That's so gay.

Started by Hatsune Mika April 4th, 2014 8:09 AM
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Hatsune Mika

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Posted February 13th, 2016
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Yeah, people say that as a reaction. What's your opinion on it? Do you use it?

For people who don't know how it is.
Exe: *boy walks in to pizza parlour with free pizza Fridays and gets excited*
"Yeah! Pizza!
*below the sign says for members of (insert ridiculous pizza club here)*
"Oh that's so gay."


1. What would you say? That? But is it appropriate when talking about an inanimate object?

2. I say it because I don't see gay as an offensive word towards human beings and since I'm bisexual I don't have any reason to say that.
Gay back then was 'happy' or 'good'. Why did it have to change into an offensive word towards girls/guys that are homosexual or 'gay'?
So to the point really, is it really supposed to be acknowledged as an offensive word or a mislead judgment of so said example?
Also, this would include all the other terms used like ♥♥♥(cigarette), ♥♥♥♥♥♥(bundle of sticks), etc.
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Nick

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I don't like it when people use it that way. You are issuing it in a negative connotation and therefore are subconsciously promoting negative associations to the word that many people struggle to accept in themselves for years. If you think something is lame, refer to it as lame. Unfortunately this use of the work has been engraved in the youth and will continue to thrive. On a personal level, calling something gay is a sure fire way for me to lose some respect for someone.

Timbjerr

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The first time I heard the word "gay" in the context of being synonymous with "lame" or "stupid" was in the elementary school playground...long before I had any concept of human sexuality, and I'll admit that even though I realize it's an offensive use of the word, it's a hard habit to shake off and I still catch myself using it that way from time to time, especially in a heightened emotional state. :/

Keiran

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What's your opinion on it?

It's really disrespectful to say. I hear non-gay people say "well I don't find it offensive.." probably several times a day. Well...duh..you're not part of the millions of people that are dehumanized by such usage of the word so you don't get to decide whether or not it's offensive. As for the f-slur..people who use that are disgusting and are not good people.

Do you use it?

Not in that way. There are several dozen other words to describe something that is unfavorable.
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I actually don't use the word gay at all, if I'm referring to someone homosexual, then I call them homosexual, not gay.

When something is lame, I use lame, or dumb, or stupid, or weird. I think it's disrespectful to homosexuals to use gay as a loose term for something dumb or lame.

It's like saying, "oh, that's so fat." as a term for something stupid, which would be disrespectful to overweight people.

Overall I stick with the terms that don't offend anyone.

Blu·Ray

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I think that the problem with saying gay for something lame or wimpy in the school yard is that kids who think they might be gay can get a feeling of distrust towards the others. If they all say that certain stuff is gay, then a person who is in doubt about his or her sexuality might not want to tell those people because he/she is afraid of being treated like the things people call gay at.

I think that it is wrong to use gay as an insult. Like when one of my classmates calls another classmate gay, I think about, what if he actually was secretly gay? Would the insult still be valid, and even worse, would the gay person feel humiliated?

Tek

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Imagine something unpleasant happens and you exclaim "Aw, gay!" Now imagine that a friend of yours, who is actually gay, is standing next to you. Do you feel embarrassed? Ashamed? You should, because you have just equated homosexuality with unpleasantness.

Some say, like Perverted Pikachu, that we are changing the word, as we have done with the N word. However, we cannot really compare the two, and here is why. N is now being used as a term of endearment: My N. This is the opposite of the way in which we are using gay. When used as slang, "gay" is always synonymous with "bad." We *are* changing the meaning, but to a negative one.

And the argument that it wasn't intended that way, we 'just started saying on the playground', is also invalid. Young kids, who didn't understand sexuality, picked up the term and its negative association from older children, who did understand sexuality, and who were deeming homosexuality to be ugly.

I will admit that I also say it out of habit, and it's not an easy habit to break. But I am trying, and I also try not to judge others who say it too harshly, even as I encourage them to change.

