Online Dating?

Started by Kura July 1st, 2012 9:28 AM
  • 1684 views
  • 30 replies

Kura

twitter.com/puccarts

Age 33
Female
London, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted August 24th, 2021
10,993 posts
18.7 Years
Long distance relationships can be both taxing and rewarding. The internet nowadays makes it both easier to stay in contact with loved ones, and meet new people you probably wouldn't have met otherwise!

Have you ever done online dating before? (Was it spontaneous over a forum or site, or did you do it through a specific dating website?)

If not, would you ever consider doing online dating? Or would you ever consider a long distance internet relationship?

Why/ Why not?

Optional: Do you think it works/ (and if you want to get a bit personal) Did it work for you?
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TRIFORCE89

Guide of Darkness

Age 33
Male
Temple of Light
Seen November 25th, 2017
Posted October 21st, 2016
8,122 posts
19.1 Years
I wouldn't say I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't prefer it. Sure, you can see them through webcam and what not. But it just isn't the same as actually being in their presence
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted February 5th, 2017
6,779 posts
15.5 Years
Have you ever done online dating before?
Yep, with a person I met on this site actually! I'm still open to it, sure, but the idea just seems a tad depressing.

Optional: Do you think it works/ (and if you want to get a bit personal) Did it work for you?
I think it works plenty well. I'd even go as far as to say that more online relationships work out than offline, statistically. But some people just can't stand being thousands of miles apart, and it's totally understandable.

and lol nah, didn't work for me, but it wasn't because of the distance thing or because we had our differences. I knew it wasn't gonna work out though.

Alice

(>^.(>0.0)>

Age 31
Female
Oregon
Seen April 30th, 2015
Posted April 29th, 2015
3,077 posts
14.2 Years
I really don't like the idea of online dating, especially finding people on sites specifically for dating. Maybe if I met them through gaming or a forum that isn't about dating(like PC), I would consider it, but I would really prefer to do things in person. That said, I have asked someone out online before, but he said no, so I never actually have dated online.

Sheep

She/Her
Australia
Seen 13 Hours Ago
Posted 15 Hours Ago
39,266 posts
16.6 Years
Online relationships are definitely tough, though they're as rewarding as they are hard if both parties can deal with the distance until they're able to be together. I've only dated twice before and both of those relationships started online. The first one ended because the two of us were really immature as 16-17 year olds and couldn't handle the distance (it was a bad relationship anyway). :P My current one is going great and we just hit the big one year mark a few days ago. :3 Personally, I say it works best for people 18+, maybe a bit older.

I honestly don't think online dating is good for people if they're not really that patient. It can get very depressing, especially for younger people who depend on their parents, since there's a big chance you won't even be able to visit your partner for years.

Shiny Celebi

Seen August 25th, 2015
Posted October 17th, 2013
2,377 posts
12 Years
Yes, online dating can work and can lead to successful relationships.It is a bit difficult for people because they cant see each other physically and are far away from each other. I feel as long as they are committed and maintain a lot of contact with each other than it can work. Long Distance isnt ideal indefinately, there needs to be some kind of end date in sight to close the distance if the relationship is serious and committed. I say if you can deal with the distance and are committed to the other person, great.

Sammi

Age 33
she/her
The States
Seen 5 Days Ago
Posted November 8th, 2021
14,085 posts
18.3 Years
I've never dated online before. If it were the right person, I'd consider it. I'd rather just date offline, though, at least for my first relationship. I don't even have friends irl, so I'd rather have a relationship in person right now.

I think they can work if both parties are willing. My BFF met his fiance online and they're still doing great from what I understand. :D

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Otherworld9)

Bard of Rage

Age 26
Male
honk
Seen January 5th, 2014
Posted November 13th, 2012
1,950 posts
12.4 Years
Hehehe...coming from me, I think they're fine depending on how both of you view it. I mean, I've been on both horrifying and awful ones......but I've actually been on heavenly ones where I'm still friends with them, which surprises me.

Unfortunately, a few are now my enemies, but oh well, life runs that way for me.

In all honesty, I just thinks it depends on how far and how willing they are. Sure, I have a few friends who were on the opposite sides of the world and it worked out fine.....but I've made mistakes here and there, and basically it was like a rollercoaster for me. Like Cirno stated, it would take years before I would get to see that special someone, if they aren't in the same state or country as me.
I think you need the right personality for it. If you're someone who needs constant attention, really clingy, worries a lot, and has trust issues then it would be difficult. I don't even really think it's that hard to begin with. It can be sad/lonely at times, but I think if it's a good relationship than the good will outweigh the bad anyways.

