Help & Advice Thread Page 10

Started by Livewire April 15th, 2013 9:25 AM
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  • 618 replies
Seen July 22nd, 2016
Posted July 22nd, 2016
900 posts
12.8 Years
Anti-depressants. Are the risks worth the reward? Anybody have any experience with them?
Anti-depressants, like any drug (including Tylenol), has side-effects. With anti-depressants, there have been a lot of stories that taking certain of these medications has led to some having suicidal thoughts. And it's not just one type. It really depends on a person's physiology and how their system reacts to the drugs being taken. Before even considering taking anti-depressants you should consult your doctor and specifically talk about the risks associated with the type of medication your doctor is proposing to prescribe to you.
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Origin Green

Smell ya later!

Age 28
Male
England
Seen September 28th, 2015
Posted December 2nd, 2014
64 posts
13.5 Years
Guys I'm not sure I know where to turn, but this community is so awesome and friendly I'm hoping somebody can help calm me down...

I was with my ex for almost 3 years...

She left me right at the beginning of April (April 6th), and within days she was dating guys using an online dating website, I discovered this on her twitter...

Anyway, here we are two months later, I have made no contact in these two months and it hurts quite a lot. My friend who still has her on Facebook has noticed she is now in a relationship with another guy (a complete different guy to the one mentioned on twitter)

So my question, do you guys think this is a rebound? She is the type of girl to lock her emotions away when she is in pain, and before I was with her I have seen her enter a rebound relationship before...

seeker

Ireland
Seen November 1st, 2019
Posted May 20th, 2018
10,593 posts
14.1 Years
Guys I'm not sure I know where to turn, but this community is so awesome and friendly I'm hoping somebody can help calm me down...

I was with my ex for almost 3 years...

She left me right at the beginning of April (April 6th), and within days she was dating guys using an online dating website, I discovered this on her twitter...

Anyway, here we are two months later, I have made no contact in these two months and it hurts quite a lot. My friend who still has her on Facebook has noticed she is now in a relationship with another guy (a complete different guy to the one mentioned on twitter)

So my question, do you guys think this is a rebound? She is the type of girl to lock her emotions away when she is in pain, and before I was with her I have seen her enter a rebound relationship before...
Hey there, just merged your thread in here buddy.

If I were to give you advice though, it would be this; don't worry too much about what she's doing. If she's with another guy now, that is her choice whether it is rebound or not. Right now, you need to take the time to be your own person and work on your own goals and opportunities in life. Thinking about her and how she's getting on will only hurt you further. Whether or not she's rebounding shouldn't matter at all to you. I understand you may be concerned for her, but you should be more concerned about doing your best to move on. If you're still holding onto hope of getting back together, I would recommend that you don't think about it. If somewhere down the line it works out between you two again, great, but the chances are you're best off just moving on given what has happened. And by moving on, I mean completely. If you love(d) her, it's going to take a long time to let those feelings dwindle. So I suggest that you really pull yourself out of that relationship, and thinking about it, and just go ahead and be your own person and do the things that make you happy. Try not to worry about what she's doing, it really shouldn't matter, and all it's going to do is hurt you thinking about it.

Universe

all-consuming

Seen November 16th, 2016
Posted November 16th, 2016
2,239 posts
9.6 Years
Guys I'm not sure I know where to turn, but this community is so awesome and friendly I'm hoping somebody can help calm me down...

I was with my ex for almost 3 years...

She left me right at the beginning of April (April 6th), and within days she was dating guys using an online dating website, I discovered this on her twitter...

Anyway, here we are two months later, I have made no contact in these two months and it hurts quite a lot. My friend who still has her on Facebook has noticed she is now in a relationship with another guy (a complete different guy to the one mentioned on twitter)

So my question, do you guys think this is a rebound? She is the type of girl to lock her emotions away when she is in pain, and before I was with her I have seen her enter a rebound relationship before...
I'll go ahead and throw in my two cents as well if you don't mind, friend.