What I find to be very worthwhile about this sort of political correctness, at which most people turn their noses and scoff, is that by examining the hidden meanings of words, we are examining our way of thinking about the world. We are bringing the negative attitudes about homosexuality out of the shadows and into the light, in a very concrete and tangible way.

This political correctness is not "intellectual circle-jerking" (I have literally heard it called such), but in fact empowerment for the marginalized people in our world.
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I think it is really offensive to homosexuals. I would never call someone gay, or an inanimate object gay. I just say, "well that's stupid" instead of "gay"
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I do not like to use the word gay for anything other than the old meaning of being happy. I refer to myself and others as homosexual. I do not even like to hear others use the word because I just do not like words that insult people. A friend of mine would use that word all the time and we got into a heated argument about it, her reasoning was that she was not using it to insult homosexual people, but to refer to something as stupid and if I continued to use the word retarded, she said it was fine for her to call things gay.
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In a matter of honest opinion, I think you shouldn't defend yourself from something that isn't offensive. I get that it's supposed to define the average homosexual and all, but that doesn't equate to you calling somebody and "ass" or "c***" or "f***nut", there isn't that certain factor of offensiveness at all, but the context and usage of it in certain situations are definitely not an okay thing to be made generic, especially if it involves using the word "gay" to depict negative situations .

I don't use it, not because I think the word "gay" itself is bad, but because I don't want someone to misunderstand me and think that I am trying to hurt anyone with it.

Solution? Use other words.

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Flushed

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So I understand the use of "gay" as a substitute for "stupid" being frowned upon, but I'm picking up a vibe that "gay" as a substitute for "homosexual" is actually discouraged. To be honest, this is the first I'm hearing of this, as the term "gay" seems to be a colloquially accepted term with no derogatory implications when used for the purpose of describing sexuality. And sort of as an inverse corollary to what Tek said with the N-word being used affectionately, "gay's" original definition is one of positive connotation, so I guess I was just surprised that its use is somewhat discouraged, unless that's due solely to its modern-day equating to "stupid".

New Eden

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It's funny that this comes up today, because I went to an LGBT Centre here today and I heard a girl say it...a lot. Nobody seemed to be irked about it at all. I don't find any harm in it myself in the context of "stupid" which it has been used within nine times out of ten I hear it, yet I don't say it myself (kinda hate the idea of choosing which possibly offensive words are okay and what aren't, and not because of my sexual orientation.)

Do I find it offensive? No. Insensitive is a different story though, since somebody out there's probably getting hurt by others using the word for that purpose (though I'd presume they take even worse ones though.) Could also lead to different (and rather unfortunate) interpretations of what someone means depending on the context in which the word is said.

The English language has been subject to change in words, just like others. The word "gay" has had countless meanings over existence in the English language. It being synonymous with stupid is something our culture came up with, while the one before ours created the use for homosexual (however since that can be a mouthful they coexist.)

Just a couple of pennies for my thoughts.

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I think it'd be nice if there was a different word for the alternate meaning.

In all honesty there are people I know who I would call a ♥♥♥♥♥♥, but that doesn't imply that I think they're gay. There are things that I'd call gay and have no correlation to homosexuality (in terms of "childish", "unmanly", ironically), and at the same time there are things I call gay in which I have every relation to homosexuality (say, those circular cars that Kyle's dad made on South Park).

It's hard to describe the street definition of the F-word, but in all honesty I think it's slowly drifting away from relating to actually being gay. To be perfectly honest, when I hear that word from someone I know, they're more often using it as a general demasculative insult (like cloyster) rather than other bigots who actually use it as an insult to gays (which really bothers me). Then again, I end up being left-leaning neutral on most of these sorts of matters even though I'm bisexual, so go figure. \o/
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Khoshi

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It's got a negative tone and a different meaning to what it is, so I don't really like using it. It slips out, purely because of influence from others using it. It's the effect society has on our vocabulary, that meanings of words have shifted. Gay's gone from homosexual, happy, to just plain lame, bad, horrible, etc.

