Rise & Fall

Started by KLS March 10th, 2005 4:15 PM
  • 590 views
  • 3 replies

KLS

PC's Eternal Witness

Age 32
patiently waiting for zappy to come back
Seen November 7th, 2005
Posted August 4th, 2005
1,397 posts
19.7 Years
Rise & Fall

don't ignore me
because I'm right under you
waste one second
and you'll be swallowed whole

look at me
cold, blood stained eyes
fall into my glare
and feel the hatred

come at me
but don't hesitate because
it's my time to rise
and your time to fall

Twins With Kenny_C.002 (he's teh eastside twin XD, Mod for Other Cards)
Evil Twins With NiNGi (Ninja-sama on drugs)
Rivals With Kyosuke (the mod for other writing)
My sidekick is Niko (lol, Simon Cowell, the mod of PFF and pokemon comics)
My Older Sister is Typhlozion (also a mod for other writing and New Users/Welcome)
Reached 1000 posts (for the second time, XD) on 2/6/04
Owner of The NiNGi Fanclub, XD.

Natsuki

.bluefang.

Age 33
Female
Minnesota
Seen July 16th, 2015
Posted March 22nd, 2012
5,046 posts
18.2 Years
Rise & Fall

don't ignore me
because I'm right under you
waste one second
and you'll be swallowed whole

look at me
cold, blood stained(blood-stained) eyes
fall into my glare
and feel the hatred

come at me
but don't hesitate because
it's my time to rise
and your time to fall
Oooh, this one sounds power-hungry. XD I like the mood you get from this one. This poem is kinda showing what true confidence is like. Possibly even over-confidence. ^^;

You feel as though no one can beat you, in anything. You are the soul master, the lord who watches over the land and laighs at his own strength and prowess.

The only spelling error was the word blood-stained, but I've corrected it for you. You can have the dash in between it, but it doesn't always call for that. ^o^

I also should inform you that you should use capitol letters in the first letter of the first word in every line. ^^ Also, you need to use punctuation (Commas, colons, etc.) after each line in any poem. This helps with the overall appearance of the poem and it really strengthens the flow too. ^^

Good work KLS, keep on writing those great poem! ^.~

~Kelsey