that kind of attitude isn't helpful if you are a potentially suicidal teen watching the video, but he's saying things that need to be said and addressed, even if it's just him saying something so that everyone else can disagree with it or prove him wrong. If you get past his attitude he's for making things better for queer people and his overall message is just "Are we really going about things the right way?"

I really should try watching some of the related videos to see how they approach the idea, but I don't want to get all cynical, too. D;
I think the cynicism really overrode anything he was trying to say. There were things said that need to be addressed, particularly regarding the in-fighting within the LGBT community itself, however the message I took from the video was not "Are we really going about things the right way?" it was "It doesn't get better" which is simply not true.

What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
I haven't run into much trouble with that yet. My mother desperately wants grandchildren someday though, because... well, I don't really know. I guess that's just what mothers want. I don't think it's really about the name as such, though, she just wants grandchildren. Unfortunately, since I'm gay and my sister hates children nearly as much as I do, she won't be getting any lol. I think that will cause some problems down the line.

As far as the "family name" issue is concerned, I honestly don't understand why this is an issue for anybody. Why does it matter? It's just a name. It means nothing. In 100 years time, if there's a descendant of yours running around with your last name, it won't change the fact that you're dead and that nobody remembers who you are. It's more prudent to make an impact on people while you're alive than hoping that your name flowing down a line of descendants will be enough to carry your memory.

Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?

I thought about this dude to what happened to a friend of mine. Her boyfriend cheated on her with guy. When confronted, he admitted that his desires for men are new and stem from dissatisfaction with the performance of women.
No, I don't think thing people "become LGBT" later in life. There's any number of explanations for this situation, but the most likely is that your friend's boyfriend was lying to cover the fact that he's always been gay. It's kind of genius really, it's along the lines of saying "I'm not gay, I'm just experimenting".

HEY GUYS, I'M POLITE_ALL_CAPS_GUY AND I'D LIKE TO JOIN, YO!

Anyways, I am a bit hyper right now. I am the Landorus AKA the jerk who disappeared and left the club un-updated. THANKS ANDREW FOR STEALING THE CLUB! seriously
Haha welcome back, Landorus! You're quite welcome, but MINE NAO. ALL MINE. MUAHAHAHA
Moderator of General Chat

-Jared-

Certified Responsible Adult

Age 31
Male
Northern California
Seen June 16th, 2022
Posted June 14th, 2014
1,817 posts
14.2 Years
So, a question I have relates somewhat to the question brought up earlier regarding having children via your love's siblings. What are people's experiences with family and the whole "carrying on the family" name or anything really about your family's expectations of your having children of your own?
Gah, there is a lot to respond to. 0_o I think I'll just answer this though, lol.

For me, there kida is some pressure to carry on the name. :\ My mom, who otherwise is super supporting of my sexuality, says the ONE reason she wishes I wasn't gay was because she wants me to have biological children so that she can have, in her words, "Little Jareds". >__> And while I appreciate the sentiment, it just makes me feel bad, because while I do want children, I would rather adopt than go with in vitro or something. :\
Seen February 18th, 2017
Posted February 21st, 2012
176 posts
13.1 Years
Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
No. This is something I stay quite adamant about. I believe people can realize or come to terms with being LGBT, but I can not possibly believe that someone can "become" or "turn" LGBT later in life.

deoxys121

White Kyurem Cometh

Age 31
Male
Flat Rock, MI, United States
Seen September 25th, 2016
Posted May 27th, 2012
1,254 posts
12.4 Years
No, people don't "turn" gay later in life. If they suddenly, later in life, just say "OMG, I'm gay," then that means they've been gay all their life; it's just taken up until that point for them to realize it or come to terms with it. For people who have relationships with the opposite sex, sometimes even get married and have kids (i.e. my aunt), before coming out, it's because they were in denial or too scared to come out, so they forced themselves to conform to the norm. Now, my aunt has been with her girlfriend for 2 years.
Age 30
Male
Ohio
Seen November 13th, 2011
Posted November 8th, 2011
17 posts
11.6 Years
Aww, no one cares about my problem.
Again, I have to say, Hello.
To be fair, you were probably what you are now your entire life and you just didn't realize it or admit it to yourself.
Haha welcome back, Landorus! You're quite welcome, but MINE NAO. ALL MINE. MUAHAHAHA

Belinda

Age 28
Female
Seen March 4th, 2018
Posted November 13th, 2017
2,211 posts
14.8 Years
I have another question:

Do you think that some people become LGBT later in life, rather than being born that way?
Honestly, I don't believe people turn gay later in life. But that's just my opinion.

