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Pokémon On The Road To Be The Best (Part 1)

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Old July 22nd, 2012 (7:25 AM). Edited July 22nd, 2012 by NixChill.
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NixChill NixChill is offline
Who Ya Callin' Pinhead?
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Yo Mama's Closet
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Nature: Naive
Posts: 65
this is my first fanfiction, so im going to make it the best i can

Youngster: Vaporeon, use water pulse!

The World Championship Finals was getting underway. It was a tournement that happens every 5 years. The match was heating up. The trainer was facing off against the mightest trainer in the universe, who won every tournement there was. He was on a winning streak that was never broken. The mysterious trainer had already knocked out all 5 of the young trainer's pokemon with Steelix. The only pokemon the youngster had was Vaporeon. The mysterious trainer didn't commanded Steelix to do anything as the water pulse was hurling to it. The crowd was full of suspense. The water pulse hit Steelix, but didn't do anything.

Mysterious Trainer: Steelix, finish it with flash cannon

The flash cannon flinged toward Vaporeon. Then the whole battlefield exploded. The smoke clouds cleared out, showing Vaporeon knock out on the ground.

Announcer: I can't belive it! The trainer has kept his steak alive for another 5 years!

The mysterious trainer holded a cup that read "The Universe's #1 Trainer" The crowd roared and cheered as the mysteryious trainer walked out of the battlefield.
In the crowd, there was a young boy. His name was Sammy. His dream was to break the mysterious trainer's streak. Sammy turned to his father.

Sammy: Dad, do you think i will beat this mysterious trainer someday?
Sammy's Father: You know what son, i think you will. Someday, you'll be the universe's #1 trainer.
Sammy: Thanks, dad!

Sammy hugs his father with love as the fireworks began shooting into the night sky.
Time flew by. Day after day, for the next 5 years, Sammy train himself and his pokemon for the next tournement. Sammy grew older and his pokemon grew stronger. Then, it was 1 day before the tournement. Sammy was now 13 years old. His team of pokemon was Charmelon, Heracross, Pidgeot, Scizor, Lapras and Togitic

Sammy: Alright team, lets practice are moves again, ok?

Sammy's pokemon cheered as the future ahead of them awaits

To Be Continued......
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Old August 15th, 2012 (8:38 AM).
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Altix Altix is offline
Son of a Snivy and a Zoroark
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Cda' Idaho
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Nature: Docile
Posts: 71
So far I like the story. I think there should be some more background on Sammy though. It was rather short as well. Numbers under 20 should be written out for example instead of "sammy is 13" put "sammy is thirteen" good luck with the story!
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