How do you gain confidence?

Started by Shining Raichu January 25th, 2014 5:33 AM
  • 1267 views
  • 40 replies

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
So, PokeCommunity, it seems that a lot of our members don't have a lot of confidence. We think we're awkward, we have a myriad of exhausting social phobias and we're generally found in front of a computer reading about life instead of living it. So instead of letting it continue, why don't we do something about it? Let's remedy the problem instead of lamenting it.

So let's begin brainstorming, guys. The confident people are welcome to come in and help the others.

How do we overcome a lack of confidence?
Moderator of General Chat

Khilia

Kawaii in the streets, senpai in the sheets

Age 24
Female
Everywhere yet nowhere
Seen August 12th, 2014
Posted July 6th, 2014
459 posts
9.4 Years
When we were treating my PSch, my psychiatrist told me that self-confidence is a very important thing and we'd need to build it up at first.
The problem is, I didn't know how, but apparently just trying to be socially more active seemed to be something I could do
The next problem is that it's rather difficult for me to do so, at school I'm not really talking to anyone, and if I ever utter something it's just above anyones' head
as well the city I live in is pretty much a ghost town, there's nothing to do in your free time over here (if you'd have any)
my insane shyness towards anyone and the depression I've been stuck in for very long isn't really helping either, so I had to look for other ways to treat myself...
Thus I pretty much ended up conversing with people over the internet, because it's by far, and with that I mean by far easier to talk with anyone for me, and it's actually very fun as well
And people noticed that that changed my IRL behavior as well, I mean, sometimes I like actually talk to people and such in contrary to about one~two years ago

Meganium

memento mori

she/her
Houston, TX
Seen February 1st, 2023
Posted February 1st, 2023
I overcome it by actually doing things instead of watching people doing it. There will be times that I'll be like "uh okay no I better stop before someone makes fun of me" and other times I'll be like "YEAH I CAN DO DIS THING."

If you feel okay for doing said thing, don't hold yourself back like I do frequently. You'll miss out.

this was supposed to be a tl;dr but it's almost 6 am and i was like "naaah"

Nick

Seen 4 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
Feel good music (about things like how great you are, your abilities, conquering the world, overcoming an obstacle, etc.), nice clothes and cooperative hair. Those are the things that affect my confidence the most and its almost entirely reliant on them (at least my it is with my clothes and hair).
lol Raichu is holding an intervention for us. I suggest we make more threads about our problems just to piss him off. No but he has a point. It's a lot easier to talk about what's wrong with you then to fix it.

I wish I could contribute some productive advice but I don't think I have any, or at least nothing comes to mind right now. I'll be following this thread very closely though.

Puddle

Mission Complete✔

Age 27
Male
Jacksonville, Florida
Seen November 17th, 2019
Posted September 5th, 2014
1,458 posts
9.4 Years
This is normally a hard step for someone who isn't confident, but you just need to believe that you're beautiful, that you're awesome, that you're amazing. Because everyone of you out there is! You just have to believe it yourself, and people will start telling you it more. It all comes from yourself first, and once you sort of branch out, people will start to compliment you more and more thus giving you more confidence.

You also need to make sure that people don't get to you. This society is so ****** and 99% of the time, when someone is making fun of you, they are jealous of some trait that you have that they don't. So just remember that, keep your head high and walk away. You don't need to let people like that get the best of you.

Sorry if I worded this wrong, but that's the advice I got.

Guillermo

i own a rabbit heh

Age 28
Australia
Seen April 11th, 2015
Posted May 18th, 2014
6,794 posts
14.9 Years
initially i was an extremely shy kid and wouldn't partake in anything, but as i grew up and started socialising i realised that the world wasn't as big and scary as i thought. i'd say the easiest way for anyone to gain confidence is receiving compliments from others, but as far as self-inflicted confidence, trying things you wouldn't normally try and forcing yourself out of your comfort zone are good places to start...
credittoDukey
one life, one chance


| | le deux | | so-so-soulful

TheZenTraveler

I know my profile is out of date, but don't worry, I'm still here ^-^

Age 28
Male
should've made a left turn at Albuquerque
Seen April 2nd, 2020
Posted February 11th, 2020
213 posts
9.5 Years
Hmm, It may be beneficial for someone to be eased into confidence building situations through a hobby or sport... I've found it's easier to feel more at ease about things when surrounded by people who share some common interests with you. Being more at ease about your surroundings normally boosts your confidence as well... kind of like the home field advantage is supposed to give a psychological confidence boost to a sports team...

I hope this helps a little bit...
My RP characters
Izzy "Doc" Sato in Johto Mysteries - IC/OOC
Grant Hawkins/Clara Warde in Pokemon The Relevations- IC/OOC
AJ in The Hoenn Diaries- IC/OOC
My Pairings

Mark Kamill

I like kitties

Age 30
Male
Seen April 11th, 2023
Posted October 24th, 2021
2,743 posts
10.3 Years
1.Buy yourself some new clothes. If you have done so recently, then that's good. I feel nothing really helps you psychologically more then some good fitting, good looking clothes. Its an external form of self expression that helps you build an identity. An identity is good, as it attracts the attention of others. And why's that? Because you sub-consciously feel good about how you're expressing yourself in that way, and thus you show a level of self appreciation and confidence in yourself. I know it doesn't make sense much, but if for me self respect is necessary for building confidence, as you don't focus too much on yourself with your body language, and you're generally more outward going if your focusing more on your environment then yourself. I know, this post sounds like a mess, but this logic helped me more or less many times.