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
To be fair, you were probably what you are now your entire life and you just didn't realize it or admit it to yourself.
But I was actually quite homophobic, and just the thought of doing anything with a guy was extremely disgusting. I was 100% straight until I was exposed to Gays for a long period of time, (which I wasn't for the first time until a couple years ago) as well as the Japanese media's portrayal of Gays. They often make homosexual relationships out to be perfect, pure, gentle things, while they make heterosexual relationships out to be all about sex.

I think after a couple years of that, especially because that sort of relationship appeals to me a lot more, it started to influence me, essentially changing my sexuality.

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
Well, I have definitely heard of people suddenly choosing to turn gay because of bad experiences with the other sex. I.E. a girl friend of mine wants to start dating girls because she's fed up with guys, but up until that point she'd been flawlessly straight. Though, I don't understand how someone can switch so suddenly later on in their life.. xD; seems like they maybe had to be bisexual the entire time, but might've not realized.
Your "flawlessly straight" caught my attention. Kinda awesome description.

So what if you do choose it?
Seconded. But I feel I know why some wouldn't want to believe this.

If you were "born this way" that's your own experience and it would be kind of natural to assume that others have gone through a similar experience, especially since most people you talk to, regardless of their sexuality, will tell you that they have always been how they are.

More than that though, I think it's seen as a dangerous idea by many a queer person because it's seen to give fuel to the anti-gay crowd. They (the anti-gay groups) will say that if it's a choice then people should not choose it and that choosing it makes you a pervert or whatever else they would call you.

There's an underlying assumption to the "it's not a choice" stance which, sort of, kind of, plays into the anti-gay crowd's views. When you say "I didn't have a choice!" you sound defensive, like what you are is something bad, which is unfortunate, but nothing you should be punished for.

If more people took a "So what if I did choose?" approach - regardless of whether they did or not - then that would send a stronger message. It would say: "What this is isn't something bad so it doesn't matter how someone got to be how they are." It would be more inclusive, too, because it would make it easier for someone who was curious or unsure of their sexuality to accept themselves and have others accept them if it turned out they were only just curious. And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity. To be perfectly honest, the whole "it's not a choice" thing seems very homosexual-specific and maybe not the best line for other people who are queer, but not gay.

Of course this is ~just my opinion~ so feel free to argue with me.

SO TODAY THIS GUY AT WORK MADE ME VERY ANGRY.

This guy - first of all he thinks I am gay but isn't sure - anyways, he was ranting about how the gay community at my college is too big and that it's nasty, then he was saying how it was "sick" that they repealed DADT

I was thinking.."ARE YOU TRYING TO INSULT ME? DO YOU WANT TO GET FIRED YOU BIGOTED JERK-OFF?" But I just smiled and walked away because I am being considered for a management job.
You did the right thing, probably. Of course if he does it again you ought to say something reasonable and level-headed to show him what a jerk he is without having to do anything jerk-y yourself.

-Jared-

Certified Responsible Adult

Age 31
Male
Northern California
Seen June 16th, 2022
Posted June 14th, 2014
1,817 posts
14.2 Years

Seconded. But I feel I know why some wouldn't want to believe this.

If you were "born this way" that's your own experience and it would be kind of natural to assume that others have gone through a similar experience, especially since most people you talk to, regardless of their sexuality, will tell you that they have always been how they are.

More than that though, I think it's seen as a dangerous idea by many a queer person because it's seen to give fuel to the anti-gay crowd. They (the anti-gay groups) will say that if it's a choice then people should not choose it and that choosing it makes you a pervert or whatever else they would call you.

