My Personal Best

Started by IceKing March 10th, 2005 5:06 PM
  • 605 views
  • 3 replies
Seen March 2nd, 2014
Posted December 28th, 2012
135 posts
18.2 Years
I always thought these two poems were the best ones I ever wrote

This one was a resposne to the holocaust. LOADS AND LOADS of symbolism here

Hades rose from Hell unto Europe
With his demonic soldiers, heads ablaze, brains washed
Bearing sharp scimitars, dripping with blood, deciding millions of fates
All who oppose Hades must feel the blade
Into their heart
Into their soul

Jews were tattooed Christ Killers
With the star of death gleaming upon their chests
The soldiers search for the stars
Those who bear it get sent to Hades camps
Driving their mind to sorrow
Driving their mind to hate

Fear crawls upon them like a spider to a trapped fly
Hope for a hand to save them from drowning in the ocean of despair
Slowly walks away
Many must walk into Hades jaws and inhale his breath
Killing those outside slowly
Killing those inside quickly

They curse at the sunny skies above
All this chaos and suffering
Must end soon they wish
Hope finally arrived with the angels at Normandy
With forces of light they overwhelmed Hades
With forces of light they pulled the survivors free


And heres a love poem I wrote.

Aphrodite

My heart winces, and my blood blazes
She is coming, She has arrived
The icy morning air stops in it's tracks
Everything is alright because she is here

She is like the goddess of beauty Aphrodite
Her sapphire blue eyes are a beacon in the darkness
Her cascade of golden honey flutters softly in the breeze
Her face is pure innocence that slices through the terrors of the night

Mine eyes are not worthy of such a beautiful sight
Mine heart wails in sorrow, for the love it cannot have
Time is frozen as she ambles her sweet amble
I'm petrified like a statue that has seen a ghost

Her soft voice echoes throughout an abyss of sorrow
Shattering its walls like dropping a mirror
Her light gigle is all it takes to pull me from the abyss
So that all will be fine again

I snap back to reality and everything is joyful
As long as my Aphrodite is here
Seen May 9th, 2010
Posted August 28th, 2009
2,224 posts
18.4 Years
Very creative use of words. Lots of thought but not something to relate to personally..
That's what I think of the first one.
The second..it seems like the person is very happy with the one they love.
Yes I've been surrounded by sad stuff all day, and in need of something cheerful.
Good job and looking forward to more.6^

Natsuki

.bluefang.

Age 33
Female
Minnesota
Seen July 16th, 2015
Posted March 22nd, 2012
5,046 posts
18.2 Years
Awwwws, these two poems were so beautiful. ;o; The first one was my personal favorite; it showed what those poor Jewish people had gone through in those concentration camps. Your detail and desprictions were good, even with the part where the nazis labeled the Jews as "Christ Kellers".

I myself am Jewish, so this poem really made me shed a tear. ;-; I absolutely loved it, awsome job IceKing. ^______^

The second one is really good too. I love the descriptions in that one as well. ^o^ It makes me think of a beautiful yet horrifying goddess who's revenge is sweet but her heart is even sweeter. <3 Great work IK! Keep it up. ;D

~Kelsey
Seen March 2nd, 2014
Posted December 28th, 2012
135 posts
18.2 Years
Thanks for the comments! I never liked this poem, but for some reason all my teachers did and it won a contest.

Where Am I From?

From Beeath the cackling sun of wild green India
Where I dwelled for a year, a year of being hovered over
They were the bees-
And I was the honey.

From the freezing metropolis of Chicago
Where my mind only sees
The evils of my father
Sending us back to the wild green

From the violent streets of New York
Under the tyranny of the ludicruos landlady
Though the crust of my life there was crumbled-
The filling was the sweetest meringue

From days with folks I call "family"
Mom struggling to take care of us, the new Saudi-Stepdad, and two sisters:
One a hip ghetto wannabe
The other a scholar destined for success

From visits to our countless relatives
The stench of triglyceride-coated curries smoggin my brain
Being embarrased as Uncle goes out in his "munde"- "the bedsheet skirt,"
Ignoring mom's yells of the "proper Indian way"

From outside with friends
Andres, Danny, T&F, Richard, and Mark
Bike rides, walking the dog, all the good stuff
The slam of the ball as it meets whatever body part

Even though we packed our bags
And headed down south
I still am, and always will be,
A Yankee at heart

Can you guys tell me why they liked it? I hate it!