#328 Trapinch
Supporter Collab January 2015
Doctor Who Fan Club


Faye Rose~

Resilient

Age 28
Female
Ohio, United States
Seen June 30th, 2014
Posted June 28th, 2014
270 posts
9.6 Years
Talking with people who are kind and supportive helps my confidence. When I'm alone and not conversing I begin to think bad, pessimistic thoughts and it gets me depressed and I lose confidence. But it seems to go away a little when I'm talking to people about things instead of thinking about them.
FAYE ROSE~
the world's most
resilient girl


The Rainbow Connection

TheZenTraveler
Sopheria


4012-4551-1244

Controversial?

Bored musician, bad programmer

Non-binary
UK
Seen October 11th, 2020
Posted April 24th, 2020
639 posts
12.4 Years
I used to be really socially awkward, and now I'm incredibly outgoing when I want to be.
I'm not writing an essay, so I'll have a channel that I watch all the time do it for me. This is primarily about social anxiety (from underconfidence), but can apply to anything. Seriously, if this video was made 2-3 years ago, it would have changed me from what I was then into what I am today immediately.

I hope I can help someone here.



Tbh, I kind of did the same tghing. I started pushing myself to talk to people, it sucked at first cos I was awkward and nervoius and now it's second nature.
???

Shining Raichu

Expect me like you expect Jesus.

Age 32
Male
Australia
Seen October 17th, 2020
Posted December 21st, 2017
8,958 posts
12.3 Years
007, this thread is an attempt to help people. I'm not trying to turn people into me or force them into one of these moulds you so desperately want to avoid. Nor am I trying to tell people that it's not good enough to spend their lives sitting in front of a computer. If anybody here is perfectly happy existing as they are, then carry on.

But there are people who aren't happy, and I see them talk about it in this particular forum quite frequently. These are the people I wish to reach. My suspicion is that you're one of them, and as misery loves company you're clasping at straws to keep them right where they are under the guise of not being a conformist.

So if I'm wrong and you're happy as you are, then I wish you the best. If you're not and you'd like some help, feel free to join in the conversation. But if you're going to complain about an attempt to set up a support system for those who want to change or better their lives, then I suggest you turn around right now and stay out of their way.
Moderator of General Chat

Livewire

Male
Sunnyshore City
Seen December 3rd, 2022
Posted August 2nd, 2019
14,091 posts
13.8 Years
Confidence comes from demonstrated ability. To become confident, you have to be brave enough to try at something, knowing that you will possibly fail, and keep at it until you improve, despite any setbacks. Practice does make perfect. You've got to be willing to take a leap of faith.

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
Give zero ****s. Seriously, that's how I roll. Has it got me into trouble, yes, but it's also worked in my favor more times than I can count. Not the best method, but so long as I learn something from failure, then I'm fine.
he did it, not me.

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
It's way harder than it seems for certain people.

I'm terribly afraid of failure so that's why I hate to try some kind of things. Any tips?
Oh, I'm aware. But I don't think people can help people in regards to being braver. They can give advice and such, but you can carry someone only so far. At one point, they'll be on their own, and it's up to them. I guess moral support might help, but in the heat of the moment, eh. Not to be Negative Nancy.

Evening

Non-binary
(Blank)
Seen December 1st, 2021
Posted February 5th, 2016
808 posts
9.4 Years
I just think that I lose myself when I'm not confident.
Being a coward or a shy person is just not my thing.

Nolafus

Aspiring something

Age 27
Male
Lost in thought... again
Seen March 3rd, 2018
Posted March 11th, 2017
5,722 posts
10.9 Years
@007

You realize being confident doesn't mean being outgoing and social, right? Being confident means that you're sure about yourself and have faith that you're doing the right thing. That's it. It's not some sort of cult people want you to be. I'm extremely confident in myself and I hate social situations. Also, it doesn't mean being arrogant either. When someone argues with me, I'll be the first person to swallow my pride and admit that I wasn't 100% right and start looking to find a middle ground. I do that because I'm confident enough in myself that I know that I'm not being a pushover. I just think you have the wrong idea about what being confident is all about.

Anyway, if you want to try to be more confident, try spending more time naked in your room. I'm not even kidding. Scientists have done an actual study where people who spend more time naked in their room tend to be more confident than those who don't. If you're like me and don't want to spend a lot of time being naked, I think confidence just comes with age.

The older I got, the more self-confident I became. I think it's just a maturity thing and no matter how dark it might seem now, confidence will come. It's just a matter of time. :)
PairPC sister

Nick

Seen 4 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
Why do we want to be confident though? So others will accept us,
Why do we want to be confident? So we can accept ourselves. That's why.

Give zero ****s. Seriously, that's how I roll. Has it got me into trouble, yes, but it's also worked in my favor more times than I can count. Not the best method, but so long as I learn something from failure, then I'm fine.
You usually need confidence in yourself to be able not to give a **** what other people have to say or think about you, though.

Nolafus

Aspiring something

Age 27
Male
Lost in thought... again
Seen March 3rd, 2018
Posted March 11th, 2017
5,722 posts
10.9 Years
Why do we want to be confident though? So others will accept us,
Why do we want to be confident? So we can accept ourselves. That's why.
Really? Are you seriously going to do this to me? I write out an entire paragraph about this trying to explain this and all of a sudden Ace just comes skipping along and provides one statement that's much shorter than mine, but gets the point across so much better. Why do I even try?
PairPC sister

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
You usually need confidence in yourself to be able not to give a **** what other people have to say or think about you, though.
Way to throw a wrench into my logic, man. :c I seriously need to rethink things now.