She left you, dear. I wish there was a kinder way to put that, but honesty is the best policy, especially in this case. And while I know it might be hard to not think about her and how this is affecting you and your life, you must keep in mind that she is no longer interested as of right now. It's tough to believe and tough to understand, I know. But if she left you to start with then you might not want to get your hopes up too much... it's not worth the stress you'll end up putting yourself through wondering and waiting on her.

This kind of case to me just feels like she was probably already wanting to see other people before she left you if it only took days for her to hook up with someone again.

Do you really think that kind of person is worth your pain?

Your own well being is far more important than her. You need to focus on yourself and how you are doing, not what she's up to or how she's doing. 3 years is a long time, but any relationship can be gone in a matter of seconds. Anything that is meant to be in life will be, and anything that is not simply won't be. Move on with your life keeping that in mind, and who knows! You could very well find that your life is better off without her if you give it enough time. Because you don't need her around to be happy, I promise you that. Your quality of life does not depend on her being in your life.

Just keep your chin up, okay? Things will get better. They always do.

Give yourself a little tlc every now and again, alright?

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pastel_fallout

Sayounara

Age 23
Female
Glitch City
Seen March 16th, 2016
Posted May 13th, 2015
164 posts
9.3 Years
Hey everyone...
I'm going through a severe depression due to my parents getting a divorce.
I'm staying with my dad. Tbh, I never really liked my mom, but I guess them not being together really is taking a toll on me.
I've been in depression before, but it's never gotten this bad. I'm having bad thoughts. I've been blatantly thinking of many different ways to end my life.
I am very honestly very scared for myself.
I don't have many people to talk to. I don't have many friends that live close to me IRL that I can talk to about this, and I can't talk to my dad about it either. He's depressed enough, I don't need to depress him more.
Going to counseling isn't an option either, as the closest counseling center is 4 towns away, and we simply cannot pay for both the gas and the counseling.
What should I do? I'm worried about myself...
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Seen July 22nd, 2016
Posted July 22nd, 2016
900 posts
12.8 Years
As a person who also suffers from depression, I can totally relate to your situation. The first thing to remember in cases like this is that there are always options. You've listed one, which is councelling, but as you've already ruled that out, there is another option you can consider. I don't know where you are, but if you are in the U.S. or Canada, every state and province has a youth crisis hotline. These are probably your safest place to start. They're toll free, and completely confidential. These people are very capable of helping you through your situation.

I'd also like to let you know that no matter how difficult it seems, you can help yourself through this. The first step will be to make that phone call.
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Seen July 9th, 2021
Posted June 15th, 2020
27 posts
9 Years
I don't want to sound whiny or anything, but...I miss my sister. Not my real sister, but a friend I've had since sixth grade. She's going as an exchange college student sometime next month, and she's spent this month going out with our friends, just, you know, saying goodbye.
But I haven't been invited.
It's just. Ugh. We used to be so close, then we had a falling out senior year, and it's never been the same since then. I just want it to be easy again, making inappropriate jokes and being as close as we used to be in sixth grade. I want to be there when she leaves for her exchange. Why is it that high school changes so many things that you never ever wanted to change?
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Age 29
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen January 2nd, 2015
Posted November 28th, 2014
910 posts
12.1 Years
Hey everyone...
I'm going through a severe depression due to my parents getting a divorce.
I'm staying with my dad. Tbh, I never really liked my mom, but I guess them not being together really is taking a toll on me.
I've been in depression before, but it's never gotten this bad. I'm having bad thoughts. I've been blatantly thinking of many different ways to end my life.
I am very honestly very scared for myself.
I don't have many people to talk to. I don't have many friends that live close to me IRL that I can talk to about this, and I can't talk to my dad about it either. He's depressed enough, I don't need to depress him more.
Going to counseling isn't an option either, as the closest counseling center is 4 towns away, and we simply cannot pay for both the gas and the counseling.
What should I do? I'm worried about myself...
Are you in High School? Generally schools have at least a "careers counsellor" or similar who aren't exactly qualified, but have sufficient experience and information to help you out. There really are many options but for some reason we struggle to find.
You can always get anonymous help online. Coming here was a really good choice, PC is a really friendly environment, very little judging characters. This thread is tailored to people like you, who are looking for help. Aside from reassuring you I'm afraid I'm not much help personally.
Just know this, we all support you. You are a part of this community, and people here genuinely care about your wellbeing. Don't burn out just yet, give it a little bit it's going to get easier.



