Loner for life

Started by Sonata May 28th, 2014 5:51 AM
  • 1046 views
  • 19 replies

Sonata

Don't let me disappear

Age 27
Male
Indiana
Seen 8 Hours Ago
Posted March 25th, 2023
13,619 posts
10.2 Years
Sometimes I feel lime I don't have enough friends or that I don't socialize enough. But I can't stand most of the people I talk to irl. Sometimes I feel like they might talk about me behind my back. Do you ever feel these things? On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself on your sociability?
Age 28
Male
Distortion World
Seen December 13th, 2020
Posted February 26th, 2018
2,473 posts
12.9 Years
Sometimes I feel lime I don't have enough friends or that I don't socialize enough. But I can't stand most of the people I talk to irl. Sometimes I feel like they might talk about me behind my back. Do you ever feel these things? On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself on your sociability?
Sorry, but Lmao.

So let me get this straight, you feel like they talk about you behind your back, and that's why you hate them? And you don't have friends/socialize cos you hate them?
Man, I dont know what to tell you.
To put this simple, you dont have friends because you are paranoid, either that, or you are surrounded with all idiots. Either way, you have to go out and meet new people.

"The future you see is the future you get."
Female
Seen July 10th, 2014
Posted June 19th, 2014
44 posts
9 Years
I'm a socialable person, in that I'll talk to just about anyone. But I don't tend to make a lot of friends. I much prefer to be on my own, and I don't really have friends for the sake of having friends. I have a small circle of 'real' friends, who I meet up with a couple of times a month.

I wouldn't worry too much, if you can't stand them don't waste your time with them.

Life is not a popularity contest, though some may lead you to think that. ;)

Safari Type: Electric : Electrode, Electabuzz, Galvantula.
Shinies Caught: 4

Steven

h e l p

Age 30
Male
Ohio
Seen January 4th, 2023
Posted September 11th, 2021
1,380 posts
12.3 Years
Sometimes I feel lime I don't have enough friends or that I don't socialize enough. But I can't stand most of the people I talk to irl. Sometimes I feel like they might talk about me behind my back. Do you ever feel these things? On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself on your sociability?
It's called being overly paranoid. I'm exactly the same way. One of my biggest fears is being betrayed so I often become paranoid about things like that.

Best solution is to realize that no one really cares about you enough to talk about you behind your back. The ones that do care about you either don't do it or are your enemies and require destruction.
Keep being amazing.
Shiny Pokemon

£

You're gonna have a bad time.

Age 31
Male
"england would also be acceptible"
Seen November 3rd, 2019
Posted November 5th, 2017
947 posts
9.2 Years
Maybe 3-4 as far as my SOCIABLE NATURE goes. But what socialising I do is nice, and then the rest of the time I'm mostly burnt out as opposed to worried. 8D

If you harbour ill feelings towards the people you associate with, you're more likely to reflect those feelings in how you act towards them.

let go of the negativity maaaaan.
Sarcasm, its what social able people have, you know wen you go out and meet chicks just not on forums 1,000,000 miles away from you and you ask them what color underwear they have. - Aristotle, 355 B.C

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Xilfer

Just won't die.

Male
Your mind
Seen May 5th, 2015
Posted May 5th, 2015
1,880 posts
12.7 Years
I guess on a scale, 5-6. I'm polite enough to most people, though most people don't talk to me. I tend to blend into the scenery when I'm surrounded by people I don't know or just simple acquaintances. However, somehow, I managed to get myself a group of friends. Don't ask me how; I was never friendly enough with anyone that they would actually come to like me. It just... happened. If I had to guess, I'd say it was mostly through my sister's connections and a string of coincidences. When it comes to my actual friends, though, I don't mind expending a little extra energy to be friendly. And anyway, it can be quite fun to hang out with friends. Though socializing irl tends to make me really tired, so I prefer to only do it when I have to. Which... seems to be often, because my friends never leave me alone.

As for the populace in general, since I honestly couldn't care less what anyone thinks of me, paranoia and such has never really been a problem. I'm pretty sure that everyone I'm not friends with hates me anyhow, which is why I blend in so well; because nobody wants to talk to me. And frankly, I prefer it that way as well. Let them think and say what they want, as long as they don't bother me or my friends about it I don't care. Which they don't seem to.

Raine

Age 29
Female
Ontario, Canada
Seen December 16th, 2017
Posted October 5th, 2017
3,722 posts
9.3 Years
This a problem that I deal with from time-to-time. Often times I realize that majority of my friends message me whenever they want something, not necessarily because they want to hang out or anything so it makes me feel irrelevant in some ways \: I don't hate them for any particular reason though because I know that majority of the time, those thoughts invade my mind mainly due to my self-esteem issues, and my trust issues. I always feel like people are basically plotting against me or that they could drop me as a friend with little to no remorse, but I try to be as sociable as possible. So I guess on the scale, I would say that I'm 6 or 7?

