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Old September 24th, 2012 (2:52 PM).
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Shadow Lugia-XD001 Shadow Lugia-XD001 is offline
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    Disclaimer: Yes this is a sequel to Pokemon XD. It probably sucks but hey! Might as well try it out.

    Rated PG 13 for violence and crude humor.

    Let's go!

    Prologue
    Spoiler:

    Welcome! To the great land of Orre, where everyone lives in peace! Despite the island's lovely vibe, Orre is actually secretly dark. Crime rates are high and the underground Pokemon battles have become terrible.

    Ten years ago, a large group of people, named Team Snagem, invented the Snag Machine, a device used to steal Pokemon from their trainers during battle. A young man stole the device and used it against Cipher, another organization that closed the door to Pokemon's hearts. These special Pokemon were called Shadow Pokemon, or the ultimate fighting machines

    Cipher plans to take over Orre with the Shadow Pokemon were shattered by the young man who stole the Snag Machine, and all the Shadow Pokemon were purified. But Cipher wasn't done yet.

    Cipher's admin that weren't arrested put their heads together to create the ultimate Shadow Pokemon, XD001. XD001 was a Shadow Lugia that was thought to be unpurifable. A young boy proved them wrong.

    He fought Cipher's second attack five years after the first. He purified XD001 and set him free. Soon, Orre became peaceful and quiet. Well besides Pyrite Town, which is the Pokemon World's crime center.

    But, yet again, Cipher still isn't finished.
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      #2    
    Old September 26th, 2012 (2:02 PM).
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    psyanic psyanic is offline
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      This 'prologue' reads more like the games' summaries, which isn't very creative at all. There's no imaginative incentive here, making the story a bit boring considering most people would know the plots of Colosseum/XD. The only thing I can really gather from this prologue is that Cipher is on the move, but other than that, there aren't any characters, no events, no anything, to be completely honest. When you write a prologue you want to include something so that it shows its significance. If it's just a synopsis, what's the point, especially if they're summaries of games and not your story? Besides, prologues typically show a significant event that is pivotal in your story. The relation to your story is completely up to you, but there should be something going on.
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      Old September 29th, 2012 (1:56 PM).
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      Shadow Lugia-XD001 Shadow Lugia-XD001 is offline
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        My prolouge is for backstory mostly. Nothing new.
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        Old September 29th, 2012 (2:12 PM).
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        psyanic psyanic is offline
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          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Shadow Lugia-XD001 View Post
          My prolouge is for backstory mostly. Nothing new.
          Yeah, you look like you missed the whole point of my post. Most readers will be somewhat familiar with the plots of Colo/XD, so they aren't needed nor are they entirely relevant to the story other than that it's the same evil team. That's what I gathered from the prologue, anyway.
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