My Poems

Started by Dignity January 9th, 2005 5:23 PM
  • 665 views
  • 4 replies
Seen September 28th, 2009
Posted September 28th, 2009
2,830 posts
18.4 Years
These are a few poems that I wrote... I don't really like any of my writing, but I like to write, so hey I'm giving it a shot! ^^

Nostalgia
Not having a dire need to expire
Staring at the fire while
thinking back when you were a child
blissfully unaware
of the cruel word you were about to
encounter
is what peace is made of

Relaxing in a field so far away
from the rest of the world
so much unlike today
unaware of your surroundings
not hearing the pounding
of your heart
is what happiness is made of

Put all the little pieces of the puzzle together
see what you get
because you cant forget
this is what nostalgia is made of


Good Advice
Lack of inspiration
makes me write these words
soon you will hear
something unheard

Never tell a story
Never tell a tale
Never tell a lie
unless you are ready to cry

Again and again they sigh
weve heard it a million times
not to tell a lie!

Take heed and mark my words
it is good advice
to get along well in life

Well, that's it for now... Hope you like them!
i love you. </3

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity

Age 34
Pickering, On
Seen August 8th, 2018
Posted May 17th, 2014
2,485 posts
19.7 Years
Yes they are both beautifully written (when did I start saying "beautifully" XD), both of them leave a nice feel of satisfaction.

I shouldn't be one to talk about length because I often write short poems, but I just felt that on the topic of "Nostalgia" and "Good Advice", it should have been a bit longer when dealing with really what Nostalgia and Good Advice really are. But great job nonetheless ^^.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

After 7 years, Xbox Live is Still Amazing

·!¦[·Latest pieces of Writing·]¦!·
Seen March 30th, 2005
Posted March 11th, 2005
1,912 posts
18.6 Years
I do like Nostalgia, your poem describes how nostalgia works and what it ruly means. I think I'd love it if you used ',' and '.' in your poems. Otherwise it's like one huge run-on sentence. XD But that's just a minor tactic.

Your second poem was short but sweet. It shows how many times we hear to never ever tell a lie, but even that sentence alone is a lie right in front of you. XD For, being humans, we are all bound to lie, that's just how life goes. ^^

I really liked both of your poems, Julia, very nice job! ^^

~Kelsey
*)
..*) .*)
(. (.` ♥ Kelsey

Now officially moving to a new name, with Steve's OK, I shall now be known as Mori Seirei. ^.~
Age 30
Daydreaming of what tommorow shall bring...
Seen February 25th, 2005
Posted February 19th, 2005
5,471 posts
19.2 Years
I totally agree with what everyone so far has said in this thread. ^^ They are lovely poems, and well written at that. You just need to work on your puncuation, as Kelsey said. If you dont add your "," and "."'s then the whole piece seems like it will go on forever. Especially if someone is reading it aloud. They will run out of breath before they reach the end. ^_~

As stated, nice work. ^____________^

~Karli
Let the two of us become one
Holding on to the coward waves
We continue with our journey
The space between our hug
An endless dream
Cutting through the rainbow
Heading for the promised light
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