Eternal

Started by oni flygon March 11th, 2005 8:05 PM
  • 624 views
  • 8 replies
Bittertown
Seen September 2nd, 2009
Posted December 28th, 2008
7,901 posts
19.7 Years
Short poem from me. I hope you guys enjoy it! Comments and criticisms are welcome! =D

Eternal

Eternal

Like the sky up above,
Holding up the glorious sun.
I hold my heart up to her
Kneeling

Like the river that flows,
Gushing forth to the sea.
I rush to give her a kiss
Running

Like the vast blue ocean
That continues to flow
I continue to love her
Forevermore

Pocket Monsters Special!

Natsuki

.bluefang.

Age 33
Female
Minnesota
Seen July 16th, 2015
Posted March 22nd, 2012
5,046 posts
18.2 Years
Short poem from me. I hope you guys enjoy it! Comments and criticisms are welcome! =D

Eternal

Eternal

Like the sky up above,
Holding up the glorious sun.
I hold my heart up to her
Kneeling

Like the river that flows,
Gushing forth to the sea.
I rush to give her a kiss
Running

Like the vast blue ocean
That continues to flow
I continue to love her
Forevermore
Awwwwws, yet another wonderful poem Niko! ^___^ This poem is so sweet and very heart-felt. ^^ You really describe the love that grows between two people. Also how people go through great lengths to prove their love. <3

The only recommendation I have for you is to use commas, periods, colons, or semi-colons at the end of each line. This really helps with the flow of the poem and makes the poem more attractive to look at too. ^^

Nice work Niko, keep it up! 8D

~Kelsey
Bittertown
Seen September 2nd, 2009
Posted December 28th, 2008
7,901 posts
19.7 Years
Awwwwws, yet another wonderful poem Niko! ^___^ This poem is so sweet and very heart-felt. ^^ You really describe the love that grows between two people. Also how people go through great lengths to prove their love. <3

The only recommendation I have for you is to use commas, periods, colons, or semi-colons at the end of each line. This really helps with the flow of the poem and makes the poem more attractive to look at too. ^^

Nice work Niko, keep it up! 8D

~Kelsey
Awww... thanks! X3

I'm working on the punctuation marks... I just forget them halfway while writing the poem... X_X

Pocket Monsters Special!

KLS

PC's Eternal Witness

Age 32
patiently waiting for zappy to come back
Seen November 7th, 2005
Posted August 4th, 2005
1,397 posts
19.7 Years
lovely poem oni!
This style suits you MUCH better.

Twins With Kenny_C.002 (he's teh eastside twin XD, Mod for Other Cards)
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