I don't want to sound whiny or anything, but...I miss my sister. Not my real sister, but a friend I've had since sixth grade. She's going as an exchange college student sometime next month, and she's spent this month going out with our friends, just, you know, saying goodbye.
But I haven't been invited.
It's just. Ugh. We used to be so close, then we had a falling out senior year, and it's never been the same since then. I just want it to be easy again, making inappropriate jokes and being as close as we used to be in sixth grade. I want to be there when she leaves for her exchange. Why is it that high school changes so many things that you never ever wanted to change?
This kind of thing happens. When you finish high school you find out exactly who cared about you; they'll be the only ones who return your messages and make an effort to see you (or at least contact you). I know personally I went from having many people I would talk to exactly like you and your proposed sister but the last time we spoke was the day of graduation.
I've been in almost exactly your situation at least three times in the last five years. A falling out with a childhood friend resulting in you trying to make contact and constantly being forgotten.
My advice for you, make sure you know that friendship is a two way street. Invite them to come hang out. If they say yes but can't make it for whatever reason give them another chance and try again. After a second failed attempt leave it at "Now worries, let me know when you want to hang out". Odds are and I'm sorry to say you won't hear back. Focus on the people who do make the effort and that don't see hanging out with you a chore. Make it that easy with people who are willing to make it that easy. They'll be better friends than she is right now.
Also be weary that you aren't giving the cold shoulder to other friends in attempts to not get blown off by this girl. No one likes being the rebound.

Blu·Ray

Manta Ray Pokémon

Age 25
Male
Denmark
Seen February 13th, 2017
Posted August 12th, 2016
382 posts
13.1 Years
You can always get anonymous help online. Coming here was a really good choice, PC is a really friendly environment, very little judging characters. This thread is tailored to people like you, who are looking for help. Aside from reassuring you I'm afraid I'm not much help personally.
Just know this, we all support you. You are a part of this community, and people here genuinely care about your wellbeing. Don't burn out just yet, give it a little bit it's going to get easier.
This is so true. Know that if you want to let it all out and tell your story to someone who genuinely wants to listen you can always talk to people here on PC. The people here are nice and understanding, and although most of us have no official competence in dealing with depression, we have lives too (even if it may not seem that way) and we can provide you with humble opinions and incentives ;)

Seen July 22nd, 2016
Posted July 22nd, 2016
900 posts
12.8 Years
Not really seeking help, but just wanted to say that after 5 mostly wonderful years, I'm now single as of this morning . It's been a really rough day as my ex broke up with me just this morning. It's going to take a while to get a handle on my emotions.

The thing is, I was expecting it to happen, maybe not right now, but eventually. Like my ex said, we've just been growing apart lately and it's time to move on.

I think it's safest to take it slow on here for a while because I don't want to say something that might offend someone. And if I do, I truly am sorry. My emotions are all out of whack right now. Some of the time I'm crying, other times I just want to throw something, and other times I just don't feel anything at all.

I know eventually I'll meet another guy, but I'm not really looking. I don't want a rebound relationship. Mostly, I just need people to talk to.
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gimmepie

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
Well then Jay, you've come to the right place.
I'm sure you've noticed since you have been here longer than me, but PC is full of people who are friendly, understanding and good to talk to.

Since you aren't explicitly advice-hunting (which may or may not result in me looking like I'm talking to someone invisible), all I'll say is talk to some of us friendly people. I'm always up for a conversation once we find some middle ground in our interests - although I'm for telling you why I'm right too xD
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Sushimmi

Transformice <3

Age 23
Female
Singapore
Seen August 23rd, 2014
Posted August 16th, 2014
78 posts
9.6 Years
I (probably) have social anxiety. It wasn't so bad in primary school, I was short and often teased about it so I was pretty self-conscious ed (WTC spellcheck) about standing in front and getting judged about going the wrong way, etc. When I got into puberty my friend told me I stink, then I started imagining that I was a stink bomb everywhere I go. The stinky part is not that bad now, but it shows it's ugly face every now and then.

