Unapproachable?

Started by Aquacorde July 9th, 2012 5:18 PM
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  • 25 replies

Aquacorde

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Age 29
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Ankh-Morpork
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Posted 3 Days Ago
12,277 posts
18.9 Years
Do you think you come across as approachable or unapproachable? Does it depend on how you feel that day or week or month? Why do you think that? What do others say or do to make you feel either way?

Are there people that claim to be approachable, but you feel aren't? Or the other way around? What do they do that makes them seem that way? Specific examples not required haha. I just want to know how people perceive themselves and others.
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Oryx

CoquettishCat

Age 30
Female
Seen January 30th, 2015
Posted December 27th, 2014
13,184 posts
12.2 Years
I don't think I'm very approachable, but I would like to be approached XD
This.

I like being approached but I've been told I have a very negative face when I have no emotion, and even at my most outgoing I'm more quiet than everyone else around me so people think I don't like them. :(


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alisaie

they/them
Seen March 14th, 2023
Posted February 3rd, 2022
13,598 posts
14.8 Years
I'm quiet and I don't talk very much to people I just meet unless we kick off it very well so I guess I'm kind of both? People usually don't approach me very often when I'm just sitting there silently. I guess I just give off the impression that I'm busy and I don't want to be bothered.

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
~And don't you for a second get to thinkin' you're unapproachable~
I hate that song but just popped into my head randomly when I saw the thread title haha.

Anyway I'd like to think I'm quite approachable. I hope people feel like they can approach me because I certainly wouldn't want people to find me scary or anything lol. But I guess this is one of those questions that others can answer about you better than you can answer about yourself :P
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Sydian

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Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
If anyone irl thinks I'm unapproachable, they'd have to be blind lol. Small cute people that make jokes about everything are definitely not intimidating. :P I prefer to be approached anyway because I have a really hard time talking to people, but it's a bit easier for me when I'm spoken to first. As for online, I think at times I might come off unapproachable, but it's the same as irl really. Although sometimes, I don't feel like talking. But usually when that happens I turn off my VMs anyway so it's obvious I don't wanna talk. Every time other than that though, I don't bite. :3
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Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
I have defensive body language. It says: "I'm only here physically. Emotionally I'm miles away." It's not always how I feel, but I can't always makes myself visibly approachable because that would be way too tiring. I'm just naturally comfortable in a way that makes me seem like I'm not interested in the people around me. I try to offset this by talking, listening, and doing what I can to engage in what others are doing, but the results are a mixed bag.

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Age 31
Male
Northern California
Seen June 16th, 2022
Posted June 14th, 2014
1,817 posts
14.2 Years
I think I might be a bit unapproachable on accident. Like, when people talk to me offline, sometimes I catch myself acting aloof and like I'm not paying attention to the other person, but in reality I am trying to conjure up an appropriate response and I am failing miserably at it, which in turn comes across as me ignoring them. :\ When I manage to think of something good to say quickly, then I seem more approachable in general. Alas, quick thinking isn't my strong suit. >__<

Kura

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Age 33
Female
London, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted August 24th, 2021
10,993 posts
18.7 Years
I find that.. online I actually tend to be very unapproachable.. but IRL I am very approachable ._. Go figure.
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Her

Age 29
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I don't think I'm unapproachable per say, but I think I give off the impression that I am rather *****y. Is that word censored? I don't know. But y'all get what I'm saying, right? I wohyld never describe myself as intimidating, because I am far from that, but I guess I have an attitude of thinking everyone is below me, when I'm really not like that. Sure, I make no secret of judging other people, but I don't actually think I'm better than them. I don't know, I'm just basing this off the fact that no one ever approaches me first, it's always me that has to go talk to people.
Age 25
Female
TN
Seen December 25th, 2016
Posted December 24th, 2016
290 posts
11 Years
I've been told at various points in my life that I'm unapproachable for being too anti-social, or for being too outgoing. I'm thinking there's some kind of perfect middle ground I'm supposed to be in, but then I'd probably get told I'm unapproachable because I'm so neutral.

Then again, I've also had people tell me how wonderfully charming I am. No. Really. So I'm not entirely sure. I'm pretty shy, so I absolutely love when others approach me first. I just hope they aren't put off by something I do. x3

Morkula

Get in the Game

Age 34
Male
Virginia
Seen February 6th, 2020
Posted March 4th, 2018
7,294 posts
19.3 Years
I try to be approachable, but a lot of people online find me intimidating and/or unapproachable on PC. Of course, there are some types of people I don't want to find me approachable, but for the most part I'm open to being introduced to new people.

Offline, I'm a bit more approachable, but also more reserved. So while I'm open to people coming up and talking to me, don't expect me to randomly just come up to you and strike up a conversation.

Elite Overlord LeSabre™

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Age 97
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Posted January 25th, 2022
9,705 posts
15.5 Years
Well, if people can get past my initial appearance (rash due to allergies) they'll find that I can be very approachable and ready to start conversation. They just have to have the initiative to approach me. As for me approaching others, I'm more willing to do it when I'm in a comfortable environment (i.e., at an event or social where I know some of the attendees) than say, just randomly walking somewhere. It puts me more at ease being somewhere where others have my back xD

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NightOfRemorse

my anxieties have anxieties

California
Seen August 24th, 2013
Posted August 24th, 2013
808 posts
12.3 Years
I'm very unapproachable. I think it's because I look angry all the time (so I've been told) and I don't... really smile when I don't need to be. I'm always told "You should smile more!" but I would feel like a creeper walking around by myself looking like this :D for no apparent reason. Lol. Also, when I talk to strangers I sound kind of monotone so I guess I give off the impression that I hate them, gah.
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Hybrid Trainer

Age 28
Him/Them
«UK»
Seen April 12th, 2023
Posted January 27th, 2022
2,096 posts
14.5 Years
IRL people find me very unapproachable because of how shy I am. I pretty much never speak to anyone else and I keep myself to myself at all times so it isn't surprising that people wouldn't want to approach me. Funnily enough though from the few times that someone has had to approach me for whatever reason they've always said that I was a lot more pleasant to talk to than they thought.
I guess the same goes for online. I'm a lot less shy online, even if I still appear to be so, and I tend to warm to people a lot more. But I still reckon there are a few people who think I'm unapproachable because of the reserved way I act.
I actually quite like having people approach me online. I get to help people and that makes me feel better about myself.
Male
Seen July 19th, 2012
Posted July 17th, 2012
48 posts
10.9 Years
I'm in my own little world most of the time when I'm not in a conversation with someone, so most people don't really talk to me unless I talk to them first or they really need to ask me something. I think because I look like I'm Lala land most of the time, some people think I'm unapproachable, but it really depends on the other person, because I'd rather approach someone who seems like they're kind of out there and a bit ditzy than some huge buff guy with a ton of tattoos, so I don't really know.