Favoritism

Started by Fernbutter May 12th, 2014 1:44 AM
  • 624 views
  • 7 replies

Fernbutter

Murder is the way.

Male
The depths of the internet
Seen June 10th, 2017
Posted June 2nd, 2014
821 posts
9.4 Years
What do you think about this? I know that a lot of people do this without realizing it, and also a lot of people have been experiencing this for awhile. The entire idea is just really rude and hurtful when you find out about it, and yet people still do it, fair or not. What is your opinion about this? Any experiences?

There should be a signature here somewhere.
I wonder where it's gone.
Age 28
Male
Unova
Seen September 9th, 2015
Posted May 17th, 2015
741 posts
14.3 Years
To treat everyone "fairly" is not always as simple as it sounds. Doing so almost requires you to downplay behavior that you like or don't like so you're not elevating any one person or putting any one person. Given that humans tend to be opinionated, that isn't a particularly easy task. I don't think it's necessarily a negative thing to have a degree of favoritism so long as it's not taken to the point where it becomes exclusionary.

Oryx

CoquettishCat

Age 30
Female
Seen January 30th, 2015
Posted December 27th, 2014
13,184 posts
12.2 Years
I am often anti-favoritism to the most precise degree I can help - if I have to judge something, I will set out small, quantifiable things to judge it. For example I was trying to judge a presentation and some of my points were "variable pitch in voice", "looked at audience at least twice during presentation","had less than 50 ums", etc.

That being said, I had to judge a presentation as part of a class once and I suggested things like that and the class mocked me because they just wanted to say "that felt A-ish" without any addressing of their own biases. I feel like that's how most people are; they would rather just go with their gut than analyze their thoughts deeply for bias. Self-reflection is a rare art.

If I am shown favoritism, though, I don't feel ethically opposed to accepting it. My job is due to favoritism; a wise man once told me "get a job through nepotism, earn it through merit". Although I want to judge people objectively and try to get an unbiased opinion, I know that that is not the case with everyone and therefore I will gladly take advantage of the favoritism of others.


Theme * Pair * VM * PM

Not all men...

Are all men stupid?

That's right.

twocows

The not-so-black cat of ill omen

Age 32
Male
Michigan
Seen February 19th, 2023
Posted April 30th, 2021
4,307 posts
14.2 Years
It is unfair, but so are many things in life. Complaining won't change anything; most people naturally play favorites, it's something in our nature. If it bothers you so much, change it. To do that, you're going to need some sort of position of power, though, and you're not going to get that by being a misanthropic hermit. Learn how to be likable: learn tact, develop a sense of humor, and develop other people skills. You don't have to be fake, just learn to be likable and effective. Then, if favoritism still bothers you so much once you have people to manage (and it should), you can have your charge be a strict meritocracy.
VNs are superior to anime, don't @ me

Eevee

╰( ´・ω・)つ━☆゚.* ・。゚

Age 28
Female
Canada
Seen July 7th, 2016
Posted July 4th, 2014
678 posts
9.7 Years
It's definitely not fair but it does happen far more than we want it to.

Though, that said, I think that parents should NEVER pick favourites among their kids. I find that not only does this make the other kid(s) involved angry but most of the time, they'll end up despising the favourite child.

For example, my sister is the youngest in my family so she gets away with a lot of things. I'll end up cleaning after her when she's turning 14 this year so she's perfectly capable of cleaning after herself.

I'm worried that one day I'll end up hating her just because my parents spoil her. I'd never force that upon my children.

Perhaps you don't need to treat people EQUAL but FAIRLY.


Raine

Age 29
Female
Ontario, Canada
Seen December 16th, 2017
Posted October 5th, 2017
3,722 posts
9.3 Years
I guess the concept of favouritism boils down to what individuals find attractive regarding personality traits, and how they perceive the characters of other people, which in essence would be the impression we have of everyone. Like Eevee mentioned, parents probably do internally, and subconsciously pick a "favourite" child. For instance, in my personal experience, I think me being the younger sibling has nothing to do with my parents treating me better than my sister during certain phases. From my perspective, it has more to do with the trust that I've managed to build with my parents because compared to the escapades my sister had during high school where she was slightly on the troublesome side, I've learned from that, and adapted so that my parents have significantly more leniency.

I'll be honest, even amongst my circle of friends, I do have the few individuals whom I treat better than everyone else simply based on the "connection" that we have. I'm not entirely sure if it's obvious to everyone else when I show favouritism though, but I know for a fact that some of my behaviours are different between them: texting style is different, the way I speak to them, etc. Like the others have already mentioned, yes, it is unfair to have this concept of favouritism linger around, but life is unfortunately unfair.

Hiatus

Seen 6 Days Ago
Posted July 24th, 2021
12,283 posts
10.8 Years
Everyone has their favorites, even if they refuse to say so; some show these things blatantly, while hide them. It doesn't matter if they're actually good or not, but they still try. Is favoritism a bad thing, though? I wouldn't say it is--not completely. Let's look at one of its good sides; when you see somebody picking the opposite person on something, it allows you to study, compare, and gain some possible insights on why they're siding with them and not you. This, in result, would lend ideas on what you might need to improve yourself on, helping you become better of a person. Most people don't think this way (sometimes, I don't, either, to be honest), and instead, directly jump to conclusion and declare unfairness. I really wouldn't blame them, though, because we're all human; that's how our mind works. Well, maybe not for all of us, but at least some.
Age 29
Male
Melbourne, Australia
Seen January 2nd, 2015
Posted November 28th, 2014
910 posts
12.1 Years
I don't think favouritism is such a big deal. I consciously seek out my favourite options to side with thorough forethought and sometimes familiarity. My thoughts are totally independent and I don't really on others to form an opinion. There is a problem that arises when not everyone is like that and sometimes people form opinions with help from others. Which is totally fine and perfectly legitimate way to form opinions when done for the right reasons. It's more on a grander scale when people become sheep where any favouritism becomes corrupt.