I always notice a lot of people say they would never get involved in one and I know I used to say the same thing, but it's really not something that you plan, it just happens. AND AS CLICHE AS IT SOUNDS I think if it is meant to be then you will eventually get to be with that person.

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
I've had an online boyfriend before, but just the once. It was definitely a great experience when we were happy, but I think I'd be hesitant to do it again because it really isn't the same as being in each other's presence and there are pitfalls in an online relationship (particularly if you're in different timezones) that can eventually eat at it.

So needless to say it didn't work out between us, but I did love the guy and still do (we're still friends now) so I think overall even though the romantic part didn't pan out, I'd call it a success!

But yeah, just because it didn't work out for us doesn't mean it can't work out for anybody else. There are many cases of online relationships that have resulted in people meeting up and marriage and kids and the whole shabang.
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Jellicent♀

Age 30
Male
Seen July 11th, 2022
Posted March 8th, 2021
2,614 posts
11.3 Years
It didn't work for me. I need affection. Like, simple as that. The emotional aspect is most important, but a physical contact of some sort makes it for me. The luxury of being able to see him when I'm able is what makes it comforting to me. With online dating I didn't get that, and probably won't ever do it past the one time I did it.

droomph

weeb

Age 26
Male
nowhere spectacular
Seen February 1st, 2017
Posted January 3rd, 2017
4,282 posts
11.7 Years
Given that I'm not gonna date anytime soon (it's just forever alone, not morals) I can't tell you personally what it's like, but I can hypothesize that because I'm so much better of a person online that once you meet me irl yer' gonna break up with me soon.
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Livewire

Male
Sunnyshore City
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted August 2nd, 2019
14,091 posts
13.8 Years
^ Nick has a point.

It's not for everyone, but they can work provide that you graduate from the laptop and meet face to face at some point. Humans need other human interaction, shockingly enough. But a relationship founded upon nothing but a glowing screen isn't genuine.

Margot

some things are that simple

they/he
Seen April 16th, 2022
Posted February 25th, 2019
3,662 posts
17.3 Years
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But it can work, imo. I've seen long distance relationships firsthand go really well and really, really, just not well at all :/ Both parties need to be 100% committed and it takes so, so, much trust and communication. If you're not willing to be trusting or work to keep in contact, it's gonna be a bumpy road. I like to see it go well though :) Quite a few of my friends have met their SO online and it's refreshing to see it go well.

Drummershuff

Ultimate Blargification

Age 31
Murbet, Breidaves.
Seen March 13th, 2014
Posted July 2nd, 2012
10,391 posts
17.5 Years
Kelsey, Nick and Sammi: Thank you! It is still going well, over 5 years later. If both parties are willing to make it work, I see no reason why an online relationship couldn't work out for everyone involved. It perhaps takes more commitment than a regular relationship at first, but if you're willing to work hard, I think it's just as good as meeting in person.

paired with sammi

Alex

what will it be next?

Seen December 30th, 2022
Posted December 26th, 2022
6,407 posts
16.4 Years
If the two people are committed to making it work, there's no reason for it not to. I am open to the idea but I also find it kind of depressing, and would have a hard time coping with the distance. I've had crushes on people whom I've met online, and even those didn't end very well.

I'm just going to stick to real life dating.

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
It never works, trust me I know.

/thread
Ashley and Matthew beg to differ.
Kelsey, Nick and Sammi: Thank you! It is still going well, over 5 years later. If both parties are willing to make it work, I see no reason why an online relationship couldn't work out for everyone involved. It perhaps takes more commitment than a regular relationship at first, but if you're willing to work hard, I think it's just as good as meeting in person.

Ya'll beat me to it; was going to say these two!

People who say 'it can't work' over long distance are wrong, because it can. It is just your personal preference that says it can't work.

I have tried it and I would try it again, but only with someone who I completely click with. Online relationships are harder, you don't have that physical connection and it can be hard for some people.
I am not really like that, sure I would miss them in person, but I like space and for the start of the relationship, that is perfect.

For it to work, you have to be very clear from the beginning how you both feel, don't let feelings be compressed or it will be ten times worse, because you won't have that person next to you.

That is just how I feel.

