Being kicked out.

Started by Nick June 13th, 2014 11:50 AM
  • 486 views
  • 4 replies

Nick

Seen 4 Weeks Ago
Posted July 28th, 2021
17,572 posts
18.6 Years
What do you think of parents who kick out their children? Give me your general opinion on parents kicking out their children.

Let me give four examples that I hope you specifically comment on as well! You don't have to, but it would be nice to see your thoughts on these different scenarios.

1. An adult child around the age of 27. Hasn't held down a steady job in seven years and he's currently not employed, but he does his best to keep the house clean. He often gets into fights with his step-dad, who doesn't like him because he has a history of drug use when he was a teenager.
2. A teenage girl whose a sophomore in high school, so she's around 16 years old. She got pregnant from a boyfriend who her parents have told her to stay away from and refer to as a son of a... you know.
3. An adult child who just turned 19. Never really got along well with his parents growing up, but he has a part time job and is looking to further his education and waiting back from colleges he applied to last month.
4. A 14 year old boy came out of the closet and told his super religious mother and father that he's gay. They didn't accept him. As a consequence, he rebelled against them and often got into trouble at school for being a disturbance and skipping class. He picked up smoking soon afterwards.

In all examples, the parents have decided to throw them out.

Oryx

CoquettishCat

Age 30
Female
Seen January 30th, 2015
Posted December 27th, 2014
13,184 posts
12.2 Years
Well, it's illegal to kick someone out under 18, but I'll put that aside for now.

Once you get to a certain age, I don't think parents have a moral responsibility to continue providing you with things free of charge. That age is usually somewhere between 16 and 18. Anything lower than 16 and the person can't even get a job, and if they're not mature enough to be able to figure out living on their own at 18 I lose sympathy because you had plenty of time to get it straight. I don't think the forever bond of parent and child is a thing, because I've known some terrible parents and terrible children and there's nothing so special about mutual blood that makes it so you should be forced to deal with people you hate.

So anything below 16 is automatically terrible to me because that person has no way to fend for themselves. Anything above 18 to me is pretty "meh" because it's their house, their property, and if they want to kick someone off of it for coughing too loudly that's really their business. I wouldn't want someone telling me I should be forced to share what I worked hard for with someone no matter how I felt about it, even if I'm willing to share, you know? In the 16-18 range, I would judge based on the terribleness of what the kid did and how much the kid still needs the parents. In your 16 year old scenario the girl will be highly unlikely to be able to support herself and the likely result of that is starting a cycle of poverty for generations, so I would judge parents who kicked her out. Also, the fact that she got pregnant at 16 is a sign that she's really not ready to make her own decisions which means she still needs her parents.


Theme * Pair * VM * PM

Not all men...

Are all men stupid?

That's right.

Kanzler

naughty biscotti

Male
Toronto
Seen April 22nd, 2022
Posted March 11th, 2022
5,957 posts
14.8 Years
I don't really believe in parents kicking their children out - unless the child is that terrible, in which case it might not deserve to belong in society anyways.

Chores aren't difficult. It's honestly not that difficult to clean the dishes, the clothes, the house, etc etc etc. It might be different if you have a household of three children in which none of the children do any of the work, but if you have one or two children, it's not that bad.

Besides, kicking the child out means forcing them to pay rent. I don't believe in rent. Depending on where you live, that could mean $600 going down the drain each month, for what? It also means that the child would have to deal with transportation all by themselves, whereas they might have access to a car if they stayed with the parents.

I mean, there's a bigger picture of meaningless spending here. Maybe my child annoys me to no end, but I think it's pretty irrational to duplicate costs by throwing them out. Those costs are going to turn into some kind of debt, which is good for nobody in this picture except for the bank they end up loaning from. That's all kinds of inefficient. I don't know about you, but it annoys me to no end with dollars go down the drain. Somebody worked for them.
Age 29
Seen November 5th, 2017
Posted November 5th, 2017
3,499 posts
14.9 Years
I think if the relationship between parent and child has gotten that bad, it's better for everyone if they just move out... it's not really fair, but not much is in life. I know I certainly don't enjoy living with people that don't like me.

Parents are people too, sometimes they are just crappy, sometimes it's not really anybody's fault. One of my closest friends was kicked out of her house and she is really struggling, but I know if she stayed at home it would probably be worse for her mental well-being.

Taemin

MOVE

he / they
USA
Seen January 6th, 2023
Posted December 9th, 2022
11,196 posts
17.8 Years
I'd reply to all those scenarios specifically, but my opinion of them is all the same.

You should never kick your own children out of the house.

Doesn't matter whether they get into fights, or they got pregnant at 15, or they're gay, or transgender, or are an atheist in a Christian household. Usually if a kid has a bad relationship with their family, they want out of their own free will, and that's still sad. Though, when a parent suddenly turns on their kid for any reason, it's disgusting to me, and it makes me wonder just how much they ever even loved them to begin with.

When you love someone, you should work to understand them, and except them. That's part of what love is. Parents that toss that out the window just blow my mind. It doesn't matter what you believe, they're your child. Even really loving a friend, or a spouse would hold much the same concept.

If a relationship is toxic, yes, one side or the other should find a way out, but that's entirely different than blind-siding a kid.


I can't leave this spot that's empty without you
It's an area that no one else can fill
The night's never gonna be the same.

SHINee - Area

paired to Palamon