Trev

i gave you everything...

Age 26
Male
Seen December 31st, 2021
Posted March 27th, 2019
1,505 posts
11 Years
Saying things like "I hate everyone" and then complaining about not having friends is contradictory and hypocritical. If you really want friends, be nice to people. Not saying this rudely, but you sound like you're not trying to be friends and are just expecting people to befriend you automatically. No one has the time for a grumpy pants :D

As for me, I'm generally nice to someone until they give me a reason not to be. Which doesn't happen as much as it used to, but still. Unfortunately, I suffer from Anti-Party syndrome, in where I may go to an event and feel majorly out-of-place because I only know one person there, and said person is too busy with other people to talk to me. I get really abnormally shy and just scoot away from anyone whenever I can. People who dare to approach me while I'm in this state often leave soon after because I'm not interesting at all when I'm like this. It sucks.

Altairis

take me ☆ take you

Female
database database
Seen December 29th, 2022
Posted October 5th, 2018
5,170 posts
11 Years
I'm too quiet outside of the computer and really shy on here - I'm not usually the first to start a conversation. I used to believe that a lot of my friends irl have people that they are better friends with and I am often put second - however, I'm not sure if that is entirely the case since maybe it's me who is not putting myself out there enough.

Sometimes I get kinda stuck, haha, because I want to be friends with a lot of people but I never really stand out that much due to me keeping to myself a lot. I usually blend into the background since I'm very introverted but I noticed that recently I've become more outgoing!

ORAS/XYBW
Male
Seen August 13th, 2014
Posted August 13th, 2014
72 posts
9.1 Years
Sometimes I feel lime I don't have enough friends or that I don't socialize enough. But I can't stand most of the people I talk to irl. Sometimes I feel like they might talk about me behind my back. Do you ever feel these things? On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate yourself on your sociability?
8. Most of the time, they approach me first. Pretty shy at first. I feel that too, the fear of being talked about but if you know you didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't be afraid.

Arylett Charnoa

No one in particular.

Age 31
Female
Seen January 5th, 2023
Posted October 18th, 2017
1,130 posts
9.3 Years
My general sociability level is 4 out of 10.

I am easily exhausted by the presence of others. They overwhelm me and take me away from myself. When they're around, I often act differently in order to please them and not make any conflict. I feel around others, I cannot be my true self at all. Due to my own issues, I avoid them. I fear that they'll hate me, think I'm crazy or stupid. Rejection is a huge fear I have. But moreso, I fear that I can't know what they're thinking.

Because I've spent so much time by myself, I don't understand what goes through the heads of others. If they think the same way I do or feel the same way I do. My feelings have always been more than a little unusual in vast irrationality with massive anxiety problems, so it doesn't help. I can't know if they're going to be anxious as I am about something, made uncomfortable. What I assume is that everyone is just more sociable and brave than I am, so I try to treat them differently from myself. I always tell myself my thoughts of negativity aren't true and they're just thinking things that I'm not thinking.

It's a very stressful experience. But I try to ignore all of my feelings and just press forward because I get really lonely without them. I need people, and I need close friends. It's the only way I know how to deal with these sorts of things. What I do is I make myself open to approach, rather than approaching others. Then I let them come to me. Because approaching others creates too much anxiety at the moment. Maybe sometimes, if I'm in a certain mood, I'll approach them to start a conversation. I can do it if I just... do it without thinking. But fears like this aren't easily tossed aside.

All of this applies to internet AND real life, but it's easier on the internet because I can find more people who have things in common with me.

Raine

Age 29
Female
Ontario, Canada
Seen December 16th, 2017
Posted October 5th, 2017
3,722 posts
9.3 Years
I used to believe that a lot of my friends irl have people that they are better friends with and I am often put second - however, I'm not sure if that is entirely the case since maybe it's me who is not putting myself out there enough.
I know that feeling all too well -hand on shoulder- ;; Like within my circle of friends, I always feel like the one who at times is left out of the loop, and put at the bottom :c

Skystrike

As old as time itself.

Age 24
Male
Beyond the Sky
Seen 3 Days Ago
Posted March 7th, 2021
1,640 posts
14.7 Years
I rate myself a one.

Reason: NO REAL LIFE FRIENDS >:C

And I really only have one friend on the whole internet (they're an amazing person though <3) ... I don't know what's the problem :(


No. 448
Garchomp, the Mach Pokémon


TwilightBlade

All dreams are but another reality.