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I don't like it when people use it that way. You are issuing it in a negative connotation and therefore are subconsciously promoting negative associations to the word that many people struggle to accept in themselves for years. If you think something is lame, refer to it as lame. Unfortunately this use of the work has been engraved in the youth and will continue to thrive. On a personal level, calling something gay is a sure fire way for me to lose some respect for someone.
This basically.

I say things are "gay" but I mean that literally in the sense that "wow that is a man who sure loves another man/woman that loves another woman" or things that are stereotypically campy but hey I can get away with it since I'm gay and have to listen to "Dating is gay" (I am not kidding) or other things similar on a daily basis.

I mean for what it's worth it slips out and hey I'm not going to hate you if you use it once but if you use it around me even if I've asked you to stop then, well, you suck. In the same vein of thought if someone I'm just meeting is using it I'm not going to be comfortable and I probably won't try to further a friendship with them.

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I personally think it's one of those phrases that are dying. I haven't seen anybody use it in person since I was in high school, though it could be that people around me have gotten more mature.

That's just me though, maybe I'm lucky. (if you can even call it that)

I use it a lot, even in the presence of gay friends. It's just a word and people need to chill out about it. I hate people who are just like omg u sed gay u must b homofobe like no, chill out and stop being so rigid.
I see your point from a standpoint of overreaction, but I'd be careful with "just a word" assumptions.

Radiam

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I have used that phrase before, it really offended someone that I was around. I had no idea that it could be offensive at first, but I quickly realized that it was offensive. Then I stopped using it. Currently, I am against using the phrase because I really don't like upsetting people. If it wasn't something that was bad, I probably would use it. It is dying out anyways, I see less people using it nowadays, which is good in my opinion.

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Weren't other words used to describe the opposite of their original meaning since the roaring 20's? Give it time, and soon people will stop using "gay" as a substitution, only to be replaced by another existing word, because slang terms change from decade to decade (nobody uses "bootlegger" as a slang anymore).

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I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I'm not personally offended by it (though I'm bi not gay, I can't imagine I'd be offended by "that's so bi" either). That's probably because I don't feel that my sexuality is so closely tied to my identity. In fact, it has no connection to my identity or who I am as a person whatsoever, so why should I be personally offended?

But I like to choose my words carefully, and I don't want to offend anybody, so I never use it.
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OMG @ this even being a discussion topic in 2014.

No, I don't use the word gay in that sense because it has HOMOPHOBIC origins in the association of 'gay' with negativity. You can try to argue that 'words change over time', but this word has been adopted by a group of people and they use it to identify.

Don't undermine a minority's identity.
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Briar

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I don't like it when people use it that way. You are issuing it in a negative connotation and therefore are subconsciously promoting negative associations to the word that many people struggle to accept in themselves for years. If you think something is lame, refer to it as lame. Unfortunately this use of the work has been engraved in the youth and will continue to thrive. On a personal level, calling something gay is a sure fire way for me to lose some respect for someone.
basically.

i don't use it. precisely as Erik Destler stated, the word has origins as a slur, and though word usage (and language, in general) may evolve and vary, that does not remove the historical and social context/s the word is rooted in. and using a noun as an adjective or verb is particularly problematic is the noun is that of a minority group and if the said adjective or verb has a negative connotation by nature.

although people are justifying their use of the word by saying that members of the said group (e.g. gays, or Blacks in the case of the "n" word) are using it to refer to members of the same group. the reason why it's "okay" for them to use it to refer to one another is that, being members of the minority group the word targets, they have this shared awareness and experience of the weight and context of the word. as a member of the "out-group," you have none of that, thus, unless they're your friends, or they see you as a trustworthy, close companion, your usage of the term will come off as offensive and/or ignorant.

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I think you're incredibly obnoxious in trying to push your LGBT agenda. In my eyes groups can't "claim" words, and when they do all it does is deepen divisions within society.
While that may be true for your distorted perception of reality, that doesn't change the fact that saying "that's so gay" is undermining a minority's identity.

I don't think you quite understand what a minority is, nor how it works in society.
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