LAst Letter

Started by flame_chi December 28th, 2004 9:15 PM
  • 590 views
  • 1 replies
Age 35
Livin somewhere... I dont know...
Seen March 7th, 2014
Posted September 10th, 2007
1,433 posts
18.8 Years
i had to write a Social Studies project
about bein a soldier in the war
writtin to a love one
so i wrote a poem in mine
theres my poem


LAst Letter

There i was sittin with the boys
writtin this letter to you
All around us are loud noises
like bombs n guns going everywhere
we wait til it's our time to fight
i dont know if this ill live
i dont know if this would be my last letter
but i know one thing
i would always love you
know matter what
now its it to go
when the time is right
ill be waitin for you





“Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image”
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity

Age 34
Pickering, On
Seen August 8th, 2018
Posted May 17th, 2014
2,485 posts
19.7 Years
You have the right idea and everything, but grammer seems to be an issue here. There is just a better feeling of it if you use the proper words, insted of shortening it such as words like "n", also it seems that punctionation could be needed to tell the person reading the poem when to stop, and when to begin.

But maybe thats what you were going for, which I can understand if you're trying to get that "soldier" persective. Great job though.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

After 7 years, Xbox Live is Still Amazing

·!¦[·Latest pieces of Writing·]¦!·