Loneliness.

Started by Lindblum December 29th, 2013 12:22 PM
  • 1854 views
  • 59 replies

Lindblum

you're not alone

Female
Lindblum Grand Castle
Seen January 3rd, 2014
Posted December 29th, 2013
16 posts
9.4 Years
I'm pretty sure everyone experiences this at some point. But is it really always a bad feeling? Do you prefer to be alone most of the time or are you one of those people who can't get by in the day without having conversed with someone else. This can range from small talk, to having to know everything that is going on in your friend circle/at work etc.

I always wonder if it's the fact that we always associate being alone with loneliness that being by yourself is quite often viewed as a negative thing. It could be the idea of being alone, not the actual fact that you are alone and you can do as you please (most of the time!) that induces so much loneliness.

Do you get lonely often? Did you ever go through a period in your life where you were actively alone for long periods of time?

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Ultramarine

Turn the tables

Age 24
Male
Illinois, USA
Seen October 12th, 2014
Posted October 10th, 2014
148 posts
9.5 Years
Yah, I have nothing to do and all day to do it. This leads to me spamming my friends and if I just meet someone, while I may not talk much in person, I can't help but talk a lot via text. I've lost friends because I talked to them too much and I got annoying. I'm working on it, but...

Controversial?

Bored musician, bad programmer

Non-binary
UK
Seen October 11th, 2020
Posted April 24th, 2020
639 posts
12.4 Years
I used to be very antisocial; I had social anxiety, I couldn't talk to anyone and I had very few friends.

But I think there was one point where I realised my loneliness (the last thing my ex said to me on the phone before we broke up was "Your problem is you're just lonely" and that just got to me so much) and I decided to do something about it. Every day, I try to talk to at least one person who's not a member of my family - whether it be phoning them or texting - and it's just made me much more comfortable. Even today, I've done nothing social all day, but I've facebooked quite a few of my friends. I doubt I could revert back to being asocial and lonely like I was before.
???

Crunch Punch

fire > ice

Age 25
Male
England
Seen March 18th, 2019
Posted January 16th, 2017
1,374 posts
10.2 Years
Well... I'm the only one in my family without a job, so there are multiple times throughout the week where everyone except me are out of the house at the same time, especially in holidays. So yeah, I am lonely frequently, though not for a long time in a day, just a lot of times. Though I don't mind just my own company I do need to speak to people to keep me sane and that is one of the reasons why I'm part of PC I guess.

There was a period of time however earlier this month when my school didn't give me the permission to go with my family to attend my sister's wedding back in my home country, and so I was home alone for two weeks. It was actually fun the first few days, being all by myself and therefore being able to crank up the volume on music and just lounge around doing absolutely nothing but after a while I started feeling really lonely and so my mood was pretty crappy. So the second week my friends came to mine all the time and sometimes stayed in for the night. I felt much better and less sad afterwards.
>> paired to gimmepie · last.fm

ElGuapoAssassin

Lord Of Dragons

Age 35
Male
Ohio
Seen January 8th, 2014
Posted January 4th, 2014
35 posts
9.4 Years
I've been through a lot of negative things this year, so being alone just gives me time to think about all the bad things that has happened and I hate to dwell because it's never good. Other than that, I love my solitude. I went through a period of my life where I had no friends for over a year and spent that entire year alone and I loved it. Sometimes people and their drama can really get to you and it's best to step away from it for awhile and relax.
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Age 34
Male
Seen August 1st, 2021
Posted March 18th, 2014
98 posts
14.4 Years
Let's get one thing straight, being alone is not the same thing as feeling lonely. Personally I do not mind being alone, I enjoy solitude to a point and sometimes you just need to be alone. You may be alone but there are people you can talk to and are willing to take time out of their days to talk to you. Being lonely is feeling like there isn't anyone there for you at all, doesn't matter the reason but people rarely talk to you. It just feels like no one either notices you, or if they do want nothing to do with you emotionally. You could be with a group of people but still feel lonely for various reasons.
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Sniper

ふゆかい

Male
Philippines
Seen August 9th, 2016
Posted June 5th, 2016
1,412 posts
9.5 Years
Depends on the situation. Sometimes, I like to be alone or not. But for me, it's really better to be alone.
I'm not really that good at making friends, and I'm more like a shut-in kind of person. It's just different
when I'm alone, I can think of many things and reflect. In my opinion, being with someone really makes
me happy, but, I don't wanna feel happy every time. It's a weird feeling, but I think I just gotta wake up.
But, I'm more lonely than friendly. I'm different today, that was when I were a kid. People change. :)


Seen March 22nd, 2014
Posted January 18th, 2014
39 posts
9.4 Years
I hate how it's a "bad" thing to want to be alone, so I feel compelled to always surround myself with people when I'm in public. But I hate it. I feel so uncomfortable. I'd much rather prefer being alone.

Everyone thinks I'm this huge extrovert but I always fake it. Whenever there's a school break or holiday I always go ghost and everyone thinks that's so weird but after months of pretending to enjoy myself with others, I just get tired. I constantly crave a break from people, even from people I'm close to.
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Nolafus

Aspiring something

Age 27
Male
Lost in thought... again
Seen March 3rd, 2018
Posted March 11th, 2017
5,722 posts
10.9 Years
I lock myself in my room all day. Don't get me wrong, I like spending time with friends, but it gets a bit much at times. If I don't spend time alone I get crabby and mad at everything. When my relatives were over for Christmas, I didn't get any time to myself for about three days. When my brother wanted to use the Xbox, I shouted at him to shutup out of the blue. Yeah, I locked myself in my room after that and felt completely better after an hour or two.
PairPC sister

gimmepie

Age 27
Male
Australia
Seen 12 Hours Ago
Posted 15 Hours Ago
24,970 posts
11.1 Years
I like to be alone, I hate to be lonely.