Hybrid Trainer

Age 28
Him/Them
«UK»
Seen April 12th, 2023
Posted January 27th, 2022
2,096 posts
14.5 Years
I think you need the right personality for it. If you're someone who needs constant attention, really clingy, worries a lot, and has trust issues then it would be difficult. I don't even really think it's that hard to begin with. It can be sad/lonely at times, but I think if it's a good relationship than the good will outweigh the bad anyways.
This is pretty much my opinion. If both people have the personality for it then it'll have the same chances of working out as an offline relationship would. If not then it's probably going to go downhill pretty fast.
I've been in two online relationships though, both being spontaneous. I don't think I'd ever try dating websites as from what I've seen in the gay community they're mostly used for hooking up and one night stands and such which isn't really my thing. But anyway neither of them worked out. They were for different reasons but either way I don't think I had the right personality for it anyway.

alisaie

they/them
Seen March 14th, 2023
Posted February 3rd, 2022
13,598 posts
14.8 Years
Not sure if this counts because they met in person first, but my aunt and uncle-in-law were basically long distance. My Aunt lives in Colorado, and my uncle-in-law lives in Florida. They did meet each other and have human interaction a lot (uncle went to live with her for... three months? and my aunt went with his family to Australia) and thus in the end they married back in February. My aunt stills lives in Colorado and my uncle-in-law still lives in Florida but he goes and sees her every week (has this special plane thing with the airport or something idk.)

So... while it didn't work for me it can work. You just have to have the right personality for it, and as mentioned by Livewire, they do meet in person from time to time. Strictly Online/long-distance isn't going to work so well than if you meet them from time to time. But that's also from personal experience.

Loki

x

Seen March 23rd, 2022
Posted June 14th, 2020
6,822 posts
17.8 Years
In the past, I was adamantly against personally being involved in an online relationship, mostly because I believed that for me, it would never work out. Now, I would certainly consider being in a relationship with someone I've never met IRL, but I would make it very clear to them that it would not be serious to me until we met IRL.

And at that point, a whole slew of other problems crop up, because I seem to have an irrational dislike of being touched by anyone who sees me as more than a friend-- even people I like more than a friend LOL. Not exactly a catalyst for a healthy relationship, if I do say so myself. So perhaps I wouldn't be so much willing to be in a relationship at all right now, so much as I would be willing to agree that we are very, very close friends, and that if I weren't incapable of being in a relationship we would be in one? OTL

Mr Cat Dog

Frasier says it best

Age 32
Male
London, UK
Seen September 29th, 2017
Posted July 12th, 2017
11,344 posts
19.1 Years
On a completely serious and non-facetious note, what makes a purely online relationship (i.e. never actually meeting each other in the flesh over at any time during the time together) an actual relationship as opposed to a friendship? I can understand relationships that start offline then move online for one reason or another, and I can also understand relationships that start online before eventually gravitating into the online sphere... but ones that start online and remain online do confuse me on a conceptual level. What is it that makes them a relationship?

So, the above probably summarises my feelings towards online dating. For me, I guess I'd need some form of physical contact (not necessarily sex; more just the intimacy that comes from being with someone) in order to classify it as a relationship.

Captain Fabio

Age 33
London, UK
Seen November 4th, 2021
Posted November 2nd, 2021
12,193 posts
17.1 Years
On a completely serious and non-facetious note, what makes a purely online relationship (i.e. never actually meeting each other in the flesh over at any time during the time together) an actual relationship as opposed to a friendship? I can understand relationships that start offline then move online for one reason or another, and I can also understand relationships that start online before eventually gravitating into the online sphere... but ones that start online and remain online do confuse me on a conceptual level. What is it that makes them a relationship?

So, the above probably summarises my feelings towards online dating. For me, I guess I'd need some form of physical contact (not necessarily sex; more just the intimacy that comes from being with someone) in order to classify it as a relationship.

Someone's opinion will be different from mine, but I don't think it is classed as a friendship, but I don't think it is a relationship either, if you never meet them, never see them in real life.

I need to see them and be, physically, with them when I can, or it just gets too difficult. If I was with someone first, then they moved, I can deal with that fine, but I need to see them; can't never see them in real life.

Age 33
Female
Lake St. Louis, MO
Seen May 28th, 2013
Posted May 28th, 2013
86 posts
12.7 Years
I've been in 2 online relationships before but they weren't really for me. :\ I need to have a physical relationship. One did live close, but I don't drive and that was when I was getting back with my fiancee (well ex obviously at the time) so I broke it off with that girl. I'm not against it by any means, it's just not for me. :V

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