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The Prize

Started by Geometric-sama December 27th, 2004 4:17 AM
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  • 13 replies

Geometric-sama

The Manly Man of Steel

Age 59
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen April 26th, 2018
Posted June 9th, 2014
11,441 posts
16.6 Years
The Prize
by Jedi_Amara

Author's Note: I was bored, so I decided to try to prove that a one-shot doesn't have to be 1400 words. :P @ that evil ex-pair again XD. If this turns out really weird, blame it on the fact that I was listening to Australian punk music while writing it. Something With Numbers is pure brilliance. Oh yeah, and the fact that I wrote it in half an hour while waiting for my little brother to log on.

Whirling, swishing, turning, wishing; dryad, nymph, spirit, wisp; everything is here tonight, and it all suddenly feels right...

The dancer pirouettes, skirt swirling around her, a form shrouded in grace. There is an audience, but she does not see it; her mind blocks out all ambient sound. For her, there is only the music, and herself.

Here an arabesque, there a twirl; no longer does she dance to the music - instead, the music plays her...

Here she turns, closes her eyes; she leans into the stage, allows the music to take her, lets it swallow her. Soft harmonies intertwine, the sounds of woodwind mixing with strings. She feels, more than hears, what is next to come.

A sudden discord sounds. The dancer is not jolted; instead, a faint smile touches her lips, and she moves quickly into a grand jet, almost floating from one side to the other. Perhaps she does float - it's hard to tell.

No one knows what passes through the mind of a dancer at the height of a leap - a prayer? Elation? Does the dancer reach out through her mind and lift herself from the ground, using only the power of thought? This dancer could - but there is no telltale blue glow; no way to know.

And now it winds down; she still turns, but there is a difference now. No loss of concentration, but a lessening of pressure, maybe. A reduction of something intangible, impalpable, imaginary.

She slows, and finally stops, lifting her head to look out - not at the audience, but at something beyond it. There is a sense of power, of something too great to envisage. The feeling passes as quickly as it came.

The final curtsy; she turns gently and walks - no, glides - into the wings, to meet the other who stands there, watching, entranced.

The master of ceremonies stands at the lectern.
"And that was Entrant No. 17, Ashara's Kirlia, in the 14th Annual Pokmon Talent Quest," he says, but she does not hear him, still lost in the emotions of the dance.

The softest whisper cuts the unrecognised applause, dancing on the breeze: let's go. The dancer follows the other out; it's no longer the prize that matters, but the dance.


"One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
Albert Einstein

"What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
Benjamin Franklin

"Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
Bertrand Russell

avatar and signature by FoxHound

ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.

Lily

◕ ‿‿ ◕ double rainbow.

Female
New Joisey
Seen February 26th, 2017
Posted June 26th, 2011
3,334 posts
15.6 Years
This was excellent. oO; (of course one shots don't have to be 1400 all the time, just as it carries its meaning and poitn across, I think it's fine)

Your descriptions were beautiful. :O~ I love how you portrayed the Kirlia/dancer's movements so gracefully. I just...really liked reading the flow of the whole story. Very in depth and just lovely. You should write more Pokemon one shots! I would love to read them. X3

Keep it up! I'm just stunned at the descriptions; lovely. ^^;

( ‿‿ ) PM me for a contract.

Mari

♠ [child] p r o d i g y

Age 27
In a super~duper happy world with freakishly hyper people~! <33
Seen July 12th, 2011
Posted January 16th, 2007
2,268 posts
16.2 Years
Waii! This ish so kawaii! <3
~The descriptions are flawless; I had a clear picture of Kirlia's dance, it was so enchanting! =3 It's amazing how much you can do in a short one-shot.

Lileh-chan's right; you should make more one-shorts. ~All of them are lovely, I'm sure.

natsu_DRAGONIL

Geometric-sama

The Manly Man of Steel

Age 59
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen April 26th, 2018
Posted June 9th, 2014
11,441 posts
16.6 Years
AAAARGH! I was supposed to get BAD reviews! Since it's a short one-shot and it's boring and I wrote it in half an hour. o_O


"One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
Albert Einstein

"What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
Benjamin Franklin

"Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
Bertrand Russell

avatar and signature by FoxHound

ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.

Strawberry Delcatty

Neko daisuki-na no nya!

Age 34
California
Seen August 20th, 2006
Posted July 17th, 2006
752 posts
15.3 Years
AAAARGH! I was supposed to get BAD reviews!
Now how the heck can you get bad reviews with stuff like THAT?! Even if it is short (felt like a Di Gi Charat episode in terms of length), hating stuff like this is like trying to type with the computer off.

The Kirlia's dance... beautiful. I don't know how to say it in any other way.

TO THE MODS: Make this girl's story fan fic of the week if you haven't done it already!


My stuff
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Dragonfree

Teh Spwriter. :3

Age 30
Female
Iceland
Seen February 9th, 2020
Posted November 28th, 2012
1,293 posts
15.9 Years
Hmm... it's very nicely written and worded, but somehow it doesn't really appeal to me...

*scans head for a possible reason* Oh, yeah... nobody died and no signs of violence, crime or any dark themes. It's just not my type. Although I do agree with you that one-shots don't need to be 1400 words; I've seen one that was six lines, and it was great.

Still... *envies from a corner* WHY does everybody who writes one-shots except me get a ton of replies? :/ My one-shots get like two replies...
~Butterfree/Dragonfree/antialiasis of The Cave of Dragonflies

Still not going to sprite for your fangame. Sorry, but I don't really sprite or give out permission for people to use my fake Pokémon anymore.

Geometric-sama

The Manly Man of Steel

Age 59
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen April 26th, 2018
Posted June 9th, 2014
11,441 posts
16.6 Years
o_O Please tell me how I managed to get fanfic of the week. I only wrote this one because my younger brother dared me to write something really bad and post it on PC.


"One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
Albert Einstein

"What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
Benjamin Franklin

"Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
Bertrand Russell

avatar and signature by FoxHound

ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.

Strawberry Delcatty

Neko daisuki-na no nya!

Age 34
California
Seen August 20th, 2006
Posted July 17th, 2006
752 posts
15.3 Years
o_O Please tell me how I managed to get fanfic of the week. I only wrote this one because my younger brother dared me to write something really bad and post it on PC.
Uh...well...

It was so well-written. That, and maybe to make your brother sick to his stomach? :P


My stuff
My LiveJournal | Pokemon Fan Universe (Friend's forums)

Geometric-sama

The Manly Man of Steel

Age 59
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen April 26th, 2018
Posted June 9th, 2014
11,441 posts
16.6 Years
*giggles* Maybe my brother just has bad taste in writing then XD.


"One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
Albert Einstein

"What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
Benjamin Franklin

"Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
Bertrand Russell

avatar and signature by FoxHound

ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.

Geometric-sama

The Manly Man of Steel

Age 59
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen April 26th, 2018
Posted June 9th, 2014
11,441 posts
16.6 Years
Last time I heard that was when I was seven XD. My fourth-grade teacher told me that :P


"One reason why mathematics enjoys special esteem, above all other sciences, is that its laws are absolutely certain and indisputable, while those of other sciences are to some extent debatable and in constant danger of being overthrown by newly discovered facts."
Albert Einstein

"What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative than mathematics."
Benjamin Franklin

"Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty – a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show."
Bertrand Russell

avatar and signature by FoxHound

ANNOY ME AT YOUR PERIL. I am becoming increasingly tired of the unmanly elitism and closed-mindedness of certain members who shall remain unnamed.
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