That was a mistake...

Started by Sammi August 1st, 2011 3:18 PM
  • 981 views
  • 25 replies

Sammi

Age 33
she/her
The States
Seen 5 Days Ago
Posted November 8th, 2021
14,085 posts
18.3 Years
Do you constantly dwell on your past mistakes, or do you shrug them off and move forward with your life?

Uh, I'm afraid I'm not doing the question justice. :s I hope it makes sense.

Well, if I make a mistake, even the smallest of ones, I just can't. move. on. It's something that replays constantly in my head. "Oh no, I'm such a failure, I'm worthless, I should've done this, blah blah blah..." I end up wishing I could just forget about it and just keep it mind for when a situation like that arises, so I do things right that time. Instead I'm always embarrassed about it.

How about you guys?

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I can really only think of one thing that I've done that really bothers me when I think about it a lot, but I'm not really sure if it should even be categorized as a mistake. I just know my life would be a lot different, but really only one aspect of it would be better overall while the rest would suffer so I know it's not something I should beat myself up over so much.

Overall though I usually only dwell on past mistakes for a short time after they've happened. Something else always comes up that prompts me to get over it or forget.

Shining Raichu

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Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
I mainly dwell on mistakes I've made with other people. Like, even a conversation that I've made awkward by saying the wrong thing... it will still be playing in my head years later, long after everything is forgiven and most likely forgotten by the other people. It really gets to me, I have to keep rationalising until it doesn't seem like such a big deal to me, and even then it'll pop back into my mind at some later point.
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Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
Yes, I do dwell on mistakes, especially big ones that screwed me over big time. Those still bug me now. Just feels like if I had done or said something different, things would be better off, but eh. I can't change it now. You just learn from your mistakes, that's all. If you don't make any, what's there to learn from?
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Age 27
Female
Seen August 25th, 2013
Posted June 30th, 2013
331 posts
12.7 Years
Saying that I dwell on my mistakes would be an understatement. If I say or do anything stupid I'll totally dwell on it for a few days. Plus, when I see whoever I said it to I'll feel soooo totally awkward in front of them. But then when I'm in a bad mood and think about how much of a failure I am, then I'll bring it up in my mind again and dwell on it (with other stuff too!) again for a while.

I never forget it either, like I still remember stupid things I said years ago, and even though I'm sure nobody else remembers, I feel like they do and that they must still look down on me for saying it.

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Age 27
Female
Spain
Seen February 10th, 2023
Posted December 7th, 2017
2,222 posts
15.2 Years
Yes, I dwell on my past mistakes way more than I should.
Even the littlest thing, I always think about it for days afterwards, and when it involves a person I feel really akward talking to them but dont want to bring up what happened.

The worst part is, I make a lot of mistakes so normally I'm always dwelling on something.
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Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
I dwell on those mistakes I make where I knew better at the time, but still made the mistake anyway. If it's an accident then, well, it's an accident and I'm not going to beat myself up too much over it, especially when I have other mistakes to do that with. I keep a few of these close to my heart and visit them every now and then when I'm in a bad mood. Sadly, I'm not the best at learning from all my mistakes. I mean, I know what I should do differently and mentally I tell myself what not to do, but half the time I can't help myself and I make the same mistake again.

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Male
scotland
Seen September 28th, 2018
Posted March 16th, 2018
8,874 posts
12.1 Years
If I can set a mistake right then I'll go to a hell of a lot of effort to do so, even if it's just a minor little thing since I'm a very firm believer of learning from my mistakes and all that, although I don't think I do it enough. It all depends on how critical I'm feeling on the day, and whether or not I should be considering something a mistake or not in the first place. Most things can be viewed as either a mistake or a success depending on how you look at it imo.

And as for ones that can't be changed? The way I see it, there is no reason whatsoever to dwell on such mistakes. It doesn't do anyone any good really; just drags you down and all that. I mean sure, feel bad for it and think about it for a while since otherwise you'll never learn and never better yourself since you're just ignoring it but dwelling on them and over-analysing really doesn't offer any benefits.

I'm too guilty of moving on straight away, personally. I'm great and just shrugging off mistakes then and there and never revisiting them and that's an issue since it doesn't even set in that I made a mistake in the first place so I don't change whatever I was doing wrong. But I still thing it's better than dwelling on them. ^^
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Cherrim

Age 34
she / her
Toronto
Seen 20 Hours Ago
Posted 20 Hours Ago
33,052 posts
20.4 Years
For the most part, I do my best to shove things in my past well behind me and move forward, but I catch myself dwelling on things sometimes and dreading the final outcome of a decision if it hasn't happened yet. I do it most often when I'm alone to my thoughts, like just before bed or when I'm riding the bus or something. :/ I try to do something distracting in these situations because of that.

And since I'm always trying to distract myself from these thoughts, sometimes I don't try hard enough to learn from my mistakes since I work too hard at ignoring them. ._.;


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Age 97
Shimoda City
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted January 25th, 2022
9,705 posts
15.5 Years
In certain cases, I indeed do tend to dwell on past mistakes I made and how I could have avoided them. I know it's not healthy, but my mind just won't let me forget and move on...

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Age 34
Male
Texas
Seen September 17th, 2011
Posted August 15th, 2011
20 posts
11.9 Years
I always dwell on my mistakes in the past. It eats me up inside,lol.
I also dwell on awkward moments that I've had with other people.
Yeah I Feel The Same Way wish Their Were Somethings I Could Change Or Take bavk but Hey Thats Life.
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Her

Age 29
Seen 5 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
I'm a dweller. I often just lie around and think back to my mistakes, never forgiving myself, never forgetting what I did. It's a bad habit, but it's one that I can't control. Often someone says something that reminds me of something I've done, and like whenever Raven Symone had a vision on Thats So Raven, I zone out and think about that moment.

Nick

Seen 4 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
I dwell on a mistake until I rectify it. Mistakes bother me a great deal, and those that hold regrets bother me more-so. I know mistakes are things that happens to everyone, but if I hold a regret with the mistake, then things are going to be very hard for me to look past and forget. Once I forget it, I hardly ever think about it again. My memory isn't the best, you see. But I can sit there and think about my mistakes, what I should and shouldn't have done that I did or didn't already do, and think of possible what if scenarios for days without being able to lift myself up from those. I think it's a reflection process of mine that I have to go through in order to move past - if I come to the conclusion that I can't fix the mistake I made. Right now there's only two mistakes I've made that I'm dwelling over. One of which I can do something about, and am going to see my best towards fixing.