Honor and Duty

Started by ~Ozy~ February 27th, 2005 7:50 PM
  • 451 views
  • 4 replies

~Ozy~

PC's Unofficial Poetry Critic

Age 34
White Sword Tower
Seen June 12th, 2012
Posted December 1st, 2006
5,246 posts
19 Years
Inhale
Open your eyes, look and see
The hopeless path lying at my feet.
Exhale

Rise
Gleam of steel, most precious friend
Another life brought to an end.
Fall

Create
Bound by honor, bound by duty
Strength of my vows obscuring all beauty.
Destroy

Far from my best, I don't really like it. It's still i rough form, but I'm kind stuck as far as revisions. I started writing it to go with my current theme on here. Tell me what you think.
Eternally devoted and wed to my darling pet, Nagoyaka Aikouka.


"Your Grace, all that you say is true. On the Trident, Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought honorably, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died.

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity

Age 34
Pickering, On
Seen August 8th, 2018
Posted May 17th, 2014
2,485 posts
19.7 Years
I really enjoyed that one, the death and the way its told tells alot about the character's personality, and how the amount of self duty thats being felt is so strong that, no real emotions can show to express what is really being felt inside.

Great job another fine example to show people that poetry dousn't have to be long in length, but can still deliver in the end ^^.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

After 7 years, Xbox Live is Still Amazing

·!¦[·Latest pieces of Writing·]¦!·

~Ozy~

PC's Unofficial Poetry Critic

Age 34
White Sword Tower
Seen June 12th, 2012
Posted December 1st, 2006
5,246 posts
19 Years
Why thank you all. It still feels a little unfinished to me, though. Suggestions?
Eternally devoted and wed to my darling pet, Nagoyaka Aikouka.


"Your Grace, all that you say is true. On the Trident, Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought honorably, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died.