Adoption.

Started by Nick October 11th, 2012 4:00 PM
  • 1710 views
  • 22 replies

Nick

Seen 4 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
Hypothetically, you are about to have a child and have decided that things just aren't working out for you and aren't stable enough to raise a child. You have decided to put him or her up for adoption. Would you like to be part of your child's life, in any way, shape, or form? Whether it be directly involved, getting updates by the mail from his or her foster parents, and so on and so forth.

LividZephyr

Oxymoron, not a moron, thanks

Male
Wisconsin, USA
Seen September 21st, 2017
Posted May 10th, 2015
445 posts
10.6 Years
I'd definitely want updates from the foster family. I'd want to know how my kid was progressing. I would also want to see them from time to time, and possibly take custody if circumstances forced me to later in life.

I don't foresee myself having kids though, so I don't know why I am replying to this >_>

60

#isthenumbersign

Age 29
Female
Cloud Nine
Seen January 28th, 2013
Posted November 26th, 2012
266 posts
10.6 Years
I'd be very interested in my child's life, but to what extent that'd I'd be involved would be up to the foster parents. If they feel that it's awkward that I'm around then I will definitely give them the space they want. I wouldn't want to be completely shut out though.

Hannah

beep bop boop

Age 22
Female
Seen November 16th, 2021
Posted October 9th, 2017
1,150 posts
10.6 Years
I'm eleven years old, and I already have a dream family. I want to have a boy kid, with long blonde hair. I'll name him Thor. I'll adopt another kid, with long black hair, and I'll name him Loki. So yeah, I'm thinking of going into a foster home twenty years from now.

beep bop boop

Esper

California
Seen June 30th, 2018
Posted June 30th, 2018
I dunno. That idea kinda annoys me. Like, you've got someone who is thinking they can't handle being a parent and then still wants to be part of their kid's life? I say you can't have your cake and eat it, too. But I know I'm not ever going to be in the position of wanting a kid (crazy!) and then at the last minute deciding I'm not cut out to handle that.

Kura

twitter.com/puccarts

Age 33
Female
London, UK (orig. Toronto, Canada)
Seen August 30th, 2021
Posted August 24th, 2021
10,993 posts
18.7 Years
I'm not sure but I think I would like that, and to be able to contact the child when I'm ready. It would be a shame but if the kid would be better off in someone else's care for whatever reason, then I guess that route would be the one to take.
~Yuugiou Fan~
~Kamen Rider Fan~
♡(´・ω・`)LOVE! ☆

mikey

Age 30
Male
Seen 8 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
6,229 posts
14.1 Years
If I were in that situation, I would like to be involved in some way. I mean, even if its through email, I would like to know what kind of life my child is having, which would hopefully be better than how mine was if I had to give him or her away.

Moderator
of Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl
Discord Moderator

Cherrim

Age 34
she / her
Toronto
Seen 19 Hours Ago
Posted 19 Hours Ago
33,052 posts
20.4 Years
I'm not sure. Knowing me, I'd probably be too ashamed to be present myself to them because I failed to be a proper parent in the first place but if they wanted some form of contact, I hope I wouldn't be adverse to it.


paired with professor plum.

Her

Age 29
Seen 4 Hours Ago
Posted 4 Days Ago
I dunno. That idea kinda annoys me. Like, you've got someone who is thinking they can't handle being a parent and then still wants to be part of their kid's life? I say you can't have your cake and eat it, too.
I agree with this. Once you've given your child up for adoption, I think that should be it for your contact with the child in question. No takebacks, as the kids say.

Mr Cat Dog

Frasier says it best

Age 32
Male
London, UK
Seen September 29th, 2017
Posted July 12th, 2017
11,344 posts
19.1 Years
If I'm genuinely not able to take care of a kid that I've spawned for whatever reason, then I don't think I should be a part of that kid's life until I'm ready to accept responsibility and explain why I gave him/her up in the first place. So there probably wouldn't be any contact for at least a couple of years after the kid was born. After that... it would honestly depend on how my state of mind was, coupled with if the kid knows that they're adopted and all sorts of other factors.

In summary, like the Nancy Myers film: it's complicated.

Squirrel

Age 28
Male
Seen 1 Week Ago
Posted July 10th, 2021
9,551 posts
11.7 Years
I'm not sure. Knowing me, I'd probably be too ashamed to be present myself to them because I failed to be a proper parent in the first place but if they wanted some form of contact, I hope I wouldn't be adverse to it.
Obviously it's hard to know until the situation a actually happens, but I agree with what Erica said. If I'd had the child and then gave it up for whatever reason, I'd feel terrible about it and I'd hate to show my face to that child. I'd rather it had a new father that it learnt to love as a real dad rather than having to deal with me having cast it away. If they did ever want to get in contact once they're mature enough to handle it then I probably would agree since of course I'd want to know how the child is doing and I'd probably ask for updates from the parents, but I don't think the underlying feeling of shame would be easy to lift.