Now in secondary, all my friends went into really good schools (I was in the top class) while I went into a neighboring one. Not that bad, I just needed new friends. The first few weeks were all fun and joy, but I was awkward and failed to keep many of them. Going everywhere and doing things alone was miserable. I stopped going for recess because I don't want people to see that I have no friends.

It's funny how my primary school friend always feared of being judged is really friendly and popular in school and I, who always told him to chill and stop thinking so much completely suck at socializing. It's a wonder how we became friends.

But it's not what I wanted to ask for help. Was just throwing it out there. My junior have depression and I don't know what to do. Fresh cuts appears on her body every few weeks and she had a break down once during CCA. Luckily her best friend was there and helped her.

Honestly, I don't want to view her as a person with depression but I don't want to ignore her either. Please give me a rough overview of depression (I couldn't understand a word wikipedia said other than 'sad' 'depression' 'sometimes suicidal') and how to encourage her to come back for choir.
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Nick

Seen 3 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
Honestly, I don't want to view her as a person with depression but I don't want to ignore her either. Please give me a rough overview of depression (I couldn't understand a word wikipedia said other than 'sad' 'depression' 'sometimes suicidal') and how to encourage her to come back for choir.
I don't really have any advice for you how to deal with it, because it's not something that you can really deal with or get her out of it. Depression is a very deep wound in someone's psyche, and it requires a lot of work to overcome. Encouragement doesn't really affect it that much, and if you did manage to convince her, she'd probably be very reluctant in it anyway.

Given your social anxiety, this should be easy for you to picture if it's described in the right way, and I'll try my best to do that.

I think the best way to try to understand depression is to try to think to the saddest moment in your life. Combine that with a feeling of unease and uncertainty. Add the tension placed on you to live a happy life and whatever other expectations that are placed on you. Add in whatever other mental issues you have and whatever stress you have in your everyday life that you feel. Your hope is drained and mostly nonexistent. You have an empty feeling, like you're missing something important. You don't enjoy the things that you used to enjoy. You become anxious. You become disinterested in the world and the important things in life, like friends and family.

You have an anchor attached to your heart, and its sinking into your chest.

Now imagine, you come home from a night out with friends. You had a good time with them. It was really enjoyable. You went to a movie, had a few laughs, and went out to eat before calling it a night and going back home. When you get home, there's someone there waiting for you. It's the embodiment of all of those feelings. This person is someone you're familiar with. He's been a "friend" of yours for what seems like your whole life. He likes being around you, but you don't like being around him. Being around him makes you sad. Being around him gives you all of those feelings of hopelessness and dread that I described above.

Now imagine that friend being around you all the time, everywhere, sitting in the corner of the room. When you look at him, those feelings come to you. You try not to look at him, but something draws you toward him when you aren't distracted by something else. And when you are distracted by something else, the urge to look is still present in your mind. You try to fight it, but it becomes overwhelming, and you eventually look.

It's kind of like that. A persistent, overwhelming negative aura that consumes your innermost thoughts. It makes you second guess everything. It makes you look at yourself poorly. It affects your self-esteem, and lowers your self-worth. You start to feel like a burden to those around you, because you don't see any value in yourself, so how could anyone else see any value in you?
Age 30
Male
Seen December 24th, 2018
Posted December 24th, 2018
217 posts
8.7 Years
I was talking to this girl, and she totallyyy screwed me over. I deactivated all my social media because I find social media to be a waste of my time. She took that time to post stuff about another guy she was talking too because she was under the assumption I wouldn't find out due to me having deactivated my account. Buuuut then one day a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of it, and the entire time she had still been talking to me, making me thing she was only talking to me, and that she wants to date and all this other stuff. Then when I find out, everything get's all weird, I drop her and then she comes running righhhhht back. She says she won't do it again but she could easillyyyy do it again if she already did, especially considering she's messed with my trust. I just don't know what to do because I have really strong feelings for her.