There's an underlying assumption to the "it's not a choice" stance which, sort of, kind of, plays into the anti-gay crowd's views. When you say "I didn't have a choice!" you sound defensive, like what you are is something bad, which is unfortunate, but nothing you should be punished for.

If more people took a "So what if I did choose?" approach - regardless of whether they did or not - then that would send a stronger message. It would say: "What this is isn't something bad so it doesn't matter how someone got to be how they are." It would be more inclusive, too, because it would make it easier for someone who was curious or unsure of their sexuality to accept themselves and have others accept them if it turned out they were only just curious. And for the trans or genderqueer or just different people it would make it easier for us, too, since there are things some of us do have to make choices about regarding our identity. To be perfectly honest, the whole "it's not a choice" thing seems very homosexual-specific and maybe not the best line for other people who are queer, but not gay.

Of course this is ~just my opinion~ so feel free to argue with me.
I like what you are saying, but I don't feel it applies to me, lol. For some of us, like you said, being gay, or bisexual, or anything, truly is something that has been a part of us our whole life, or at least ever since we were aware of sex. So you're line about "What if it is a choice" feels weird to me.

BUT

You are right in that there are people who choose to be who they are, and the whole attitude of "It isn't our choice!" could alienate some people who might just be looking for acceptance. So a change in attitude could probably do a world of good, do you think?

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018


I like what you are saying, but I don't feel it applies to me, lol. For some of us, like you said, being gay, or bisexual, or anything, truly is something that has been a part of us our whole life, or at least ever since we were aware of sex. So you're line about "What if it is a choice" feels weird to me.

BUT

You are right in that there are people who choose to be who they are, and the whole attitude of "It isn't our choice!" could alienate some people who might just be looking for acceptance. So a change in attitude could probably do a world of good, do you think?
Personally, I think it would be a little more accepting. Like it would make it easier to accept people who like to cross-dress some of the time, people who might otherwise feel alienated from the heterosexual crowd and not exactly a part of the queer crowd.

And the "What if I did choose?" line is more of something I would use with someone if I really wanted to make a point. I wouldn't expect everyone to use it. It's really no different than saying "There's nothing wrong with being gay" or whatever is more comfortable for you.

Kura

twitter.com/puccarts

Age 33
Female
London, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted August 24th, 2021
10,993 posts
18.7 Years
I don't know if I can answer this.. personally I think it's a bit of both.. like.. you're both born with it and you also develop a liking to a certain type of sex or type of person as you grow. I guess it's the nature vs. nurture thing.. but instead of it being vs.. I think it's nature AND nurture.
Like I know sometimes you can't help who you love, and sometimes for others it's the fact that they've learned that they can look past physical features and grow more attached to the emotional aspect of people and that sort of pansexual nature has more of an influence than mere penis and vagina.

.. Uh.. am I making sense?
~Yuugiou Fan~
~Kamen Rider Fan~
♡(´・ω・`)LOVE! ☆
Age 30
Male
Ohio
Seen November 13th, 2011
Posted November 8th, 2011
17 posts
11.6 Years
But I was actually quite homophobic, and just the thought of doing anything with a guy was extremely disgusting. I was 100% straight until I was exposed to Gays for a long period of time, (which I wasn't for the first time until a couple years ago) as well as the Japanese media's portrayal of Gays. They often make homosexual relationships out to be perfect, pure, gentle things, while they make heterosexual relationships out to be all about sex.

I think after a couple years of that, especially because that sort of relationship appeals to me a lot more, it started to influence me, essentially changing my sexuality.
That's a textbook case of being in denial of your sexuality, it makes no sense - and there is a strong credible argument that it's against the very nature of humans - for someone who is homophobic and believes they are straight to go "JK I LIKE MEN".

Although, due to the lack of knowledge around the cause of sexuality, it's possible that it could have been anything such as a sudden hormonal switch. Or there could be an even deeper psychological cause for the realization/switch. WHO KNOWS