My Poems

Started by C.O.H March 2nd, 2005 11:51 AM
  • 638 views
  • 10 replies
Age 30
Under a stone >3
Seen May 31st, 2005
Posted March 19th, 2005
333 posts
18.4 Years
The Wind

Slowly, Gently
Through your hair
Gently sweeping in the air
Gently playing with your hair
Gently breaking down the trees
Gently resting in you knees
Slowly flying through the world
Slowly lifting up the bird
Slowly blowing
Slowly dying
Slowly coming back again

More to come
Seen September 28th, 2009
Posted September 28th, 2009
2,830 posts
18.4 Years
Hmm... I guess this describes the wind right? ^_^ It's written in a unique form... Although I don't know what it's called xD;;

There was one mistake I spotted, but it can be easily fixed. In the second to last line, you have "dieing", which should be dying . That's just a little pointer, but it's okay. We all have typos and spelling mistakes!

Other then that, good job! xD;; ~origin
i love you. </3
Age 30
Under a stone >3
Seen May 31st, 2005
Posted March 19th, 2005
333 posts
18.4 Years
I edited the mistake in "dying" and here is one more, not so good as the first one, but it's good!

The Beach

Like fire burning your skin
You walk on the hot sand
With water in sight and sand on the beach
With small children playing with balls and with stones
With grownups swimming in the horizon of sea
With grandmas and grandpas lying on the beach
And you just stand there with nothing to do

More to come
Poking the Gym Leader Jasmine.
Seen July 19th, 2010
Posted April 30th, 2005
1,020 posts
18.4 Years
Wow, nice poems, I like the first one. ^_^

I have claimed Jasmine from Pokemon in a thread which I can't remember o.o
|~Dragonair~ Fanclub|
|~Sidekicks with Lil' Schu~|
|~Rivals with Lion Heart~|
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~|Put this in your signature if you love Ash|~

Poking the Gym Leader Jasmine.
Seen July 19th, 2010
Posted April 30th, 2005
1,020 posts
18.4 Years
Hmm.. Yes, I like that one as well. Basically, I like the first one. ^_^

I have claimed Jasmine from Pokemon in a thread which I can't remember o.o
|~Dragonair~ Fanclub|
|~Sidekicks with Lil' Schu~|
|~Rivals with Lion Heart~|
Avatar made by Toto


~|Put this in your signature if you love Ash|~

Kyosuke

.·Simple Complexity

Age 34
Pickering, On
Seen August 8th, 2018
Posted May 17th, 2014
2,485 posts
19.7 Years
Your poetry is very good ^^, I really enjoyed both of what you posted. I admire your writing style with these, it really seems to go "all out" and you really put things such as the wind and beaches into reality of what it really feels like.
"Life isn't perfect, but sometimes you have to make the best of it."

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