You serious, bruh?

Phantom

Uh, I didn't do it

Age 32
Female
Minnesota
Seen September 18th, 2017
Posted September 18th, 2017
1,182 posts
11.8 Years
I was talking to this girl, and she totallyyy screwed me over. I deactivated all my social media because I find social media to be a waste of my time. She took that time to post stuff about another guy she was talking too because she was under the assumption I wouldn't find out due to me having deactivated my account. Buuuut then one day a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of it, and the entire time she had still been talking to me, making me thing she was only talking to me, and that she wants to date and all this other stuff. Then when I find out, everything get's all weird, I drop her and then she comes running righhhhht back. She says she won't do it again but she could easillyyyy do it again if she already did, especially considering she's messed with my trust. I just don't know what to do because I have really strong feelings for her.
How old are you? Just wondering, it will effect my answer.

Phantom

Uh, I didn't do it

Age 32
Female
Minnesota
Seen September 18th, 2017
Posted September 18th, 2017
1,182 posts
11.8 Years
I'm 21 years old, that's why I have a 93 in my username
Right then, sorry, you never know nowadays. I had a 90 in mine and people would call me a kid.

Anywho.

I'd say move on.

One, the trust is gone. Give her another chance all you'd like, but the doubt will still linger in your mind. It will never really go away. The 'what ifs' will still plague you. Clear your head. Obviously, she didn't think much of you if she screwed you over, so she's not worth your forgiveness. And hell if she's worth a second chance. This is that moment where you can take pride in telling her, "No, you had your chance." and keep moving forward.

Don't let her manipulate you.

I'm speaking from experience here, mate.
Seen July 22nd, 2016
Posted July 22nd, 2016
900 posts
12.8 Years
I was talking to this girl, and she totallyyy screwed me over. I deactivated all my social media because I find social media to be a waste of my time. She took that time to post stuff about another guy she was talking too because she was under the assumption I wouldn't find out due to me having deactivated my account. Buuuut then one day a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of it, and the entire time she had still been talking to me, making me thing she was only talking to me, and that she wants to date and all this other stuff. Then when I find out, everything get's all weird, I drop her and then she comes running righhhhht back. She says she won't do it again but she could easillyyyy do it again if she already did, especially considering she's messed with my trust. I just don't know what to do because I have really strong feelings for her.
I think you know the answer already. She has the carrot on the stick, and is enticing you with it, leading you around like a donkey. She knows you have feelings for her and she's using that whenever something else does not go her away. Regardless of your feelings for her, to try and be in a relationship with her is to accept you will get hurt by her. Is the pain you will suffer worth the few moments of happiness you might have with her? I guess only you can decide that. If it was me, I'd end it and tell her exactly why, then walk away.
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Age 30
Male
Seen December 24th, 2018
Posted December 24th, 2018
217 posts
8.7 Years
Right then, sorry, you never know nowadays. I had a 90 in mine and people would call me a kid.

Anywho.

I'd say move on.

One, the trust is gone. Give her another chance all you'd like, but the doubt will still linger in your mind. It will never really go away. The 'what ifs' will still plague you. Clear your head. Obviously, she didn't think much of you if she screwed you over, so she's not worth your forgiveness. And hell if she's worth a second chance. This is that moment where you can take pride in telling her, "No, you had your chance." and keep moving forward.

Don't let her manipulate you.

I'm speaking from experience here, mate.
Dude, the funny thing is you are completely right about everything your talking about. I already have a feeling that it will happen again, and this is probably the kind of situation I should trust my gut on.

I think you know the answer already. She has the carrot on the stick, and is enticing you with it, leading you around like a donkey. She knows you have feelings for her and she's using that whenever something else does not go her away. Regardless of your feelings for her, to try and be in a relationship with her is to accept you will get hurt by her. Is the pain you will suffer worth the few moments of happiness you might have with her? I guess only you can decide that. If it was me, I'd end it and tell her exactly why, then walk away.
Dude, thank you. That metaphor was perfect haha sometimes a little harsh truth can go a long way. As I mentioned previously, I had accepted the high possibility that it will happen again. Besides, two of my friends called pretty much everything that happened. I think part of my feelings are afraid of seeing her with another dude, but I think I need to pound it into my head that I would probably be better off without her.

