I like so-and-so, but I respect such-and-such.

Started by Alexander Nicholi January 31st, 2014 11:51 AM
  • 614 views
  • 4 replies

Alexander Nicholi

work hard, play hard

Age 25
Male
Research Triangle / Jakarta
Seen February 15th, 2023
Posted March 5th, 2021
5,498 posts
13.5 Years
In human society, most of us seek to be liked and respected by their peers, correct? Well, more often than not the best of people have to choose between the two, meaning it is incredibly difficult to be both.

Would you prefer to be liked, or rather respected? How so? Do you usually stick to respectable/respected people, or likable/well-liked folks? Do you have a general preference between the two?
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Melody

Banned

Female
Cuddling those close to me
Seen March 4th, 2018
Posted March 2nd, 2018
6,459 posts
18.6 Years
Respect is a totally different frame of mind from liking someone.

I can respect you, but still strongly disagree with you on many things without a lot of messy cognitive dissonance.

Liking somebody however involves a fair bit of emotional sentiment, which tends to muddy the waters and make for some cognitive dissonance when you disagree with them. It just feels wrong to do so for some people, and some people are simply not going to put up with this sort of dissonance, and thus may choose not to like someone even if they respect them.

Raine

Age 29
Female
Ontario, Canada
Seen December 16th, 2017
Posted October 5th, 2017
3,722 posts
9.3 Years
Respect is a totally different frame of mind from liking someone.

I can respect you, but still strongly disagree with you on many things without a lot of messy cognitive dissonance.

Liking somebody however involves a fair bit of emotional sentiment, which tends to muddy the waters and make for some cognitive dissonance when you disagree with them. It just feels wrong to do so for some people, and some people are simply not going to put up with this sort of dissonance, and thus may choose not to like someone even if they respect them.
Not only can you respect them, but you could also dislike their whole character and personality together thus the person in general. Respecting others to me means knowing their values and beliefs and understanding them, not necessarily agreeing nor disagreeing. There's plenty of people whom I respect such as my professors, authority figures, etc., but does not necessarily mean I "like" them in the way that it's definition describes.

Shhmew

Age 28
Female
drifting
Seen November 3rd, 2014
Posted March 27th, 2014
332 posts
9.7 Years
Hrmm. I think I would rather be respected.

If someone doesn't like me, that's their own preference and it doesn't cause any issues. However, when someone doesn't respect me, it can lead to them treating me poorly and not caring about my feelings. That's when it starts to bother me.

There's plenty of people I don't like but I still respect enough to treat them the same as anyone else.
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