Well, this is my first fanfiction, so don't judge me too hashly if it sucks. And also this is just the beginning of it. It did not just end there, i hope you enjoy it. Tell me if you do. because i'll work to make more of it if so. so yeah..
I hope you know then, that all I'm saying, I say so that you can improve ;)
First off, are you typing this chapter up directly in the web browser, or in a document on the computer? It is a bit strange that you have all the text in one, huge paragraph. Well, two if you count where you make new rows to distinguish the prologue from what I assume is the first chapter.
Split your story up in paragraphs. Lots of them. It makes the whole thing
much easier to read and understand. Rather than a wall of text, you give the eyes a chance to rest between dialogue or events in the story. Try something like this:
Rain poured onto the treetops of petalburg forest, the slakoth hid behind any dry spots the could find in the trees. The shroomish where going around munching on the composted soil despite the rainy weather. The poocheyana where hiding in nooks and crannies shivering because of their wet pelts, the seedot clung to their trees absorbing the water the trees are sucking in. And the taillow have all fled to find a dryer place to live temporarily.
And then there was one lone lotad who had managed to somehow wander into the forest on accident. It walked around, trying to figure out how to find the exit of the place. But it kept looking backwards, it had the feeling something was following it.
After a while the little lotad new that there was and quickened it’s pace into a slow jog. Then it cried out in surprise.
“LOTAD!"
Some pokemon had used a cut attack on it. The lotad looked behind itself and saw the pokemon.
“Geng, Gangar!” it cried out to the lotad, who used bubble beam in haste not realizing it barely did anything to the gengar, and ran away.
This is much more pleasant to read. I also changed a few words here and there, just because it wouldn't have been understandable otherwise...
See, there are also some troubles with your grammar and spelling. Try to always read through a chapter once or twice
after you believe that you have finished typing it up. More often than not, you'll catch some strangely worded sentence that you would want to edit, or some spelling mistake you didn't see when you were in the heat of typing.
When writing about battling and pokémon using attacks, you are of course free to do it your way. But I think it's more exciting to read if you actually describe what the attacks look like and how the pokémon hit by them react. You don't have to do it in careful detail, but something more than just "After some water guns and shadow balls". Know what I mean?
Also, the capture of Lotad was a bit brief. Did he join the human so willingly because he was afraid that Gengar would find him again? Why did the human
ask him to join rather than battle him, as trainers most often do with wild pokémon? Maybe it was because he just saved Lotad from Gengar and took pity on it? This is a bit too unclear and, well, brief in your story, imo.
Try to use some spacing between chapters. Just like with paragraphs - make it clear what is what! A new chapter? Maybe bold the title of it or something, so that the reader understands beyond doubt that the new chapter starts there. Or call it "chapter 1" or something. Not a must, but it definitely helps.
Also, you suddenly switched perspective from third person to first person between the chapters. This might be a mistake, or just a chosen style of yours.
Try to put new dialogue on a new line, as a standard rule :) Imo there are ways to do this differently while still keeping it neat, but for starters, it's a good rule. Like:
“Well, he’s not a cyndaquill anymore” Seth said proud of his pokemon
“Wha, cyndaquill evolved?” I asked in awe.
“Quillava” said a sort of familiar voice as well.
I looked at the base of my bed and saw Cynda- oh right I forgot, I saw quilava lying down, along with mudkip, lotad, and Gligar, I noticed how he now had two flames on its back. I petted it, not the flames, his back…. Well you know what I was talking about.
“What about parker is he here?” I ask realizing Parker wasn’t there with his turtwig, or grotle.
I also don't completely understand the correlation between the prologue and the first chapter. Is it about the same Lotad? So the trainer with the Mudkip in the prologue is really Dan's father? Maybe you meant for this to be mysterious :)
In any case, it was a nice, different beginning to a trainer story. 3 pokémon instead of just one! And also, pretty cool and unusual pokémon you chose to begin with, Gligar and Lotad. I hope you take my advice to heart (especially about paragraphs and proof-reading) and continue the story on soon!