Keiran

[b]Rock Solid[/b]

Age 31
New Jersey
Seen March 14th, 2022
Posted July 25th, 2018
2,441 posts
12.1 Years
I wouldn't ask for anything from the family other than if the child wants to make contact with me that they have a way to do so.
Mod of Trade Corner| Pair | Trainer Information

When kings upon the main have clung to pride
And held themselves as masters of the sea
I've held them down beneath the crushing tide
Till they have learned that no one masters me

Livewire

Male
Sunnyshore City
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted August 2nd, 2019
14,091 posts
13.8 Years
I think the best thing to do is kind of what Cat Dog said, let some time pass before you try and rear your head back into their life, if you even can. I think you should still be able to reach them if need be, hopefully to reconcile in the future.

Sammi

Age 33
she/her
The States
Seen 5 Days Ago
Posted November 8th, 2021
14,085 posts
18.3 Years
I'd leave it up to the adoptive parents. If they don't want me, that's fine. If they do, that's fine too. They're the ones taking care of the child; they can do whatever they wish when it comes to me. It'd probably be awkward to give up the child for adoption and see them again though. ._.;

I'll make a proper signature when Pokecommunity gets a proper slogan

Bounsweet

Fruit Pokémon

Seen September 17th, 2018
Posted October 11th, 2017
2,102 posts
15.6 Years
I wouldn't give the child up unless it was absolutely mandatory, and there was no way I could support a child.

There are way too many kids in foster care right now; I'm not saying foster parents are bad parents, but more often than not kids in foster care go through a lot of different families.

If it was the case, I would want bi-monthly updates.

antemortem

rest after tomorrow

Age 24
he/they
Los Angeles
Seen June 15th, 2022
Posted June 14th, 2022
7,467 posts
11.3 Years
If I'm not making enough money to support just myself and my significant other, then I'm not going to make my child go through that. Perhaps I could visit him or her in the future, but they would not have a permanent home under my care.
TURN ON THE BRIGHT LIGHTS

Broken_Arrow

Paper Plane

Female
The Land of Amun
Seen August 28th, 2021
Posted January 5th, 2019
1,209 posts
11.7 Years
well,it's pretty weird talking about a child who's mine lol but i'll give my opinion anyway

HELL NO! i'll never leave my child to began with..i'd work harder i'll do my best i won't care what others think but i'll make sure to keep him\her save and WITH ME!!..i mean how would i leave a part of me with some other people i won't know how they actually deal with him\her,how his\her life goes? what he\she eats and what he\she loves and hates..No no No way....if i get a child i know that i'll be responsible for him\her no doubt and no other choices
She never taught him how to cry only how to sing.
Happy in herself - just as she wished to be -
she taught him endless space and vastness
and she calls him: Open-hearted.

Sydian

fake your death.

Age 30
they/them
Georgia
Seen May 22nd, 2022
Posted November 29th, 2021
33,354 posts
15.2 Years
Well, to be honest, I probably wouldn't even be having sex lol. And if I was having sex, I'd probably be married. And if I was married, I would be financially stable. And if I was married, financially stable, and having sex, I'd use protection. And I don't want to give birth. See, I'd rather be the person adopting the child in this situation. When I saw this thread labeled as "adoption" I was hoping it'd be about whether or not you'd choose to adopt instead of put up your child for adoption...anyway, I wouldn't put up my child for adoption. That was MYYYY BAAAAD so you know, I'm not just gonna go give it away. I don't think I could. 9 months in me and all that pushing and screaming, hell no, you're staying right here, kid. lol But since you're making me go against my will and put the thing up for adoption, I'll just wait till he/she can hire a private investigator and come find me. I'd like pictures from the adoptive parents though, but I'm afraid Syd Jr. would get taken up by some crazy family so...ehhh.

I like adoption more from the other way around, as in me adopting. Just saying. v_v lol
BURY ME SIX FEET DEEP COVER ME IN CONCRETE
twitter | twitch | youtube

Elite Overlord LeSabre™

On that 'Non stop road'

Age 97
Shimoda City
Seen 2 Days Ago
Posted January 25th, 2022
9,705 posts
15.5 Years
Having been adopted myself, I can say with confidence that unless the kid expresses some interest in learning about his/her natural parents, I'd stay out of their life. I personally haven't made any attempt to find my birth mother, nor have I ever had the desire to do so, so I figure I wouldn't get involved with the kid's life unless they want me to be.

Of course, I don't ever see myself doing anything where I might end up with this scenario...

Elite Overlord LeSabre™
PC Vital Stats
* Pair
* PC Family
* Bishies
* VG Claims
* Friend Codes
Links
* Blog
* Web Site
* Fan Fictions:
* Leaf Green LP