Konekodemon

The Master of Pokemon Breeding

Age 38
Female
NC
Seen August 21st, 2022
Posted February 14th, 2022
2,061 posts
16.1 Years
Help! I need advice. I've been having heartburn in other parts of my body that isn't my chest. It feels like heartburn but a friend of mine says it isn't. That heartburn is only in your chest. If that's true why am I getting burning sensations in other parts of my body that feel like heartburn? I get it in my arms, legs, neck and even my ears. Why is this happening? What's causing it?

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obZen

Kill Your Heroes

Age 32
Male
/tmp/obZen/.locale
Seen January 1st, 2021
Posted December 27th, 2020
397 posts
17.5 Years
Help! I need advice. I've been having heartburn in other parts of my body that isn't my chest. It feels like heartburn but a friend of mine says it isn't. That heartburn is only in your chest. If that's true why am I getting burning sensations in other parts of my body that feel like heartburn? I get it in my arms, legs, neck and even my ears. Why is this happening? What's causing it?
I'd go to an "urgent care" (idk if you have those where you live) and see a quick doctor, just to get an opinion.

I personally doubt it's anything; let us know


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Oryx

CoquettishCat

Age 30
Female
Seen January 30th, 2015
Posted December 27th, 2014
13,184 posts
12.2 Years
Help! I need advice. I've been having heartburn in other parts of my body that isn't my chest. It feels like heartburn but a friend of mine says it isn't. That heartburn is only in your chest. If that's true why am I getting burning sensations in other parts of my body that feel like heartburn? I get it in my arms, legs, neck and even my ears. Why is this happening? What's causing it?
There aren't any doctors on PC, and the human body is so complex that it could be any number of things. Go to the doctor.


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gimmepie

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Day Ago
Just echoing what the others have said really.

Get to a doctor. There's an extremely large range of things that the symptoms you have described could be. If the pain is too bad go to the emergency department. It's better safe than sorry and even the most knowledgeable non-doctors of us here can't compare to the knowledge of a trained professional.

Let us know, we might not have the slightest idea who you are (well some of us anyway) but we can still worry!
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CoffeeDrink

GET WHILE THE GETTIN'S GOOD

Male
Lootin' Your Poké's
Seen December 4th, 2016
Posted December 4th, 2016
1,250 posts
9.7 Years
Help! I need advice. I've been having heartburn in other parts of my body that isn't my chest. It feels like heartburn but a friend of mine says it isn't. That heartburn is only in your chest. If that's true why am I getting burning sensations in other parts of my body that feel like heartburn? I get it in my arms, legs, neck and even my ears. Why is this happening? What's causing it?
Let's see, going by life experience, this may be a symptom of hot flashes. Being male, I have not experienced hot flashes first hand, but being around numerous women that have experienced it (Family members, as well as personal relationships) it was best described as a 'prickling sensations akin to heart burn'. Now, while I am no physician and I am sure it is difficult to get an accurate feel for symptoms over the internet, I urge you to contact your PCP and explain to them the goings ons with your body to get a more accurate reading.

Hot flashes are not just a symptom of menopause, either, and may be caused in numerous ways. Foods, drinks, stress, fatigue, smoking, caffeine, dehydration, poor diet and/or lack of regular exercise may be contributing factors or even cause them on their own individually. Again, my ideas and thoughts should in no way influence you to purchase any medications or prescriptions. Consult your PCP as soon as possible to determine what it is that is causing these 'heartburn' sensations all over your body. Make an appointment as soon as you are able to do so. It may also be wise to make yourself a list of all your symptoms by writing them down. Do some research on these symptoms and some potential causes and bring your notes to your PCP. While your notes may be off, and you may sound silly, they help you and your PCP to pinpoint the problem. It is better to look silly than it is to be dealing with some harrowing disease later down the line.

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