Sometimes solitude is relaxing or comforting, it can be nice to be away from people and the drams they bring etc... but at the same time, feeling disconnected is terrible. I do like the company of others and contact with others but sometimes it just gets to be a bit much.
RPWLA&MVGGaming Journal
Age 29
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen January 2nd, 2015
Posted November 28th, 2014
910 posts
12.1 Years
I've been getting increasingly lonely over the Christmas break. It sucks and I've been inadvertently learning things about myself which I don't think I would if I had anyone else to focus attention on.
I miss the days where I could fall asleep with whomever and not have the itching feeling that I need to leave before they wake up. Actually i wish I could wake up next to someone knowing it meant something being there.

Autaven

Gamer Girl

Female
Scotland
Seen January 16th, 2014
Posted January 4th, 2014
248 posts
16.1 Years
I don't mind being alone - and I've came to realise that if I don't get a certain amount of time alone (eg. over Christmas when there is a lot of family gatherings etc) then I become a little cranky. I think it gives me time to unwind and relax - all I really like to do is sit on my laptop, play some things or watch something. I think everyone has their own thing which helps them to stay calm and in control.

That isn't to say I'd always want to be by myself, I am happy spending time with my family and my boyfriend and life is much happier with them in it - but I am also comfortable spending time with just myself :)
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Fernbutter

Murder is the way.

Male
The depths of the internet
Seen June 10th, 2017
Posted June 2nd, 2014
821 posts
9.4 Years
Please don't call me crazy for saying this

Well technically I don't ever get too lonely considering that I hear so many voices in my head anyways Maybe I'm Schitzo

But I don't mind being alone, it helps me think, when you are alone for too long, that's probably when you start getting lonely, sometimes it is a bad thing because it could lead to depression then to worse things if you aren't a very strong person.

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I wonder where it's gone.

Nathan

Blade of Justice

Age 25
Male
Earth
Seen January 1st, 2023
Posted September 23rd, 2022
4,066 posts
10.9 Years
Most of the time, I'm usually alone. I'm not that social. In fact, before I joined PC, I could go weeks without texting/calling anyone. I'd just stay in my room listening to music, imagining things and lazying around. I used to mind it and I'd get needy for social interactions but not anymore. In fact, now I prefer staying alone and I'm starting to find social interactions to be boring. At least, there's the Internet.
|| ||

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
I think there's something in the water they give teenagers that either makes them want to be alone or feel lonely when they are. In my experience it evaporates when you hit your early twenties. I like people, I like company and I think cutting yourself off from other people is just cutting yourself off from experiences and missing opportunities.
Moderator of General Chat
Male
Seen April 5th, 2015
Posted February 10th, 2014
86 posts
9.5 Years
It can be a good and bad thing. Honestly, at the moment, I spend 99% of the time with my family. I can't remember the last time I did something with a friend who wasn't family. Not to say I don't have friends, I just stay in contact through Social Networking.

But then in six months I could be the complete opposite and always going out with friends. I have weird phases like that.

Loneliness isn't so bad if you have something to pass the time.
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Being needy and codependent aren't qualities I like at all. That said being a lone wolf is nothing to be proud of either. I definitely spend my fair share of time alone, if that wasn't already obvious enough from the username.

I agree with what Raichu said 100%. I think I can speak for myself and people like me when I say that there is a sick part of us that actually gets off from being secluded from others to the point where we actually feel miserable. I'm out of my teens now so it's getting even more pathetic.

I became aware of my anti-social behavior years ago, yet I never put in the effort or took advantage of any of the opportunities to better myself and become a more outgoing person like I used to be. Whenever people reached out I'd always turn them away or sabotage my relationships with them. Now pretty much everybody who I ever cared about is out in the world living life while I'm at home feeling sorry for myself because I guess I'm dead set on being a miserable piece of **** till the day I die haha.

They say intelligent people have a harder time breaking out of bad habits and addictions because they tend to rationalize pretty much everything they do. For example you could ask me why I am the way I am and I could tell you in great detail about the series of events that led to my mental breakdown a few years ago. But the truth is at a certain it doesn't matter what happened to you or why you are the way you are. The world doesn't revolve around your problems or misery. So you have to actually try to improve yourself or your situation, and more importantly you have to genuinely WANT to improve yourself or your situation. Otherwise life will continue to pass you by.

Tsutarja

Age 28
he / him
Florida
Seen 6 Hours Ago
Posted 15 Hours Ago
27,327 posts
13.2 Years
Usually I feel lonely when my parents say they're going shopping but wind up being gone for like 6 hours or more because they committed to other things without telling me (which unfortunately happens a lot).. but other than that, I have things I could do online if I ever feel lonely.

Nick

Seen 4 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
There's a difference between feeling alone and feeling lonely. Feeling alone isn't that bad (everyone likes being alone at some point. It's necessary), but feeling lonely is something that nobody should ever have to experience. You can feel lonely when you're around other people, but I find it hard to feel alone around other people.