Age 31
Female
Florida
Seen 8 Hours Ago
Posted 5 Days Ago
7,098 posts
16 Years
Real life friends? Ahh... three don't text me back now that we have all graduated and they don't need my help on homework and studying anymore... so one friend who keeps in touch with me...? I'm generally awkward and easily overwhelmed when put on the spot. I need time to think of the right words I want to express myself with. I'm polite and can adapt though, so my sociability is about 3/10.

I tried to carry on with life while rejecting any relationships with others because I parted ways with my best friend after going to different high schools. She was this wicked smart girl who loved football and anime and video games, and hated jewelry and purses and dresses. We stayed in touch via email and AIM, but she was a completely different person after getting a boyfriend so quickly. We talked less and less with each passing day until we talked no more. I don't think I wanted to feel the pain of being left behind ever again. Yet, once I rejected relationships, I became stuck. I lost the opportunity to meet new people and change. It's like, I was stuck at 14 just waiting for her to come back. I wouldn't make friends in high school because I was hurt. Ahh, but then I joined forums.. met some incredible people here, especially in my recent years. Hey, pair. The overall experience boosted my self-esteem. I never truly will know if my friends are talking behind my back, but I want to look forward to tomorrow with someone by my side at the very least.

You might be able to get a great friend if you try socializing. If you don't try, you definitely can't. What is it that you have to lose? Nearly everyone goes through these fears and insecurities. It's just another part of life, and life should move forward.

Nick

Seen 4 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
It honestly really depends on my mood. Some days I'll get in moods where I'll talk to strangers and smile at them and just be super present in conversations and engaging. Other days, I don't want to be bothered by anybody. And that's almost usually the case when I'm out and about. I can engage in conversation if I have to, like if I'm talking to someone who I need to talk to - like a sales associate, and things like that - and I can be engaging and funny and whatnot. But if I have an unplanned encounter with even a friend while I'm out, I'm generally pretty awkward and uncomfortable to be around when I'm feeling that way.

Still, I think I have a pretty compatible and likable personality once you really get to know me as a person. I feel like I can be friends with anybody, but it usually takes a bit for me to open my shell. So I'm just going to give myself a 5/10 since that's a nice middle ground. But when I'm social, I feel I'm at least a solid 7. And when I don't want to be bothered and am feeling super closed off from other people, I'm a 1.

Candy

Age 26
Female
In OJ Land
Seen 1 Week Ago
Posted August 22nd, 2020
3,813 posts
14.3 Years
I can't really see how socialable I am with other people, but I'll give myself a 1/10

I tend to be nice to other people and greet them whenever they greeted me, as well as never being the one starting the conversation, unless if they are close friends of mine. Other than that though, I tend to enter solitude. It's amazing on how many people approached me whenever I'm alone in my own world.

But here's the thing: Unless if they're a good friend of mine, I'd normally think to myself when will that person leave me alone so I can have my quiet time? To shoo them off is quite impolite as well.

Texting is out of the question for me. I never text anyone first, and if anyone texted me, I'll probably only check it by night time.

From what I just said, I guess my social life actually nearing zero if it weren't for the fact that I still have close real life friends. I really need to fix that when I hit college, but I just really hate communicating with others. :/
_
Zhuang Zi
Crash Fever

starseed galaxy auticorn

PC's Resident Auticorn

Age 34
she/he/they
the land of magical unicorns
Seen 1 Day Ago
Posted 1 Week Ago
6,648 posts
18.9 Years
I'd say my sociality is between 1 and 5. I'm not social at all, and when I am, it's usually because something has piqued my interest. I can communicate better online though, but not when I'm face to face with someone. This is because I'm also autistic btw. It's not like I don't want to socialize or anything though. I really do, but I have a hard time connecting to the idea of interaction with others. :/ I can be VERY socially-awkward and extremely random when I speak. I'll literally start talking to someone without even saying hi to them or anything. It's just how I am since interaction is really hard. Just saying something to a person is enough for me to get all anxious around the person and have to walk away.

I do have a few real life friends that I met at Saboten who live here in Arizona. They are both very close friends of mine, and I try to talk to them when I can, but anxiety usually gets the best of me. ><

Honest

Hi!

Age 27
Male
New York City
Seen March 19th, 2023
Posted November 7th, 2022
11,676 posts
14.7 Years
Oh, I never did actually answer the OP. I'd give myself a confident 8 or 9. I know my friends like me. It's honestly not that hard to be liked. You just need to have a little courage. Have that, and keep your wits, and you'll be happy.
he did it, not me.